


One's Company, Two's a Crowd, and Three's a Party

by Inkandquills, writersstudy



Series: Roleplay Fics [5]
Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Baby!Jaemin, Body Dysmorphia, M/M, Mentions of miscarriage, Mpreg, very very subtle lowkey allusions to abortion, yuta really hates being pregnant and really hates jaemin so be prepared for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-06-02 22:21:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 101,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19450645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkandquills/pseuds/Inkandquills, https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersstudy/pseuds/writersstudy
Summary: This was really, truly, the last thing that Yuta ever wanted.[[PLEASE NOTE THAT WE, THE AUTHORS, HAVE NOT GIVEN PERMISSION FOR THIS WORK TO BE RE-POSTED ANYWHERE EXCEPT DIRECTLY ON AO3. IF YOU SEE THIS WORK ANYWHERE ELSE, PLEASE REPORT IT FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT AND NOTIFY US AT LIVING.LENIENTLY@GMAIL.COM. THANK YOU.]]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Finally! The YuJohnTen story everyone has been asking for! 
> 
> Please note that this starts in the middle of the first Christmas scene in Written In The Stars so go read that if you need context!

After a shy nod from Yuta, Ten piped up. "Maybe your next book could be a parent's guide to having a baby. It would really help some of us out," he said, smiling widely. Kun stared at Ten, slightly confused for a moment until it clicked. He gasped quietly and his face broke into a large grin. 

Taeyong was confused. "What do you mean, Tennie?" he asked slowly, "I'm a fiction writer."

Kun rolled his eyes and sat back; he wanted to see how long it took for Taeyong to understand. "Well I know that, but it doesn't hurt to broaden your horizons. Besides sometimes the needs of your audience...changes," he answered cryptically. "Oh, just tell them," Yuta whined quietly, but Ten didn't budge.

"Tennie, you're making no sense," Taeyong said again. He was starting to get an inkling of what Ten meant, but he was gonna make the younger man say it.

Ten decided to switch tactics. “Chenle’s certainly not going to bored for a long time considering he’ll have two babies to play with soon.” “Why are you being so dramatic?” Yuta huffed. 

"Oh my god, Ten, just spit it out already," Taeyong said in exasperation. He was getting annoyed with this and he could tell Johnny was about to walk out of the room.

“You’re no fun,” Ten said faking a pout. Quickly composing himself after Yuta shot a glare in his direction, he took a deep breath. “We’re having a baby,” he said excitedly. The wide grin found its way back onto his face and he tightened his grip around Yuta’s waist ever so slightly.

"That's amazing, Yuta, congratulations!" Taeyong said happily. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Johnny slip out of the room, an odd look on his face. He sighed and painstakingly got up from the couch. "I'll be right back."

Yuta didn’t miss Johnny leaving the room, but he didn’t have time to worry about it as Kun was suddenly standing right in front of them. 

Taeyong waddled after Johnny as quickly as he could. "Seo Youngho! I'm seven months pregnant, slow the hell down," he huffed out, glad that Johnny stopped for him. "Are you okay?"

“Are you excited?” Kun asked turning his attention toward Yuta but the older man didn’t seem to hear him at first. “Huh? Oh yeah, just... nervous,” Yuta replied airily. Kun nodded, he understood the feeling of nervousness all too well.

"Every time I see them, I'm just reminded of how much I fucked up during college," Johnny said softly as he stepped into Taeyong's bedroom, "and now this is just...it. I'm never gonna have another chance to get them back now."

“Tennie is absolutely amazing with Chenle so I can’t wait to see how he is with your baby,” Kun gushed. He was so excited their family was growing even more. Even if they weren’t all technically related, it sure felt like it with how close they had gotten over the years.

"I mean, I'm not gonna act like you didn't hurt them a lot. You and Yuta still don't have a relationship anymore because of what happened," Taeyong said bluntly, "but part of making things better is going to be not making it about you. Just...be there for them, especially when Yuta's sick or when the baby's here and they need to just take a nap. This doesn't get to be about you being sad; it's about them feeling like you support them."

Yuta forced a small smile. “Me too,” he said simply. Kun could tell the older man was distracted so he focused his attention on Ten, while still keeping an eye on Yuta. He sighed sadly as he watched the older man wrap his arms around himself and settle more fully into Ten’s lap.

“I know,” Johnny said sadly, stepping forward to wrap his best friend in a hug, “and that’s the hardest part. I wish I could be fully happy for them, but I can’t because I wish I was involved. And I could have been if I had gotten my head out of my ass. I just want to be able to talk to Yuta without him looking...scared of me.”

Yuta kept his eyes trained on the doorway and dropped his head onto Ten’s shoulder. Kun excused himself to try and gather the rowdy toddlers so they could eat. He heard whispering coming from their bedroom but he quickly ducked into Chenle’s room before he could make anything out.

“Here’s what you need to do, okay?” Taeyong said, ready to lay out an entire plan for Johnny. “You need to pull one of them aside and let them know that you’re willing to help them in any way that they need. Between Chenle and the new baby, Kunnie and I won’t be able to help them like Tennie helped us, so it’s on you now. Then you wait. Show them that you’re dependable, that you’re not going to run away again. After the baby’s born, once they’ve had time to settle into parenting, you can approach them and ask to talk, and if they say no then that’s that. You waited almost seven years to try and fix this, so waiting one more shouldn’t be that hard.” Johnny nodded. He didn’t like it, but he knew it was the best thing to do.

Despite Kun’s intentions, he had somehow managed to end up sitting in the middle of Chenle’s floor, while the two toddlers ran circles around him. It seemed like every time he mentioned dinner, the toddlers just took it as an excuse to grab more toys. With a sigh, Kun gave up in the hopes that the toddlers would run out the rest of their energy before they had to eat.

Johnny sighed and nodded. Taeyong was right. He had spent all this time wallowing and feeling bad for himself instead of manning up and apologizing. “You go talk to them,” Taeyong said gently, “I’m gonna rescue Kunnie from the kids.”

Johnny was nervous as he went to talk to Ten and Yuta. Even though he saw Ten on a fairly regular basis because of Chenle, it was still hard for him to really talk to the younger man. He hung back a little, eyeing the small crowd around Yuta anxiously.

Yuta picked his head up when Johnny reentered the room. He felt Ten's grip on his waist subconsciously tighten, but he didn't react. Instead, he quickly dropped his eyes to the floor and debated whether getting up to talk to Johnny was a good idea.

Johnny waited until the crowd had dispersed a little bit, called into the dining room for dinner. Soon, it was just the three of them left. “So, uh, congratulations,” Johnny said awkwardly, not quite able to look at Yuta or Ten.

Yuta finally pulled himself off of Ten's lap, but didn't stray far from his boyfriend's side. "Thanks, Johnny," he said softly. Ten kept quiet, but watched Johnny curiously, wondering what exactly the older man wanted; he knew it had to be something more than a simple congratulations.

“I just. Uh, I wanted to say. That. Well.” Johnny took a deep breath to sort himself out. “If you guys ever need anything, let me know. I know I’m not the first choice, obviously, but with Kun and Taeyong having another baby, I figured...I should...offer.” He trailed off awkwardly.

Yuta's eyes widened and he stared at Johnny. The last thing he expected was for the older man to offer to help them. Before he could even begin to formulate words, Ten had opened his mouth to answer. "We'll keep that in mind. Thank you for the offer; it means a lot," he said pleasantly. It was nice to know that Johnny offered to help them out, but Ten wasn't quite sure he was willing to let the older man back into their lives yet.

Johnny nodded awkwardly. He felt like he needed to say something else, but he wasn’t sure what.

"Come on, they're probably waiting for us," Ten said, breaking the silence. He didn't want to drag this conversation out any longer than it needed to be.

Johnny hung back for a moment, letting Ten and Yuta go ahead of him so he could collect himself. “John,” Yuta said, touching his arm lightly and making Johnny look up, “Thank you, really. It means a lot.”

Ten watched Johnny closely for a moment. He wrapped an arm around Yuta’s waist again and guided him into the other room so that they could eat. 

Johnny took a moment to collect himself before following them into the dining room. This certainly wasn’t going to be easy, but it would hopefully be worth it. 

Ten remained pleasant during dinner and ended up focusing most of his time on Chenle. The toddler was adorable and he missed babysitting for him. 

Johnny stayed quiet and left fairly early. It always hurt, having to see what he had lost, but he would never asked Taeyong and Kun to choose, especially when the obvious choice was not him. 

The moment Chenle was done eating, Ten scooped the toddler up and sat him on his lap. But he wanted absolutely nothing to do with that when he had Jeno to play with. After a bit of wiggling, he managed to sneak off of Ten’s lap and run back into his room with Jeno. “He got so big,” Ten said fondly. 

Taeyong shook his head fondly as he watched the boys scurry off. “I feel like I can barely even remember him being smaller,” he commented. 

Ten nodded. “I remember how quiet he was when you first got him. Now look at him. He’s gonna be chatting that baby’s ear off the moment he gets here,” he said with a laugh. 

“I feel like I’m not going to know what to do with the baby,” Taeyong said with a laugh, “we didn’t have Lele as a baby. What do you do with something so small?”

“I was hoping you would get that figured out and then let us know,” Ten said, “it can’t be that hard though.” He glanced at Sicheng and Taeil, hoping they would have some advice. 

Yuta groaned and leaned on Ten. He was feeling sore and nauseous and, as much as he loved their friends, he would also really love to go home and stop talking about babies.

Ten turned his full attention to Yuta when the older man leaned on him. “What’s wrong, babe?” he asked quietly, “not feeling good?” 

Yuta nodded. “I’m getting kinda nauseous,” he mumbled, “can we go soon?”

“Yeah. Let me just wrestle a hug from Chenle and we can go,” Ten replied. He gently helped Yuta sit up so he could stand and go find the toddler. 

Taeyong smiled at Yuta forlornly. “I promise it gets better,” he said, “I can send you some of my remedies if you want them.”

Ten poked his head into Chenle’s room and smiled fondly at the two toddlers playing. He couldn’t wait for this to be his and Yuta’s baby and Kun and Taeyong’s son in a few years. “Lele, do I get a hug goodbye?” he asked. The answer was yes, but he did have to chase the toddler around the room for it. After he got his hug, Ten went back to the dining room to say goodbye to the rest of their friends. 

“That would be great, Tae, thanks,” Yuta said. He got up and leaned over to hug his best friend. 

Ten was so grateful that Yuta had Taeyong. His boyfriend had already been through so much in these past few weeks and Taeyong was always there to help out whenever things got to be too much. 

“You’ll feel better soon, Yukkuri, I promise,” Taeyong said, hugging Yuta loosely, “and it’s all so, so worth it.”

Ten smiled sadly and barely recognized Kun hugging him. “Don’t beat yourself up too much,” Kun said. Ten nodded and hugged his best friend tightly before letting go to say goodbye to Taeil and Sicheng. 

Yuta nearly fell asleep in the car on the ride back to the apartment and pretty much collapsed into bed when they got home. He could hear Ten in the kitchen, clattering around as he took care of some chores. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

Ten’s schedule was both a blessing and a curse. Some weeks he would have a couple days off and other weeks he would be stuck working twelve hour days most of the week. Today was one of the days he had off and he spent most of it worrying about how Yuta was doing while his boyfriend was at work. 

Yuta had still not told his boss about his new...predicament. If anything, he was trying to keep it to himself as long as he possibly could. He didn’t want anyone to know. In fact, if Ten hadn’t seen him throwing up and gone with him to the appointment, he probably would have never told his boyfriend either and would have just taken care of it quietly. A baby was the last thing he wanted in his life right now, but Ten was so excited. He couldn’t just take that away from him.

Ten jumped up from the couch when he heard the front door unlock and open. “Hi, babe,” he greeted chipperly, “how was your day?” Things had been very touch and go lately and he never knew what kind of mood Yuta was going to come home in.

“Fine,” Yuta said shortly, “I’m gonna go take a shower. Wanna order Thai?”

“Oh, yeah sure. I’ll order it now so it’ll be here when you get out,” Ten said. Usually he would join Yuta in the shower, but he didn’t think his boyfriend would go for that today. 

Yuta didn’t want to spend any more time in the shower than he needed to, so he was in and out in a matter of minutes. He dressed in the frumpiest, most comfortable clothes he could find and curled up on the couch.

Ten sat down on the couch next to Yuta and rubbed his boyfriend’s back. “What do you need, babe?” he asked. He hoped Yuta started feeling better soon, he hated seeing the older man so uncomfortable. 

“A nap,” Yuta groaned, “a new job. I don’t know.” He shook Ten’s hands off, not really feeling the massage he was about to get.

Ten folded his hands in his lap. “A new job? Did something happen today?” he asked carefully. He didn’t want to set Yuta off, but he was concerned about his boyfriend, now more so than ever. 

“No, it’s just tiring,” Yuta said with a sigh, “the culture there is so toxic and I’m worried about telling my boss. I know he can’t fire me, but he can certainly make me want to quit.”

“Is it good for you to stay? I don’t want you anymore stressed than you already are,” Ten said gently, “you could stay a few more weeks and when it gets to be too much you can stay home and look for a new job after the baby’s born.”

Yuta shook his head. “We need the income,” he said, “I can’t just leave now, I already used up all my sick time and they won’t approve paternity leave this early.”

“The boys are going to be having a comeback soon so I’m going to be working a lot more these next couple months so we’ll be okay with income. And I can always call the studio and pick up a couple classes if need be,” Ten said, “I just don’t want you to push yourself and be unhappy.”

“No, Ten, I don’t want them to know yet,” Yuta said crossly, “I barely even want our friends to know, let alone my boss.”

“Okay, okay,” Ten surrendered. He stood up when the doorbell rang and brought their food and two pairs of chopsticks into the living room so they could eat. 

Yuta was glad when the food finally showed up, because it meant Ten would stop bothering him. He didn’t want to think about the stupid baby right now.

Ten ate his food in silence, not even knowing what to say to Yuta. They always used to laugh and joke with each other, but now all their time together was spent in silence out of the fear of starting an argument. He hoped everything went back to normal soon, especially with the baby on the way. 

Yuta was only able to eat about half of his food before he started feeling nauseous again. With a sigh, he stood up and trudged to the kitchen. “I’m going to bed,” he told Ten once he had put the food away.

“I’ll be in in a little bit,” Ten said airily. He put his own food containers on the coffee table and leaned back on the couch. He had to do something about this, and soon. 

Yuta climbed into bed and curled up with a sigh. He had no idea how Taeyong was so happy about doing this. It had already been two months and he already felt like he barely had any control over his own body.

Ten waited until long after he knew Yuta was asleep before going to bed. He hated avoiding his boyfriend, but he didn’t know what else to do. Maybe it would be best to wait until Yuta was having a good day to bring up any touchy topics. 

A few more weeks went by and Yuta wasn’t feeling much better. He tried to hide it though, for Ten’s sake. He knew his boyfriend was excited, so he did his best to seem excited as well.

Ten was not looking forward to talking to Yuta when he got home. He just found out that he couldn’t get the day of his boyfriend’s next appointment off. He had tried to bargain with his boss, but he got absolutely no where. He was disappointed to say the least and nervous about what was going to happen and who knew how Yuta was going to react. 

Yuta had managed to have an okay day at work. Only one of his coworkers had given him any grief for being lethargic, so he was in what he could count as a good mood when he got home. “Tennie, I brought dinner!” he called as he walked in.

“Thanks, babe. What’d you get?” Ten asked as he came over to the door to greet his boyfriend. He was grateful for his years of training as a performing dancer that taught him how to hide his nerves well. 

“KFC,” Yuta said, setting the bag on the counter, “I’ve been dying for fried chicken all day.”

Ten smiled happily. He opened his mouth to crack a joke but decided against it. “It smells really good,” he commented instead. 

Yuta bustled around, pulling out all the containers and grabbing them some plates and utensils. “How was your day?” he asked.

Ten sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Not the best, but not everyday isn’t gonna be a good one so it’s okay,” he said, “how was yours?”

“Actually pretty good,” Yuta said, “pretty much all of my active accounts are settling down so I should be able to start transferring them to someone else soon.”

Ten perked up at that. “Oh that’s great, babe,” he said supportively, “hopefully that’ll make everything less stressful for you.” He hated how awkward he sounded, but it seemed to be the norm for their relationship lately. 

“Yeah, I hope so,” Yuta said, “I still don’t know how to tell my boss though.”

“Wait until you’re ready, but give him enough time to make adjustments before you have to leave. I’m sure he’ll be understanding and if he’s not, I’ll march in there and give him a piece of my mind,” Ten said. 

“He won’t be,” Yuta said, “he’s a homophobic loser. Everyone in that office is.”

Ten sighed sadly. “You just let me know when you need me to go in there and kick his ass,” Ten said, rolling up his sleeves, “it might be best to wait then.”

“You’re like half his size, Tennie,” Yuta said with a small smile, “he’d pulverize you. I’d probably have to take Johnny instead.”

Ten narrowed his eyes. “I can protect you just fine on my own,” he said flatly. Johnny had been creeping back into their lives lately and Ten was not happy about it in the least. 

“I know you can, baby, but my boss would literally eat you for breakfast,” Yuta said, “at least Johnny’s taller than him. Although, actually, Yukhei would probably work too.” Yukhei was one of his juniors at the company, just as tall as Johnny, and had complimented the photo of him and Ten on his desk. 

“It would be better to take someone in the company who knows what your boss is like,” Ten said. It would be better to take anyone who wasn’t Johnny, but he wasn’t going to say that aloud.

“Yukhei can’t keep his mouth shut though,” Yuta mused, “the second I tell him, the whole office will know.”

“Well at least you wouldn’t have to worry about telling anyone,” Ten said, “although I don’t think that would be the best way for your boss to find out.”

“I don’t want anyone at the office to know,” Yuta said, “they already think I’m a freak.”

Ten sighed. “You really need to get out of that place, babe, for good. Leave it behind and start somewhere that’s gonna be supportive of you and your family. It’s just not worth it,” he said. 

“It’s good money and we’ve got a baby coming,” Yuta said, “plus, that’s the only way I have healthcare.”

Ten could argue about the money and argue that the stress wasn’t good for Yuta or the baby, but he couldn’t argue about having healthcare. “I just hate seeing you at this place,” he said quietly. 

“I’ll find somewhere else once I’m on leave, but I can’t afford to lose that insurance right now,” Yuta said, “no one’s going to hire me just for me to immediately go on leave.” 

Ten nodded. “I know, I know,” he mumbled, “just promise me you’ll leave as soon as you’re allowed to.”

“Of course,” Yuta said, “I’m not going to do anything that could hurt either of us.” Probably a lie, considering how stressed he already was, but oh well. Ten didn’t need to know that. 

Ten smiled at that. He leaned over and kissed Yuta gently. “I’ll be counting down the days,” he said.

Great. Just what Yuta needed. More pressure on top of all of this. “Let’s just eat,” he said, not wanting to ruin his good mood.

Ten’s smile slipped off his face. Well there went that. He might as well just tell Yuta about not being able to go to his next appointment now since everything was heading downhill. “I talked to my boss about getting the day off for your next appointment, but he wouldn’t give it to me. I’m gonna call Kun in the morning and see if he’d be able to go with you instead,” he said.

Yuta snorted. “Good luck with that,” he said, “if you think you’re gonna be able to separate him from Taeyong any time soon, you’re nuts.”

“Who else am I supposed to ask? All my coworkers are gonna have to be at work with me and you don’t talk to any of yours except Yukhei, but you don’t want him to know,” Ten said. 

“I mean, Johnny did offer to help,” Yuta said with a shrug. 

“No, absolutely not,” Ten said immediately, “I’m not calling him to help. He’s been MIA for how long and now all the sudden he wants to help? Not happening.”

“I can just go alone, Ten, it’s fine,” Yuta said. He understood why Ten was hostile towards Johnny, but after seven years, he’d rather just let it go. 

“But if something goes wrong, I don’t want you to be alone,” Ten said. He was running out of options and he didn’t know what to do. “Whatever you’re most comfortable with is fine with me,” he added.

Yuta wasn’t comfortable with any of it, but that was well beyond the point. “Whatever you want, I don’t care,” he said. 

Ten frowned. He hated the idea of Johnny being anywhere near Yuta, especially without him, but after what happened to Taeyong and Kun, he was overly cautious about Yuta going to appointments alone. “I’ll call Johnny,” he said reluctantly.

Yuta shrug, picking up a biscuit and shoving it in his mouth. “Whatever you wanna do,” he said again.

Ten just hummed. There was nothing more to say anyway. He turned his focus to his dinner and tried to mentally prepare what he was even going to say to Johnny.


	2. Chapter 2

Fortunately for Yuta, everyone was soon distracted by the long awaited excitement: the birth of Kun and Taeyong’s son. It kept everyone’s eyes and thoughts away from him, which was exactly what he wanted. 

Ten and Yuta weren’t able to go see Taeyong and Jisung while they were still in the hospital so they went to the apartment a few days later. They found themselves sitting around the living room. Chenle had squished himself between Yuta and Ten so he could keep a close eye on Jisung.

Taeyong smiled as he watched Ten and Yuta with the baby. Ten was particularly enamored. He had never seen something so small.

Ten eventually passed Jisung to Yuta, who still hadn’t been able to hold him. He couldn’t wait for their own baby to get here. “If you want any practice, you’re more than welcome to come over anytime,” Kun said, only half-joking.

Ten smiled slightly and looked up at his boyfriend. Yuta looked a little less thrilled. They'd been in a weird spot, between the rough start of his pregnancy and their recent proximity to Johnny. It had put a strain on them, but hopefully the baby would help solve that.

Kun didn't miss the nervousness written across Yuta's face. He knew everything had been rough for them the past couple of months and he felt bad that there wasn't more he could do. A few minutes later, he excused himself from the room and disappeared into the kitchen.

Yuta sighed softly and carefully ran his fingerpad down the bridge of Jisung’s nose. The baby was absolutely adorable, but he still couldn’t quite find that spark within himself. He had hoped that seeing an actual newborn would help, but apparently not. 

“He’s so adorable, Taeyong,” Ten gushed. He had barely been able to take his eyes off the baby since they got there and had been busy making faces at him.

Yuta carefully handed Jisung back to Ten. “You know he can’t see you, right?” he asked, amused. 

Ten pouted, and took Jisung back happily. “It doesn’t matter if he can see me or not yet, he already knows I’m his favorite uncle,” he said. 

“Uh, false,” Taeyong said, “I’m pretty sure Johnny’s already got a solid claim on that one. If he hasn’t, he will soon.”

Ten’s face fell at that. Who knows if he even still held that title with Chenle? “Don’t worry, Jisungie, we’ll fix that in no time,” he said quietly. He gently rubbed his finger against Jisung’s cheek and smiled when the baby turned his head towards it. 

“You’ll have your own kid to worry about soon,” Taeyong said, “you’ll barely have any time to be an uncle when you’re trying to figure out how to be a dad.”

Ten sighed and nodded. He was lucky that he had as much practice as he did with Chenle, but it did nothing to help with the baby. 

Yuta nearly shuddered. The idea of another human being completely dependent on him for survival was so anxiety-inducing, and it was already happening. 

Ten quickly got lost in playing with Jisung. Well, it really turned into him just studying the baby and trying to absorb everything he could while whispering to him. He didn’t even notice Kun come back into the room and sit down. 

Yuta watched Ten closely. The younger man was going to be a fantastic father. Him? Not so much. 

Ten caught Yuta looking at him out of the corner of his eye. “I can’t get over how cute he is. His little cheeks and nose and hands and just...he’s so adorable. I still can’t believe how small he is,” he rambled. He couldn’t wait until he was going to be able to hold his own baby.

“Tae, he looks so much like you,” Yuta said, looking up at his friend. 

Ten nodded in agreement. “He really does. Kunnie, what happened?” he asked teasingly. Kun just smiled and shrugged. “He got all the good genes. Hopefully he got his smarts from Tae too,” he said. 

“He hasn’t smiled yet, but when he yawns, you can kinda see that he’s got Kun’s dimples,” Taeyong said, flushing a bit. It was Jisung’s turn for the attention, not his. 

Ten smiled and turned back towards Jisung. “You got little dimples? Are you gonna show us or are you wide awake now?” he asked rhetorically. 

The baby gurgled at Ten, making Taeyong sigh fondly. Yuta, on the other hand, looked at the spit bubbling from the baby’s mouth with mild disgust. 

Ten’s smile widened. “I love chatting with you, but you’re gettin’ yourself all dirty, kid,” he said with a chuckle. He wiped the drool off of Jisung’s chin without so much as flinching. “All better!”

“You know I’m gonna be calling you to babysit all the time now,” Taeyong joked, “you played yourself, Tennie.”

“That’s alright. Lord knows I need the practice and a way to reclaim my title of favorite uncle. Isn’t that right, Jisungie? I gotta practice for when your little cousin gets here. And then you’re gonna have to show them the ropes,” Ten said. 

“Uncle J took Lele to class with him last week, so that’s what you’re competing with,” Taeyong said. Surprisingly, despite the fact that he had to stay quiet and somewhat out of the way, Chenle had loved going to college with Johnny. 

“I didn’t even know you could bring kids with you to class,” Ten commented, “no matter. We’ll figure something else out, won’t we Jisungie?” The last thing he was going to be found doing was competing with Johnny so if both boys latched onto him that was fine by Ten. That would keep Johnny plenty busy and out of his hair. 

“The rules are a little different when you’re in charge of class,” Taeyong said, “he has a student who occasionally has to bring her daughter to class, so it’s nothing new for him.”

Ten hummed in response. “I’m sure Jisungie would enjoy a trip to school too. Huh, baby? You’re nice and quiet and I bet everyone would just eat you up,” he said. Considering he would be back in the swing of work soon, he probably wouldn’t have much time to see the baby anyway. 

Yuta sunk back into the couch, leaning sideways and resting his head on Ten’s shoulder so he could still see the baby. Jisung was very cute and he had no doubt that the infant would be very loved. 

Ten tilted his shoulder so that Yuta was more comfortable. “Do you wanna hold him again?” he asked. 

“No, I just wanna watch,” Yuta said quietly, “I don’t want to move him around too much; he looks pretty tired.”

Ten hummed. “Yeah I think it’s nap time soon,” he said. A few moments later, Jisung yawned and snuggled a little closer to Ten. 

Yuta could tell the exact moment that Ten fell irrevocably in love with Jisung, when the baby cuddled into his chest. That did it. He could never tell Ten how he felt about having kids now.

“As much as I’d love to take you home with us, I don’t think your dads would be too happy with me,” Ten said. He smiled fondly and watched Jisung’s eyes slowly close. 

Taeyong easily accepted Jisung back into his arms and disappeared down the hall to put the baby in his bassinet. “You guys must be so happy,” Yuta said, turning his attention to Kun. 

Kun smiled. “We are. We’re just so happy he’s finally here. It felt like we were waiting forever from him to come and he’s just absolutely perfect,” he said. 

Yuta smiled. It made him happy to see how overjoyed Kun and Taeyong were to be parents. Maybe this wouldn't be so horrible after all. 

“It’s going to feel like forever until you get to meet your baby, but once you hold them for the first time, all the waiting will be worth it,” Kun promised. 

“I hope so,” Yuta said quietly. He could see himself loving the baby once they were here, but right now, all they were doing was ruining his plans. 

Kun smiled sadly. “I know, it’s really hard right now. And some days you’re just gonna have to take it one step at a time, but as long as you support each other,” he snuck a look at Ten, “everything’s going to be okay.”

Yuta bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from saying anything. He didn’t want a baby, but Ten did, and he would do anything for Ten, including ruining his body and his life. 

“And you have us,” Kun added gently, “you’re not doing this alone by any means.” He would hate to see Yuta try and handle everything on his own like Taeyong had done in the beginning. 

“Trust me, I know,” Yuta said, trying to not sound as sarcastic as he felt. 

Kun sighed sadly. This whole thing was really putting a strain on Yuta, and by extension Ten, and it was written on both of their faces. 

Yuta heard Kun sigh and immediately felt guilty. He and Taeyong had had so many struggles trying to grow their family and here Yuta was acting ungrateful. “I’m sorry, Kunnie, I’m just irritable today,” he said. 

“No, don’t apologize,” Kun said quickly, “I know everything’s been really hard on you and I just wish there was more we could do to help.”

Yuta shrugged, leaning more heavily on Ten. “I’ll be okay,” he said, “it’s just gonna be a rough few months.”

Kun nodded in understanding. He knew just how difficult the next few months would be and he hoped Yuta’s pregnancy went smoothly. Ten wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, hoping to offer some comfort. “We can get going whenever you’re ready,” he whispered. 

Yuta carefully removed himself from Ten’s grasp and returned to leaning on the back of his shoulder. He wanted to cling, not be clung to. “I’m okay for now,” he mumbled, “besides, we’ve been here for an hour and you haven’t gone to see Lele at all.”

Ten nodded. “Just let me know when you get tired,” he said. He looked up and met Kun’s sad gaze. “He should be waking up from his nap soon and I’m sure he’ll be very excited to see you,” Kun said. 

“How has he been doing with the baby?” Yuta asked, “any jealousy problems?”

“So far so good, knock on wood,” Kun replied, “he likes helping when we feed him so hopefully it stays that way.”

“He’s always had an unnatural enjoyment for chores,” Yuta commented, “I hope it stays that way for your sake.”

Kun chuckled. “Cooking and Jisung are the only things we can get him to do, but we’ll take it. He’s loved Jisung ever since he found out about him, and so far it’s staying that way,” he said. 

“That’s good to hear,” Yuta said, “Lele’s a good kid, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah he really is,” Kun said. As he said it, small footsteps came pattering down the hallway. Chenle had his bear tucked under his arm and was rubbing his eyes when he caught sight of Ten. He immediately woke up and went bounding over to him and Yuta. 

Yuta scooted to the side so Chenle could climb up between him and Ten and settle in comfortably. “How was your nap, Lele?” he asked.

“Good!” Chenle replied chipperly. He grabbed onto Ten’s shirt and pouted when he realized he couldn’t hold onto his bear and Yuta at the same time. “Wanna play,” he said, looking up at Yuta with big eyes. 

“How about you let me hold onto your bear while you go grab your cars so you and Tennie can play?” Yuta suggested, holding his hands out for the toy.

Chenle pouted more and held his bear a little closer. “Wanna play with you,” he said. 

Yuta exaggerated a pout. “I can’t play with you today, Lele, I’m sick,” he said sadly.

Chenle immediately dropped his bear in Ten’s lap so he could crawl into Yuta’s. “Lele hug you better,” he said as he clung onto the older man tightly. 

“Oh, thank you, Lele,” Yuta said, hugging the boy loosely so he didn’t squish his belly too much.

Chenle snuggled as close as he could. “All better?” he asked, craning his neck to try and see Yuta. 

“Oh, I don’t know, I might need some more snuggles,” Yuta said, acting contemplative.

Chenle leaned his head against Yuta again and put all of his focus into the hug. Across the room, Kun was smiling fondly. Chenle always seemed to know who needed a big hug. 

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be playing with Tennie?” Yuta asked, “I need a really long hug to feel better.”

“Feel better,” Chenle said matter of factly. He didn’t know how long a really long hug was for, but it sounded good to him. “Just a few more minutes, Lele. You gotta give Yuta a break,” Kun said. 

“He’s okay, I don’t mind,” Yuta said, “Tennie might get jealous though; you know he came over here just to see you, Lele.”

Chenle picked up his head to look up at Ten with big eyes. “Came to see me?” he asked.

“Yeah, Tennie missed you a lot the last couple days,” Yuta said with an exaggerated nod. Not that he didn’t want to spend time with Chenle, but the boy was heavy and he could only take so much.

“Come on, Lele,” Ten said, pushing himself off of the couch so he could sit on the floor, “Yuta can hold your bear while we play with cars.” He put the stuffed animal on the couch next to his boyfriend. Chenle clambered off of Yuta’s lap and made a mad dash for his room. 

Yuta set the bear on his lap, hugging it loosely and relaxing into the couch. It was oddly comforting somehow. 

Chenle was back in a flash and soon distracted himself playing with Ten. Ten missed the time he had with the toddler so he tried to make the most of it before they had to leave. 

Eventually, Taeyong wandered back into the room and sat down next to Yuta, leaning on his best friend’s shoulder. “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly, “you seem bothered by something.” Yuta sighed. “It’s really nothing,” he said.

Ten tried his best to tune out Yuta and Taeyong’s whispering. He wanted his boyfriend to be able to have some time with his best friend. 

“Yuta,” Taeyong said disapprovingly, “you know you can’t keep anything from me.” Yuta sighed. “I’m just tired and sore all the time,” he said, “it sucks.”

Ten frowned at that. He knew there was next to nothing he could do, but he still felt so guilty. Chenle must have noticed that he was distracted because suddenly a tiny hand was tapping him on the shoulder. 

“I wish I could tell you it goes away but it really doesn’t,” Taeyong said with a sigh, “and I know some people have really miserable pregnancies, but I promise the baby is so worth it, Yuta.”

“Lele, are you excited for another baby in the family?” Ten asked. “Yes, yes!” came the immediate response. Ten chuckled fondly, Chenle was always so excited about everything. 

“I know,” Yuta said softly, “I’m just worried I’m gonna mess this kid up, Yongie.”

Chenle accidentally sent his car sailing under the couch, which meant Ten was on car rescue duty. He did his best to ignore Kun’s jabs that his arms were too short and had to refrain from sticking his tongue out at his friend. 

“Just look at how amazing you are with Lele,” Taeyong said, “you are the last person that’s gonna fuck their kid up. Trust me, I know a thing or two about it.”

Ten snagged the car and sent it sailing through the living room for Chenle to chase. He made a face at Kun and leaned back against the couch.

“Yeah, but that’s not my kid,” Yuta said, “if I mess up, it’s not permanent.”

Chenle chased after the car and shouted victoriously when he snagged it. He raced across the living room as fast as he could and right into Ten’s lap.

“And that’s what you have Ten for,” Taeyong said, “do you know how many times Kun and I have had to fix each other’s messes with Lele? It’s a daily thing! Messing up is just part of parenthood.”

Ten set Chenle back on his feet and sent the boy back off to play. “Tae’s right,” Kun piped up, “it’s something new everyday. And things aren’t always gonna go perfectly and that’s okay.” He reached down and squeezed Ten’s shoulder supportively.

“I’m just nervous,” Yuta said with a shrug, “kids weren’t really in the plan yet. It’s nerve wracking.”

Kun smiled sympathetically. “It’s really hard when you’re suddenly thrown into it,” he said, “but everything works out how it’s supposed to. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you’re both gonna be great parents. You just gotta find your rhythm.”

“And what if I don’t find that rhythm?” Yuta asked, chewing on his lip, “what happens then?”

“You trust Ten to help you,” Kun said, “you’ll always have each other to lean on no matter what happens. And you have us too if you really get stuck.” He was hesitant to bring up Johnny, not really sure where the older man stood at the moment.

Yuta nodded slowly. He just really, really didn’t want to fuck this up, for Ten’s sake and for the baby’s sake. His own lack of desire shouldn’t negatively affect the poor child.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can and that’s what matters,” Kun said, “and don’t try to handle things alone. It’s just gonna hurt the both of you.”

“Thanks, guys,” Yuta said quietly, “Tennie, I’m ready to go whenever you manage to get away from Chenle.”

“Alright, kiddo, one more race and then we gotta go,” Ten said. He was met with a pout and a string of “no’s” but he was eventually able to pass the cars over to Kun so they could say goodbye. 

Surprisingly, Yuta and Ten were able to make it out fairly unscathed and head down to the car. “Thanks for staying extra,” Yuta said quietly as they started driving, “talking to Taeyong really helped me a lot.”

Ten smiled softly. “I’m glad. If you ever want to talk to him alone, I’m sure I could drag Kun out for a cup of coffee or to take Chenle somewhere to play,” he said. 

“Thanks, babe,” Yuta said, “that means a lot.” He knew he was the reason things had been rough lately, because he’d been so stuck in his own head.

Ten reached over and took Yuta’s hand in his own. “I promise I’m always gonna do the best I can for you. And like Kun said, we have each other and it’s okay to lean on each other when it gets too hard to stand,” he said. He didn’t get serious very often, but he knew this was important. 

“I love you,” Yuta said with a soft sigh, “and I’m sorry I’ve been so absent lately. This whole baby thing is really scary for me.”

“I love you too,” Ten said immediately, “and I’ll never fully understand how hard this is on you, but I can try to as long as you tell me what’s going on. I know not everyday is gonna be a good day, but I’m still gonna do my best to make sure you’re happy.”

“I know and I’m so appreciative of that,” Yuta said, “you’re really so amazing, Tennie.” 

Ten felt his cheeks heat up. “You deserve someone who’s gonna take proper care of you,” he said. 

“So do you, and I’m sorry I haven’t been that person lately,” Yuta said, looking down at his lap.

“Hey, don’t apologize for that. You’re doing the best you can for us right now and that’s all I can ask for,” Ten said, “you gotta focus on yourself right now.”

“I think I’m gonna talk to Yukhei about helping me tell the boss this week,” Yuta said, looking up again, “I’m not gonna be able to hide it much longer, so there’s no point in keeping it a secret.”

Ten gave Yuta’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Let me know how everything goes. And I’m serious about you telling me if he gives you a problem,” he said. 

“I will,” Yuta promised, “I’m going to request to go on leave once I hit the third trimester. If everything goes well, maybe we can take Yukhei out to dinner or something.”

“Good,” Ten said with a nod, “that would be nice. I’d love to meet him.”

“He’s a great guy,” Yuta said, “just really young and energetic. I can’t really keep up with him sometimes.”

“Maybe he’d be willing to help you out around the office. That could help keep him out of your hair and make your workload lighter,” Ten suggested.

“Oh, I’m sure he would, but I doubt the boss would let him,” Yuta said with a shrug, “but it’s only like two more months, so I’m sure I’ll make it.”

Ten sighed as he pulled into the driveway of their apartment. “It feels like everything’s moving so fast and so slow at the same time,” he said. 

“It’s already the middle of February,” Yuta reminded him, “the baby will be here in August. I might even be able to find out the sex at the next appointment if you want me to.”

“I’d love to know,” Ten said, “it would make thinking of names easier, but it might make the wait harder. Would you want to know?”

“I don’t think it matters to me,” Yuta said, “you know I like more gender neutral names anyway. Plus, Johnny will be there, right? Are you really comfortable with him knowing before you?”

Ten frowned. “Well the doctor could always write in on a piece of paper or something and seal it in an envelope and we can open it together later,” he said. 

“What, like a gender reveal?” Yuta asked, intrigued. Even though he personally thought the premise of gender reveals was outdated and heterosexist, the idea of having a small party to celebrate the baby but not focused on Yuta himself was kind of nice. “Someone would still have to know to plan it.”

“Uh, I was thinking it would just be the two of us, but we could do a little baby shower and gender reveal with everyone if you want,” Ten said. A party wasn’t a horrible idea, but who would plan it was the question. 

“No, no baby shower,” Yuta said, “I don’t want the attention to be on me. Just on the baby. If people want to give us things, they can give them to you, quietly, at the reveal.”

“Alright, alright,” Ten agreed, “no baby shower and no gifts unless people want to. We could probably plan most of it ourselves though. I’ll just have to ask Kun to put together whatever we want to do for the actual reveal.”

“Not that I want Johnny around any more than necessary, but Kun’s going to be pretty busy,” Yuta said, “we can figure it out more once we actually have the appointment. I’ll be talking to Yukhei and hopefully the boss on Monday, so we’ll see after that.”

“Yeah, we’ll wait ‘til you tell your boss,” Ten said, “you know, we haven’t really had a date night in a while. We haven’t even had a date night home in forever.”

“We could make dinner with Yukhei into a double date,” Yuta suggested, “guy like him, there’s no way he doesn’t have a girlfriend.” He wasn’t sure about having a date with just Ten; things had been so painfully awkward lately.

“Yeah, we could do that,” Ten said airily. He felt like he had barely gotten to spend quality time with his boyfriend the past few months and it looked like that wasn’t going to be changing anytime soon. 

“Thanks, baby,” Yuta said, leaning over and kissing Ten’s cheek before getting out of the car. On Monday, he waited until lunchtime before getting up from his desk and asking Yukhei if he wanted to join him for lunch. As they walked down the street to the sub shop, he tried to think of the best way to present all of this to his coworker.


	3. Chapter 3

Yukhei kept his steps small so he didn’t get too far ahead of Yuta. He didn’t usually leave the office for lunch so it was a nice change of pace. “I hate that it’s so cold,” he complained, crossing his arms across his chest, “maybe we can do this more when it gets warmer, but not now.”

Yuta rolled his eyes. “You’re still a young kid; how do you think I feel?” he asked rhetorically. He opened the door to the restaurant, letting Yukhei lead the way inside and grab them a table.

“Oh, come on, you aren’t  _ that  _ much older than me,” Yukhei said as he took a seat. He knew he should have worn his jacket, but he didn’t think it would be that bad out. 

They both ordered and Yuta sighed, playing with the wrapper from his straw before looking back up at Yukhei. “I need to ask you for help with something,” he said finally.

“My help?” Yukhei asked, eyebrows raising, “uh, yeah, what do you need?”

“You know Ten? My boyfriend?” Yuta asked, “or well, you know about him, yes?”

“Yeah…” Yukhei said slowly, “is everything okay with you two?” He had to admit he was a little nervous where this was going.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Yuta said, “never been better. The thing is, Ten’s kinda...small. Short. Not at all intimidating. And so am I. AndImaybeneedtohaveanotsogoodconversationwiththebossandIneedyourhelp.”

Yukhei just stared at Yuta. “Uh, do you think you could say that all a little bit slower?” he asked sheepishly. 

“I need to talk to the boss about something and it’s not going to go well and I’d really appreciate it if you could come with me to kind of intimidate him into not being a dick,” Yuta said, flushing bright red and refusing to look at Yukhei.

“Oh, yeah I can come with you,” Yukhei agreed easily, “but what exactly is it you have to talk to him about?”

“You cannot tell  _ anyone _ about this, okay?” Yuta said sternly. Once Yukhei nodded, he took a deep breath and dropped the bomb. “I’m pregnant,” he said finally. It was the first time he had ever said it out loud.

Yukhei’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. His lips pulled into a wide smile and it took everything he had not to jump across the table and hug Yuta. “No way, man, that’s awesome!” he said excitedly, “when are you, ya know, when’s the baby coming?”

“August,” Yuta said, “so I need to request paternity leave now. But I’m serious, Yukhei, I don’t want anyone in the office to know. I’m probably not coming back after my leave and I don’t want my last few months here to be any more miserable than they already will be.”

Yukhei nodded vigorously. “I won’t tell a soul,” he promised, drawing an “x” over his heart with his finger, “but you have to tell me  _ everything.”  _ He put his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands, completely intrigued. 

“How about you help me this afternoon and if it goes well, Ten and I will take you to dinner and tell you everything then,” Yuta suggested. He really didn’t want to talk about it any more today. 

“Deal!” Yukhei agreed. The waiter brought over their food and Yukhei was soon completely absorbed in eating. 

When they made it back to the office, Yuta was more nervous than ever. He waited until it was almost the end of the workday before signaling to Yukhei and standing up from his desk. That way, if this didn’t go well, he could just go home after. With shaky hands, he knocked on the office door and entered when told. 

Yukhei stayed close to Yuta’s side. He drew himself up to his full height and did his best to keep his face emotionless. 

“Nakamoto, Wong, what’s all this?” the boss asked when the two stepped inside. “I need to request paternity leave,” Yuta said, trying to sound as confident as he could. “And Wong is here because?” “He...agreed to take over any open accounts I have when I leave,” Yuta said quickly. They hadn’t really discussed that part, but he’s sure it would have happened anyway.

Yukhei was a little taken aback and he did his best not to look surprised. Hopefully their boss would be reasonable and understanding today. 

“You haven’t mentioned anything about a girlfriend being pregnant,” the boss said dubiously, leaning forward in his chair. Yuta gritted his teeth. “The pregnant one is me,” he admitted slowly, “and I plan on leaving around the end of May.”

Yukhei took a small step forward, not really sure what he could do to help. He held his breath, not sure how their boss was going to react. 

The boss gave Yukhei a onceover, clearly disinterested. “Your accounts must be closed or transferred by May 31,” he finally said, “file the paperwork with HR.”

Yukhei relaxed considerably when their boss agreed without a fuss. He nodded his thanks and followed Yuta out of the office. “That went well,” he said when the door closed. 

“Thank god,” Yuta said, “I was really worried it wouldn’t. Thanks, Yukhei.” He headed back to his desk to fill out the paperwork.

“Oh, um, yeah, no problem,” Yukhei said. He followed behind Yuta. “Uh, how many accounts were you planning on transferring to me?” he asked slowly. 

“Probably five,” Yuta said, “no more than ten for sure. I’m sorry for dropping that on you; I couldn’t exactly tell the boss you were there to intimidate him.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Yukhei said quickly. He wasn’t quite sure how he was gonna adjust for the extra workload but he would figure it out. “If you don’t need anything else, I’m gonna head back to my desk.”

“Does Thursday work for you for dinner?” Yuta asked, “That’s Ten’s only night off this week.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. My boyfriend is free most nights so he should be fine,” Yukhei said. He paused. “Oh, is it even okay if he comes? No big deal if not,” he added quickly.

“Oh yeah, of course,” Yuta said, “it can be a nice little double date.” Well. That certainly explained some things.

Yukhei smiled widely. “A double date, that’s gonna be so fun,” he said happily, “I can’t wait to meet Ten. From everything you said, he sounds like a really great guy.”

“He really is,” Yuta said happily, “we’ve been together since I was in grad school.”

“That’s so cute,” Yukhei said. He glanced toward their boss’ office. “I’m gonna head back to work before the boss docks me for being away from my desk too long, but I’ll see ya later.”

“Yes, I’ll see you Thursday. Thanks, Yukhei!” Yuta sat down at his desk and pulled up the leave application paperwork, feeling a lot better already. When Thursday rolled around, he was barely able to focus. He had never really had friends outside of Taeyong and Johnny, and never work friends, and certainly never  _ queer  _ work friends. It was exciting to be going out with Yukhei and his boyfriend. The two of them would be taxiing down to the restaurant and meeting Ten and the other man there. 

Yukhei was buzzing with excitement. He hadn’t been on a double date before and he was really looking forward to it. When they were about five minutes away, Yukhei got a text from his boyfriend that he was in front of the restaurant waiting for them. “Oh just a little heads up, my boyfriend is kinda shy and quiet. He’s really sweet though and I’m sure you’ll get along with him,” he said. 

“I’m sure he’s great,” Yuta said, “Ten said he’s going to be a few minutes late; his train is running behind so we can sit without him.”

“Alright,” Yukhei said with a nod. When they arrived at the restaurant he climbed out of the cab and waited for Yuta. It didn’t take more than a few seconds to find his boyfriend and he waved wildly. “There’s my boyfriend,” he said, pointing towards the door. 

Yuta did a double take when he saw who Yukhei’s boyfriend was. There popped up another person he didn’t realize was gay. “You’re dating Jungwoo?” he asked incredulously.

Yukhei looked at Yuta with raised eyebrows. “H-How do you know Jungwoo?” he asked. His boyfriend had never mentioned knowing Yuta before. 

“He’s one of the nurses at my obstetrician’s office,” Yuta said, a little blankly. What a small world. Jungwoo gave them a small wave and all but bounced over to them.

Oh, well that made sense. “Hi, baby,” Yukhei greeted, wrapping an arm around Jungwoo and giving him a small kiss, “this is Yuta, but I guess you two already know each other.”

“When Yukhei said one of his coworkers was going to have a baby, I had my suspicions,” Jungwoo said, “it’s great to see you. How are you feeling?” “I’m doing pretty good, actually,” Yuta said with a smile, “anyway, Ten won’t be here for another fifteen minutes or so, so why don’t we head inside and grab a table?”

Yukhei smiled sheepishly. He knew Yuta didn’t want him to tell anyone, but he couldn’t help telling Jungwoo. He held the door open and followed the two older men into the restaurant and to a table. 

Yuta was glad that they were able to sit quickly. He sent a text to Ten to let him know where in the restaurant they were sitting before putting his phone in his jacket and turning back to Jungwoo and Yukhei.

Yukhei sat next to Jungwoo and took his boyfriend’s hand in his own. “I was so excited to introduce you to each other,” he said, “does that mean you already know Ten too?”

“No, I wasn’t working when Yuta has his first appointment and Ten was travelling for the last one,” Jungwoo said, shaking his head, “maybe I’ll meet him at the next one?” Yuta shook his head. “His boss won’t give him the day off,” he explained.

“Really? Wow that’s horrible. And I thought our boss was bad,” Yukhei said. He hoped his boss didn’t do that to him when he and Jungwoo decided to have kids. 

“It’s not that bad,” Yuta said, “his schedule is very on and off. He has some periods where he doesn’t work for weeks and some where he’s working sixteen hours a day, seven days a week.”

“Whoa, that’s a lot. What does he do?” Yukhei asked. He couldn’t imagine having that inconsistent of a work schedule. 

“He choreographs for a couple of idol groups,” Yuta said, “so he’s working before and during comebacks and during tours, but he gets time off when they’re not doing any promoting.”

Yukhei’s eyes widened in wonder. “That’s  _ so  _ awesome!” he said. Not long after that, Ten finally arrived. “I’m so sorry I’m late. Of all days for the train to be behind,” he said as he approached the table. He gave Yuta a swift kiss on the temple before taking his own seat. “Hi, I’m Ten. It’s nice to finally meet you,” he said politely.

Yukhei and Jungwoo introduced themselves and they all finally ordered some drinks and appetizers. “How was work?” Yuta asked once the waiter had left them.

Ten sighed sadly. “Not great, but it’s over now,” he said. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” Yukhei asked curiously. “My boss loved the choreography I made when I performed it for him a few weeks ago, but now that the boys are starting to practice it, he wants to change almost the whole thing,” Ten replied. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Yuta said, sneaking his hand into Ten’s under the table, “I know how hard you worked on this routine.”

Ten smiled softly. “It’s alright. It’s part of the job,” he said simply, “so what did I miss?” He glanced between the men hoping the conversation wouldn’t stay on him for much longer.

“Really nothing,” Yuta said, “you, actually. I was just telling Yukhei and Jungwoo about your job and your boys.”

“It’s a lot of fun honestly and most of the kids are really great, but no matter what you do you’re gonna have good days and bad days,” Ten said. He turned his attention to Jungwoo. “But enough about me. What do you do for work?”

“Oh, I’m actually one of Yuta’s obstetrics nurses,” Jungwoo said with a smile, “although I didn’t realize he worked with Xuxi until half an hour ago.”

“You two already knew each other? That’s so funny,” Ten said, “I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to meet you sooner then.”

“I’m sure I’ll be seeing plenty of you in the future,” Jungwoo said easily. All of Yukhei’s other friends were Chinese, so he was more than happy to meet some friends that actually spoke fluent Korean, even if it still wasn’t their first language.

“Yes, definitely, I’m not gonna miss anymore appointments,” Ten promised. It was more a promise to Yuta than Jungwoo, but it worked regardless. 

“Except the next one,” Yuta said. He wasn’t particularly upset that Ten wouldn’t be there. If anything, he’d rather Johnny than Ten, because he knew that if he looked miserable, Johnny at least wouldn’t ask.

“Right,” Ten said quietly. It dawned on him that they might be able to ask Yukhei and Jungwoo to help them plan the reveal instead of Johnny.

“You’ll be able to find out the gender this time, right?” Jungwoo asked, leaning forward a little. He had taken the obstetrics job for one reason and one reason only: his sheer, unadulterated, unmatched love of babies. The office was both an obstetricians and an early pediatrics office, so it was all babies, all the time.

Ten nodded quickly. “Yeah, we’re gonna. We were thinking of doing a little reveal too,” he said. 

“Oh, that’s so cute!” Jungwoo said, “I’ll make sure we keep it a secret for you then.”

“Thank you,” Ten said, “we still need to figure out what exactly we want to do and, uh, actually need someone to help put it together.”

“If you don’t manage to find someone, I’d be more than willing to help!” Jungwoo said excitedly, “Xuxi’s friend Dejun is an event planner and I help him out on weekends, so you’ll be in good hands.”

“That would actually be amazing,” Ten said happily, “our friends that we would usually ask just had a baby so they’re really busy right now.”

“Oh my god, it’s going to be great,” Jungwoo said, “I’ll give you guys my number before we leave so we can plan a date and whatnot.” 

“Thank you so much. That’s actually a huge weight off,” Ten said, “it’s not gonna be anything too big or fancy so you won’t have to drive yourself crazy,” he said. 

Jungwoo was about to say something else when he was distracted by their appetizers arriving. Yuta was a little grateful. The nurse was sweet, but he was so tired of baby talk.

Ten regretfully let go of Yuta’s hand so they could eat. “Oh, Yukhei, I wanted to say thank you for going with Yuta to talk to your boss. I really appreciate it,” he said. Yukhei nodded quickly. “I didn’t really do anything, but I’m happy to help,” he replied, “our boss can be a real dick sometimes.”

“Two more months and then I’m out of there for good,” Yuta said, “and with fewer accounts to shove on you than originally predicted, actually.”

Yukhei’s eyes widened slightly. “Are you not planning on coming back at all?” he asked slowly.

“I don’t think so,” Yuta said, “it’s a really toxic place to work, especially when it comes to dealing with family. I’m going to take advantage of as much leave as I can until Ten and I can work something else out for my healthcare, then I’m out of there.”

Yukhei nodded in understanding. “I don’t blame you at all. Good on you for looking out for your family,” he said. He was a little sad that Yuta wouldn’t be coming back, but it was better for the older man.

“I know I could theoretically get hired somewhere else now, but the insurance stuff is so complicated to move around,” Yuta said with a sigh, “the baby can easily go on Ten’s once they’re here, but they’re technically on mine now, so I have to wait it out.”

Yukhei smiled sympathetically. “It seems like you have a decent plan so I’m sure everything will work out for you,” he said. 

Yuta nodded and cleared his napkin out of the way as their entrees arrived. He was definitely going to miss being able to go out like this once the baby was here. Speaking of which, he and Ten should probably offer to babysit soon so Kun and Taeyong could have a date night.

The conversation flowed naturally throughout dinner and Ten couldn’t help but marvel at how different Yukhei and Jungwoo were. The younger of the two was so loud and boisterous while the elder was so gentle and soft spoken. They really complimented each other nicely. 

It was actually really nice spending the night out with Yukhei and Jungwoo. Not only were they both so nice, but they fit each other very well and it was definitely nice to make more friends. By the time they had finished eating and had paid their bill, Yuta was a little sad to have to part ways.

“That was really nice. And both of them are really sweet. I see what you mean about having a hard time keeping up with Yukhei though,” Ten said once they were on their way home. 

“He’s so energetic,” Yuta agreed, “I’m glad you had fun though. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to go out like that.”

“Yeah, I miss doing stuff like this, especially since Kun and Taeyong are so busy now,” Ten said, “did you enjoy your night?”

“I really did,” Yuta said, “Jungwoo’s really sweet. He’s good for Yukhei.”

Ten smiled softly. “He is. I think he helps keep him grounded. Although I’m really not sure how he does it,” he said. 

They reached their apartment complex and Yuta made sure to hold tight to Ten’s hand as they headed upstairs. He was feeling affectionate tonight.

They headed upstairs and Ten unlocked the door and pushed it open for them. “I’m gonna go take a shower and then I’m all yours,” he said. He wasn’t exactly sure how he was gonna make up for being late yet, but he could figure that out later. 

“Or,” Yuta said slowly, “I could shower with you so you don’t have to wait for me after.”

Ten stared at Yuta for a moment. His boyfriend hadn’t initiated something like this in a while and he was a little surprised. “I like the sound of that,” he said after a minute, already pulling Yuta down the hall. 

Yuta laughed a little as he stumbled down the hallway. “Slow down, Tennie,” he said, “I’m right here. We have all night.”

“I mean yeah, but I missed you,” Ten said with a pout. He pulled Yuta into the bathroom and was careful not to slam the door closed. 

“I missed you too,” Yuta said with a sigh, “and I’m sorry I’ve been so emotionally unavailable lately. The transition has been rough.”

“Don’t apologize, babe,” Ten said softly. He took a step towards Yuta and held both of his boyfriend’s hands tightly. “I know everything’s been happening really fast and none of this was planned so it’s scary. I’ll never understand how hard it is, but I’m always gonna be here for you.” He leaned forward to kiss his boyfriend gently.

Yuta sighed into the kiss, opening his mouth to deepen it. “I love you,” he said when they finally pulled away from each other.

“I love you too,” Ten said sincerely, “now…where were we?” He gave Yuta a mischievous look before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and pulling him close. 

Yuta let his arms rest on Ten’s shoulders, hands linked behind his head. “I believe we need to be undressed to take a shower,” he pointed out. 

Ten hummed. “Yeah, but I want to take advantage of you feeling good,” he said. He leaned forward to kiss Yuta again while his fingers played with the hem of his boyfriend’s shirt.

“I can promise you, I’ll feel even better when we’re in the shower,” Yuta said. Even so, he didn’t make any move to undress himself or Ten.

“We’ll get there,” Ten promised. He kissed his boyfriend gently, hands resting on his waist. Any other day he would have ripped both of their clothes off by now, but he wasn’t sure what exactly Yuta was okay with right now. 

Yuta kissed Ten happily. He was perfectly content with letting his boyfriend take the reins on this one.

Ten pulled away so he could turn the water on and give it time to warm up. He went to take his own shirt off and paused when he realized Yuta’s arms were still in the way. “You gonna let me go or?” he asked. 

Yuta sighed exaggeratedly. “I guess so,” he said dramatically, retracting his arms so Ten could pull off his shirt. 

Ten rolled his eyes and peeled his shirt off. “You know this isn’t gonna work very well if you keep your clothes on,” he said. He reached down to unbutton his pants. 

“Oh, but you seem so good at taking charge of this whole thing,” Yuta teased, but reached for the hem of his shirt all the same.

“I mean, I could take charge of everything,” Ten said lowly. He pushed his pants and boxers off in one fluid movement and stepped towards the shower. “But more importantly, we’re wasting a lot of hot water.”

Yuta played with the hem of his shirt, uncertain. Was it that bad that he wanted Ten to take care of him a little bit? Maybe he was just being dramatic about this whole thing. It was just a shirt, after all.

Ten tilted his head and walked back over to Yuta. “What’s wrong, babe?” he asked. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist gently. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to, I just…” Yuta’s voice trailed off. He didn’t know how to tell Ten that he just wanted to feel like his boyfriend still wanted him. Not that he thought Ten didn’t, but he was feeling a little insecure now that he was starting to show a little bit. Yuta didn’t have problems with his weight or his appearance, per say, but the last few months had been so emotional that he needed a little reassurance.

“Wanna take it a little slower than usual?” Ten supplied. He gently pulled Yuta a little closer.

“I want to feel good about myself,” Yuta mumbled shyly, “I don’t own my body anymore and it’s...it’s hard, Ten.”

Ten nodded. “I love you so much and I promise I’m gonna prove it. Nothing crazy. Nothing wild. Just me and you and a nice hot shower,” he said. He leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend sweetly. 

Yuta all but melted into the kiss. After having isolated himself from Ten for so long, it was so nice to be in his boyfriend’s arms again.

Ten kissed Yuta slowly, but still passionately. They hadn’t done anything like this in so long and it was so nice to be able to just enjoy each other. He unwrapped his arms from around his boyfriend and rested his hands gently on his waist.

“We’re wasting hot water,” Yuta whispered as he pulled away from Ten, arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s neck.

“Oh, now we’re worried about the water?” Ten teased, “come on, let’s get your clothes off or we’re not gonna be able to get in.” He grabbed the hem of his boyfriend’s shirt and slowly pushed it up his torso.

Yuta lifted his arms, letting Ten pull his shirt off over his head. He caught it around one hand and made sure it made it into the laundry basket before turning back to his boyfriend.

Ten hummed appreciatively before turning his attention to his boyfriend’s pants. Luckily, he was pretty efficient at multitasking so he leaned forward to kiss Yuta again while he worked on pushing his pants and boxers off of his hips and to the floor.

Yuta let the rest of his clothes fall to the ground and stepped out of them, kicking them to the side while he kissed Ten back. It was almost weird being naked with Ten; they hadn’t done anything nearly this nude since his birthday, and it was nearly Ten’s birthday now.

Ten kissed his boyfriend back for a moment before regretfully pulling away. He took Yuta’s hand in his own and guided his boyfriend to the shower. “Ready?” he asked as he stepped in. 

Yuta hummed and followed his boyfriend, carefully stepping into the shower and pulling the door closed. He sighed happily as the hot water hit the back of his shoulders. 

Ten rest his hands on Yuta’s waist and pressed gently kissed across his jaw and down his throat. “You’re so tense, babe,” he murmured.

“I’ve been stressed,” Yuta said by way of explanation. He could feel himself relaxing the longer he spent under the water with Ten.

Ten sighed sadly. He rubbed his hands up and down Yuta’s sides and continued gently kissing him, all the way down to his collarbones. 

Yuta let his hands settle on Ten’s waist. “I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you more,” Ten replied. He nosed his way up to Yuta’s mouth and kissed him again before he could argue. 

Yuta was about to protest, but Ten kissed him again and, well, that seemed like a much better course of action. He kissed Ten back, looping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck again. 

Ten was usually much more frisky when they showered together, but today was so different. He kissed Yuta with the same passion he had when they first got together. One hand wrapped around his boyfriend’s back to pull him closer. 

Yuta finally put a hand up to Ten’s chest, pulling himself away from his boyfriend. “I don’t want to... _ do _ anything,” he said unsurely.

“We don’t have to,” Ten said soothingly. He reached for the bottle of shampoo instead. 

Yuta sighed, relieved. He wouldn’t have said no if Ten had insisted, but he wouldn’t have particularly enjoyed it either. 

“I would never do anything that made you unhappy,” Ten said. He squeezed some shampoo into his hands and began working it into his boyfriend’s scalp. 

“I know,” Yuta said quietly.  _ You already did _ .

Ten hummed and focused his attention completely on his boyfriend. He wanted to cherish him and show him just how much he loved him. And that was what he did. He was methodical, slow, careful as he washed his boyfriend’s hair and body, occasionally stealing a small kiss here and there. 

Yuta felt himself slowly relaxing as Ten washed his hair and massaged his skin. It felt nice to have his boyfriend touching him again.

Ten slowly guided Yuta to turn around. He massaged his boyfriend’s shoulders, slowly but surely working out the tension and knots. When he was satisfied, he wrapped around the elder’s back and kissed the back of his neck. “Why don’t you get out and start drying off so you don’t turn into a prune and I’ll be out in another couple minutes,” he mumbled. 

“Or, I can return the favor,” Yuta suggested, turning back around. 

“You can if you want to. I just don’t want you on your feet too long, especially if you’re tired,” Ten said worriedly. 

“I’m not tired at all,” Yuta said, “I’m fine, Tennie. You pampered me, let me pamper you.”

“Fine, fine,” Ten agreed. He handed the bottle of shampoo to his boyfriend. 

Yuta soaped up his hands and slid his fingers into Ten’s hair. Ten had always had fantastic hair and Yuta loved playing with it. Washing it just made it all even better.

Ten hummed and tilted his head into Yuta’s hands. He reveled in the feeling of his boyfriend’s fingers running through his hair and immediate began to relax. The tension ran out of his body and he wished they could stay like this forever. 

Yuta carefully washed out Ten’s hair and moved on to conditioner. Even though it wasn’t dyed at the moment, he still took pride in keeping it soft and well kept, so Yuta knew he would want to sit with the product in his hair for a minute or two.

“You’re so good to me,” Ten murmured. He leaned forward to press wet kisses to Yuta’s shoulder and neck, slowly working his way up to his boyfriend’s mouth. 

Yuta shivered, fighting back a moan and forcing his shoulders to stay down. “You’ll be the death of me,” he muttered.

Ten chuckled. “I’m not even doing anything,” he said innocently. He pulled away from his boyfriend anyway.

“Sure you’re not,” Yuta said, rolling his eyes fondly, “I swear, you might be a vampire, the way you gnaw at my neck.”

Ten smiled at that. “You have a nice neck,” he said defensively, leaning forward again, “and I’d make a pretty sexy vampire if I do say so myself.”

“I dunno, I can’t really picture you with fangs,” Yuta said, “your teeth are too even for me to even imagine it.”

Ten pouted. “I would look sexy with fangs! And we don’t even have to wait ‘til Halloween to find out,” he said, cocking an eyebrow. 

“To what? Find you fangs?” Yuta asked, turning Ten so he could wash the conditioner out of his hair. “I love you, Tennie, but plastic Halloween fangs are about the least sexy thing about that holiday.”

Ten couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’m sure I could make it work. I can make anything sexy!” he said, “it’s just my natural charm.”

Yuta couldn’t really disagree with that. Laughing softly, he poured some body wash onto a loofah and began to work it into Ten’s shoulders. He could feel the knots that had built up from weeks of hard dancing and was determined to work them out.

Ten winced when Yuta dug into a particularly stubborn knot in his shoulder. “Babe, it’ll take forever for you to get the knots out. Don’t worry about it, I’m already pruny,” he said. 

Yuta hummed and handed the loofah to Ten to squeeze out. He rinsed off his boyfriend and reached around him to turn off the water.

Ten opened the door and snagged a towel. He draped it over Yuta’s head and towel dried his boyfriend’s hair, giggling the whole time. Before the elder could pull the towel off of his head, Ten stepped out of the shower and grabbed his own towel. 

Yuta pouted under his towel and waited until Ten had grabbed a towel and mostly dried off to step out and envelop him in the tightest, wettest hug.

“Oh, babe, come on!” Ten whined when Yuta hugged him. He should have known his boyfriend would get revenge right away. 

“That’s what you get for blinding me,” Yuta said, leaning around to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek before letting him go and grabbing a dry towel for himself.

“I was just trying to help out,” Ten said with a pout, “you intentionally were out to get me.” He wrapped the towel back around himself to dry off again. 

“Whatever you need to tell yourself,” Yuta joked. He secured the towel around his waist and used the towel still on his head to dry off his hair again before tossing it in the laundry basket along with his clothes that were still on the floor.

Ten huffed and did his best to keep a smile off his face so Yuta knew he was serious. It didn’t work very well so he ducked out of the bathroom to grab them both clean clothes from their bedroom. 

Yuta followed Ten back into the bedroom, dropping the towel from his waist and grabbing a pair of underwear from the dresser. He pulled them on and dropped onto the bed.

Ten was a little chilly so he got completely dressed before crawling into bed next to his boyfriend. He shamelessly let his eyes roam over his boyfriend’s body and he smiled softly when they came to rest on his belly.

Yuta flinched when one of Ten’s feet brushed against his calf. “We just got out of the shower; how are you already freezing?” he complained.

“I get cold easily, you know this,” Ten said. He snuggled closer to Yuta and completely wrapped himself around his boyfriend, careful to be gentle. “You’re so warm,” he added with a content hum. 

Yuta shivered at Ten’s cold skin pressing against his but settled into his boyfriend’s hold all the same. Reaching down blindly, he pulled the blanket up to cover them.

Ten was more than content to lay under the blankets, cuddled up to his boyfriend. He paused for a moment before gently laying a hand on Yuta’s belly. The elder hadn’t been this cuddly since he started showing and Ten wanted to take advantage of it as much as he could.

Yuta shivered a little when Ten’s hand gently landed on his belly, but it was more from the chill of his fingers than the touch itself. “I really wish you could be there next week,” he said softly.

Ten sighed sadly. “Me too,” he said, “I hate that I can’t be there for you and I wish there was something I could do to be able to go.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to be there next time,” Yuta said, “there’s only so many times your boss can keep you away before I march into his office and tear him apart.”

Ten smiled fondly. “I’d love to see you give him a piece of your mind,” he said honestly, “but I don’t think I’m gonna ask for the day off. I’m just gonna tell him.” 

“Oh, Tennie’s getting assertive,” Yuta teased, “that’s hot.”

“Add a pair of fangs and my boss will never say no to me again,” Ten said with a small laugh. His thumb absentmindedly rubbed back and forth.

“You’d make a pretty cute vampire, I guess,” Yuta said, smiling softly, “y’know, the kind that only feeds out of necessity.”

“I’d make a sexy vampire,” Ten corrected, “but yeah you’re probably right. Hunting people sounds exhausting anyway and I’d much rather spend my time with you.”

Yuta scoffed. “Please,” he said, “you’d make a sexy anything, but you’d still be too cute to hurt a fly.”

Ten huffed. “I can be dangerous!” he said slightly offended, “and you know what I’d do to make sure you’re happy and safe.”

“You’re a softie and you know it, Tennie,” Yuta stated, “but I’m glad we have you to keep us safe.”

Ten’s heart swelled and he couldn’t help but smile when Yuta said “we.” They hadn’t really referred to the baby as part of the family yet, but it made everything that much more real. “I love you so much,” he said sincerely. 

“I love you too,” Yuta said softly, leaning forward to kiss Ten. He paused just millimeters from his mouth. “Remind me later that I want to go back and explore this vampire fantasy of yours some more.”

Ten’s eyes widened. “I mean...my birthday is coming up pretty soon,” he said conspiratorially. 

“We’ll see how I feel after this appointment, alright?” Yuta said. 

Ten nodded immediately. He closed the gap between them and kissed his boyfriend softly, and try as he might, he couldn’t help nibbling on his lips a little.


	4. Chapter 4

A few days later, Johnny was visiting Taeyong and Kun, keeping an eye on Chenle and Jisung so their parents could get some rest. He had Jisung swaddled in his arms, fast asleep, and Chenle curled against his side, eyes glued to the movie on the TV, when his phone suddenly started to buzz. He carefully extracted it from his pocket and answered it. “Tennie; what’s up?” he asked in a hushed voice.

"Hey, I'm really sorry to do this, but Yuta has a doctor's appointment next week and my boss is being a dick and won't give me the day off. By any chance would you...would you be able to take him?" Ten asked nervously. He had been very apprehensive about calling Johnny, but he was out of options. 

“Lemme check to make sure I’m free,” Johnny said. He pulled the phone away from his ear and quickly switched to his calendar. “I might be watching Chenle for the day,” he told Ten, “but I can definitely make it all work.”

"No, no, it's okay," Ten said quickly, "I'll figure it out; don't worry. Thanks anyway." His mind was already running a mile a minute trying to figure out who else he could call.

“No, Tennie, I’m sure Lele would love the adventure,” Johnny said quickly, “just text me the details for the appointment.” He paused, biting his lip nervously. “And Yuta should unblock me so I can let him know when I’m on my way.”

Ten jumped when Johnny spoke again. He had gotten so sidetracked that he had completely forgotten he was still on the phone. "Are you sure? Oh, thank you so much; you're a lifesaver," Ten said, not quite registering the words that were spilling out of his mouth, "yeah, I'll...I'll have him do that."

“Of course,” Johnny said, smiling tightly even though Ten couldn’t see him. “Any...anything for a friend.”

Ten paused for a moment. He could feel the tension through the phone and he was wondering if maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. "Yeah...I, uh, thank you. I have to get going, but I'll text you all the info tonight," he said quietly.

“Bye, Tennie,” Johnny said quietly before hanging up. He slipped the phone back in his pocket. It hurt so much to be so close to this, but Taeyong had been right all those months ago. Johnny couldn’t focus on his own hurt in all of this, otherwise his attempts to fix it wouldn’t be sincere.

Yuta sat on the couch, twirling his phone around his hands. He wasn’t looking forward to this appointment in the slightest and he seriously debated calling to cancel it, but it was too late now.

Johnny pulled into Yuta and Ten’s apartment complex and grabbed his phone from the console to text Yuta that he was there. Even though Ten had asked him to do this and Yuta had presumably agreed to it, he still felt like he was invading on something that wasn’t his to witness.

Yuta signed sadly when Johnny’s text came through his phone. Hopefully this would go quickly and he would be back in the apartment in no time. He slipped on his shoes and jacket and made his way downstairs and over to Johnny’s car. 

“Hey,” Johnny greeted when Yuta got in the car. He didn’t have anything else to say, so he simply put the car in drive and headed out.

“Hey,” Yuta greet quietly. He buckled his seatbelt and wrapped his arms around himself. “Uh, thanks for agreeing to come.” He could feel the awkwardness radiating through the car and knew this was going to be a long morning. 

“Of course,” Johnny said, “I said I was here to help and I am. I’m done breaking promises to you.”

Yuta sighed. “Thanks, Johnny,” he said quietly. He hoped that was true, but he still had his reservations. 

Johnny pulled into the doctor’s office and parked as close as he could. “Do you want me to come in or wait out here?” he asked. 

“You can come in,” Yuta said with a shrug, “it’s not comfortable to wait in the car.”

“No, but it can’t be comfortable to have me hanging around for all of this either,” Johnny said, “I’m fine in the car, really.”

“Whatever you want to do,” Yuta said uncertainly. He didn’t want to be at this appointment to begin with, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted the support or not. His hand rested on the door handle, but he didn’t move to open the door. 

“No, it’s not,” Johnny said, “this is your thing and if you’re not comfortable with me going in there with you, then I won’t.”

“Will you come in?” Yuta asked quietly. He kept his eyes trained on the front door of the building, not able to look at Johnny. 

“Of course,” Johnny said softly. He turned off the car and got out, waiting for Yuta. 

Yuta took a deep breath and climbed out of the car. His hands were shaking so he shoved them into his pockets, hoping Johnny didn’t notice. 

Johnny let Yuta lead the way into the office and hung back while he checked himself in. It was a nice small practice and Yuta seemed familiar and friendly with the nurses, which made Johnny happy. The younger man used to have such trouble opening up to people.

Yuta chatted with Jungwoo for a few minutes, explaining who Johnny was before catching up. The younger man was so gentle and calming and Yuta felt much more relaxed by the time he went to sit back down. 

“I can stay out here when they call you,” Johnny said, “up to you.” 

Yuta nodded. He didn’t think he could handle Johnny being in the room with him, on top of the fact that he knew Ten wouldn’t be happy. “It won’t take that long and I’ll just meet you back here,” he said. 

“Alright,” Johnny agreed, “I can hold onto your jacket if you want, while you’re in there.”

“Thanks,” Yuta said quietly. He nearly jumped out of his skin when his name was called and regretfully slipped out of his jacket. He handed it to Johnny and followed the nurse into the back. 

Johnny folded the coat and laid it on his lap. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through Twitter as he waited, trying his best to ignore the woman glaring at him from the reception desk.

Yuta didn’t think he would ever get used to coming to appointments. Seeing the baby, even as small as it still was, reminded him how his life was completely changing against his will. He was relieved when the doctor finally clicked the machine off and helped him get cleaned up. After making sure the doctor was going to tell Jungwoo the gender of the baby for him, Yuta made his way back out to Johnny. He tried not to look miserable so the older man didn’t ask any questions. 

Johnny stood up when the door opened and Yuta returned to the waiting room. “How did it go?” he asked as they walked back out to the car.

“Fine,” Yuta said simply, “they said everything looked okay.” He climbed into Johnny’s car and tugged his coat around himself more.

Johnny stayed quiet as he started driving back to Yuta and Ten’s apartment. “Do you want to grab lunch?” he offered.

Yuta paused. If he was being honest he wanted nothing more than to be home and in bed until Ten came home, but he didn’t want to be rude. “Sure, we can grab lunch,” he said. Hopefully it wouldn’t be nearly as awkward as their morning had been so far. 

“We don’t have to,” Johnny said pointedly, noticing how uncomfortable Yuta seemed, “I just figured you might be hungry.”

Johnny was certainly right about that. “No, lunch sounds good,” Yuta said, “we don’t really have anything at home anyway.”

“Is a diner okay?” Johnny asked, scanning along the side of the road to see what sort of place Yuta might like to eat. He would have suggested a Japanese place, but he knew Yuta had sworn off ramen after college and couldn’t eat raw fish being pregnant, so it wasn’t an option at the moment.

“Yeah, that’s perfect,” Yuta said. He didn’t really care where they went as long as he could get something light.

It wasn’t long before Johnny spotted a diner and pulled into the parking lot. Soon enough, he and Yuta were at a table and looking over the menus.

Now that he was here, Yuta didn’t know what to do with himself. He could barely remember the last time he had even been one on one with Johnny. He was actually a little bit sad they were barely able to have a conversation. 

Once they had ordered and the menus had been taken away, Johnny wasn’t sure what to do. He and Yuta had barely had a single conversation in the last eight years that wasn’t an argument. “Hey,” he said slowly, “it’s probably not my place to ask but...are you okay?”

Yuta stiffened. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he said quickly, “just not feeling that great today.” It wasn’t the best lie he could have come up with, but he couldn’t tell Johnny of all people what was going on.

“Did something happen in the appointment?” Johnny asked gently, “you looked really upset when we left.”

“No, everything’s fine with the baby,” Yuta said honestly. In reality it was that everything wasn’t fine  _ because  _ of the baby. 

“I’m not asking about the baby,” Johnny said quietly, “I’m asking about you. Are you alright?”

Yuta sighed. He really didn’t want to be having this conversation with Johnny of all people but here he was. “I’m fine. Just still trying to get used to everything,” he said. 

Johnny sighed, studying Yuta closely. He remembered a conversation they’d had many years ago, back when they’d had a scare in college. “Yuta,” he started slowly, “do you...want the baby?”

Yuta froze and stared at Johnny. Was it worth it to keep lying? He wasn’t sure, but he also didn’t know how much he could trust the older man anymore. “Yeah,” he said unconvincingly, “I just wasn’t really planning on having one so soon.”

“Yuta,” Johnny said gently, “I won’t say anything to Ten. I know you don’t trust me, but that’s a big thing to keep to yourself.”

“This isn’t a conversation to have here,” Yuta said, desperately trying to get Johnny to drop it. He knew that was as good as an admission but he didn’t want to talk about it. 

Johnny sighed but gave it a rest. Yuta was right; this was too personal a conversation to have in the middle of a diner. Their food showed up a moment later and they were suitably distracted until they got back in the car.

Yuta was grateful that Johnny let it go. Hopefully the older man would forget all about this and wouldn’t bring it up again. The moment he got into the car, he wrapped his arms around himself and stared out the window. 

Johnny waited until they were back at the apartment until he brought it up again, so that Yuta could run away if he so pleased. “You know this isn’t something you can deal with alone, Yuta,” he said as he put the car in park, “and I know you won’t talk to Tae about it, so talk to me.”

Yuta scoffed. “Oh now you want to talk to me. You’re a few years too late for that, Johnny. Look I’m fine, the baby’s fine, and everything’s gonna work out how it should and none of that is your worry,” he said flatly. He unbuckled his seatbelt and reached for the door handle. 

Johnny sighed. He deserved that. “I didn’t stop caring about you when you stopped talking to me,” he said quietly, “it’s not healthy to bottle all that stress and all that negative emotion up, I know that now. And I’m really sorry, Yuta, for how I treated you back then. You never deserved that.”

Yuta turned back around to look at Johnny. “Really? ‘Cause it didn’t feel like you still cared,” he said, “thanks for the apology, but unfortunately for you it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not your worry and neither is what’s going on in my life.” He gripped the door handle tightly, trying to stop his hand from shaking. 

Johnny bit his lip and nodded, not looking at Yuta. He deserved any anger the younger man still held. 

Yuta took one last look at Johnny before pushing open the car door and climbing out. He closed the door behind him without so much as a thank you and headed up to his apartment as quickly as he could. 

Johnny took a deep breath when Yuta left. That had gone about as horribly as it could have gone. He would have to be persistent now though, checking in on Yuta and making sure he was doing okay. He was going to make it clear just how much he still cared. 

Yuta all but collapsed into bed and immediately wrapped himself around a pillow. He didn’t even want Ten to come home because he knew his boyfriend would be all over him trying to make him feel better. 

Johnny drove home, doing his best to redirect his mind toward positive thoughts. This was all going to be worth it, for closure if nothing else. 

Ten was relieved when Yuta texted him that the appointment went well, but that relief disappeared when he came home to a quiet apartment. He had expected to find his boyfriend sitting on the couch watching TV or in the kitchen grabbing a snack. “Hey, babe, I’m home,” he called. 

Yuta knew he should never have gotten into bed, because he had fallen asleep and taken a very long, very unintentional nap. Now, woken up by Ten calling for him, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep later. With a groan, he rolled out of bed and trudged into the kitchen. 

Ten frowned when Yuta came out of their bedroom, looking absolutely miserable. “Did you have dinner yet?” he asked, trying to avoid any questions that would make his boyfriend more upset. 

“No, I’ve been asleep all afternoon,” Yuta mumbled, wrapping himself around Ten’s back. He was still exhausted. 

“Let’s get some food and then we can cuddle on the couch and watch a movie,” Ten said. He did his best to maneuver around the kitchen with Yuta glued to his back. 

Yuta wasn’t sure why he was being so clingy. After his confrontation with Johnny, he almost felt like he should be trying to avoid Ten, not hang off of him like a leech.

“You feeling okay, babe?” Ten asked concernedly. Yuta hadn’t been this clingy since he had gotten pregnant and it was a little bit worrisome. 

“Yeah, I think I’m just tired,” Yuta mumbled, pulling away from his boyfriend and heading toward the couch instead. 

“You can catch up on sleep today so that you’re good to go tomorrow morning,” Ten said. He heated up a couple plates of leftovers for them and carried them into the living room. 

“I slept all afternoon, there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep tonight,” Yuta said as he wrapped himself around a throw pillow. 

Ten frowned. “Do you want to call in sick tomorrow?” he asked gently.

“No, I’ll make it fine,” Yuta said, “I want to save as much of my PTO as I can for when I actually need it.”

Ten nodded. “I shouldn’t be as late tomorrow so hopefully I’ll have time to make us a nice dinner before you get home,” he said. 

“That would be great, Tennie, thanks,” Yuta said with a small smile. He was so thankful for Ten’s presence in his life. 

Ten leaned over to kiss Yuta gently. “Eat up, babe, maybe it’ll give you a little bit of energy,” he said. 

Yuta wasn’t really feeling particularly hungry. The food he had eaten at the diner had been heavy and wasn’t quite sitting right in his stomach, and he told Ten as much. “Honestly, I just want to go back to bed,” he said, tearing up against his own will. 

“That’s fine,” Ten said soothingly, “but is everything okay? You look like you’re about to cry. Did something happen?” He set his plate down and scooted closer to his boyfriend. 

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Yuta insisted, although the way his face was directed up definitely belied him. “I’m just so exhausted.” Ten would buy that. Yuta was notorious for bursting into tears when he was tired. 

“Oh, babe, come on. Let’s get you to bed,” Ten said. He wiped his boyfriend’s eyes with his thumbs before wrapping his arm around his waist and guiding him down the hallway. 

Yuta let Ten guided him to bed and tuck him under the blanket. It was warm and secure under their heavy winter comforter and just the thought of feeling so safe had him tearing up again. What was wrong with him tonight?

Ten sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hand through Yuta’s hair. “I know everything is really overwhelming right now, but it’s going to be okay,” Ten said gently, “I’m gonna stay right here as long as you need me, okay?”

Yuta whimpered and nodded. He pulled the blanket up to cover the lower half of his face and closed his eyes, trying to lose himself in the feeling of Ten’s hands in his hair. 

“It’s okay to cry, Yu,” Ten said quietly, “I know you’re really overwhelmed right now and that’s okay. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“No, it’s  _ stupid _ ,” Yuta said, voice muffled by the blanket, “I’m not upset, I’m just tired, and I’m not a toddler, so why am I  _ crying _ over being tired?”

“Because this is more than just being tired,” Ten said, “your hormones are all out of whack and they’re running away with you. And that’s okay.”

“That still isn’t something to cry over,” Yuta mumbled, “I’m an adult; I can handle my stress.”

“Adults are allowed to be upset by trivial things,” Ten pointed out, “and if it’s something small that’s pushing you over the edge, there’s probably something bigger going on.”

Yuta sighed and burrowed deeper into the blankets. Ten wasn’t wrong, but he couldn’t  _ say  _ that. 

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it, but you can’t hold onto this much stress,” Ten said, “it’s not good for either of you.”

Yuta sighed. “It was just really weird being alone with Johnny today,” he said quietly, “it just reminded me how stupid and naive I was in college.”

Ten sighed sadly. “I’m so sorry you had to be in that position. And I’m not gonna let it happen again. You don’t deserve to be so upset after only a couple hours with him,” he said. 

“I’m not upset,” Yuta said again, “I’m more angry than anything. Where does he get off thinking he has the right to reappear in my life after eight years and act like he didn’t drag me and my self esteem through the mud for three years?”

“I don’t blame you for being mad. He treated you so horribly and I have no idea where his conscience came from,” Ten said, “I’m sure Taeyong has a better idea of what’s going on with him. I could always ask him to tell Johnny to back off.”

“Tae wouldn’t do that,” Yuta said, “he wants us all to be friends again. And I get it. Johnny was the only one who was there for him when he lost his hearing and he doesn’t want to lose him and I’m willing to deal with him for Taeyong, but not this close to my own life. He already used his chance to fuck it up, he shouldn’t get another.” 

Ten nodded in agreement. “I support you one thousand percent and I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure you’re happy and safe,” he said. He didn’t want to create any more problems that necessary, but he had half a mind to rip into Johnny himself.

“I just...I want to hate him but I can’t,” Yuta said in a small voice, “and I know I should, because he treated me like  _ shit _ , but I think there’s always going to be a tiny little part of my brain that’s still in love with him. I  _ hate  _ that.”

Ten shifted slightly. “It’s not your fault. You cared a lot about him and depended on him so much and he went and turned his back on you like you never mattered. That’s so devastating, but I understand why your brain is still holding onto the good things you two had,” he said. 

“The worst is that same tiny piece wants me to resent  _ you  _ for it, as if Johnny and I could have been happy together if you were never in the picture, which is  _ ridiculous.  _ I’m much happier with you than I ever would have been with him,” Yuta grumbled. 

Ten felt his chest tighten. He knew he was part of the reason that Johnny and Yuta’s relationship was shattered, but if the elder of the two hadn’t lied to him, they wouldn’t be in this boat. To this day he still felt guilty about what happened, but he had a beautiful boyfriend who he cherished so much and it made all the heartbreak that much easier to bear. 

“If you can’t go next time, I’ll go alone,” Yuta said, “Jungwoo will be there either way, if anything does happen. I don’t want to deal with Johnny ever again.”

“I can come to the next one. I already told my boss I’m gonna need the day off and he agreed,” Ten said. He didn’t want his boyfriend anywhere near Johnny either. 

“Good,” Yuta said quietly, “I’ll talk to Jungwoo tomorrow and make sure Johnny doesn’t end up at the party.”

Ten nodded. “Whatever you need to do, I’m gonna support you completely,” he said. 

“Thanks, Tennie,” Yuta said quietly, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ten said sincerely. He leaned down to kiss the top of Yuta’s head that was still peeking out past the blanket. 


	5. Chapter 5

Within the next few weeks, Yuta began showing more clearly and started wearing loose sweaters to work rather than a blazer and tight shirt. By the time the party rolled around at the end of March, he was halfway there and increasingly anxious.

Ten was absolutely buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t wait to find out if they were having a boy or a girl and he had to contain himself from tearing through what Jungwoo had prepared for the reveal.

Yuta was really impressed by what Jungwoo had thrown together. It was a small gathering of just their closest friends, but it was fun all the same. The reveal itself was simple, just a black balloon with colored confetti inside. 

When they finally got the okay from Jungwoo, Ten all but dragged Yuta over to the balloon. “You have to pop it,” he said, “I’m too nervous.”

Yuta rolled his eyes but took the long needle Jungwoo offered him. “Fine, but you have to hold it still for me,” he said. 

“Deal,” Ten said. He grabbed onto the balloon and held it out at arm’s length. He couldn’t tell if he was shaking more from excitement or nervousness, but he did his best to keep the balloon steady. 

Yuta took a deep breath and wiped his hand on his pants. He was suddenly very sweaty. Holding the needle up again, he squeezed his eyes shut and popped the balloon. 

Ten yelped in surprise when the balloon popped loudly, but that quickly morphed into a cheer of excitement when he saw the blue confetti littering the floor. “A boy!” he said excitedly, “we’re

gonna have a boy.” He wrapped his arms around Yuta and hugged his boyfriend tightly. 

Yuta’s ears rang from the pop of the balloon and it took him a moment to open his eyes and process the blue confetti covering his feet. His body was jostled when Ten hugged him tightly and he instinctively hugged back. A baby boy.

Ten hide is face in Yuta’s neck as tears of joy pricked the corners of his eyes. Not that he would have loved a girl any less, but he was just so happy to finally know. “I love you so much,” he whispered. 

Yuta had almost hoped for a girl, as there were none in their little tribe, but he was glad for a boy. He wouldn’t be outnumbered and would be able to tumble around with Jisung without Yuta worrying that he would one day be excluded. 

Ten pulled back so he could look at Yuta. “Are you excited?” he asked, smiling widely.

“Yeah,” Yuta breathed with a wide smile, “a baby boy. He’s gonna be so loved.”

“That he is,” Ten agreed. He leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend before turning his attention back to all of their friends. 

“Hear that Lele?” Yuta said, bending down and scooping the boy up, “you and Jisung are gonna have a new baby cousin to play with soon.”

“Soon?” Chenle asked hopefully. He couldn’t wait for a new baby to play with and he knew Jisung was excited too. 

“In August,” Yuta said, “do you know how many months that is from now?”

“Three!” Chenle said confidently. He wasn’t really sure how long it actually was, but he hoped it wasn’t long.

“Nope, it’s a little longer,” Yuta said, “we still have April, and May, and June, and July, and  _ then _ August. How many is that, Lele?”

Chenle counted the months out on his fingers and held it up when he was done. “Five!” he announced loudly. 

“Good job, baby,” Yuta praised, “are you excited to meet your little cousin?”

Chenle nodded excitedly. “Wanna play with baby,” he said. 

“You and Jeno are gonna do a good job of including Jisung and your baby cousin when you play, right?” Yuta asked, glancing at the other antsy toddler waiting for Chenle on the other side of the yard.

Chenle nodded again. “Yes, yes. We all play together!” he promised.

“Good,” Yuta said. He kissed Chenle’s cheek then put the boy down, letting him run off to play with Jeno. With a small sigh, he soon found himself sitting with Taeyong and Jungwoo.

Ten smiled fondly as he watched Yuta with Chenle. His boyfriend was so amazing with the toddler and he couldn’t wait for their baby to get here. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t let me help plan this,” Taeyong whined, clinging to Yuta’s arm and making the younger man roll his eyes. “You would’ve ruined the surprise the second you found out,” he said.

Ten walked over to Kun, still smiling widely. “I was going to ask if you’re excited, but I think I know the answer to that,” Kun said as he wrapped Ten in a hug. Ten chuckled as he hugged Kun back. “I’m just so happy to finally know,” he said. 

Taeyong pouted but didn’t deny it. “Jungwoo’s a really good kid though,” Yuta said, “you really did a great job, Woo.”

“I feel like these next few months are gonna drag,” Ten said. “They probably are, but take advantage of it,” Kun said honestly, “you’ll miss it when it’s gone.”

Taeyong had Jisung laying comfortably in the crook of his arm and Yuta couldn’t take his eyes off the baby. “How has it been recovering, Tae?” he asked.

Ten finally let go of Kun and took a step back. “I will. It’s just been so hard when everything’s been so...hectic lately,” he said quietly. He cast a sad glance towards Yuta.

“It’s been okay,” Taeyong said, “I’m still pretty sore and there’s nothing I can do yet to get rid of the baby weight, but that’s normal.”

Kun followed Ten’s gaze. “Hey, is everything okay?” he asked. Ten sighed sadly. “Yeah? It’s just been really up and down lately. This has been taking a lot out of Yuta and I just wish there was more I could do for him,” he said.

“Plus, it’s totally worth it for this little guy,” Taeyong said, tapping Jisung’s nose gently. The baby yawned and peered up at his father.

“The next day you have off we’ll talk more,” Kun promised, “just try to enjoy this right now.” Ten nodded and hugged his best friend again. “I don’t even know where to begin with thinking of names,” he said. 

Yuta smiled softly. Jisung was adorable and he could easily believe that all the pain and degradation was worth it for Taeyong.

“You have plenty of time to think of some,” Kun said, “but if you want a little inspiration...” He walked back over to Taeyong. “Hey, babe, can I borrow Jisungie?” Ten shook his head, but followed behind Kun regardless. 

Taeyong pouted but handed the baby over to his fiance. The baby, however, was not having that and immediately burst into tears.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Sungie,” Kun said soothingly, “Tennie wants to hold you for a minute and then you can go back to Taeyong baba.” Ten took a step back, not at all wanting to deal with the sobbing infant.

“He just woke up so he’s just a little cranky,” Taeyong said, reaching up and adjusting Jisung’s blanket.

“You get that from Taeyong, huh?” Kun teased. Ten did his best to stifle a laugh, but he wasn’t very successful and hid himself behind Kun. “If he’s tired, I don’t have to hold him,” he said seriously.

“No, he’s just being grumpy,” Taeyong said, “it’s alright if you hold him. Practice, anyway.”

Ten hesitantly took Jisung from Kun. “I’m sorry your dad bothered you, kiddo, but you can go back to sleep now,” he said. He gently bounced the baby, hoping that would help calm him down.

Yuta would admit that the image of Ten cradling the tiny baby was doing... _ things _ to his heart. His boyfriend was going to be so good with their son. He just had a natural talent for it.

Once Jisung realized he wasn’t going to get moved around anymore, he settled down to go back to sleep. Ten heaved a sigh of relief when the baby finally calmed down. “You can’t do that to me, kid,” he muttered.

“He’s good with him,” Taeyong commented, watching his friend and his baby closely. Yuta hummed. “He’s gonna be an amazing dad,” he said quietly.

“Feeling inspired?” Kun asked. “No,” Ten hissed quietly, “you handed me a wailing infant. The only thing I’m feeling right now is overwhelmed.” Kun chuckled in response and sat down in the spot on the other side of Taeyong.

“Get used to it,” Taeyong said wisely, “the first thing they’re gonna do in the hospital is hand you a wailing infant and then it’s all on you.”

Ten sighed and looked down at Jisung. Soon this was going to be his reality. And while he was excited beyond belief, he was also terrified out of his mind. “We’ll figure it out, won’t we?” he said more to himself than anything.

“You’re welcome to come over and practice whenever you want,” Taeyong joked, except he really wasn’t joking. He and Kun weren’t leaving the house any time soon unless they could bring both kids with them or pawn them off on someone else.

At first Ten had brushed off the idea of practicing, but Jisung was absolutely adorable and getting some baby practice didn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore. “Honestly, I could use all the baby time I could get,” he said.

“Just let us know when and we’ll give you baby  _ and _ toddler time,” Taeyong said. Speaking of, he should probably check on what Chenle and Jeno were getting into on the other side of the yard.

Ten smiled. “Be careful giving me Chenle, ‘cause I might not give him back. I’ve been very deprived of toddler time and I have a lot of catching up to do,” he said.

“That’s fine,” Taeyong said with a laugh, “he’s a bit of a handful and I can only pawn him off on Taeil so many times.”

“A handful? What happened to my little angel?” Ten asked only half serious. He knew bringing Jisung home was probably a lot for the toddler and he was more than happy to start watching him again. “You know we could always just watch Lele if you need a day to just focus on Jisung.”

“Kunnie and I would like to go out on a date every now and then,” Taeyong said, “and who better to babysit than our friends that need to learn how to handle a baby?” Across the table, Yuta stayed silent, but he knew he wasn’t hiding his discomfort very well.

Ten looked up and frowned when he saw Yuta’s expression. “Maybe just one kid at a time?” he said hesitantly, “I’d like a little time to warm up.”

“We don’t have to figure it out now,” Taeyong said gently, “but I’m glad you two are up for it. I wish we had any way to prepare for Jisung. The first few weeks have been wild.”

Ten exhaled shakily and looked down at Jisung. The baby was peaceful now that he was sleeping again, but it couldn’t always be like that. “I don’t think I could have done it going in completely blind,” he said.

“We weren’t  _ completely _ blind, but Jisung takes a lot more work than Chenle,” Taeyong said, “either way, we’ll be really grateful for your help.”

Ten snuck a quick look at Yuta. “We’d love to help out,” he said quietly. He walked over to Taeyong and carefully handed Jisung back to his father without waking him up again. After successfully relocating the baby, Ten went to stand behind Yuta and gently massaged his boyfriend’s shoulders. 

Yuta leaned into Ten’s hands, resting his hands on top of his belly. The unfortunate part about being the subject of the party was that he couldn’t leave early, so he hoped everyone started heading home soon.

They all talked for a little while until the two toddlers came tumbling into the room, looking exhausted. Ten scooped up Chenle and showered him in kisses, promising him that he could come play with the baby, before sending him home with his parents. Everyone began to trickle out and soon it was only Yukhei and Jungwoo left, who offered to help to clean everything up.

“Thank you for doing this,” Yuta said to Jungwoo, hugging the younger man tightly, “it was perfect.” “Of course,” Jungwoo said, “I’m just happy to help. You go lay down, alright? We’ve got the rest of this.” Normally, Yuta would argue, but he was exhausted.

“I’ll be in in a minute,” Ten called after his boyfriend. He sighed sadly and grabbed a broom from the closet. They were only halfway there and it had already been hell. He didn’t want to even think about how the next few months were going to go.

Yuta yawned as he trudged into the bedroom and laid in bed. He hated that a simple party could wipe him out so much, but he was also glad that he didn’t have to deal with any more baby stuff for the rest of the day.

Ten thanked Jungwoo and Yukhei profusely for planning the party and helping clean everything up. Once their friends had left, he made his way into the bedroom to check on his boyfriend. “How are you feeling, babe?” he asked quietly.

“I’m fine,” Yuta said, “I’m a little nauseous, but I probably just had too much cake.” His stomach felt like it was turning over itself.

Ten climbed into bed and settled next to Yuta. He laid his hand on his boyfriend’s belly and rubbed small circles. It wouldn’t really help much, but it was all he could do. “Get some rest and you’ll feel better in a little while,” he said. 

Yuta moved around so that Ten was pressed against his back with an arm around his waist. It was more comfortable to lay like this. He groaned when his stomach turned again.

Ten sighed and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Yuta’s neck. “Do you want me to get you anything?” he asked. 

“No, I’ll be okay,” Yuta said, rubbing a hand over his own belly. His stomach turned again and he felt a ripple against his hand.

Ten felt Yuta tense up against him. “You sure you’re okay, babe?” he asked nervously.

“Yeah,” Yuta said slowly, “I just...felt something weird.”

Ten sat up a little bit. “Something weird? Does it hurt?” he asked concernedly. He was about to sit up more, but before he could move his hand there was a small movement beneath it. If he wasn’t paying attention, he would have missed it. “Oh my God, was that…?” he asked, eyes widening. 

Yuta bit his lip and nodded slowly. “I think he’s moving,” he said quietly. He had never felt a sensation like this before and it was honestly mildly disconcerting.

Ten smiled widely. “Hi, baby,” he breathed, “did you enjoy your party today?” He had been waiting for the baby to start moving and he was so incredibly happy.

Yuta was glad that he was facing away from Ten, because it meant that his boyfriend couldn’t see the tears gathering in his eyes. This was real, way too real now. 

Ten continued to rub small circles, hoping the baby would move again. “He really picked the perfect time to make his first appearance,” he said. 

Yuta bit his lip to stifle a sob and nodded quickly. He didn’t want this, not at all. He wasn’t expecting it to become so real so fast. It just made him even more aware of how terrified he was to have a child. 

Ten settled down again and kissed the back of Yuta’s neck. “I love you both so much,” he whispered. He felt bad that his boyfriend didn’t feel good now of all times, but he knew their baby would be moving a lot more in the coming months.

“I love you too,” Yuta whispered, trying to mask the thickness in his voice. He pulled his hand away from his belly and tugged the blanket up to his face, discreetly wiping his eyes. 

Ten smiled softly and let a silence envelope them. He knew Yuta was worn out from the party and he wanted to make sure his boyfriend got plenty of rest. 

It took Yuta awhile to fall asleep. He was hyper aware of every movement that the baby was making, now that he realized the nausea was in fact actual movement. 

Ten was originally planning on taking a cat nap, but that was thrown out the window. He was too focused on the baby and didn’t want to miss anything. 

Yuta did eventually fall asleep, but it wasn’t the nap he had planned on taking. No, when he woke next, it was in the wee hours of the morning. 

Ten was pulled out of his sleep when Yuta moved. He hummed quietly and subconsciously tightened his grip on his boyfriend, ever so gently, and settled back down to go back to sleep.

Once Yuta was certain Ten was asleep, he carefully pulled himself from his boyfriend’s grasp and padded to the bathroom.

Ten was used to Yuta getting up in the middle of the night so he wasn’t that worried. It had become a much more common occurrence recently. 

Yuta made sure that the door was locked and blocked by a cabinet before he turned to the mirror. His face looked gaunt, with deep eyebags. With a sigh, he pulled up his shirt, exposing his belly. He ran a hand over the skin there and, on cue, it trembled with the force of a tiny kicking. 

In his half-asleep state Ten had no sense of the time. He just knew Yuta was gone and he would hopefully be back before Ten fell asleep again. 

“I want to like you so much,” Yuta whispered, staring at his belly in the mirror, “but I can’t. You’re ruining my life.” Whether he was talking to himself or the baby, even he had no clue. 

Ten was starting to get a little worried now. Yuta never usually took this long and he was debating getting up and going to check on his boyfriend. 

Yuta carefully sat on the closed toilet seat with a heavy sigh. The next few months we’re going to be miserable. 

Ten gave it another few minutes before he got out of bed and went to find his boyfriend. He wasn’t surprised to find the bathroom door closed with light spilling out from the small crack below the door. He walked over and knocked gently on the door, trying not to scare Yuta. “Yu? Is everything okay?” he asked. 

Yuta flinched when Ten knocked on the door but quickly collected himself. “Yeah,” he said, “I’ll be out in a few minutes, babe, go back to bed.”

Ten sighed sadly. “Alright. Just yell if you need me,” he said. He stood there for a minute before pulling himself back down the hallway to their bedroom.

Yuta took a deep, shaky breath and wiped at his eyes. He knew he would get used to the movement, but he had expected that he had another month before it would happen. He hadn’t had time to prepare himself and now his emotions were everywhere. 

Ten couldn’t fall back asleep if he wanted to. He wanted to make sure Yuta was okay first, but he wondered if his boyfriend would even tell him what was going on.

Finally, Yuta managed to collect himself, splashed some water on his face, and trudged back to bed. If he was going to cry about this, it was going to be when Ten wasn’t home. 

Ten picked his head up when Yuta came back into the bedroom. He opened his mouth to ask if everything was okay, but quickly bit his lip to stop himself. It was definitely not a good time to talk about whatever was going on.

Yuta slowly climbed into bed and laid on his side, back to Ten’s chest once more. He missed the days when he could just flop down on his stomach and pass out. 

Ten hesitantly wrapped an arm around Yuta again. He wished there was more he could do to make his boyfriend happy and comfortable, but all he could do was offer support.

Yuta sighed heavily. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, but he wrapped himself around a pillow with the intention of trying. 

Everything went right back to where it was after the party, with the exception of Yuta. It seemed like they had taken several steps back again to the point where they were barely talking to each other. Try as he might, there wasn’t much Ten could do and after a couple weeks he was grateful for the distraction of babysitting Chenle and Jisung one night.

Yuta had pretty much settled himself on the couch with Chenle as soon as they’d gotten there and hadn’t moved since. He was feeling particularly bloated and heavy and moving just really wasn’t in the cards.

Ten had taken Jisung into his arms almost immediately and had no plans of letting go. The baby was awake and peering around as best he could and Ten would be damned if he didn’t take advantage of the quiet. Meanwhile, Chenle had himself practically glued to Yuta’s side and was looking up at the older man with big eyes and a pout. He was promised that he would get to play with the baby tonight.

“Lele, isn’t this your favorite movie?” Yuta said, gesturing to the television, “you aren’t even watching it.”

“But wanna play with baby,” Chenle whined, “baba promised!” Ten wasn’t quite ready to give Jisung up yet, but if Chenle needed some attention to tire him out, he wouldn’t mind giving the baby to Yuta. “Do you want to switch, babe?” he asked.

“Pretty sure that’s not the baby he’s referring to,” Yuta grumbled, “Lele, remember how we said the baby won’t be here for five months? Right? Until August?”

“But, but I wanna play now,” Chenle whined, lip wobbling. “Lele, it’s okay. You can play with me and Jisungie,” Ten said.

Yuta sighed and lifted the boy onto his lap. “He might play with you a bit if you put your hand there,” he said, pointing to his belly, “but he doesn’t move a lot yet, so you have to be patient.”

Chenle smiled widely and settled himself in Yuta’s lap. He placed both hands on his uncle’s belly and waited patiently. 

Yuta held Chenle’s back so the boy wouldn’t fall off his lap. It took a few minutes, but he soon felt a tiny ripple near Chenle’s hand. 

Chenle gasped when he felt the movement. “Hi, baby!” he greeted loudly, “Sungie, come say hi.” Ten chuckled quietly and moved to sit next to Yuta. 

“Careful, kiddo,” Yuta said when Chenle tipped back. Taeyong would kill him if either child got hurt. 

Chenle gripped onto Yuta’s shirt and pulled himself back. He snuggled closer so that he didn’t fall back again. 

Yuta smiled at Chenle, watching the boy waited patiently for another kick. He wasn’t sure if the baby was really moving enough for so many at one time, but it kept Chenle occupied and not crying. 

The baby didn’t move again and Chenle finally remembered his movie was on. He turned himself around so that he could see, but still cuddle with Yuta’s belly. Ten reached a hand over and ruffled Chenle’s hair. “I’m gonna make Jisung a bottle before he gets too fussy,” he said. He wanted to avoid a meltdown at all costs. 

“Babe, you just fed him like an hour ago,” Yuta reminded Ten, “he doesn’t need to eat that often. He’s okay.”

Ten looked down at the baby just in time to catch him yawn. “I just don’t want him to start crying,” he said. 

“I think that’s the last thing you have to worry about right now,” Yuta said, “he probably needs to go down for a nap, honestly.”

“You wanna take a nap, Sungie? Let’s go into your room so the movie doesn’t bother you anymore,” Ten said. He stood up and brought the baby into the bedroom so he could check his diaper and try to get him down for a nap.

He would never admit it, but Yuta had relaxed significantly once Ten had taken the baby out of the room. With a grunt, he shifted Chenle off his lap and laid down on his side to be a bit more comfortable. 

Chenle pouted when he was moved off of Yuta’s lap. He did his best to snuggle close again, but it was a little harder now.

“Sorry, kiddo,” Yuta said, “the baby’s just really heavy.”

“Hurts?” Chenle asked nervously. He hopped down from the couch so he could see Yuta better. 

“No, baby, it doesn’t hurt,” Yuta said, “it just makes me a little sore and tired.”

Chenle deflated. He remembered how tired Taeyong baba always was too. He moved into the middle of the living room and snuggled with his bear on the floor to finish watching his movie. 

Yuta frowned. Chenle didn’t have to move away; he still could have cuddled on the couch with him. 

Ten somehow managed to get Jisung into a clean diaper and down for a nap in only twenty minutes. When he went back into the living room he was surprised that Chenle was on the floor and not cuddling with Yuta. He lowered himself down next to the unusually quiet toddler. “What are you doing all by yourself on the floor?” he asked, tickling the boy’s side. Chenle giggled and rolled away from Ten. 

Yuta bit his lip, wrapping around a throw pillow. He felt bad that he had made Chenle upset. Of course Ten would be able to come in a fix everything. 

Ten finally gave Chenle a break and pulled the boy onto his lap. “Why you all the way down here, huh?” he asked again. Chenle glanced over at Yuta. “Uncle doesn’t feel good,” he said sadly. “Aren’t your cuddles supposed to make people feel better?” Ten asked. Chenle simply nodded. “Well you can’t cuddle with Yuta and the baby all the way over here now can you?” Chenle shook his head this time.

“It’s okay, Tennie, he doesn’t have to lay with me if he doesn’t want to,” Yuta said. 

Chenle pouted and hugged his bear closer. “What do you wanna do Lele? Do you wanna finish the movie with me or with the baby?” Ten asked. “Baby,” the toddler replied in a small voice. “Alright, baby it is,” Ten said. He set the toddler on his feet and guided him over to the couch. Chenle looked up at Yuta with big eyes. “Cuddles?” he asked hopefully. 

“Sure, baby, come on up,” Yuta said. He tucked the throw pillow under his head to make room for Chenle to come up.

Chenle climbed up onto the couch. He spun himself around and laid so that he was snuggled completely up against Yuta, but still facing the TV. 

Yuta laid a hand on Chenle’s belly to make sure that the boy didn’t roll off the couch. “Do you like this movie, Lele?” he asked. 

Chenle nodded, a little distracted. Now that he was comfortable, he was finally focusing on the movie. Ten smiled softly and moved off the floor to sit in the arm chair. He set the baby monitor on the end table and hoped Jisung slept for a little while. 

Yuta wasn’t surprised that Chenle was nearly asleep by the end of the movie. Even if it was one of his favorite movies, it was nearing his regular naptime and the lack of physical activity made it easier for him to fall asleep.

“Is it nap time, kiddo?” Ten asked. Chenle whined and shook his head. “Wanna play,” he mumbled into his bear. 

“How about we play a game where we try to keep our eyes closed for as long as possible?” Yuta said quietly, “you and Tennie can compete and I’ll be the judge, alright?”

Chenle twisted to look up at Yuta. “Prize?” he asked quietly. 

“Uhh...whoever wins gets to hug Tae baba first when he gets home,” Yuta said, hoping that would be a good enough incentive for Chenle. He didn’t know what kids liked.

“If you win, I’ll bring you a new car next time I come,” Ten added. Chenle immediately hunkered down and squeezed his eyes shut. 

Yuta was so thankful that that had somehow worked. Kids could be so gullible. And sure enough, within half an hour, Chenle was fast asleep.

“You should get some rest while it’s quiet, babe,” Ten said, “Sung’s probably gonna be up in a little while and Chenle’s gonna be bouncing off the walls when he wakes up.”

“What time are Tae and Kun supposed to be home?” Yuta asked through a yawn. 

Ten glanced down at his watch. “Not for another couple hours. Jisung’s definitely gonna need to eat when he gets up and Chenle might even be hungry,” he said. 

“Alright, I’m definitely gonna nap then,” Yuta said, closing his eyes, “and you can work on finding the toy car you promised Lele.”

“I’ll figure it out later. I told him I’d bring it next time anyway,” Ten said. He fell silent after that, letting Yuta fall asleep. It was peaceful in the apartment for a little while until Jisung woke up and started crying. Ten snagged the baby monitor off of the end table and darted into the bedroom. 

Yuta woke up with a start when he heard the baby monitor and he was glad that Ten was already off down the hall taking care of it. He didn’t know how he would ever have the energy to take care of a baby every waking moment of his life.

“Hi, Sungie,” Ten cooed as he picked up the baby, “did you have a good nap?” The baby just continued to cry in response. “Oh, I know, kiddo, let’s get you some dinner,” he said, carrying the baby into the kitchen to make him a bottle.

Yuta groaned, bringing a hand up to rub his eye. Fortunately, Chenle stayed fast asleep, so Yuta wasn’t motivated to move any time soon.

Ten made the bottle as quickly as he could and waited a minute for it to cool before giving it to Jisung. It took a few minutes for the baby to calm down enough to start eating, but once he did the apartment was finally quiet again.

When the baby stopped crying, Chenle whined and pushed closer to Yuta. “It’s okay, kiddo, he was just hungry,” his uncle mumbled, rubbing the boy’s back.

Ten grabbed a towel from the kitchen and carried it and Jisung into the living room. He settled back into the armchair to finish feeding Jisung. “How’s Lele?” he asked.

“About ninety seven percent asleep,” Yuta said, voice hoarse and tired. “Sungie okay?”

Ten chuckled. “He’s good, just hungry, huh, little guy?” he asked rhetorically. “Go back to sleep, babe, I’ll try to keep him quiet.”

“It’s okay,” Yuta said, “I really shouldn’t fall back asleep anyway.”

Ten hummed. “When Chenle wakes up we can switch if you want,” he offered, “Sung’s gonna be content just to snuggle again.”

“No, that’s okay,” Yuta said hurriedly, “I don’t want to take any risks with him.”

“You’re not gonna break him, babe,” Ten said gently, “it’s probably good for you to hold him. I can’t play with Chenle if I have Jisung.”

“No, my belly will get in the way and I’m gonna drop him,” Yuta said, “I can handle Lele.”

Ten sighed quietly. “Alright, whatever you want to do,” he said. He turned his attention back to Jisung who had just finished his bottle. “It’s you and me, kiddo.” He laid the towel on his shoulder before carefully laying the baby over his shoulder as well. 

Yuta couldn’t help but watch Ten. “You’re going to be an amazing father,” he said quietly.

Ten smiled sheepishly. “Don’t jinx me,” he said, only half joking, “but I’m scared out of my mind. Sungie’s easy. I can handle him for a few hours and if there’s that much of a problem I can just call Kun. With ours, there’s no one to hand him off to and there’s not gonna be anyone to call when we don’t know what to do. I’m so glad that I have you, ‘cause I know we’re gonna figure this out together and be amazing parents.”

“You know Tae and Kun will always be willing to help us out,” Yuta deflected, “we’ll call them for assistance and advice, you know that.”

Ten smiled. “I know, but I don’t want to be bothering them with every little thing that happens,” he said. When Jisung was burped, Ten cradled him in his arms again, making little faces every now and then, even though the baby still couldn’t see him well. 

Yuta sighed heavily. He was glad that Ten was excited about this and he hoped that Ten’s excitement became infectious, sooner rather than later.

“I still can’t believe we’re gonna be parents,” Ten said, not looking up from Jisung, “huh, Sungie, are you excited for the new baby too? Our family’s getting so big, huh?”

“Yeah,” Yuta said quietly, “we’re gonna be parents.” It was all they ever talked about anymore.

Ten fell silent when he heard how unexcited Yuta sounded. He focused all of his attention on Jisung, until Chenle woke up from his nap with a loud whine. “Hi, Lele,” he said quietly.

“Lele, you won,” Yuta said softly, “you left your eyes closed way longer than Uncle Tennie.”

Chenle sat up, suddenly wide awake. “New car?” he asked hopefully. “You gotta wait until next time I come, but I promise I’ll bring it,” Ten said. 

Yuta chuckled at Chenle’s sudden wakefulness. Of course the boy would shoot up at the mention of a new toy.

Chenle was a little disappointed but he was quickly distracted by the prospect of playing with Ten and Jisung. Ten moved to sit in the middle of the living room floor and held Jisung with one arm, while he played action figures with Chenle. 

Yuta smiled to himself as he watched Ten play with the boys. As hesitant as he was about this baby, at least he would be doing it with Ten. **  
**


	6. Chapter 6

Even as supportive as Ten was over the next few weeks, things didn’t get any better. Eventually, Yuta couldn’t bottle up all the stress anymore. His week had been absolutely miserable, to put it lightly, and he was glad he took the day off because he was an absolute mess. Every time the baby moved, it was a constant reminder of how his life was slowly slipping through his fingertips and it was completely overwhelming. On top of being uncomfortable, he had been craving Japanese food all week, but he hadn’t been able to get any. He couldn’t text Ten because he knew his boyfriend wouldn’t be able to leave work, Kun and Taeyong were much too busy with their boys, and there was no way he could bother Yukhei or Jungwoo. There was only one option left and he was just desperate enough to use it. Pulling out his phone, he sent a barely coherent text to Johnny begging the older man to bring him some takoyaki. 

Johnny was just about to finish his office hours when a text came into his phone. The last thing he was expecting to see was a text from Yuta. It was a jumble of mixed Korean and Japanese text, which immediately made him worried. Without thinking, he called Yuta, holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he shoved his laptop into a bag and grabbed his keys.

Yuta jumped when his phone suddenly started ringing. In his desperation, he immediately answered the phone without thinking. “J-Johnny,” he answered shakily, “c-can you bring me some takoyaki? I really want some, b-but I can’t leave the apartment right now and everyone else is busy so I can’t ask them.” He knew he sounded desperate, but he was too distraught to care.

“Yuta, I don’t think you can eat takoyaki right now,” Johnny said gently as he closed and locked his office, “but I can find you some tonkatsu or something else without fish in it.” Internally, he was panicking, but he knew he had to stay calm to keep Yuta calm.

Yuta nearly burst into tears. “Anything, I’ll eat anything. Just bring me something. Please,” he begged. He wasn’t even worried about having to see the older man. He just wanted something that reminded him of home.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Johnny promised, “I just got to my car, okay? I’ll be there soon. But are you okay? Are you safe?”

Yuta sniffed. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” he said unconvincingly. He was far from fine, but Johnny would find that out on his own when he got here.

“Are you at home?” Johnny asked. He switched his phone to the car Bluetooth as he pulled out of the parking lot. He had put in an online order at Yuta’s favorite Japanese place online before leaving and was going to pick it up now.

“Y-Yeah, I’m home,” Yuta replied quietly, “and T-Tennie’s at work.” He was on the couch, curled up into as small of a ball as his belly would allow, under a stack of blankets.

“Did something happen?” Johnny asked. He knew Yuta would hate him asking about the baby, but he had to. “Is everything okay with the baby?”

“No n-nothing happened. H-he’s fine,” Yuta choked out. He was barely able to contain the sob that threatened to spill from his lips. It  _ was _ the baby who was making him like this, but not because anything was wrong with him.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to talk about him,” Johnny said gently, “I just want to make sure you’re not sick or hurt. I’m almost at the restaurant, so I’ll be there soon.”

Yuta nodded, despite Johnny not being able to see him. He just wanted his damn food so hopefully the baby would be happy and he wouldn’t be such an emotional mess. He sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

Johnny took the phone with him as he ran into the restaurant, just in case Yuta needed something. Thankfully, the food was ready, so he grabbed the bag, tossed enough cash onto the counter to cover it, and rushed back out to the car. “I’m on my way, Yuta, I’ll be there in a few,” he said.

Yuta merely whimpered in response. He knew if he tried to talk he would dissolve into tears and that was the last thing he wanted right now. 

Johnny reached Yuta in a matter of minutes and rushed up to the apartment, pounding on the door. He finally hung up the phone once the door swung open.

Yuta stood there, still wrapped in all of his blankets, not sure what to think. The food smelled so good and it took all of his self control not to snatch the bag right out of Johnny’s hands. Collecting himself as best he could, he stepped out of the way so the older man could come into the apartment.

Johnny stepped inside the apartment and headed to the kitchen to unload the food. “I got a vegetarian okonomiyaki, I got some miso soup, I got a couple of side dishes. Where do you wanna start?”

Yuta shut and locked the door before following Johnny into the kitchen. “The soup,” he said quietly. He knew he must have looked like an absolute wreck, but for the moment, he didn’t care.

Johnny opened the container of soup and gently pushed it across the counter toward Yuta, digging through the bag to find the spoon. Once he had everything laid out and the bag was folded up and put aside, he didn’t know what to do. “Is everything alright?” he asked tentatively.

Yuta didn’t know how to respond to that. Everything wasn’t okay in the slightest, but he didn’t want to admit it aloud. Instead he focused on his soup and took a bite. And that was when the tears came. Try as he might, he couldn’t stop them; he was simply too overwhelmed. Welp. That was a good enough answer.

Johnny clicked his tongue when Yuta started sobbing into his soup. He rounded the counter and pulled the younger man into a tight hug. Whether he wanted one or not, he very obviously needed one.

On any other day, Yuta would have pushed Johnny away, but today he didn’t. Today, he leaned into the older man’s embrace, needing the comfort so badly. He began to sob harder, the food spread across the counter already forgotten.

Johnny didn’t quite know what to do. Yuta hadn’t asked for his support like this in nearly a decade and Johnny had no idea what would help him anymore. With a soft sigh, he gently pushed the soup back to the center of the counter and hugged Yuta tighter.

Yuta hadn’t been in Johnny’s embrace in a long time and he had forgotten how comforting it was. “I-I just want m-my life back. I j-just want my  _ b-body _ back,” he choked out.

“I know, I know,” Johnny said, doing his best to soothe Yuta’s crying, “let’s go sit on the couch and talk it out, alright?”

Yuta let Johnny guide him to the couch to sit down. Somewhere along the way he had lost his blankets and wrapped his arms around himself instead. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop crying.

Johnny got Yuta settled on the couch and backtracked to grab his blanket off the floor. He wrapped the large comforter around his friend’s shoulders before sitting himself on the other end of the couch.

Yuta pulled the blanket tightly around himself again, making sure he was completely covered. He tried to curl up into a ball again, which was impossible, and started sobbing harder. He hated everything about this and more than anything he hated that he was no longer in control of his own body. 

“Yukkuri, you need to breathe,” Johnny said gently, scooting a little closer and doing his best to unwrap Yuta. He tried to guide the younger man through some breathing exercises and was relieved when they began to work.

Yuta was grateful for Johnny’s help. He didn’t know where he would be right now if the older man wasn’t with him. “I’m sorry,” he said in a small voice when he had finally calmed down. 

“It’s okay, that’s what I’m here for,” Johnny said with a small smile, “do you think you’re ready to talk about it?”

“Ten can’t find out,” Yuta said quickly, “h-he’ll be so upset and I don’t know what will happen.” He knew Johnny wouldn’t go running off to Ten, but he had to make sure that it didn’t get back to his boyfriend through Taeyong.

“I know,” Johnny reassured him, “this stays just between us. Trust me, I know a thing or two about confidentiality.”

Yuta let out the breath he was holding. “Ever since I found out about this stupid baby, my life has been a nightmare. Everyone says pregnancy is so magical and it’s  _ bullshit.  _ I feel horrible all the time and I can’t do anything about it. Tennie was so excited when he found out, and I couldn’t ruin it for him. I really don’t want this baby, but I can’t tell him that,” he paused before continuing in a small voice, “and I just want to go home.”

“Do you think being home would make you feel more comfortable about being pregnant?” Johnny asked carefully. He didn’t want to make Yuta any more upset, but he needed to get a good scope of where Yuta’s head was at.

Yuta shook his head sadly. “I’m gonna be scared no matter where I am,” he said, “but I’d still rather be somewhere familiar. I just miss home and all of my family so much.”

“You know Tennie will understand if you talk to him about wanting to move back to Japan,” Johnny said, “when was the last time you talked to any of your family?”

“But that’s not fair to him. How can I say moving back to Japan is better for us than moving to Thailand?” Yuta asked sadly, “before I found out. I still haven’t even told any of them.”

“Ten goes to Thailand on a very regular basis for work,” Johnny said, “if I’m not mistaken, the majority of his international travel for them is to Bangkok and I doubt he leaves without seeing his family. You, on the other hand, when was the last time you were able to go home?”

“Years ago,” Yuta replied in a small voice. He was starting to tear up again and he was doing everything in his power not to start crying. His chest ached with how much he missed his home and his family. 

“And going home will make you happy, yes? It’ll make you less stressed?” Johnny asked, “I haven’t talked to Ten, but I know he’s not blind. Everyone can see how hard this has been on you and even if it may not be a feasible option until after the baby is here, I think you should at least breach the subject to Ten. You deserve to see your family, especially if being away from them is impacting your mental and physical health this much.”

“It’s not just missing home,” Yuta said, tugging the blanket a little tighter around himself, “and I haven’t even started missing home until recently. Who knows, maybe once the baby gets here, I won’t even want to go back.”

“Yuta, you’ve broken down three times in the ten minutes that I’ve been here,” Johnny said, a little sternly, “I’ve barely been around you except for that one appointment and even I can tell that something needs to change soon for you or things are just going to get worse.”

“How could things get any worse?” Yuta asked wistfully, “my life is coming apart at the seams, I’m terrified, I’m tired, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Well, you’re not at the point of hurting yourself, right? That’s a good thing,” Johnny said, “you’re willing to talk about it instead of isolating, you haven’t made any attempts on your life or the baby’s. That’s still pretty good in my book.”

Yuta sniffed. “I couldn’t do that to Tennie,” he whispered. As much as he didn’t want the baby, he could never bring himself to hurt him.

“And that’s good,” Johnny said with a smile, “but you’re going to have to tell him at least some of this at some point. Because you’re under so much stress and because you’re going through with a pregnancy that you don’t want, you’re at an increased risk of developing postpartum depression. If I were actually treating you, I would recommend that you start therapy now and ideally with Ten.”

Yuta shook his head. “I can’t tell him. Maybe about wanting to go home, but not about the baby,” he said firmly. That was one thing he wouldn’t budge on. 

“Anything that gets the dialogue open will help,” Johnny said, “it doesn’t have to be everything. But there’s clearly an underlying issue somewhere if you feel that you have to prioritize his happiness over yours, Yuta, and I’m not saying that to be a dick. I doubt it’s his fault, or your fault, but it’s something that’s going to need to be addressed so it doesn’t lead to toxicity and hatred later.”

“It’s not gonna lead to hatred,” Yuta said defensively, “these are my own issues and I should be able to solve them like an adult, but it’s a little hard when you’re not running the show anymore.”

“Solving them like an adult means facing the fact that you’re not okay and seeking help,” Johnny said gently, “if you continue to ignore the issues that are causing the issues, then you’re never going to be able to fix anything. It’s just going to keep getting worse and you’ll be miserable and yes, you might end up hating Ten, because all this started when he got you pregnant and he couldn’t tell that you were unhappy and now you have a kid you don’t want and you’re stuck at home while he’s travelling every other week and it’s absolutely miserable. It’s a very steep and very slippery slope, Yuta.”

Yuta was starting to get a little frustrated. He didn’t need Johnny nitpicking through his life. “Everything’s gonna be fine,” he said after a moment. 

“Look, I get that you don’t trust me, and rightfully so,” Johnny said with a sigh, “but this isn’t Johnny, your shitty ex, trying to tell you that your relationship sucks because he can’t get his head out of his own ass. This is John Seo, the psychologist, telling you that you’re going to get hurt if you don’t let someone help you. Hell,  _ I’ll  _ even help you if you don’t want to go see a therapist. All I want is to see you happy and safe, Yuta. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. And you can scream and yell and cry at me all you want if that makes it better, but I can’t just stop trying to be here for you.”  _ Not when it’s my last chance _ .

Yuta was actually a little surprised by how genuine Johnny sounded. “Where did this come from?” he asked quietly, “where were you years ago when I actually needed this support?”

“Not there,” Johnny admitted, “and I should have been, but I had my own trauma I was going through and I dragged you down with me instead of talking about it. That was wrong and I will never be able to apologize to you enough. You and Ten leaving was a wake up call for me. I went to therapy and finally talked about what happened and it turned my entire life around.”

Yuta sighed sadly. He wanted to believe that Johnny was a better person now, that he had grown up since college, but a small part of him was still hesitant to trust the older man again. What if he up and disappeared again when things got to be too much? “I don’t know what to do,” he whispered.

“I’m not saying you have to tell Ten everything, but I think being homesick is a good place to start,” Johnny said, “there’s been a weird energy between you two since the news about the baby came out and I don’t want to sit by and watch this ruin the two of you. I thought going to therapy was going to be awful, that it was going to be just a bunch of mindfulness and deep breathing, but it helped me so much, I even decided to go get a degree in it. I know it seems scary, but I promise it’ll help.”

Yuta nodded and tightened his arms around himself. He needed to think about this more when he had a clear mind. “C-Can I have the soup now?” he asked sheepishly. Now that he was starting to calm down, his appetite was coming back.

Johnny nodded and got up. He poured the soup from the container into a bowl, grabbed the spoon, and returned to the living room. He set the bowl on the coffee table and sat on the floor on one side of it as Yuta scooted to the floor on the other. 

Yuta unwrapped himself from the comforter and carefully maneuvered himself to the floor. He murmured a quiet “thank you,” before picking up the spoon and taking a bite. The soup was still warm and he had to force himself not to eat it too fast.

Johnny sat back against the armchair behind him while Yuta ate. He couldn’t keep his eyes away from Yuta’s belly. It had been almost two months since he’d last seen the younger man and the baby had grown quite a bit since then. He wondered if that was what had triggered this breakdown.

Yuta looked up and caught Johnny staring at him. He wrapped his free arm around himself and shifted so he was hidden behind the coffee table more. Even though it had been so long since college, deep down, he still cared what the older man thought of him.

Johnny sighed and looked away, trying to find literally anything else to focus on. Now that he had finished his little speech, he didn’t know what to say.

“You don’t have to stay if you’re busy,” Yuta said quietly, “I’m okay now.” He didn’t want to kick Johnny out per say, but he knew he had dragged the older man away from his work and he was starting to feel guilty.

“It’s okay,” Johnny said, “you caught me at the end of office hours and that was the end of my day. I mean, I can leave if you want me to, but I don’t have anything pressing happening.”

That made Yuta feel a little bit better. “Will you stay a few more minutes?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” Johnny said. He would honestly do anything Yuta asked. 

Yuta relaxed at that. He put his spoon in the empty bowl and leaned back against the couch. He wrapped both arms around himself, but he knew it wasn’t doing much. “Just...don’t tell Tennie you were here,” he said quietly, “I don’t want him to get mad.”

“The only time I’ll ever get Ten involved is if I think you’re at serious risk of hurting yourself,” Johnny said seriously, “and if you don’t feel comfortable talking to me, I can recommend one of my colleagues to you and he won’t tell me or Ten anything either except under that same condition.”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone else,” Yuta said quickly. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, but he would rather talk to Johnny than a stranger.

“Well, if you ever need to get anything off your chest, you can text or call me whenever,” Johnny said, “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Yuta smile softly. “Thanks, Johnny. That means a lot,” he said sincerely. His smile slipped off his face when he felt a tiny flutter. Instinctively, his hand moved to his side and he willed the baby to be quiet for the rest of the afternoon.

Johnny’s eyes followed Yuta’s movement and he sighed when he noticed how sad the older man looked. “You’ve had a lot of stress this afternoon; why don’t you go lay down and I’ll clean everything up before I head out?”

Yuta would normally have protested, but he was exhausted and there was no way he would be able to clean up everything on his on. “Thank you,” he said as he painstakingly pulled himself to his feet, “and thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“Of course,” Johnny said again, reaching out to help Yuta steady himself. He helped the younger man to bed and made sure he was falling asleep before exiting the room and returning to the kitchen. He packed all the food away into the fridge and made sure everything was cleaned up before he left. It would be just his luck that, as he was about to leave, Ten entered the apartment.

Ten froze when he came face to face with Johnny looking like he was just about to leave the apartment. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked coldly. He didn’t want to think about how long he and Yuta might have been alone together.

Johnny shushed him immediately, pulling him into the kitchen. “I just got Yuta to fall asleep,” he said in a low voice, “I brought him some food earlier and we ended up talking. That’s it.”

Ten ripped his arm out of Johnny’s grip. “If he needed something you should have called me,” he bit out, “and you talked? About what? Yuta doesn’t want to talk to you and quite frankly I don’t blame him.”

“He sent me the most unintelligible text so I called him and he was crying, so I just brought him what he asked for,” Johnny said, “if he didn’t call you, he must have had his reasons, so I didn’t question him.”

Ten took a step back and mulled over everything Johnny had just told him. “I think it’s time for you to go,” he said quietly. He needed to have a conversation with Yuta when he woke up.

“Look, I promised him I wouldn’t tell you what we talked about, and I’m sticking to that, but he’s hurting a lot, Ten,” Johnny said quietly, “you two really need to sit down and talk.”

“The only thing you need to worry about right now is staying far away from my boyfriend,” Ten said flatly. He drew himself up to his full height and looked Johnny in the eyes. He didn’t want the older man in any part of their lives.

“That’s not up to me or you, that’s up to Yuta,” Johnny said evenly, “I’m not trying to be a dick, Ten, I’m just telling you the truth.”

“I don’t want you near our baby either,” Ten said. Who the hell was Johnny to walk in here after years of being MIA and try to act like he knew what was best for Yuta?

“That’s something for you to discuss together,” Johnny said, “do you want me to leave or are you going to keep chewing me out for taking care of  _ your _ boyfriend?”

Ten glared at Johnny. “I wanted you to leave five minutes ago,” he said quietly. He was so incredibly angry and if Yuta wasn’t currently asleep, he would have ripped Johnny a new one.

“Whatever, Ten,” Johnny grumbled, “fuck me for helping out, I guess.” He walked out after that, taking care not to slam the door.

Ten rested his elbows on the counter and buried his hands in them. He exhaled shakily, not knowing what to think. Hopefully, Yuta would be feeling better when he woke up so they could talk.

Yuta wasn’t fully asleep and could hear Johnny and Ten arguing in the kitchen. He had hoped that Johnny would get out before Ten came home and that clearly, unfortunately, wasn’t the case.

Ten didn’t really know what to do with himself so he went to take a shower. He turned the water on hotter than usual, hoping to wash off his day and the stress that came with it. 

Yuta sighed heavily. Maybe Johnny was right. The pain and the stress of everything felt like he was being crushed under a giant slab of concrete and something definitely needed to change. 

Ten finally dragged himself out of the shower, skin bright red from the water. He dried off a little and wrapped a towel around his waist before quietly entering their bedroom to grab some clean clothes.

Yuta painstakingly rolled over and watched Ten get dressed. “How was your day?” he asked quietly.

Ten jumped when Yuta suddenly started talking; he hadn’t expected his boyfriend to be awake. 

“Hi, babe, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up,” he said, “my day was alright. Long, but we’re making progress.”

“I wasn’t asleep,” Yuta said, “you didn’t have to yell at Johnny like that.”

Ten’s eyes widened. “What’s going on is none of his business and if he was so worried about you, he would have called me,” he said slowly.

“He didn’t lie to you, Tennie,” Yuta said, “I called him in the middle of a breakdown and asked him to do me a favor and that’s fine. I didn’t ask him to stay after he brought what I asked for, but he did and it was a good decision because I really needed someone objective to talk to.”

Ten didn’t know what to think. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on or are you just gonna keep hiding from me whenever you get overwhelmed?” he asked. It was upsetting to say the least that Yuta had chosen to call Johnny over him.

“You were at work on the other side of the city,” Yuta said, “Johnny was at his office ten minutes away. It would have taken you forever to get home and that wasn’t going to work for me today.”

Ten sighed sadly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here for you today,” he said, “but I want you to talk to me. I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on. And I don’t particularly want to come home to Johnny standing in the middle of our living room again telling me my boyfriend called him completely distraught.”

This was the moment of truth. Yuta could take Johnny’s advice and tell Ten how he was feeling and take the risk of it not helping, or he could continue shutting Ten out and wait for all of this to blow over. “I was feeling really homesick,” he said slowly.

“That’s what made you so upset? Oh, babe, I wished you told me sooner,” Ten said. He walked over to the bed and sat down at the edge. “Was it just the food you wanted or your family?” He knew Yuta hadn’t talked to his family in a long time, but this had never come up before.

Yuta couldn’t help it. He burst into tears again. “B-Both,” he sobbed. He missed Osaka so much.

“Oh my God, Yuta,” Ten fretted, “come here, babe. We can try and get in contact with your family so you can talk to them. I’m sure they’d love to hear from you.”

Ten still didn’t get it. Of course he didn’t get it. And now here was the resentment Johnny had talked about. The psychology degree had apparently taught him something after all. “I need to g-go home,” he said. 

Ten’s eyes widened. “Go home? Like permanently go home or go home to visit?” he asked slowly.

Yuta took a deep breath. “I need to be near my family,” he said, lower lip still wobbling, “I haven’t seen them since undergrad commencement, Tennie.”

Ten reached over and rubbed his boyfriend’s back soothingly. “We’ll figure something out,” he promised, “it’s gonna take a little while, but I promise it’ll work out. We can talk about it more when you’re calm, okay?” He had no idea what to think, but he was determined to do whatever it took to make Yuta happy.

“I am calm,” Yuta said, wiping his face, “and I don’t want to let you just brush this off again. I’m hurting and scared and all I want is to be near my family again.”

Ten paused for a moment. “Do...do you want to go home before the baby comes?” he asked quietly. If that was the case, they didn’t have a lot of time to make this work, and there would be no way he could move with Yuta.

“I don’t think that’s particularly feasible, but I do want to go home once he’s here,” Yuta said quietly, “and I want to start looking now and talking about it now, not three months down the road when it’s crunch time.”

Ten nodded. “We’ll start looking now. I think it would be good to try and talk to your family ‘cause they might be able to help us out,” he said. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to do about work, but that was a conversation to have with his boss another day.

“And I - I know you worked really hard to get to where you are with work, a-and you don’t have to move with me, I’ll understand if you want to stay here and I’ll move with the baby and come back after a few months,” Yuta said, starting to spiral. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Yuta, stop right there,” Ten said, “I am not letting you move alone. And if we do this, we’re probably not going to come back. My job is not for you to worry about; I’ll figure all of that out.”

“I just don’t want to ruin your life,” Yuta said nervously. If both of their careers suffered, they would never be able to take care of the baby. 

“You’re not ruining my life,” Ten said soothingly, “and there’s absolutely no way I’m losing either of you just because of my job. I can get a new job when we move, but I can’t get a new you if I stay.” He loved Yuta so much and he would do anything to make sure his boyfriend was happy.

“You worked so hard to get to the idol level though,” Yuta said in a small voice, “and it gives you the opportunity to go home so often. I don’t want you to lose that.”

“I’m not losing you and I’m not losing the chance to be a part of our baby’s life,” Ten said firmly, “we have time to figure this out and I have time to talk to my boss and see if there are any agencies in Japan he can get me a job at. I have to stay to finish out this comeback, but after that I’m free to go.”

Yuta took a deep breath and nodded. It wasn’t everything, but he did feel lighter. Johnny was right. Talking about it did help. He just wished it was possible to talk about the rest of it. 

“You know you can talk to me about stuff like this,” Ten said a little sadly, “we’ve been together long enough that you shouldn’t have to bottle everything up to the point of cracking because you won’t talk to me. I’m always gonna be here for you, no matter what’s going on.”

Yuta sighed. “I know,” he said, “and I’m sorry I called Johnny. I just didn’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re never a bother, Yu,” Ten assured, “you’re my first priority always, especially now. I just want to make sure you’re safe and happy.”

Yuta fell forward and hugged Ten tightly. “I love you,” he mumbled. 

Ten hugged his boyfriend back gently. “I love you too,” he replied easily, “I promise I’m always doing my best for you. You just gotta talk to me if it’s not enough.”

“I know,” Yuta said quietly. He sat up and wiped his eyes. “Can we just nap?”

“Sure thing, babe, whatever you need,” Ten said. He loosened his hold on Yuta and guided his boyfriend to lay down with him.

Yuta carefully laid down, placing a hand on his stomach when the baby started to turn over. “We should start thinking about naming him soon.”

Ten smiled softly. “Have you been thinking of anything?” he asked.

“Not really,” Yuta admitted, “I just know that you and Kun were talking about it.”

“Oh yeah, Kun thought handing me a wailing Jisung was going to give me inspiration when in reality all it gave me was a heart attack,” Ten said with a huff, “what about a Japanese name?”

“We’ve been in Korea so long, it almost feels right to give him a Korean name,” Yuta said, “paying homage, if you will.”

Ten nodded. “I like that,” he said with a hum, “now the only problem is going to be thinking of some.” He wasn’t really good with thinking of names, but he was gonna have to figure it out soon.

“Maybe we can ask Tae for help,” Yuta said, “he has more experience with Korean names than either of us.”

“Oh, that would be a good idea. I’m sure they have a bunch that they talked about, but didn’t end up picking,” Ten said.

“I just want him to have a pretty name, honestly,” Yuta said.

“I’m sure we’ll find something that we both love for him,” Ten said, “Jungwoo might have some suggestions too.”

“I also want something gender neutral,” Yuta said quietly, “I don’t want him to ever feel confined to or by anything.”

Ten smiled softly. “I think that’s a good idea. After our nap I’ll start looking up some names,” he said. 

Yuta smiled and leaned forward to kiss Ten gently. “I love you,” he said again.

“I love you more,” Ten said easily, “and no, that’s not up for debate.”

Yuta wrinkled his nose but didn’t argue. He was tired of fighting. “Shut up,” he mumbled instead.

“Make me,” Ten said childishly. If Yuta was feeling better, he would have stuck his tongue out for good measure. 

Yuta rolled his eyes and kissed Ten again. “Shush,” he said, “it’s nap time.”

“Alright, alright, it’s nap time,” Ten surrendered with a chuckle. He wrapped an arm around Yuta and laid down more comfortably.


	7. Chapter 7

A few weeks later, Yuta still wasn’t entirely comfortable talking to Ten about his feelings. Johnny, though, had turned out to be an incredible resource. He had directed Yuta to a few forums on homesickness and on tokophobia, which were great, but he still wasn’t sure about talking to Ten. Near the end of May, he was finally cleaning out his office and had recruited Yukhei to help. There was no way to hide his belly from his other coworkers so he didn’t bother.

Yukhei did his best to shield Yuta from the glares of their coworkers, but it didn’t help as much as he would have liked. “It’s not gonna be the same without you,” he said as moved some heavier files into a box. Maybe their coworkers wouldn’t agree, but Yukhei looked up to Yuta a lot and was not looking forward to coming to work without the older man to turn to for help. 

“I’ll be around for a while,” Yuta said, “and even once Tennie and I move to Osaka, I’m sure we’ll be back and forth all the time.” He hadn’t told Taeyong or Kun about their thoughts of moving, but he knew that Yukhei and Jungwoo wouldn’t spill anything.

“You better come visit,” Yukhei said, “who am I supposed to bother when I have questions? And there’s no way you’re keeping that baby away from either of us.”

“You can call me literally whenever,” Yuta said, “but we’ll have to come back for Tae and Kun and the kids anyway.”

“Oh I see how it is,” Yukhei said feigning offense, “you’re not coming back to see me. You’re just gonna visit ‘cause you’ll happen to be here seeing your other friends.”

Yuta rolled his eyes and smacked Yukhei’s arm lightly. “You and Jungwoo are probably going to see us more than anyone else,” he said.

Yukhei pouted and rubbed his arm. “We are? I knew I was your favorite all along,” he said. 

“Well, Jungwoo said he would check in on me and the baby so we would be able to move to a new doctor easier,” Yuta said.

“As long as you’re not deserting us entirely, I guess I can accept you moving,” Yukhei teased, “but seriously, hyung, I’m glad we’ll still be able to see you. Jungwoo always comes home from work really happy on the days he gets to see you so I know he’s gonna take advantage of all the time he has.”

Yuta smiled at that. He was glad that he made at least one person happy. Things with Ten had been tense lately, and it didn’t help that the younger man was travelling more for work too.

“You know,” Yukhei began mischievously, “this is your chance to really fuck with the boss without any repercussions. Get him back for all the shit he put you through.”

“I still need him as a reference in the future,” Yuta reminded Yukhei, “I can’t destroy that relationship just yet.”

Yukhei deflated. “Yeah I guess so,” he muttered. He picked up some of the heavier boxes and put them on Yuta’s desk. “Where do you want me to start moving these to?”

“The one on top is everything you’ll need for the few open accounts that I’m passing over to you,” Yuta said, “the others have to go down to storage. I’ll start taking my personal stuff down to my car.”

“Wait, let me help you take your stuff to your car,” Yukhei said quickly. He had been put under strict orders from Jungwoo to make sure Yuta didn’t lift anything too heavy. He wasn’t exactly sure how heavy was too heavy so he figured might as well just help Yuta carry everything. 

“It’s fine, Yukhei, I’ve got it,” Yuta said. There was barely anything in the box to begin with, just his stationary and some pictures of Ten.

“Are you sure?” Yukhei asked nervously, “I really don’t mind taking a walk down.” He didn’t want to offend Yuta, but he wanted to make sure he helped out as much as possible.

“Yeah, there’s barely anything in here,” Yuta said, shaking the box for good measure. He waited for Yukhei to grab a box off of his desk before leaving the office, hitting the light on his way out.

“Alright, alright. I’m gonna bring this to my desk and then I’ll start bringing the rest down to storage for you,” Yukhei said. He glanced over his shoulder at Yuta before heading down the hallway.

“Thanks, Xuxi,” Yuta said, bumping the elevator button with his elbow. He was glad he had Yukhei to help him out, because he couldn’t imagine trying to move all this stuff on his own.

Yukhei flashed Yuta a smile before ducking into his office. He put the box on one of the extra chairs he had and decided he could tackle organizing that in the morning. For now he had to work on getting the rest of the boxes down to storage. 

Yuta carefully slid the box into the backseat of his car and headed back upstairs to see if Yukhei needed any help.

“I’m all set, hyung, you just make sure there isn’t anything else we missed and I’ll bring the last box down to storage,” Yukhei said. He rolled up his sleeves and grabbed the last box off of Yuta’s desk. 

“Thanks, Xuxi,” Yuta said with a smile, “you’ve been a great help these last couple of weeks.” He really was grateful for all that Yukhei and Jungwoo had done for him.

“Hey, of course. With the amount of times you’ve saved my ass since I’ve been here, the least I could do was help you get everything organized. I’m sure everything’s stressful enough as it is without all of this extra work,” Yukhei said.

Yuta couldn’t disagree with that. “I’ll let you get back to work,” he said, twirling his keys off his fingers. He could barely believe this was the last time he would ever walk into this place.

“Oh, yeah, haha,” Yukhei said rubbing the back of his neck. He paused for a moment before wrapping Yuta in a gentle hug. “I’m gonna miss you a lot, hyung. And I promise not to bother you too much with questions. You deserve to enjoy your time off.”

“I’ll miss you too, Xuxi,” Yuta said, hugging the younger man back, “don’t get into too much trouble without me.”

Yukhei smiled. “I won’t. I don’t think I’d be able to get away with it anymore anyway,” he said, “and Jungwoo and I are always around if you need anything before you guys move, especially with the baby.”

Yuta had always been miserable working here, but he had to admit, Yukhei had made the last few months pretty okay. Bearable, at the very least. He had a very melancholy drive home and wasn’t at all surprised to find Ten not there.

Ten got home a little later than he anticipated, which considering how things were going, shouldn’t have come as a surprise. “Hey, babe, I’m sorry I’m so late,” he called when he opened the door. 

“I’m in the bedroom,” Yuta called back. He had already unpacked his things from the office and was in bed, reading the news on his phone.

“How did everything go today?” Ten asked when he entered the bedroom. He rifled through his drawers to find some clean clothes, all too ready to get changed out of the sweaty clothes he currently donned. 

“It went fine,” Yuta said, “I had less than a box of stuff to take home after nearly a decade at the company. Real fun stuff.”

Ten frowned. “Hey, at least you’re out of that horrible place and you never have to worry about going back there,” he said supportively.

“Yeah,” Yuta said with a sigh, “Yukhei made the last couple months bearable though. I’ll miss working with him.”

“He’s a good kid. You know if you get bored around here when I’m working late, I’m sure he’d love to stop by after work and hang out. Jungwoo too,” Ten said. 

Yuta wasn’t going to inform Ten that it was actually Johnny he called when the younger man was working too long. The older man was just so easy to talk to now that he and Yuta had worked out their issues. Johnny had explained to him a few weeks ago what exactly had been going on with him back in grad school (“An explanation,” he said, “not an excuse.”) and had told him all about going to therapy and working through all of it. They were in a much better spot now, but he knew Ten would never believe that, so he said nothing.

Ten turned around, clothes in hand, to look at Yuta. “Do you need anything before I go take a shower?” he asked. 

“No, I’m alright,” Yuta said, “go shower, Tennie. You stink.”

Ten chuckled. “Love you too,” he called over his shoulder. He showered and ate in record time and was soon back in his room, ready to cuddle with his boyfriend and his baby for the rest of the night. “And how was your day, little guy?” he asked rhetorically as he crawled into bed and collapsed onto his stomach. 

“Oh, he’s been an absolute menace,” Yuta groaned, “there’s a body part in my diaphragm and I don’t even care to know which one, but it needs to move.” 

“Oh, baby, you gotta give Papa a break,” Ten said gently, “I’ll give you all the kisses in the world if you’re good for the rest of the night.”

Yuta poked at the top of his belly, trying to prod the tiny extremity out of his lungs. He frowned when nothing happened. At least he wasn’t kicking anymore.

“Did baby wear himself out?” Ten asked, “all that moving around made you tired, kiddo?” He leaned over and gently kissed Yuta’s belly through his shirt. 

Yuta sighed, knowing Ten was going to be all over his belly for an hour. He supposed he would let it slide this time, if only so he could reserve the right to reject Ten later.

The baby was actually relatively quiet. Ten was a little disappointed, but that didn’t stop him from telling his son, and by default Yuta, all about his day and how it had gone. He liked to think that the baby enjoyed his voice, even when he was asleep. 

Yuta found himself drifting off as he listened to Ten talk. It was a mix of Thai, English, and Korean, but Ten’s voice was just so soothing that it didn’t even matter. His hand twitched when he finally felt the baby move before a tiny foot jutted out right near where Ten’s face was.

Ten smiled softly and kissed the spot the baby just kicked. “Hello to you too, cutie. Did you have a good nap?” he asked.

Yuta had to smile. Even if he wasn’t happy about this whole thing, he could still admit that it was adorable the way his boyfriend and their son communicated. 

Ten pressed his nose to Yuta’s belly. “I know you’re probably raring to go now, but it’s almost bedtime so don’t get too crazy,” he said. 

Yuta flinched when Ten’s face hit his side. “That tickles,” he complained.

Ten chuckled. “Oh does it?” he asked. He rubbed his nose back and forth for a minute before placing one last kiss to his boyfriend’s belly and pulling away. 

Yuta rolled his eyes, suppressing a shiver. “You’re so bothersome,” he informed Ten.

Ten chuckled again. “It can’t be too bad if you still love me,” he said. He shifted up the bed so he could steal a proper kiss from his boyfriend.

“Do I still love you?” Yuta mused before letting Ten kiss him. 

Ten pulled back with a pout. “I hope so,” he said quietly, “I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”

“Of course I do,” Yuta said, “I’m never going to not love you, Ten. Even when you annoy the shit out of me.”

Ten smiled softly at that. “But it’s my job to annoy the shit out of you,” he teased, “our relationship wouldn’t be any fun otherwise. Although I have to admit, I think I’ve been doing a pretty decent job of being nice to you lately.”

“Sure, babe,” Yuta said, “are you done trying to keep the baby awake? I would like to get some sleep tonight.”

“I think so,” Ten said, “goodnight, munchkin. Goodnight, babe.” He stole one more kiss from each of his boys before settling down comfortably. “Get some rest, babe, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Things were...okay for the next couple weeks. Yuta had some really good days and some really bad days, but most fell somewhere in the middle. At the end of June, he had another appointment, one that Ten was actually able to go to. He’d been unable to keep from being disengaged the entire time, trying to ignore the noises of the ultrasound and the doctor’s comments on how big the baby was getting. He was sore and tired and just wanted to go to bed when they got home, so that was what he did.

Ten held onto the ultrasound picture they had gotten the whole way back home. He only let it go to hang it up on their fridge where they could see it. Afterwards, he followed Yuta into their bedroom. “I can’t believe how big he’s getting. I just can’t wait to meet him. We really gotta talk to Taeyong soon about some more options for names,” he rambled happily.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fucking great,” Yuta grumbled, arm flopped over his eyes, “fucking love your fucking spawn breaking my ribs. Super fantastic.”

Ten was a little taken aback by Yuta’s outburst. His boyfriend had been moody lately, which was nothing he couldn’t get used to, but he had never gotten so angry before. And to refer to the baby as a spawn? “Babe, are you...are you okay? I’m really sorry if he’s kicking you more than usual, but there’s nothing I can do,” he said slowly.

“Oh, yeah, I’m totally fine,” Yuta said sarcastically, “letting your son destroy my organs is one hundred percent what I want to be doing with my life right now. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Ten frowned. “I know you’re really uncomfortable right now and I’m so sorry, but he’s still  _ our  _ son. Do you want me to try to play some music and see if he’ll relax?” he asked.

Yuta rolled his eyes. Their son by biology maybe, but certainly not by desire. “No,” he said shortly, “I have a migraine, no thanks to this... _ thing _ .”

Ten took a step back from the bed and stared at his boyfriend. This was not the Yuta he knew in the slightest. “Our baby is not a thing,” he said, trying to keep his voice even, “what the hell has gotten into you anyway? I’ve never seen you act like this.”

“Nothing,” Yuta grumbled, “don’t worry about it.” He did  _ not _ need to have this conversation with Ten right now.

“No, I’m not letting you hide shit from me anymore. There’s something going on and we need to talk about it,” Ten said firmly, “you’ve never acted like this towards the baby so what changed all of the sudden?”

“Nothing fucking changed, Ten,” Yuta said, “I’m just in a shit mood, alright?”

“Really that’s it? You just happen to be in a really horrible mood after we got home from an appointment you barely paid attention in and now the baby’s kicking you? That’s not a coincidence. Please, Yuta, you can tell me what’s going on. I won’t be upset, but you gotta talk to me or I’m not gonna be able to help,” Ten said.

“It’s fucking nothing, Ten,” Yuta snapped, “can you please respect what I want for once?” 

“I always respect what you want, but it’s hard to let things go when you’re clearly hiding something from me. Remember what happened last time you hid something from me? You called Johnny in tears because you were so overwhelmed and once you talked to me we worked it out. So just for one time in this relationship can you talk to me and let me help you fix whatever’s going on?” Ten asked desperately. 

“There’s nothing going on,” Yuta said stubbornly, still not moving his arm off his eyes, “I just have a migraine and probably a cracked rib and I’m a little annoyed by the fucking  _ parasite _ you put in my body.”

That did it for Ten. “You won’t even fucking look at me and you’re gonna tell me there’s nothing going on?” he asked angrily, “how stupid do you think I am? And more than that what the fuck is wrong with you, calling our baby a spawn, a thing, and now a parasite. Shit, Yuta, it feels like you don’t even want this baby anymore.”

“I never fucking did!” Yuta finally exploded, “I have  _ hated  _ this thing since the moment I knew it existed, Ten!”

Ten froze, mouth opening and closing as he tried to put together the words he wanted to say. “And let me guess, you were never gonna tell me. So you were just planning on resenting our son for the rest of his life? I don’t fucking think so. Well finally some good news for you, the moment he’s born you’ll never have to worry about him again. I’ll take care of everything,” he said flatly. He wasn’t going to let his son live a life where he wasn’t unconditionally loved, even if that meant raising him alone. 

“What was I supposed to say, Ten?” Yuta snapped, “I’ve never wanted kids and I’m wildly uncomfortable no longer having control of my own life or body? Because I’m pretty sure I  _ did  _ say that and you just brushed it right off. I would never resent our son, and if I do, he sure as hell will never know it. I fucking sacrificed everything for this baby; you’re not just going to take him away from me.”

“Oh so now he’s our son and now you want him,” Ten said with a roll of his eyes, “get your fucking story straight. And I didn’t brush you off. We weren’t careful enough and we got pregnant and there’s nothing to do about it now!” Angry tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he promised himself he wouldn’t cry. 

“You were so happy, Ten! I couldn’t ruin that for you,” Yuta said heatedly, “I can handle going through things I don’t like to keep you happy, but you can’t expect me to be sunshine and rainbows about it all the time.”

“So you thought lying to me was the better option? You decided to go through with a pregnancy you didn’t want without talking to me and you expect me to be understanding? No way. I’m not gonna sit here and listen to you call our child horrible names because he’s kicking you a little harder. If you don’t want to talk to me, fine, but either keep all of your shit to yourself or none of it. I’m not playing games to figure out what you’re gonna tell me and what you’re gonna hide,” Ten said angrily, voice raising as he continued. 

“I was fucking scared, Ten!” Yuta said, sitting up finally and glaring at his boyfriend, “my sister nearly  _ died  _ after giving birth to my nephew; what if that happens to me?!”

“Scared?” Ten asked. Well that certainly changed this a bit. “You mean to tell me you don’t want kids because you’re scared and you never thought to tell me that? You didn’t even need to say anything about your sister, but we could have had this conversation long before you got pregnant. If we did, we would have been more careful and we wouldn’t be in this position. Do you not trust me to tell me  _ anything? _ ”

“I didn’t think I  _ needed  _ to tell you, because I never planned on having children, with you or with anyone else!” Yuta said, “I barely even like kids to begin with, even without the mortal fear of childbirth. Kids were never going to be in the cards for me! And quite frankly, Ten, we’re not Kun and Taeyong. We aren’t promised life partners; half the time I don’t even know if you still  _ like _ me. The kids conversation isn’t something you have until things start getting serious, and I didn’t think we were there yet.”

Ten took another step back from the bed. He was practically standing in the doorway at this point. “I love you so much and I’ve loved you ever since we got together. But you’re right, we’re not like Kun and Taeyong and we probably never will be. A serious relationship requires communication and trust, which you have absolutely none of. And that’s fine,” Ten said, “I think we really need to sit down and decide what we want to do moving forward because this isn’t going to work anymore.”

“Do you think I - I chose to feel like this? That I wanted to lie and keep secrets and create an endless loop of misery for myself?” Yuta asked, “there were a lot more factors at play here than you think, Ten.”

“But you’re not doing anything to get out of it,” Ten said angrily, “or maybe you are. I wouldn’t know because you don’t tell me anything important and whatever it is obviously isn’t working that well.” If he was being honest, he was beyond done with this conversation and was itching for an excuse to get out of the apartment.

“Taeyong is one of my best friends,” Yuta said, “he had so much trouble with his pregnancies and we managed it with one mistake. How am I supposed to look him in the eye and tell him that I don’t want the baby I managed to conceive so easily? Huh? I would have hurt you and Tae and Kun and everyone, so I would rather just hurt  _ myself.” _

Ten shook his head. “You need help, Yuta. You need help that I can’t give you. Holding onto all these stress and who knows what else isn’t good for you or the baby,” he said tiredly. 

“I’ve been getting help,” Yuta said evasively, knowing Ten would be absolutely livid if he found out that Johnny of all people knew about this, “I told you, I’m just in a shit mood today.”

“Well you need to do something different because it’s obviously not working. And a shit mood is an understatement to say the least,” Ten bit out, “I’m going to the studio and I don’t know what time I’ll be back.”

Yuta bit his lip but didn’t protest. He and Ten clearly both needed space to process this whole mess. He just hoped he didn’t lose Ten at the end of it. 

Ten grabbed his duffle bag and threw an extra pair of clothes in it and a towel he had lying on the floor. He took one last look at Yuta before shaking his head and walking into the kitchen to grab some snacks and a water bottle. Once he was sure he had everything, he left the apartment and drove to the studio as quickly as he could. 

As soon as Ten left, Yuta broke down sobbing. He grabbed his phone, sending a barely coherent message to Johnny. His entire world felt like it was crumbling apart. 

Ten didn’t even realize where he was going until he had parked in a spot. With a sigh he climbed out of the car and into the building. The good thing about working for the studio meant that he had free reign of any practice room he wanted. He picked one at the end of the hall, hooked up his phone to the speakers, and turned on the loudest song he had. 

Johnny barely even had to glance at Yuta’s text to know something was wrong. When he arrived at the apartment, the door was unlocked, so he opened it cautiously. “Yuta?” he called, “it’s just me. Where are you?”

“Bedroom,” Yuta called out meekly. He wasn’t even lying in a comfortable position, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to move. 

Johnny made sure the door was locked before going to find his friend. “Oh, Yuta,” he said softly when he saw just how miserable the younger man looked, “what happened?”

“T-Tennie and I g-got in a fight,” Yuta choked out, “I cracked and told him about the baby and h-he’s so  _ angry _ .”

Johnny sat on the bed and pulled Yuta into the tightest hug he could safely give him. “Did you tell him about your sister?” he asked.

Yuta nodded against Johnny’s shoulder. “He d-didn’t even care. He brushed it off just like everything else,” he said miserably. 

“I’m sure he’s just in shock,” Johnny said reassuringly, “it’s Ten. He loves you more than anything in the world, Yukkuri. He just needs to work through the shock and then he’ll be back.”

Yuta sniffed. “He...he said he would take the baby once he’s born, but I don’t want to lose him. I’ve been through  _ hell  _ and it’s not even over. I can’t lose the baby that easily,” he said. 

“Do you want me to be here when you talk to him?” Johnny asked, “or I can call in a colleague if that would make Ten less upset. Just something as a buffer. That’s some serious shit.”

Yuta shook his head. “If he finds out I’ve been talking to you, he’s gonna be even more angry. I’d probably lose him for good,” he said sadly.

“I know I’m going to sound like a dick for saying this, but,” Johnny paused for a moment, “if he would get upset to the point of leaving you over you making your own independent friendships and deciding when you’re ready to forgive and move on, then maybe it’s best for you to part ways, before there’s a child involved.”

Yuta sucked in a breath. “There’s a small part of me that doesn’t want to lose him and I don’t know why. He doesn’t treat me the same anymore, I don’t even know if he loves me like he claims, and when I admitted I was getting help earlier, he told me to do something different ‘cause it’s not working,” he said. 

Johnny frowned. That sounded like the Ten he knew, angry Ten, but nothing like the Ten that loved Yuta. “People can act erratically when they’re angry,” he said, “hopefully, he’ll come back tonight or tomorrow morning, coolled off, and you’ll be able to talk. Couples counseling could help as well. Not with me, obviously, Ten would never talk to me, but in general.”

“I hope so too,” Yuta said in a small voice, “sometimes I wonder if he’s only staying because of the baby.”

“Oh, Yuta,” Johnny said softly, “I haven’t been around Ten recently, but anyone can see how much he loves you and how excited he is to be a dad with you.”

Yuta sniffed. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way,” he mumbled, “I just thought once he knew everything he would be more understanding and he wasn’t. He wasn’t even sympathetic about the fact that everytime I take a breath it hurts because the baby’s kicked my ribs so much.”

“You just had another appointment today, right?” Johnny asked, “did you ask them about your ribs at all?”

Yuta shook his head. “I barely paid attention because I just wanted to get home,” he admitted, “I don’t even know if everything’s actually okay.”

“You should ask next time,” Johnny said gently, “it’s not normal for your chest and ribs to be hurting so much, especially with what happened to your sister.” He didn’t want to freak Yuta out again, but he had mentioned the pain to Johnny a couple of times and it concerned him that Ten hadn’t even noticed or cared. “Do you want me to order sushi for dinner?”

Yuta sniffed and nodded. “Yeah, sushi sounds good,” he said, “and I promise I’ll ask next time.”

Johnny nodded with a smile and got up, helping Yuta up with him. “You go get cleaned up,” he said, “I’ll take care of food.”

“Thank you,” Yuta whispered. He walked into the bathroom and winced at how puffy his face was. He splashed some cold water on it, hoping that would help and then trekked into the living room. 

The food arrived within half an hour and they sat on the couch to eat. Once they were finished, Johnny checked his watch and realized how late it was. “Do you want me to stay the night until Ten comes home?” he asked. 

“Will you?” Yuta asked quietly. He wasn’t even sure if Ten was going to come home tonight.

“Of course,” Johnny said with a smile, “where are your linens? I’ll set myself up on the couch for the night.”

“Would you...stay in my room?” Yuta asked hesitantly, “we have an air mattress we can set up. I just really don’t want to be alone right now.”

Johnny faltered for a moment before agreeing. Ten  _ really  _ wouldn’t be happy with that, but he would take all the heat for it and not let any fall on Yuta. “I’ll take care of setting that up if you can show me where it is,” he said. 

Yuta sagged in relief. “Thank you,” he whispered sincerely. He led Johnny into their room and opened the closet. He stood on his tiptoes to try and grab the box from where it sat on the upper rack. 

Johnny reaches over Yuta to grab the box, putting a hand on the younger’s back to prevent them both from falling. “I’ll set this up if you want to clean up dinner?” he said with a smile.

Yuta blinked up at Johnny. “Oh yeah, sure,” he said. He left the room to go clean up the kitchen. He was starting to waddle a little bit and it was not weighing very well on his psyche at the moment. 

Johnny got the air mattress set up and found himself some sheets and a pillow. Once Yuta was back and in bed, he turned off all the lights except the hallway light, both for Ten and so he or Yuta could see if they had to get up at all. 

Yuta climbed into bed and sighed in relief when he was finally off of his feet. He was glad today was almost over. “Thanks for staying with me,” he whispered after a moment. 

“Of course,” Johnny said, “I told you, I’m here for you. Anything you need, Yukkuri, I got you.”

Ten sat in the middle of the dance floor, chest heaving. The music was still blasting around him. 

He sat in silence trying to catch his breath when he saw his phone light up on the other side of the room. He pulled himself to his feet and went to check it. He gasped and cursed under his breath when he read the notification. He had a flight tomorrow for a two week trip to Bangkok that he had completely forgotten to tell Yuta about. Well this was certainly horrible timing. Ten rushed around the studio, cleaning up his stuff and putting everything back in order before rushing home. 

Johnny jerked awake when he heard the apartment door close. He assumed it was just Ten, but he kept his eyes cracked open and trained on the door to be sure. 

Ten tried his best to be quiet but it was hard when he was in such a frenzy. He carefully opened the bedroom door and stopped in his tracks when he saw the air mattress on the floor. His eyes trailed up the bed and he wasn’t surprised when he locked eyes with Johnny.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michelle has a message for y’all:
> 
> Hi everyone! First of all, I wanted to take a minute to thank all of our dedicated readers who have stuck with us through this series so far! Next I wanted to thank everyone who leaves comments (and such detailed ones at that)! Ashlee and I were so taken aback by how many comments were on the last chapter and we enjoyed reading all of them and hearing all of the different perspectives. It’s so cool to see all of your differing opinions all formed from the same story. I do want to apologize for not being able to respond individually to all of them but I promise we read them and talked about them quite a bit. We just wanted to say thank you so much for being so respectful even though we know these characters can draw out some strong emotions. We look forward to reading your reactions to future chapters and thank you so much to those who are just here to read. Ya’ll are amazing!! Thanks so much for all of your support and we hope you enjoy the rest of this story!!

Johnny didn’t say anything, merely reaching down and turning on the light on his phone to help Ten see, leaving the device on its side on the ground. He wasn’t going to harass Ten about where he had been; that would be pointless.

Ten was seething. Of course, Johnny, was here, of course he was. Of course Yuta had called the older man to come. Ten just scoffed and busied himself packing his bag as quietly as he could. The last thing he wanted was for Yuta to wake up because he knew he would snap.

It was easy to tell from Ten’s rigid shoulders that he was pissed. Johnny only hoped it was directed at him, not at Yuta. 

Ten threw his clothes into the bag, not even worried if he had everything he needed. He left the room without so much as a second glance behind him. After packing what he needed from the bathroom, he went into the kitchen and threw a couple granola bars on top of his bag. He was originally planning on leaving a note for Yuta, explaining what had happened, but he didn’t bother. He doubted his boyfriend would even care that he was gone. He had Johnny now anyway. 

Johnny frowned and carefully got up to follow Ten. “Is that it?” He asked quietly as he passed into the kitchen, “you’re just going to disappear on him?”

Ten whipped around and stared Johnny down. “I have a trip for work, but that’s none of your business. Just go back to sleep. I don’t need you breathing down my neck,” he snapped. 

Johnny took a step back from Ten, raising his hands in surrender. “Look, I’m just a middleman here,” he said softly, “does Yuta know you’re going on a trip?”

“No, I forgot to tell him,” Ten admitted, “but you can just tell him. He’d probably be relieved. We need a break anyway, but I’m sure you know all about that.”

Johnny couldn’t believe Ten. “How long will you be gone?” he asked before shaking his head, “it doesn’t matter. I can’t believe you’re pulling a stunt like this.”

Ten scoffed. “You’re one to talk about pulling stunts,” he said flatly, “and just for two weeks. You guys can have whatever fun you want and you won’t have to worry about me barging in.” He was so incredibly annoyed and he couldn’t wait to get out of the apartment and the country. 

“Was he just supposed to believe you had up and left him?” Johnny asked, “That’s one of the lowest, dirtiest, most manipulative things I’ve ever seen and it horrifies me that you would do something like that to him. And Yuta and I aren’t having fun or fooling around; I’m his fucking therapist, Ten.”

“I was gonna leave a note, but now I have you so there’s no point,” Ten said flatly, “his therapist? Cut the shit, Johnny, I don’t have time for this.”

“Why the fuck would I lie to you about that?” Johnny hissed, “believe it or not, I actually give a fuck about how Yuta feels going through with this whole thing; I know you don’t know what that’s like but I can promise you it’s good for him.”

“Is it? He’s been acting the exact same this whole time so I’m not sure what exactly you guys ‘talk’ about, but it’s not doing much. Who knows, maybe you’ll have a breakthrough these next couple of weeks,” Ten snapped, “and you give a fuck about him? Really, Johnny? You haven’t given a shit about him in years and now all the sudden you’re his angel? What is this about? Are you trying to get him back?”

“Therapy isn’t a perfect solution and things like antidepressants aren’t an option right now,” Johnny said calmly, “I’m doing what I can to make him feel less like shit, which is more than you’ve done for him. Yuta is and always will be one of my best friends and yes, the way I treated him during grad school was terrible, but I’m not that person anymore and I’m just trying to support a friend that is suffering.”

“I’ve been supportive, but if he keeps hiding shit from me what exactly am I supposed to do? Read his mind? Newsflash, that’s not how relationships work. Not that you would have any idea,” Ten spat out, “and you thought not telling me any of this was a good idea because? You’ve been sneaking around with my boyfriend for who knows how long and I don’t care what you’re claiming to help him with, that’s fucked!”

“Yuta asked me to keep what we talked about confidential, which I would have done anyway,” Johnny said, “that’s my job. I wouldn’t have been able to create a safe space for him if I was just a pipeline to you. These are things he didn’t want you to find out, specifically because you would react like this.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for being a little miffed my boyfriend refuses to talk to me,” Ten said sarcastically, “tell him that if he wants to break up, he better get his act together and say something before we try and figure out moving.” He glanced down at his watch and groaned when he realized he still had another hour before he had to leave.

“Yuta is scared, and he’s in pain, and he doesn’t know how to talk to you because he feels like you have an expectation that he won’t feel those things and that if he does, he’ll think they’re worth it for the outcome,” Johnny said, “and for the record, I told him that he should tell you all of this back in February, but anyone could have seen how miserable he looked when you guys made the announcement at Christmas.” Johnny sighed and looked down, picking at a spot on the counter. “He’ll kill me for telling you this, and maybe I shouldn’t, but I think you need to know how serious this is. Yuta feels like you care more about the baby and that once the baby’s here, you’re going to leave him in the dust.”

Ten paused for a moment. “I’m the only one that cares about the baby,” he said quietly, “But I’m not gonna leave him in the dust. I would  _ never  _ desert him. I’m moving to a completely different country for him. I’m  _ giving up my job _ for him. But you know, I guess none of that matters to him.” 

“Yuta does care about the baby, but it’s different,” Johnny said, “tokophobia is the irrational fear of pregnancy and childbirth and Yuta’s dealt with it since long before his nephew was born. He’s in constant heavy fear and he’s misappropriating that fear as hatred and anger because it’s easier for him to process. When he’s having a good day and I can actually get him to talk about the baby a little bit, it’s startlingly evident just how much he cares about this child. He appreciates everything you’re doing and all that you’re willing to sacrifice, but those things are material. It’s the emotional level where he feels neglected. From his point of view, every conversation you have is about the baby. All the affection you give him is aimed toward the baby. Of course, I don’t know what the objective truth is, but the objective truth doesn’t matter because it won’t change how Yuta feels except to maybe make him feel invalidated, which will make him isolate himself more.”

Ten took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. “We’ve already had this conversation and if he had brought this up from the beginning we would have been more careful and we wouldn’t be in this boat right now and  _ you  _ wouldn’t be here,” he said, struggling to keep his voice even, “he hasn’t said a single good thing about the baby to me, not even on his best days. And I don’t have to tell you this, but the only way to figure out whatever’s going on is for him to talk to me and he  _ won’t _ . I’ve tried for months, Johnny, and I know you have a better understanding of whatever’s going on so you know what? You go fix this. You go be the hero you’re so determined to be and I’ll wait until Yuta’s ready to talk to me or to leave me.”

“I’m not trying to be the hero, Ten,” Johnny said softly, “I know it’s hard to admit when you could have done things differently, and I’m absolutely not saying that you’re one hundred percent at fault here, because Yuta could have and should have talked to you right when you found out. Right now, though, you have to be the one to step and apologize and just be the bigger person for a little bit. Relationships are not equal input all the time; human emotions don’t work that way. But you’re the one that has to be willing to step up and say okay, I should have done this better, I’m sorry, and get that dialogue started. I can’t fix that for you.”

Ten shook his head. “I’ll worry about this after my trip,” he said, rubbing his forehead. He and Yuta had a lot to talk about and he was not looking forward to this conversation in the slightest. 

“At least wake him up and tell him you’re leaving,” Johnny said, “he’ll be devastated if you just disappear for two weeks like this.”

Ten rolled his eyes and dropped his duffle bag on the floor. He entered the bedroom again and walked over to the bed, careful not to trip on the air mattress. Taking a deep breath, he reached over and gently shook Yuta’s arm. 

Yuta awoke with a gasp, shaking. It took a moment for him to notice Ten standing over him. “Tennie,” he said, trying to sit up, “I’m so sorry, Tennie.”

“Easy, Yuta, easy. It’s okay,” Ten said. He gently stopped his boyfriend from sitting up and helped guide him to lay down again. “I, um, have a flight that I completely forgot about in a couple hours, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but it completely slipped my mind,” he said, “I’m gonna be gone for a couple weeks, but I’m sure Johnny will keep an eye on you for me.” He tried to keep the contempt out of his voice, but he wasn’t doing a very good job. 

“You’re leaving?” Yuta said weakly, tears coming to his eyes, “I’m sorry, Tennie, I didn’t mean for it to be like this, please, don’t l-leave me.”

“No, no, babe, I’m not leaving you,” Ten said quickly. His chest ached. He hated how upset his boyfriend was and he wished he didn’t have to go. “It’s for work. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Where are you going?” Yuta asked, trying to sit up again. He was successful this time and reached forward to hold Ten’s hands tightly. 

Ten sighed sadly and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He took Yuta’s hands and squeezed gently. “Bangkok,” he replied quietly. 

“They need you to translate,” Yuta guessed quietly, “that’s okay. I’ll...I’ll be okay here. Just come back safe, okay? We need you.”

Ten felt a pang of guilt when Yuta said “we.” “I’ll always come back to you. I love you so much,” he said sincerely. He paused a minute before continuing, “if Johnny helps you, it’s okay if he stays here.” He needed someone to keep an eye on Yuta while he was gone, especially now, and if Johnny could offer that support, he would have to take it. 

Yuta nodded slowly. “I’ll let him know,” he said, “I love you, Tennie, I really do, and I’m really sorry things went this way today.”

“I’m sorry too. I haven’t been here for you like I should have been and I’m so sorry I have to leave,” Ten said, “I love you so much.” He leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead. 

Yuta leaned into Ten’s kiss with a heavy sigh. “You should go before you miss your flight,” he said.

Ten nodded. He murmured one last “I love you” and stole a real kiss before standing from the bed and leaving the room. He walked back into the kitchen to retrieve his bags. “I want you to keep an eye on him for me, but I swear to God, Johnny, if you lay your dirty paws on him I’ll make sure you never see him again,” he said.

“What exactly is it that you think I’m trying to do to him?” Johnny asked, amused, “even if I was trying to get him back,  _ which I’m not _ , he only has eyes for you anyway.”

Ten glared at Johnny. “And it’s going to stay that way,” he said firmly, “you’re his therapist. Nothing more. You may be Taeyong’s best friend but you’re not his anymore.”

Johnny just nodded agreeably to get Ten to shut up and head out already. He knew all of this already and really didn’t need or appreciate the reminder.

Ten looked Johnny up and down one more time before grabbing his bag and stalking out of the apartment. He hated leaving Yuta behind, but he had no choice. 

Once Ten was gone, Johnny headed back to the bedroom. “How are you feeling?” he asked Yuta as he carefully lowered himself back onto the air mattress.

“Okay,” Yuta said in a small voice, “I-I thought he was leaving for good.” He laid back down, groaning when he realized the position he was in before was no longer comfortable.

“I’m sorry, Yukkuri,” Johnny said softly, “but he’ll be back. He would never just up and leave you like that. I tried to talk to him a little bit before he left, but he’s still pretty hostile toward me.”

Yuta sighed sadly. “I wish he wasn’t so thickheaded,” he said, “everything would be so much better.”

“He’ll come around,” Johnny said, “maybe two weeks apart will be good for you. Give you both some space to think.”

Yuta nodded and gripped onto the body pillow Ten had gotten him tightly. “He...he said that you could stay here if you wanted to,” he said quietly, “it’s okay if you don’t want to, but I...I really don’t want to be alone.”

“I’d love to,” Johnny said, “Tennie seems really worried about you.”

“Really?” Yuta asked in a small voice. He sniffled and did his best not to breakdown again. Even though his boyfriend was sincere before he left, it was hard to shake off their argument.

“I mean, he would rather I stay with you than risk leaving you alone,” Johnny said, “that says something right there. His worry for you outweighs his hatred for me.”

Yuta exhaled shakily. “I really wish he didn’t hate you anymore,” he admitted.

“He only ever knew me as the jerk I was to you when we were sleeping together,” Johnny said, “I don’t blame him for how he feels about me.”

“I just...I just don’t want to get stuck in the middle of anything,” Yuta said quietly. He loved Ten more than anything and he was so incredibly grateful for all of Johnny’s support, but he didn’t know what he would do if the two men couldn’t mend their relationship. “Do you hate him?”

“No,” Johnny said, shaking his head, “I used to, back when you first left, but I’m glad he got you away from me. I was bad for you and you never deserved that.”

“I don’t want him to do that again,” Yuta whispered. Maybe it was his emotions running high, maybe it was him holding onto the good things from college, who knew. But he really didn’t want to lose Johnny again.

“Hopefully he won’t find a reason to,” Johnny said, “we’re both completely different people than we were eight years ago.”

Yuta nodded, too tired to say anything else. He was absolutely exhausted, but it seemed like the baby had other plans than letting him get a good night’s rest. 

“Little guy woke up?” Johnny asked when he heard Yuta grunt. He shifted to sit up on his elbow.

“Yeah. He wakes up if I move around too much and I must have bothered him when I sat up to say goodbye to Tennie,” Yuta said tiredly. Tears of exhaustion were beginning to gather in the corners of his eyes and he just wanted to go to sleep so he could leave today behind.

“Is there anything that helps calm him down?” Johnny asked, sitting up fully. 

“It depends on the day, but talking to him usually helps,” Yuta said, “he loves listening to Tennie’s voice and almost always calms right down for him.”

“Do you want me to try talking to him?” Johnny offered, “I’m not Ten but maybe it’ll help.”

Yuta paused for a moment. He would take anything at this point, as long as he was able to get some sleep. “Sure, you can try,” he said quietly.

Johnny moved up onto the bed and laid on his stomach so that his head was near Yuta’s belly. “Does he have a name yet?” Johnny asked. 

Yuta shifted so that he was more comfortable. “No, not yet. Tennie and I talked a little, but we really haven’t been able to come up with anything. I want to talk to Tae and see if he has any ideas,” he said.

Johnny nodded. “Hi, baby,” he said softly, turning his head toward Yuta’s belly, “I’m your Uncle J.”

Yuta had to take a moment to register what Johnny said. He knew that’s what Chenle called Johnny, but he didn’t expect the older man to use the nickname for his baby.

Johnny continued talking quietly to the baby, mindlessly spewing off stories about Ten and Yuta to fill space. He hoped that it was helping to some degree.

Yuta felt his own eyes beginning to droop as Johnny talked. He smiled softly as he listened to the stories, some of which he completely forgot about. When he was nearly asleep, it dawned on him that the baby had actually quieted down. “He’s asleep,” he murmured.

“That’s good,” Johnny said with a tired smile, “I can keep going until you fall asleep too.”

“No, it’s okay. You sound exhausted. Thank you though,” Yuta said quietly. He knew he would be asleep soon anyway so there was no need for Johnny to stay up any longer than he already had.

Johnny carefully picked himself up off the bed, trying to create as little motion as possible, and laid back down on the air mattress. “Hopefully, he’ll stay asleep for a while,” he said.

Yuta hummed. “I hope so too,” he said, already half asleep, “thanks, Johnny.” He couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer and he didn’t bother. He was all too happy to finally be getting some sleep. 

Johnny was glad that Yuta fell asleep and let himself fall asleep once he was sure Yuta wouldn’t wake up again. Maybe this would all be fine. 

Yuta had no idea what time it was when he woke up, but bright sunlight was streaming through the window. Johnny was no longer on the air mattress and Yuta had no idea where the older man had gone. But what he did know was that the baby was sitting on his bladder and he really needed to pee. With a groan, he rolled out of bed and painstakingly got to his feet so he could go to the bathroom.

Johnny was in the kitchen, making some breakfast for himself and Yuta. He smiled to himself when he heard Yuta go into the bathroom. The younger man had slept for a while, which was good. 

The smell of food dragged Yuta down the hallway and into the kitchen. He hummed happily when he saw that Johnny was making them both breakfast. “That smells really good,” he said. As if on cue, his stomach grumbled loudly and he smiled sheepishly.

“It’ll be ready in just a minute,” Johnny said, “how did you sleep?”

“Actually pretty good,” Yuta said, sitting down at the kitchen table, “what time even is it anyway?”

“It’s a little before noon,” Johnny said, “but we were up pretty late, so I don’t blame you for sleeping in. I’m glad the little guy gave you some peace.”

Yuta’s eyes widened slightly when he realized how late it was. “Yeah, it was nice while it lasted, but now he’s making up for it by sitting on my bladder,” he said miserably.

“Hey, a little is better than nothing, right?” Johnny said. He slid a plate of French toast across the counter for Yuta.

Yuta nodded and immediately dug into the French toast. He felt bad that he didn’t wait for Johnny to sit down, but he was so hungry. “Thanks for cooking,” he mumbled through a mouthful of food. He hadn’t had a decent breakfast in ages considering Ten usually wasn’t home in the morning and he didn’t like to stand at the counter longer than he had to. 

“I figured if I’m gonna take up your floor space, I should at least contribute something,” Johnny said with a shrug. “I have to go and meet with one of my thesis students in a little bit. Will you be alright on your own for a few hours or should I call Tae?”

Yuta finished chewing and swallowed before speaking again. “I can text Tae and see if he wants some company for a little while. I could ask him about some name ideas too,” he said. 

“Great,” Johnny said, “I’m gonna stop at my apartment and grab some clothes and stuff too, but I shouldn’t be back any later than four. And you know you can always call or text me if you need anything.”

Yuta smiled softly. “Thanks, Johnny,” he said quietly. He munched happily on the French toast until he started to get full. He didn’t get through most of what was on his plate, but that was okay. He had been eating a lot more recently and a small breakfast for once certainly wouldn’t hurt. After texting Taeyong and asking if he could drop by for a couple hours, he stood up and brought the plate over to the sink.

Johnny took his leave a little while later so he could go home and change before he had to meet his advisee. Hopefully, everything would be okay with Yuta during the day. The day before had been an emotional rollercoaster and the younger man really deserved a break.

After breakfast was all cleaned up, Yuta drove over to Kun and Taeyong’s apartment, happy for the change of scenery. He took the elevator up to their floor and knocked gently on the door, not wanting to wake Jisung up if he was napping. 

Taeyong was all too happy to let Yuta in. Jisung was down for a nap, Chenle was off at Jeno’s, and Kun was at work, so he was beginning to get bored just staring at the TV.

Yuta hugged Taeyong tightly before he was even in the apartment. He just hoped he would be able to forget about everything going on for a while and just relax for a couple of hours. 

“How is everything? How are you feeling?” Taeyong fretted, helping Yuta over to the couch. He smiled when he saw the younger man’s belly twitch. “Oh, he’s squirmy today, isn’t he?”

“I’m okay. I’ve just had a long couple of days so I’m exhausted,” Yuta said honestly. He settled a hand on his belly, hoping that would help calm the baby down. “Yeah, he likes to make sure I know whenever he’s awake. I just hope he tires himself out today so he sleeps good tonight and doesn’t keep me up again.” 

“It’s so sweet, isn’t it?” Taeyong said as he sat down, “the little connection you have with him?”

Yuta turned his head down to look at his belly. Sweet was one of the last words he would use to describe what was happening to his body, but he couldn’t say that to Taeyong. “I’m still not entirely used to it,” he admitted instead.

Taeyong nodded in understanding. “As soon as you get used to it, he’ll be here,” he said, “Jisungie moved early and I still was never quite able to handle it.”

Yuta sighed quietly. That wasn’t exactly comforting. “I just want him to get here already,” he said. That was true, although not for the reasons Taeyong would probably think.

“It’ll be here sooner than you think,” Taeyong said wisely, “and when you see his little face for the first time? That’s a moment I wish I could go back to over and over again.”

A small smile pulled at the corner of Yuta’s mouth. He hoped seeing the baby would change how he felt about having kids, but a small part of him was still scared that nothing would change. “How...how did you do it?” he asked, changing the subject, “the last two months. How did you manage? I’m so uncomfortable already and I really don’t know what I’m gonna do for the next few weeks.”

“Oh, honey,” Taeyong said sympathetically, “I got lucky, really. Between Lele’s birthday and Kunnie’s birthday and Christmas, I barely had any time to think about anything else. And then I was on bed rest for the last couple of weeks, which meant I got to spend all my time with Lele watching movies and doing some crafts and stuff. I had a lot of distractions.”

Yuta sniffed. They didn’t have any birthdays coming up and with Ten’s hectic schedule he knew his boyfriend would barely be home to offer a distraction. And even with Johnny coming over more, the older man still had his work to worry about. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” he said miserably, “and look at me. I’m already huge and I know I’m just gonna get bigger!” This was supposed to be a relaxing visit, but Yuta quickly found himself getting all wound up again.

“Yuta, you’re beautiful,” Taeyong said, attempting to reassure his friend, “and I know for a fact that Ten thinks so too. He called Kun all worked up last night about you. I know it’s tough right now, but you’ve only got, what, six weeks left? And then he’ll be here and it’ll all seem like nothing.”

Yuta picked his head up and looked up at Taeyong. “Ten called Kun last night? About me? What...what did he say?” he asked in a small voice.

“I don’t know, Kunnie wouldn’t tell me,” Taeyong said, shaking his head, “but from what I overheard, it sounded like you two had argued and he was scared to death that he had lost you. You mean so much to Ten, Yukkuri, I don’t even think you realize.”

Yuta bit his lower lip so it didn’t wobble. Even though it hadn’t even been a full day yet, he really missed Ten and wanted his boyfriend to come home quickly. “He was scared he lost me?” he finally asked quietly, “I...I thought he was leaving me, but he had a trip to go on. And deep down I know he really loves me, but sometimes it’s hard to be sure anymore, especially now.” He paused for a moment before continuing in a small voice. “Did you ever feel like Kun didn’t love you anymore because of...how you changed?” He felt bad berating Taeyong with so many personal questions, but his insecurities were running at an all time high. 

“Oh, all the time,” Taeyong said, “it’s a big change especially when you weren’t expecting it. I didn’t even tell him about Jisung until I was already halfway through because I was so scared something would happen to him and those couple months were so hard. It was July and I was wearing sweatpants and heavy sweatshirts so he couldn’t see my body, and I was keeping this huge, horrible secret. It was awful.”

Yuta deflated and leaned back into the couch. At least he wasn’t alone in his insecurities, but from what he knew about Kun he knew the younger man would never love Taeyong any less no matter what happened. Ten on the other hand, even though they had been dating ever since college, he still wasn’t entirely sure his boyfriend still loved him, even after knowing about the phone call. What if he really didn’t and that’s why he focused almost all of his attention on the baby when they were together? He didn’t even realize he was getting lost in his own head. 

“Have you talked to Ten about any of this?” Taeyong asked gently.

Yuta jumped a little when Taeyong pulled him out of his thoughts. “No,” he answered quietly, “he’d just assure me that he’d love me no matter what and not to worry about stuff like this. And I want to believe him, but it’s just really hard when I know how different I am now.”

Taeyong sighed. He knew that tactic all too well. “Maybe something like couples counseling could help you,” he suggested tentatively, “even just one session. Having a kid is a big change that can lead to resentment and I would hate to see that happen to you two.”

“You sound just like Johnny,” Yuta said with a small smile, “I’m scared to bring that up to Ten because I don’t want him to get upset and defensive. We’ve argued so much recently and I would rather avoid another fight at all costs.”

“The longer you avoid it, the bigger the explosion will be,” Taeyong said, “but if you fought that badly last night that Ten called Kun crying, I’m fairly certain that things will change from here on out. Ten isn’t one to leave things unresolved.”

Yuta nodded. “No, he’s not. We’ll probably have a big talk when he gets back,” he said, “is it stupid that I miss him already and it hasn’t even been twenty four hours?”

“Of course not,” Taeyong said, wrapping an arm around Yuta’s shoulder, “he’s your guy, of course you’re gonna miss him. I’d be more concerned if you didn’t.”

Yuta did his best to hug Taeyong, but it was difficult with his belly getting in the way. He sighed quietly and clung onto his best friend as best he could regardless.

Taeyong let Yuta cling, then straightened up when noises started coming from the baby monitor. “Duty calls,” he joked, “I’ll be right back.”

Yuta regretfully let go of Taeyong and settled back into the couch. He felt a little bit better after talking to his friend, but no amount of talking would ever help him with all of his fears and insecurities. 

Taeyong returned to the living room a few minutes later with Jisung in his arms. “Look, baby, it’s Uncle Yu,” he cooed. He tickled the baby’s tummy, making him giggle and drop his pacifier.

Yuta mustered a small smile. “Hi, Jisung, did you have a good nap?” he asked quietly. He would have picked up the pacifier for Taeyong, but he wasn’t sure if he would be able to bend down enough to reach it.

Taeyong bent down to grab the pacifier and wiped it on his shirt before putting it on the coffee table. Jisung clearly didn’t need it at the moment. “Yeah, we slept a full two hours, didn’t we, Sungie?” Taeyong said as he sat with the infant on his lap.

“A two hour nap doesn’t sound like too bad of a deal,” Yuta commented. The baby must not have liked that the attention was no longer solely on him and he delivered a strong kick. Yuta’s hand flew to his side and he tried to hide a wince. At least his ribs were getting a break.

Jisung leaned forward, trying to reach Yuta’s belly. “What, you wanna play with your cousin?” Taeyong said, “you’re gonna have to wait a little, mister.”

“He’s okay,” Yuta said, “baby’s awake and ready to play already anyway.” He absentmindedly ran his hands in small circles and watched Jisung closely. This was going to be his reality in a few short weeks and it still hadn’t fully hit him yet. 

“Jisung’s new favorite game is slapping whatever his hands touch, so we’re going to keep him over here,” Taeyong said, just as the baby’s arm flailed and hit his chest.

Yuta’s eyes widened slightly. “Yeah, I don’t particularly want to get caught in the middle of a boxing match,” he said with a nervous chuckle. 

Taeyong sighed and moved Jisung’s hand away from his chest and down into the baby’s lap instead. “I didn’t know you were talking to Johnny again,” he commented.

“Oh, yeah. Tennie’s not really happy about it, but Johnny’s been a lot of help recently. He doesn’t fully understand exactly what’s going on, but he listens and offers really good advice. He’s even helped me through a couple breakdowns when I couldn’t call Ten,” Yuta said. 

“That’s great,” Taeyong said, “when he wasn’t at the party, I thought something might have happened again, but I’m glad that you two are making up.”

“It’s hard, but he apologized for everything that happened in college and told me the whole story,” Yuta said, “I’m still worried he’s gonna disappear again, but I think he’s grown up enough to not let that happen. Who knows if Ten’s gonna push him away though.”

“I don’t think Johnny intends to let himself get pushed away this time,” Taeyong said, “I don’t know what exactly happened, but I know he’s really happy to just be around you again.”

“I wish Ten felt the same way, but I almost don’t blame him. They’ve gotten in a couple arguments after Tennie has come home and found Johnny over. I know it looks really bad and I almost wonder if that’s why Ten’s been lashing out so much lately,” Yuta said quietly.

“I can’t imagine it was easy for Ten to watch you get pushed around by Johnny for so long,” Taeyong said, “I’m sure it’s all just a defense mechanism. Once he gets to know the real Johnny, things will be better.”

Yuta nodded. “I really hope so,” he said quietly. He still couldn’t take his eyes off of Jisung. The baby was absolutely adorable, but he had to admit he was a little glad he wouldn’t have to hold him.

“I have to say,” Taeyong said slowly, “selfishly, I’m really glad you and Johnny are talking again. You’re both my best friends and it sucked so much having to pick sides.”

“I’m sorry you got stuck in the middle for so long,” Yuta said sadly, “I didn’t even think about how hard everything has been on you too.”

“I didn’t talk to him for a while after you and Ten cut him off,” Taeyong said, “but he came to me and told me that he was in therapy and told me what had been making him act that way and I tried to push him to talk to you, but he just kept telling me he wasn’t ready.”

“I’m glad he waited a little while, but I wish it wasn’t this long,” Yuta admitted, “I didn’t realize how much I missed him until I started talking to him again.”

Taeyong nodded. Johnny was one of those people that was just easy to return to. “Well, I’m glad you two are friends again. The last couple of years have really taken a toll on him and I think being around you helps.”

“It’s the least I could do with how much he’s been helping me lately,” Yuta said, “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know where I’d be if he wasn’t around.”

“He’s putting that psychology degree to good use, I’m guessing?” Taeyong said, “I’m glad that he finally found a course of study that he really genuinely seems interested in.”

Yuta nodded. “Yeah, I think he’s a lot happier now,” he said, “but enough about Johnny. I came to see you.” 

“Oh, there’s nothing interesting about me though,” Taeyong said, “just this little guy. Huh, Sungie? Are you interesting?” 

“I would say so,” Yuta said. Jisung had given up on flinging his arms around in favor of chewing on his hand. “That can’t taste very good, can it?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, probably not, but it’s one of the better things he could chew on,” Taeyong said, “at least we know where it’s been.”

“How are you so calm about everything?” Yuta asked, “I’m freaking out and I don’t even have to worry about him.” 

“Oh, the first few weeks are terrifying,” Taeyong said, “but babies are pretty resilient and they kind of do what they want. We can’t keep him from sticking his hands in his mouth, even if it’s gross, and it keeps his toys out of his mouth and will help us get him to chew on teething toys easier too, so we just roll with it. That’s most of what parenthood is. Rolling with the punches.”

Yuta exhaled shakily. “I don’t know how you do it,” he said with a tone of admiration.

“You make mistakes and you learn from them,” Taeyong said, “no one actually knows how to parent correctly, Yuta.”

“But I’ve never seen you or Kun make any mistakes with Jisung or even Chenle,” Yuta said, “and I know I’m gonna be far from perfect, but I’m still scared out of my mind.”

“Just because you don’t see them doesn’t mean they don’t happen,” Taeyong said, “and mistakes don’t always mean a giant tantrum in the grocery store, they can mean Chenle not sleeping properly for three weeks because we didn’t explain to him why the baby cries so much. Which happened, by the way. You live and you learn.”

Yuta’s eyes widened. At least he only had one baby to worry about. “I’m just really glad I have Tennie. I’d never be able to do this alone,” he said. 

“Even if you didn’t have Tennie, you’d still have all of us, plus Yukhei and Jungwoo I’m sure,” Taeyong said, “everyone’s got your back, Yuta.”

Yuta actually teared up at that. “Thanks so much, Yongie. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said sincerely. He wanted to hug his friend again, but now there were two babies in the way.

Taeyong shifted Jisung to sit in the crook of one arm and wrapped the other one around Yuta’s shoulders. “You’re gonna be just fine, Yukkuri, I promise.”

Yuta leaned heavily against Taeyong. His friends had been nothing but supportive through everything and he didn’t want to think about where he’d be without them. “I’m really glad we met in college,” he said, “I know you wanted to murder Johnny and I every weekend but I’m really glad you didn’t.”

“I only wanted to murder you two once and that was when you put videos of me, completely crossfaded, calling Kun cute, on your Snapchat stories,” Taeyong said, “but it all worked out, so you were forgiven.”

“Oh my God, how the hell do you even remember that?” Yuta asked incredulously, “we were like your own personal matchmakers.” 

“You were heathens,” Taeyong said, “you got me crossfaded on like the first Tuesday of the semester, Yuta!”

“Listen, I may not remember what you’re talking about, but I can tell you for certain it was not a Tuesday,” Yuta said. He turned his head to hide his wide smile in Taeyong’s neck.

“It was  _ definitely _ a Tuesday,” Taeyong said with a smile, “you two were demons when we were in college.”

“Okay, if it was a Tuesday then it was definitely Johnny’s fault. I saved all my fun for the weekends,” Yuta said. He hadn’t been able to joke around with someone like this and it was such a relief.

Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Either way, that was the only instance where the two of you actually cheated death,” he said, “and look at where it all led.”

Yuta’s smile faltered for a moment. Sure, he wished he made a few different decisions and wasn’t currently seven months pregnant, but he wouldn’t change a thing he did in college for the world. “I’m gonna be honest, I’m surprised that’s the only time,” he said.

“Please, I like you guys too much to ever get really mad at you,” Taeyong said, “you know that.”

Yuta’s smile found its way back onto his face. “Yeah I do,” he said happily. 

“I would have been a mess without you having my back all these years,” Taeyong said, “and I’m always going to have yours. You know that, right?”

Yuta nodded. “I know. And I’ll never forget it,” he said, “thanks for letting me come over today. I’ve had a rough couple days and I really needed this.”

“Of course,” Taeyong said, “I’ll always have time for you, Yuta.”

Yuta leaned back and kissed Taeyong’s cheek. He stayed for a little while longer before heading back home to meet Johnny.


	9. Chapter 9

The next couple days went relatively smoothly compared to how everything had been going. Yuta had talked to Ten as much as he could and was glad that his boyfriend was taking advantage of being home as much as he could. One afternoon found him lying on the couch, a hand resting on his belly, watching a movie that he had been meaning to see for ages. 

Johnny was sitting at Yuta’s kitchen table, working on some grading. He could just faintly hear the noises from the movie and he was glad that Yuta had been feeling better. It had been a lot to be in such close proximity to him, but he felt like he was handling it pretty well.

Yuta was completely engrossed in the movie when an uncomfortable tightness suddenly spread across his abdomen. He sat up with a gasp, hand pressed against his belly, but it didn’t help. It felt like his insides were being squeezed together and he had no idea what was going on. He whimpered, not entirely sure if it was more from the discomfort or the fear.

Johnny had ignored Yuta’s gasp, assuming it was in response to the movie, but he couldn’t ignore the whimper that followed it. “Yukkuri, you okay?” he called, getting up from the table and going to investigate.

“Something’s wrong,” Yuta said panickedly. He had squeezed his eyes shut and was willing whatever was happening to go away.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” Johnny asked, rushing over and kneeling next to the couch. He pulled his phone out, ready to call an ambulance if he needed to.

“I-I don’t know,” Yuta whimpered nervously. As soon as the words were out of his mouth the cramping stopped and the discomfort ebbed completely. He slowly opened his eyes and took a moment to catch his breath.

“What was that?” Johnny asked, “was it like a cramp or something? Did he kick you really hard?”

“It wasn’t a kick,” Yuta said with a shake of his head, “it was like a cramp, but it was across my whole stomach. It was really uncomfortable. I-I don’t know what it was though.” He rubbed his hand over his belly nervously, hoping nothing was wrong. He wondered if something like this ever happened to his sister and it made him all the more worried. 

“Did it feel like it could be a contraction?” Johnny asked slowly, “when my sister was pregnant, she had these fake contraction things about a month before she was due. I don’t know if it happens for guys too, but I can look it up if you want.”

Yuta simply nodded. Fake contractions? That was the last thing he needed. He was already uncomfortable as it was; why did his body have to add to it?

“Fake...contractions...in...pregnant...men,” Johnny mumbled to himself as he typed it into his search bar. A moment later, he sat up, victorious. “Did it feel like this?” he asked, passing the phone over so Yuta could read the description.

Yuta took the phone read the first thing that had popped up. An uncomfortable tightening of the abdomen was exactly what had happened. “Yeah, this is it,” he said quietly. He kept reading, trying to figure out what it was and what to do.

Johnny carefully took his phone back and scrolled down a bit. “Why don’t you move around a bit, maybe go to the bathroom?” he said tentatively, “I’ll get you some water or tea or something.”

Yuta nodded and slowly stood up from the couch. He nearly fell back onto the couch as he was getting up, but he managed to stay upright. He cautiously made his way to the bathroom, scared that another one of these contractions was going to happen.

Once Yuta was in the bathroom, Johnny took a deep breath to calm his racing heart. That had been terrifying. If something serious had happened to Yuta or the baby, Ten would have killed him. Johnny finally got up and went back to the kitchen, getting Yuta a glass of water and starting a kettle for tea.

Yuta made his way back into the kitchen, still walking slowly. He grabbed the glass of water off of the counter and took small sips. “I’m sorry I scared you,” he mumbled, “I thought something was wrong and I panicked.”

“Hey, I’d rather you scare me and nothing be wrong than for it to be the other way,” Johnny said, “would it help if we called Ten?”

Yuta nodded in response to both the question and the statement. He went into the living room to grab his phone and dial Ten’s number. He put the phone on speaker and carried it back into the kitchen.

Johnny hadn’t realized that this was going to be a conversation with all three of them, but that was okay. Totally fine, yep. He pulled two mugs out of the cabinet and poured two mugs of tea for himself and Yuta.

“Hey, babe, how are you feeling?” Ten greeted when he answered the phone. “Just so you know you’re on speaker and Johnny’s here,” Yuta said. “Is everything okay?” Ten asked nervously. Yuta took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. I, uh, I just had a,” he paused to look at Johnny’s phone, where the website was still open, “Braxton Hicks contraction. It’s okay though. Everything’s fine. I’m fine, the baby’s fine. Johnny even looked up a couple things that can help, but I just wanted to tell you.”

Johnny finished making up the tea and slid Yuta’s across the counter to him. “It’s a fake contraction,” he said, directing it toward Ten, “my sister had a lot of them when she was pregnant with my niece. They’re completely harmless, but Yuta seemed so freaked out, I thought it might help him to just talk to you.”

“Oh, babe, that must have been so scary and I’m really sorry I’m not there right now,” Ten said, “did it hurt?” Yuta shook his head even though Ten couldn’t see him. “No, it didn’t hurt, but it was really uncomfortable,” he said. Ten sighed. “When we get off the phone, I’ll look into this more and see what else might help,” he said. Yuta bit his lip and glanced at Johnny. The older man already had that covered but he didn’t want to brush off Ten.

“I think it might have been because he was on the couch watching a movie,” Johnny said, “he was in one position for an extended period of time, so he got up and walked around a bit, I got him some water and some tea, and we’re all good now, right?”

“Yeah, everything’s okay now,” Yuta assured. “Alright,” Ten said quietly, “I’m glad everything’s okay and just let me know if it happens again okay?” “I’ll text you if it does or if anything else comes up,” Yuta promised. “Thanks, babe,” Ten said, “I miss you.” “I miss you too,” Yuta whispered.

Johnny clearly wasn’t needed for this part of the conversation, so he picked up his tea and returned to the kitchen table to finish grading. Ten and Yuta could have their privacy.

Yuta turned speaker off just as Ten was saying “I love you so much.” “I love you too,” Yuta replied quietly, “I’ll talk to you soon.” They said their goodbyes, not before Ten fretted over Yuta a little bit more, and finally ended the call. Yuta put his phone down with a sigh and picked up the mug of tea Johnny had made him.

Later that night, Johnny still felt a little off. He couldn’t stop thinking about the phone call and the way Yuta and Ten were so clearly and heavily in love. He had moved from the air mattress out to the couch; it just felt suffocating to be in Yuta’s space. Johnny wanted that kind of relationship so badly, not just with anyone but with Ten and Yuta. He knew he deserved the misery that watching them put him through, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. If anything, it hurt more because he knew he could have had that if he had been able to handle his emotions better (or his liquor). He wasn’t sure when tears started running down his face, but he managed to squish himself into the tiny couch, pull the blanket up to his chin, and let them run freely. Just for tonight, then he would bottle it up again.

Yuta wasn’t surprised to find Johnny missing from the air mattress in the morning, but what he was surprised to find was that the older man wasn’t in the kitchen. He thought Johnny might have left for a meeting, but he quickly realized that wasn’t the case when he found the older man asleep on the living room couch. He wondered why he had moved when he fit much better on the air mattress. As he got closer he noticed how swollen and blotchy Johnny’s face looked, and didn’t miss the tear tracks that ran down his cheeks. Yuta began to panic; he had no idea what was going on, but Johnny was obviously hurt and he didn’t know what to do.

The single tear track tickled Johnny’s cheek and in his sleep, he brought his arm up to wipe it away. Sniffling, he rolled over to face the back of the couch and pulled the blanket up over his head.

Yuta stood in the middle of the living room, not sure what to do with himself. He didn’t want to bother Johnny if he was trying to sleep, but this had to have been something serious. “Johnny?” he asked quietly enough that he wouldn’t wake the older man if he was still sleeping, “are you okay?”

Johnny grumbled in his sleep but didn’t wake up. He had never been much of a heavy sleeper, except when he wore himself out, and crying definitely did that for him.

Yuta took a few steps back from the couch. He would have to wait for Johnny to wake up before he talked to him. In the meantime he texted Taeyong, explaining what happened. If Johnny didn’t want to talk to him, he knew he would talk to Taeyong about what was bothering him.

Taeyong was a little surprised to have received a text from Yuta about Johnny asleep and crying on his couch. With a heavy sigh, he sent back a response about how Johnny was in the middle of doing his doctoral research on top of a full teaching load and how stressed he probably was.

“But he hasn’t said anything about any of that to me,” Yuta texted back. He hoped Johnny talked to him when he woke up. The older man had been so helpful with everything that had been going on and Yuta wanted to return the favor.

Well, there were a lot of things Johnny didn’t say to Yuta, but Taeyong wasn’t at liberty to disclose any of that. Instead, he bullshitted something about Johnny not having seen his therapist in a while and probably just feeling overwhelmed.

Yuta sighed. He texted Taeyong back a thank you and a promise to keep him updated. To kill some time he decided to make himself and Johnny some breakfast. 

Johnny woke up with a raging headache and a sore body. With a groan, he buried his head further under the blanket, squeezing his eyes shut. The last thing he wanted to be right now was awake.

Yuta heard Johnny groan, which was a good sign the older man was awake, but he didn’t want to bother him yet. Instead he finished scrambling the eggs he was making. 

Johnny knew he had to get up at some point, so he carefully unfurled himself and trudged to the bathroom. Hopefully, a little bit of cold water would hide the fact that he’d been crying.

Yuta sighed sadly when Johnny headed right down the hallway. Before the older man could come back, he sent a text to Ten explaining what happened and saying that he was worried about Johnny. He completely deflated when Ten’s response came in. “Why do you care so much? He’s a dick, Yu. He’s not worth the stress.” Yuta could feel the accusatory tone through the phone. “He’s not the person you remember,” he texted back, “he’s been so supportive these past few days and I just wanted to help. But forget I even said anything.”

Johnny washed his face a couple of times then went to get changed. He knew there was nothing he could do about how bloodshot his eyes were, but maybe Yuta wouldn’t notice.

Yuta put his phone face down and ignored the texts that were coming in. He didn’t want to argue with Ten, not today. 

“Morning,” Johnny said as he shuffled into the kitchen. His voice was low and gravelly, but that could be masked as sleep, he hoped.

Yuta looked up at Johnny with sad eyes. He could tell by his expression that the older man didn’t talk about whatever was on his mind, but he had to ask. “Hey, is everything okay with the air mattress? I saw you came to sleep on the couch,” he said softly. 

“Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep,” Johnny said quietly, “I came out here to do some work on my dissertation without waking you up and I guess I fell asleep on the couch.”

Yuta frowned. Johnny’s laptop sat in the same spot on the kitchen table he left it before they both went to bed last night. “Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright,” he said, turning back to the stove. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Johnny said, “just a little overwhelmed with work and whatnot. It’s thesis season.”

Yuta hummed, not entirely convinced. Johnny had never stressed himself out because of school before, but then again who knows what changed. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” he said. He plated the eggs, but he wasn’t even that hungry anymore. The smell was starting to make him nauseous. 

“Thanks, Yuta,” Johnny said with a tight smile. He took the plate of eggs and a cup of coffee over to his laptop, but both sat next to him, untouched.

Yuta watched Johnny for a moment before sighing. He put the leftovers into the fridge and the dishes in the sink. “I don’t feel good so I’m gonna go lay down. I’ll clean up everything later,” he said. With that he headed into the bedroom and slowly climbed into bed. 

Johnny just hummed, already absorbed in his work. If something was wrong, he knew Yuta would say something.

Yuta crawled into bed and settled on his side. Of course just in that moment, the baby woke up and decided it would be fun to play kickball with his kidneys. He sniffed and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain. He didn’t know why he had expected Johnny to be so open. He had run into trying to fix their friendship much too fast and the older man was obviously not as ready as Yuta originally thought. 

Johnny’s head dropped onto the table and he groaned. He couldn’t focus at all. Next to his head, his phone buzzed with a text from Taeyong. He scowled at it. He was  _ fine _ . It was a one night slip, that was all.

Yuta wasn’t able to focus on anything, much less take a nap. He was so worried about Johnny and it hurt that the older man wouldn’t talk to him after he had been so open. He was pulled from his thoughts when the baby kicked particularly hard. His hand came up to his belly and rubbed soothing circles. “Please, not now. Let me think about something else for once,” he begged. 

Johnny was obviously getting no work done, so he all but slammed his laptop shut and headed for the bedroom. Maybe a nap would clear his head. 

Yuta tensed up when Johnny stormed into the bedroom. He pulled the blanket tighter around himself and bit his lip to keep himself from making any noise.

With a sigh, Johnny settled on the air mattress, completely cocooning himself into the blankets. He sighed heavily, just wanting this day and Ten’s trip to be over already.

Yuta sniffed and watched Johnny with sad eyes. He thought that things would be a little better now that Johnny was here, but that wasn’t the case at all. Maybe having the older man stay wasn’t as good of an idea as he originally thought. 

Johnny wished he had thought to grab his phone off the table, but not having a distraction was almost cathartic. He had to confront his thoughts now. 

Yuta couldn’t take the silence any longer. “Why are you hiding things from me?” he asked quietly, “you said not to bottle stuff up and I’ve been talking to you so much, but now you won’t talk to me. It hurts.”

Johnny sighed and rolled onto his back. He should have expected this question. “Because it isn’t something I can talk to you about,” he said quietly, “Ten would kill me if I did and I would much rather be around to be your f-friend.” His throat caught on the last word, but he swallowed and suppressed it. 

“You’re not gonna tell Tennie what I’ve told you, and I wouldn’t tell him what you say to me,” Yuta said sadly. He knew this had to do with him and it hurt. He just wanted everything to smooth over. 

“It isn’t that I’m scared of you telling him, it’s that as soon as I vocalize it, I know he’s going to find out somehow,” Johnny said. 

“Will you at least talk to Taeyong? Or your therapist?” Yuta asked in a small voice, “and you know you can take a break if you need to. I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, I'll talk to someone,” Johnny said, “but I should probably let you know...I didn’t tell Ten anything you said or anything specific, but I did tell him some of the conclusions I had come to. He needed some help understanding why you were so upset. I’m sorry, Yuta.”

Yuta paused for a moment. “It’s okay,” he said finally, “that’s less I’ll have to tell him when we talk.”

Johnny still felt bad, and he felt bad that Yuta thought he didn’t trust him. “I do trust you, Yukkuri,” he said quietly, “but I just got you back. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I know,” Yuta said unconvincingly, “just don’t forget to take care of yourself too.”

“I’ll do my best,” Johnny promised. Between his dissertation, summer classes, and advising, he wasn’t sure when he would have time, but it was fine. He knew how to handle himself. 

“No, you’re gonna focus on yourself,” Yuta said firmly, “I know you’re busy, but if you don’t take care of yourself, you’re not gonna be able to help me.” He knew it was selfish, but he needed Johnny and he needed the older man to take care of himself. 

“Alright, alright,” Johnny conceded, “I’ll take care of myself. Don’t worry about me, alright? You’ve got your own little family to stress over.”

Yuta frowned at that. “I’d rather worry about you than the baby,” he admitted quietly. 

“I know, but I was really talking about Ten,” Johnny said, “he’ll be back in a few days. Do you know what you’re going to say to him yet?”

“No,” Yuta said quietly, “I don’t want to argue anymore and I’m scared if I say the wrong thing he’s gonna get set off again.”

“You can’t just ignore what happened,” Johnny said gently, “and we both know Ten won’t.” It occurred to him then that it was July and they were both laying in bed in the middle of the day. He sat up and tried to fix his hair. “Wanna go get ice cream or something?” 

“I know,” Yuta said sadly. He perked up when Johnny suggested ice cream. “Yes, please, I’m so hot,” he whined. Now that he was feeling a little bit better it was practically unbearable laying under the blankets. 

Johnny grinned and got up, grabbing some clothes to go get changed. Once he and Yuta were both ready, he grabbed his keys and helped the younger man down to his car. 

Yuta immediately rolled down the window when he got into Johnny’s car. “Being pregnant during the summer is horrible,” he grumbled, “it shouldn’t be allowed to be this hot.”

“You’ve only got a couple weeks left,” Johnny said, “and we all know Ten would have no problems with if it you decided to just live naked for those couple of weeks.”

Yuta froze and turned his head down. “I don’t want to be naked ever again no matter how hot I get,” he mumbled. 

“Well, that might make Ten a little sad, but I’m sure he’d get over it as long as you’re comfortable,” Johnny said easily, “you could talk to Tae about that stuff though. It’s been like five months and he still doesn’t like Kun seeing him shirtless.”

Yuta frowned. “I should have asked him when I went the other day. I didn’t even ask him about baby names!” he said, “that was the one thing I actually wanted to talk about and I completely forgot.” 

“Blame the baby,” Johnny said wisely, “he’s messing with your brain. I’m sure Tae will appreciate a FaceTime call anyway.”

“He’s messing with more than my brain,” Yuta grumbled, “I’ll call Tae when we get back. I just really want some ice cream first.”

Johnny pulled into the parking lot at the ice cream parlor. He helped the younger man out of the car and they walked over to the building together.

Yuta hated that he couldn’t do something as simple as getting out of a car on his own anymore. He didn’t know what he was going to do for the next two months. With a soft sigh, he followed Johnny and immediately got distracted by the long list of flavors on the menu board. 

“Get whatever you want, Yukkuri, it’s my treat,” Johnny said, pulling out his wallet. He squinted at the menu board then peered down at the tubs in the cooler. “They have matcha flavor; you used to love that, right?”

Yuta wrinkled his nose. Matcha used to be his favorite flavor of ice cream, but ever since he got pregnant even the thought of the flavor made his stomach turn. “Yeah, but that doesn’t sound that good right now,” he said a little sadly. He just wanted to be able to eat his favorite foods again without getting nauseous. It was another thing to add to the already countless list of stuff he could no longer do.

“Alright, how about chocolate?” Johnny suggested. Their turn was coming up soon and it was always good to be prepared.

Yuta nodded eagerly at that. “And I want sprinkles on it,” he paused when he realized how demanding he sounded, “please.” 

“Of course, Yukkuri, whatever you want,” Johnny said with a smile. He stepped up to the counter and ordered for both of them. “Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll pay?” he said to Yuta.

“Thanks, Johnny,” Yuta said with a sigh. He walked over to an empty table and carefully lowered himself into a chair. He kept his eyes trained on Johnny; he just wanted his ice cream already. 

Johnny paid for the ice cream and waited at the counter for both cups to be passed over. “You two are a cute couple,” the girl said kindly. “Oh, we - we’re not -” Johnny stammered.

Yuta couldn’t hear exactly what the girl said, but by the way she glanced at him and Johnny’s facial expression he had a pretty good idea. He wrapped a comforting arm around himself and looked down at the ground. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I just assumed -” “It’s alright,” Johnny cut her off, “thank you.” He took the ice cream and made his way over to Yuta, hoping he hadn’t heard anything.

Yuta couldn’t even look up at Johnny. He took his cup of ice cream and mumbled a quiet “thanks.”

“What’s wrong?” Johnny asked, sitting down across from Yuta and starting in on his own ice cream.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Yuta said quickly. He took a bite of his ice cream and hummed happily. It was so refreshing and a very welcomed distraction. 

“How’s your ice cream?” Johnny asked after a few minutes. 

“It’s really good,” Yuta said happily. He hadn’t had a treat like this in a long time and he was taking advantage of each bite. He paused mid chew when he felt a tiny tap. The baby hadn’t kicked him this gently in weeks. “I think baby likes it too,” he added quietly. 

“Oh no, I’ve given him a sweet tooth,” Johnny said dramatically, “how will you ever forgive me now?”

Yuta couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re absolutely ridiculous, Johnny,” he said with a shake of his head, “as long as he doesn’t want sweets all the time we’ll be okay. On second thought, he can be my excuse to eat more sweets.”

Johnny smiled. He was glad he had cheered Yuta up a little bit. He knew that the younger man had been having a rough time and that overhearing that conversation couldn’t have felt good, so he was glad to have made him laugh.

Yuta pouted when his ice cream was gone. It was really good and had helped cool him down a lot. 

“Here, have the rest of mine,” Johnny said, pushing his cup across the table, “I’m not going to finish it.”

Yuta smiled widely and snagged the cup. “Thanks, Johnny,” he said. He was a little sad Johnny’s ice cream didn’t have sprinkles on it, but he could get over it. 

Johnny smiled as he watched Yuta finish off the ice cream. He was glad that the younger man was having a good day.

Yuta sighed contently when he finished the ice cream. He sat back and rested a hand on the top of his belly. “I feel like I haven’t done something like this in forever,” he said. 

“You gotta get Tennie to take you out on more dates,” Johnny said, shaking his head with a fond smile.

Yuta sighed sadly. “I know, but it’s so hard with his schedule,” he said, “especially during comebacks.”

“He’ll be off for a bit once the baby’s here, right?” Johnny asked. He would be heavily disappointed if Ten was going to keep working instead of being home to help Yuta.

“I hope so,” Yuta said, “his boss knows about the baby and he usually gets a break after a comeback, but we never know.”

“Jeez, maybe moving and getting a new job will be good for him,” Johnny commented, “that scheduling is ridiculous, and it can’t be fully legal.”

“It makes him really happy and he gets some long breaks,” Yuta said, “it’s good and it’s bad, but we make it work as best we can.”

“Well yeah, but he can do a job that makes him happy that also gives him paternity leave and doesn’t send him on two week trips abroad at the last minute,” Johnny pointed out.

Yuta sighed sadly. “You don’t have to tell me this, but you definitely don’t want to say anything to him either,” he said. 

“If he neglects you while you’re home with the baby, no one will be able to stop me,” Johnny said, “Ten’s great for you, but he’s a little...oblivious.”

“He won’t neglect me,” Yuta assured quickly. He knew Ten wasn’t going to spend any time away from the baby unless he had to, which meant he would always be home.

“I believe you, Yuta, don’t worry,” Johnny said, “Ten’s great.”

Yuta’s shoulders sagged. “Yeah, he really is,” he said a little distracted. He missed Ten a lot and he couldn’t wait for his boyfriend to get home.

“He’ll be home in, what, two days?” Johnny asked. Not that he wasn’t glad that Ten would be home to look after Yuta, but he was a little sad that he would now be blocked from seeing Yuta again.

“Yeah,” Yuta replied, trying not to sound too excited. He felt bad talking about Ten so much with Johnny. 

“I bet he’s just as excited to come home as you are to have him home,” Johnny said. He knew Ten must have been dying to get back to Yuta, especially since Yuta had been having the Braxton Hicks contractions.

“I hope so,” Yuta said with a small smile. He looked up at Johnny and his smile morphed into a smirk. “So are we just gonna sit here for the rest of the afternoon or are we gonna go do something? And I know you have a lot of work to do, but you need a mental break and I’m gonna go stir crazy if we go back to the apartment.”

“It’s up to you,” Johnny said with a shrug, “I’m game for anything as long as it’s safe for you.”

“As long as it’s something inside and has a fan, I’m happy,” Yuta said, “I just want some kind of distraction.”

“There’s a conservation fair in the gym at the university,” Johnny said after a moment of thinking, “it’s in the gym. It isn’t exactly exciting, but it’s cold and you’ll be able to move around.”

Yuta was about to nod when he remembered he had been meaning to get new clothes. “Actually, do you think we’d be able to go shopping?” he asked sheepishly, “I’m running out of things that fit me.” Most of the clothes he wore nowadays were oversized t-shirts and they weren’t gonna work for much longer. 

“Oh yeah, of course!” Johnny said. He got up and helped Yuta up. “Let’s head to the mall.”

Yuta smiled gratefully when Johnny didn’t make a big fuss about the change of plans. “Thank you,” he said. The mall wasn’t that long of a drive from the ice cream parlor and soon they were strolling through the aisles of one of the stores, looking for the bulkiest clothing possible. 

“You know, there’s a whole section of maternity clothing,” Johnny said, “it might do a better job at supporting your belly and help with some of the soreness.”

Yuta nodded. That was definitely his best bet and as much as he had been trying to avoid maternity clothing, he didn’t have a choice anymore. He followed Johnny to the maternity section and sighed quietly as he walked down one of the aisles. Ideally he would love to hide his belly as much as possible, but that wasn’t an option considering they were in the middle of summer. 

Johnny had no problem acting as a temporary hanger for everything Yuta wanted to try, except Yuta took nothing off the racks. “Yukkuri, there’s gotta be something in there that you like,” he said gently. 

Yuta frowned. “It’s all gonna be too tight,” he said quietly. He knew the clothes would fit him fine, but he wouldn’t be comfortable wearing any of these clothes out, let alone in front of Ten. With a soft sigh, he walked away from the shirts and went to look at the shorts instead, maybe he would have better luck there.

“Stay here,” Johnny said, “I’m gonna grab a couple things.” He hurried off toward the plus size section, where he had seen a couple of light, loose sweaters that Yuta could wear over the tighter shirts. 

Yuta paused and turned back around. He watched Johnny disappear down the aisle and chew on his lip nervously. He trusted that the older man had spotted something that might work for him, but he was still uncertain of what he would come back with.

Johnny came back carrying a few different sweaters and pulled some of the maternity shirts he’d seen Yuta eyeing off the rack. “You can wear a tight shirt for the support and put a sweater over it to make it shapeless,” he explained. 

Yuta’s eyes lit up when he saw the sweaters Johnny had found. He wasn’t planning on being outside that often so he wouldn’t have to worry about getting too hot. “This is perfect, thank you,” he said happily, “I’m gonna go try these on.” Before he went to find a changing room, he grabbed a couple pairs of shorts to try as well.

Johnny smiled, glad that Yuta had taken to the idea. He sat on the bench outside the fitting room, playing on his phone while he waited. 

Yuta tried on the different shorts first and was surprised to find how comfortable they were. After he had set aside a couple that he wanted to get, he turned his attention to the shirts. He picked up one of the maternity shirts first and the moment he had it on he knew it wasn’t going to be enough. He quickly slipped on one of the sweaters and was happy with how light it was. Turning sideways, he examined how the sweater fit him. His bump was still clearly visible, but the sweater was still helping. Taking a deep breath he stepped out of the fitting room to show Johnny.

“Hey, those look great on you!” Johnny said with a smile. He resisted the urge to give Yuta a once-over; it had been a while since he’d seen him look so confident.

Yuta felt himself flush and turned his head down. “Thanks, Johnny,” he said, “I’m gonna get changed and then I think I’m all set.” He ducked back into the changing room, returning a little while later with an armful of clothes. “We can walk around for a little while or look for stuff you need,” he said as they headed to the register. 

“I guess I could use a couple new shirts,” Johnny mused. He had a conference coming up and most of his shirts were ill-fitting in some way or another.

“I can’t be the only one that gets anything,” Yuta mused, “and you know I have good taste in clothes so I’m sure I can help you find something.”

“I need some new professional clothes,” Johnny admitted, “none of my nice shirts fit right.”

“You don’t have any professional shirts that fit you?” Yuta asked incredulously, “Johnny, what the heck have you been doing?” He grabbed his bag of clothes and all but dragged Johnny to one of the suit stores at the other end of the mall. 

“I haven’t needed them in a while, but I have to present my research at a conference in September and I’d rather worry about the clothing stuff now than in a month when I’m trying to finalize my research,” Johnny said sheepishly.

Yuta clicked his tongue. “Come on we’ll find you something nice to wear that actually fits you,” he said, “what color are you thinking?”

“Oh, nothing special, I just need some nice white button downs,” Johnny said.

“That’s so boring,” Yuta said, but he walked towards the white shirts anyway. He thought of all of the dress shirts he had currently sitting in his closet and couldn’t wait until he could fit into them again. 

“White shirt, black tie,” Johnny said, “nothing too complicated.” 

Yuta hummed. He looked through the shirts and grabbed a couple that he thought would fit Johnny. “What about these?” he asked, turning to show the older man.

“They fit the requirements,” Johnny joked, taking them from Yuta, “I’ll try them on. Wanna find me a tie or two?”

Yuta rolled his eyes. “You’re not allowed to sass me while I’m pregnant,” he teased, “but sure I’ll go find some ties.”

Johnny ducked into the fitting room and slipped the shirt on. He buttoned it up and stepped out of the dressing room as he fixed his cufflinks. “How does it look?” he asked Yuta.

Yuta’s eyes widened and he sucked in a breath. Even though the shirt was simple, Johnny still looked incredible. Oh, this wasn’t good at all. “It looks good,” he finally forced out. He was almost reluctant to hand over the ties he had found. 

Johnny finished with his cuffs and took one of the ties from Yuta, quickly looping it around his neck and tying it. “Well?” he asked, “good?”

“Yeah. You clean up nice, Johnnyboy,” Yuta said, trying to hide how flustered he was. Damn his scrambled emotions taking advantage of him. 

“Haven’t heard that name in a long time,” Johnny commented. He turned back to the mirror, inspecting the shirt and tie.

“Not even from Yongie?” Yuta asked curiously. He had used that nickname almost exclusively for Johnny during college.

“No, Yong never called me that,” Johnny said quietly, “it was just you.”

Yuta smiled softly. “Let’s keep it that way,” he said, “it reminds me of all the shit we used to get up to. Taeyong and I were talking about college the other day and we really were some wild kids.”

“You and I were terrible influences on him,” Johnny said with a laugh, “us being terrible influences got him and Kun together, and is how we met Ten, so I guess it was worth it.”

“Yeah, but it was mainly you. I just went along for the ride,” Yuta said innocently, “it’s funny how everything came together.”

“Me? I just supplied the weed,” Johnny protested, “the alcohol was all you.”

“Okay, sure, but we smoked more than we drank,” Yuta countered. He couldn’t remember if that was true or not, but it sounded good enough to him. 

Johnny sighed and stood up straight. “I can’t believe you and Tae have got life partners and are both parents already. Meanwhile, I’m all alone over here.”

Yuta’s heart ached with guilt. This had come out of nowhere and he had to take a minute to form a response. “You’ll get your someone and your family soon,” he promised quietly. 

“I don’t think so, but that’s okay,” Johnny said with a sad smile, “I’m okay just being Uncle J.”

Yuta was struggling to keep it together. “Don’t say that. You never know,” he said, voice thick.

“It’s okay, Yuta, really,” Johnny said, “I’m fine with that.” He had lost the two people he loved years before and he knew he would never be able to find anyone else.

Yuta completely deflated. “Alright,” he said quietly. He wasn’t convinced in the slightest, but he didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

Johnny went and changed back into his normal clothes so he could check out. “Is there anything else you wanna do or do you just wanna head home?” he asked. 

“I think I just wanna go home. I’m starting to get tired,” Yuta said quietly.

“That’s fine,” Johnny said, handing over his keys, “here, you head on out to the car while I check out.”

Yuta took the keys and headed to Johnny’s car. He slowly climbed into the passenger seat. He stuck the key in the ignition before buckling up. With a soft sigh he leaned back in the seat and brought one hand up to cup the bottom of his belly. Overall today had been a pretty good day, but it was exhausting and Yuta found his eyes beginning to droop. Try as he might he couldn’t fight it so he let them close, content to take a little cat nap. 

Johnny finished checking out and headed out to the car. He wasn’t all that surprised to find Yuta asleep in the car. Carefully, he loaded everything in, started the car, and drove them back to Yuta’s apartment. Once there, he looped the younger man’s bags over his arm and woke him up. “C’mon, Yukkuri, let’s get you to bed,” he said quietly. 

Yuta whined when Johnny woke him up. He tried not to lean on the older man too much as they made their way up to the apartment, but he really couldn’t help it. He was absolutely exhausted and the baby must have been too because he was quiet. “Thanks for everything today,” he mumbled. 

“Anything for you,” Johnny said. He let Yuta lean on him as he fumbled with the keys. Once he got the door open, he guided the younger man inside but stopped in his tracks when he saw Ten waiting on the couch.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains a non-graphic description of sexual assault during Ten and Johnny's conversation in Johnny's office. Read at your own risk.

Ten jumped up from the couch when Johnny and Yuta entered the apartment. His mouth hardened into a line when he saw Johnny all but carrying his boyfriend, but his expression softened when he saw how exhausted Yuta looked. “Hi, babe,” he said softly, “how was your day?” He walked over to his boyfriend and guided him into his arms instead. 

“Tennie?” Yuta gasped, all but falling into his boyfriend, “oh my god, I didn’t think you’d be home until Saturday!” He hugged Ten tightly, neither of them noticing Johnny disappearing down the hall to gather his things.

Ten smiled widely and hugged Yuta back. “They let me come home early and I couldn’t not take it. I almost cracked and told you, but I really wanted to surprise you. And I won’t have to be going on any more trips like this so you’re stuck with me,” he said. 

“I’m so happy you’re home,” Yuta mumbled, burying his face in Ten’s neck. Johnny came out of the bedroom, dropping his bag near the door and going into the kitchen to pack up his laptop and research materials.

Ten glanced up when he heard Johnny’s bag hit the floor, but he quickly turned his attention back to Yuta. “I’m happy too. I missed you so much you have no idea. I thought I was gonna go crazy,” he said, “I’m never gonna be away from you that long again. I promise.”

“We need to talk,” Yuta mumbled quietly, “but first, I need to be in bed.” Ten helped him down the hall to their bedroom and Yuta barely even registered that the air mattress had already been deflated, rolled up, and put away.

Ten sat on the edge of the bed. He smoothed down Yuta’s hair and frowned when he noticed it was a little sweaty. He hoped his boyfriend wasn’t outside for too long in this heat. “What do you want to talk about?” he asked quietly. 

“Well, we need to talk about the argument, don’t we?” Yuta asked softly. He shook his hair out, trying to keep his sweaty bangs off of his forehead. On the other end of the apartment, Johnny slung his laptop bag over his shoulder, picked up his duffel bag, and left quietly.

Ten sighed and pushed the rest of Yuta’s hair off of his face. He stood up for a moment to turn the fan on. “Yeah, we do,” he said quietly, “I’m sorry that everything’s been so hard on you. I wished we talked about everything sooner, but there’s nothing we can do about that so we’re gonna work with what we have. I promise I’m gonna be a lot more supportive moving forward and I am never, _ ever,  _ going to leave you.”

“It isn’t that you haven’t been supportive,” Yuta said, biting his lip, “it’s just that you’ve been physically supportive and that isn’t really what I need. I need support that’s emotional. I need to be reminded that I’m more than just the baby, that I’m still a person once he’s no longer in me.”

Ten nodded. “You’re the love of my life, Yuta. And I promise I’m gonna show you how much I care. But I want you to come talk to me. Don’t hide what’s going on anymore, especially if it’s me. I want to help, I really do, but I can’t read minds.”

“I wanted to talk to you, so badly, but I was scared of how you would react,” Yuta said, “and I do care about him, I promise. You should’ve seen me the other morning when those contractions happened; I was freaking out that something was happening to him. If Johnny hadn’t been here, I don’t know what would have happened.”

“I wish I was here for you instead,” Ten said a little sadly, “but I’m here now and I promise I’m gonna support you. I know…I know you still care about him. And I’ll never fully understand how scary and horrible this all is for you, but I’m gonna try my best. I’m gonna be here for you through the good, the bad, and the ugly for the rest of my life.”

“I’m really glad he was here while you were gone,” Yuta said, “I know you don’t like him and I know you might not see it, but just having someone to talk to has been helping me cope a lot. He cares a lot and I wish you two would talk out your differences.”

Ten sighed. “I’m glad he helped you, I really am. I would never want you to be alone when I’m gone, especially when I know there’s someone who will keep an eye on you,” he said, “but it’s hard to move past everything. What he did to you was unforgivable, but you’re not the only one he hurt. And you have to understand how hard it is for me to see you spending time with him and being happier than you are with me. I won’t be hostile to him anymore, for your sake, but I want nothing to do with him.”

“He was hurting too,” Yuta said quietly, “and I know that doesn’t excuse what he did, but knowing what happened to him makes it easier to understand why everything happened the way it did. All I ever wanted from him was an explanation. I’m not happier with him than I am with you, but he’s one of my best friends, Tennie. I was so mad at him for so long and I’m tired of trying to hold onto that toxicity.”

“I’m sorry, Yu, but I’m not ready to talk to him. I’m not gonna hold him from seeing you though. And it’s up to you how much you want him to be around the baby,” Ten said, “I really am glad you’re getting your relationship back with him because I know how much he means to you.”

“Would you please at least try?” Yuta asked gently, “if you ask him about junior year, I know he’ll tell you. He wants to make amends with you, but he doesn’t know how to approach you.”

Ten took a deep breath. “Fine, I’ll talk to him. But not now, right now I have two weeks worth of kisses to make up for,” he said. 

Yuta rolled his eyes but leaned over to kiss Ten gently. “I’m gonna go say bye to Johnny,” he said.

“Alright. I grabbed some fruit on the way home, do you want me to make you a smoothie?” Ten offered. He stood up and helped Yuta out of bed. 

“You? Grabbing fruit?” Yuta joked, “but no, Johnny and I just went and got ice cream, so I’m okay for now.” He waddled out into the living room and frowned when he realized that Johnny and his things were already gone.

“That was the most terrifying shopping experience of my life, but I pushed through it for you,” Ten called down the hallway. He compiled all of his dirty laundry into the hamper and carried it out of the bedroom to head downstairs.

“He left without saying goodbye,” Yuta said sadly. He sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. Johnny had been behaving weirdly for the last couple of days and this just made him more worried.

Ten put the laundry down and sat down next to Yuta. “He probably didn’t want to stay now that I’m back,” he said, “did he at least send a text?”

Yuta checked his phone and shook his head. “He’s been acting really weird and closed off the last couple of days,” he said, “I’m really worried about him. He promised me he would talk to his therapist, but I don’t think he’s going to.”

“Does Taeyong know? If anyone’s gonna be able to get through to Johnny, it’s him,” Ten said. 

“I talked to Taeyong about it the other night and he said Johnny’s probably just stressed from his dissertation, but I really don’t think that’s it,” Yuta said, “he didn’t seem stressed, he seemed sad.”

“Just don’t get consumed in this please. That’s fine that you’re worried and I know you care a lot, but I don’t want you to be overstressed,” Ten said gently. 

“There are only three people that are worth the stress,” Yuta said, “you, Tae, and Johnny. I can’t stop myself from being worried about him, especially when he won’t talk to me about it.”

Ten sighed quietly. “Okay, but I don’t want you to be worried alone. Keep talking to him and Taeyong and I’m sure everything will be okay,” he said. 

Yuta sighed and painstakingly got up. “Come nap with me once you start the laundry,” he requested.

“I’ll be in in a few minutes,” Ten promised. He kissed Yuta’s forehead before picking up the laundry basket. He started the laundry and quickly made his way back up to the apartment. Before he went to lay down, he wet a washcloth with cool water so Yuta wouldn’t fall asleep while he was still a little sweaty. 

Yuta laid in bed, messing around on his phone. He still had another thing to talk to Ten about, his proverbial olive branch.

“Here, babe, let me wipe down your face before you fall asleep,” Ten said. He rounded the bed and sat down on the edge. 

“I’m not that sweaty,” Yuta said, but he sat up for Ten all the same.

“I just wanna take care of you,” Ten said. He wiped Yuta’s face and tossed the washcloth on top of the rest of his dirty laundry. He stole a quick kiss and then collapsed into bed, opening his arms for his boyfriend. 

Yuta settled easily in Ten’s arms. “Hey, babe,” he said after a minute, “what do you think of Jaemin?”

Ten paused for a moment. “Jaemin? For a name?” he asked, mouth pulling into a small smile. “That’s really cute. When did you think of this?”

“The other night,” Yuta said, “I’ve kinda been fixated on it for a while but I was, y’know, ignoring it.”

Ten hummed. “I really like it,” he said, “what does Taeyong think?” 

“I didn’t ask him,” Yuta said, flushing, “I completely forgot to when I was over there.”

“That’s alright, babe,” Ten said with a chuckle, “I know you’ll see him again soon and we can tell him.”

“So, is that it? Jaemin?” Yuta asked. He was surprised Ten didn’t have any ideas of his own.

“If that’s what you like,” Ten said, “and I know he’s our son, but you know him better than I do and if you think it’s perfect then it’s perfect for me too.”

“Well, I guess so, but you should have a say in it too,” Yuta said, “you’ve treated him a lot better than I have.”

“Of all of the things I’ve thought of, none of them really stuck,” Ten said, “I’ll probably just end up giving him a nickname when he gets here.”

Yuta smiled widely. “I’m glad it’s almost over,” he said with a sigh, “just a month left.”

“I know, babe. Hopefully he’ll be nice and well behaved,” Ten said, “and if not, he’s gonna get a stern talking to.” He tried to sound as serious as possible, but it wasn’t working very well. 

“If he’s anything like Jisung, I’m sure he’ll be an angel,” Yuta said. Taeyong and Kun had really gotten very lucky with how good their boys were.

“Jisung definitely took a lot after Kun’s calm composure,” Ten commented, “we just gotta hope Jaemin doesn’t take after you or he’s gonna be a little troublemaker.” He had heard plenty of stories of how wild his boyfriend used to be and between the two of them he had no doubt this baby was going to be a handful.

“Between the two of us, I am  _ not _ the troublemaker,” Yuta said, affronted, “those days are long behind me.”

Ten chuckled. “I know, baby, I know,” he said soothingly, “I guess I could take the blame if he turns out to be a wild child.”

“You definitely should,” Yuta agreed, “you were definitely the wild one when we met.”

Ten rolled his eyes. “What can I say? Kun was such a goody two shoes that I had to really even out the scales. Even Sicheng wasn’t that adventurous,” he said. 

“You literally jumped right into bed with your best friend’s new boyfriend’s friends that you had never met before,” Yuta said, “that’s pretty chaotic of you. Actually, I’m not even sure if they were dating yet when that happened.”

“In my defense, I like to think that all my decisions in college led me to right here. And I think they were pretty damn worth it,” Ten said. 

“Yeah,” Yuta said with a giggle, “they were. Totally worth it. Even sleeping with Johnny.”

Ten’s small smile faltered. “It wasn’t the worst thing about college that’s for sure,” he said. 

Yuta hummed and snuggled closer to Ten. “I’m really glad that you’re home,” he said quietly.

“Me too. Forget being worked to the bone, being away from you for that long was hell,” Ten said, “I missed you so much.”

“Have you started looking for things in Osaka yet?” Yuta asked.

“Yeah, I have a couple things saved on my laptop. There’s some really nice places that I think would be perfect, but I’m not sure how’d close they’d be to wherever your family is exactly,” Ten said.

“Oh, we won’t be living with my family,” Yuta said, “that would drive me insane. We still need our own space, Tennie, I just need to be able to see them when I need to.”

“Well yeah, but I figured you want to be on the closer side. Even if it’s ten minutes around the corner,” Ten said, “we can look more together after you’ve rested.”

Yuta hummed and closed his eyes, snuggling closer to Ten. “I love you,” he mumbled.

Ten spent the next few days showering Yuta and Jaemin in constant attention. Despite his protests, Yuta had convinced him to talk with Johnny and at least hear him out. And that was where he was now, texting Johnny to tell the older man he wanted to talk.

Johnny was surprised when he received a text from Ten asking to meet. He wasn’t expecting this to go well. With a heavy sigh, he sent a reply, asking if Ten would be willing to meet in his office at the university.

Ten replied with a simple “yes.” Johnny’s office would be perfect because it would be private enough, yet it would force things to stay civil.

Johnny sighed and cancelled his office hours for the afternoon. He didn’t want to have to kick out a student when Ten arrived, or make Ten wait.

Ten regretfully made his way to the university and up to Johnny’s office. He was doing this for Yuta, he kept telling himself. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door and hoped that this wouldn’t take very long.

“Come in,” Johnny called. He saved his work and put his laptop away, doing his best to clear off the desk and appear presentable.

Ten stepped into the office and closed the door behind himself. “Look I want to be here even less than you do, but Yuta wants us to talk,” he paused for a moment, “that being said. I do appreciate you keeping an eye on Yuta for me while I’m gone.”

Johnny nodded. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked, “not, like, alcohol, but I have water. Seltzer. Soda.”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Ten said politely. Now that he was standing in front of Johnny, he didn’t really know what to say. “He’s really worried about you. He said you were acting off the last couple days and he wants you to get help. I’m not here to talk about whatever’s going on with you, but my boyfriend doesn’t need anymore stress in his life and that includes you not taking care of whatever you need to.”

“You can sit, Ten,” Johnny said, “what are you here to talk about then?”

Ten took a seat across from Johnny. “I’m here to tell you that Yuta’s upset and worried about you and you need to get your act together for him,” he said. 

“I didn’t ask him to be worried about me,” Johnny said, “if you’re just here to be an ass, you can leave.”

“No, you didn’t, but this is Yuta we’re talking about. He cares about you on top of being hormonal and I really don’t want to add anything onto his plate,” Ten said. 

“Again. I’m not asking him to care, or to worry, and it isn’t like I can get him to stop,” Johnny said with a sigh, “I’ll stay away if that’s what you want, but that’s about all I can do.”

“See, here’s the problem. He wants you around,” Ten said, “just get some help. Go to your therapist, go talk to Taeyong, go climb a mountain. I don’t care. Just fix whatever’s going on.”

“Yeah, well, can’t do that,” Johnny grumbled, “it’s not something that can be fixed.”

“That’s it? Yuta’s worried about you, you won’t even give him a straight answer, and this is what you offer me?” Ten asked with a shake of his head. “If you ever get yourself together, I’m sure Yuta would love to see you, but keep whatever’s going on away from him.”

“What do you expect me to say, Ten? Either way, I fucking lose him again, so it doesn’t even matter,” Johnny grumbled, “either way, I’m the jerk that never changed.”

Ten narrowed his eyes. “So this is just about getting him back? You have a lot of fucking nerve,” he growled. 

“Oh my god, not in a romantic way,” Johnny said exasperatedly, “we were friends well before we ever started sleeping together.  _ That’s  _ what I want back. I respect your relationship, Ten, I’m not after that.”

Ten sat back and crossed his arms. “I hope you can see why I’m skeptical of all of this. And I get it, you had shit going on, but you never saw what everything that happened did to him. I did. And you never saw what it did to me either,” he said. 

“I’m  _ sorry _ , Ten,” Johnny said, “it’s been eight years, I don’t know how many more times you want me to apologize if you’re never going to accept it.”

“I don’t want your apologies. I never wanted them,” Ten said, “I just want you to get it together so Yuta stops fretting over you. And I don’t want to keep fighting, ‘cause I’m just as tired as your are, but my boyfriend and my baby are my top priority.”

“I get that,” Johnny said, “I’ll stay away, alright?”

Ten sighed. “You can be friends with him. I don’t really care what you do as long as Yuta’s happy,” he said, pushing himself up from the chair. 

“I mean, you do care,” Johnny said, “you’ve given me shit for so much as  _ thinking  _ about breathing within ten miles of Yuta. We both know you’d be overjoyed if I disappeared on him and never resurfaced. You could finally prove to him that I’m the jerk you’ve always said I was.”

Ten glared down at Johnny. “I don’t have to prove anything.  _ You  _ proved you’re an asshole yourself when you ditched the both of us without so much as a goodbye,” he said flatly. 

“Why does it matter, Ten?” Johnny asked tiredly, “I’m tired of playing this game where we argue about what Yuta wants and what’s good for him. We both know it’s best for everyone if I just keep to myself.”

“Then I guess that’s it then,” Ten said with a shrug, “you go your way, I’ll go mine and everything can go back to the way it was before you came crawling back.”

Johnny sighed. “I don’t hate you, y’know,” he said quietly, “I do wish everything had gone differently, but I’m glad Yuta has you.”

Ten took a step back and just stared at Johnny. “You don’t?” he asked quietly. “It doesn’t matter,” he added quickly, “but you were the one that made everything happen the way it did. We were waiting for  _ you.  _ We were ready to work everything out and you ditched  _ us _ .”

“What, eight years ago?” Johnny said with a snort, “nuh uh. You left  _ me _ . I just never tried to get you back. I knew I wasn’t good for you two, especially for Yuta. I didn’t want to keep hurting you.”

“Do you know how much he loved you? How many nights he cried himself to sleep because we lost you? We left because we weren’t hanging onto the false hope that maybe you still wanted us,” Ten said. 

“You think I didn’t do the same thing, Ten? You think it didn’t hurt just as much for me?” Johnny asked, “I was devastated, but I needed to do a lot of work on myself before I could even think about approaching you and by then, it was too late.”

“What even happened? What was so bad that you let all of us get hurt rather than just manning up and coming with us?” Ten asked accusingly. 

“It wasn’t something that happened while we were together, it happened when I was still an undergrad,” Johnny said evasively, “it fucked me up for relationships for a long time.”

“So you were just stringing both of us along the entire time?” Ten asked rhetorically, “that feels really good.”

“I wasn’t stringing you along,” Johnny huffed, “don’t take this the wrong way, but you were nothing. I was fine with you because I didn’t know you. We were basically strangers at that point. But Yuta…I was so terrified that he was going to hurt me if I let him in like that.”

Ten’s eyebrows shot up. “ _ You  _ were scared of  _ Yuta _ hurting you?” he asked incredulously, “Jesus, Johnny, that’s...I don’t even have any words. You two were friends forever and were even basically together and you never trusted him?”

“Trusting him was the problem,” Johnny said, “I was hurt very badly by someone I trusted very intimately. And I only met Yuta freshman year. It’s not like we were terribly close. We were more friends through Taeyong at that point than anything. Which  _ isn’t  _ an excuse,” he added when Ten opened his mouth again. 

“So you were fine with just fucking around, but the minute things got serious you backed off,” Ten said. It wasn’t a question. “Yuta doesn’t work like that. And l’m sorry for whatever happened, I really am, but how are we supposed to trust you not to flake out again?”

“That was all our relationship was at first, just fucking around on not quite the down-low,” Johnny said, “Yuta  _ used  _ to work like that. And then he caught feelings and I tried to ignore it as best as I could but I panicked because I had feelings too and I didn’t want to have feelings because I didn’t want to get hurt again. It wasn’t the smartest or most mature way of handling things, but I was, what, twenty-two? Younger when everything happened. I didn’t  _ want  _ to hurt Yuta.” 

“And have you told him all of this?” Ten asked quietly, “and does he know exactly what happened?”

“Yes,” Johnny said quietly, “I told him what happened. The party, the assault, everything. He deserved to know.” 

“The assault?” Ten asked, wide-eyed, “Johnny, what...what happened?” 

Johnny sighed, motioning for Ten to sit back down. “I was in a frat as an undergrad and I was really close with this one kid. He was a freshman when I was a junior, but he was almost as tall as me and worked out significantly more than I did. We had fooled around a little bit, but nothing more than a blowjob. I wasn’t interested in him romantically and he knew that. Or, I thought he did, at least.” Johnny swallowed heavily and stared at the desktop as he forced himself through the rest of the story. “Near the end of spring semester that year, the frat had a big party, and he got absolutely blacked out. I was trying to get him to a bed so he could pass out somewhere safe, but he got really angry when I tried to leave. He, uh, he forced himself on me and then passed out. I just...left.”

“Oh my God, Johnny. I’m so...I’m so sorry,” Ten said sincerely. He felt a little guilty now, but he still couldn’t forget how much Johnny had hurt Yuta.

Johnny shrugged. “I’m over it now, mostly, but when it happened, there wasn’t much I could do about it. I knew I couldn’t report it, because I’m a guy and we had fooled around before, and I couldn’t disaffiliate to avoid him or get him disaffiliated because that would mean reporting it and he didn’t even remember  _ doing _ it. I didn’t tell Yuta, I didn’t tell Taeyong, I just...kept it to myself.”

Ten sighed sadly. “I’m glad you got some help,” he said, “does being around Yuta again help you? You’re so good for him, especially recently and it would kill him if you disappeared on him again. Hell it would kill me too.”

“It does and it doesn’t,” Johnny said, “I’m glad to have him as a friend again and to be able to help him work through his issues, but...I won’t lie, it aches a bit.”

Ten shifted in his seat. He could get over Johnny and Yuta becoming friends again, but if the older man started pushing for more he wouldn’t tolerate it. “What exactly do you plan on doing then? Being friends with him when you can handle it and disappearing when you can’t?” he asked. 

“I don’t want to,” Johnny said, “but there’s only so much time around the two of you that I can handle. And I don’t know if it’s specifically because it’s you two or if it’s just me being lonely. It’s hard to be around Yong and Kun too, but not nearly as hard as it is to be around you and Yuta.”

Ten hummed. There wasn’t really anything he could do about that. “I’m not gonna keep him from you. That wouldn’t be fair,” he said, “and I know he wants you to be part of the baby’s life.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Johnny said quietly, “I think it’s better if I just stay away. I have all my dissertation work still anyway.”

Ten sighed. “I’m not here to argue with you, but I think you should know that Yuta has three people he cares about. And it’s me, Taeyong, and you,” he said. He stood up again, not intending on getting dragged back into staying.

“I know,” Johnny said quietly, “and I appreciate you coming down here to talk and listen to my sob story, but I just…”  _ I’m still in love with you guys _ , “I can’t.”

Ten nodded. “You know where to find us if anything changes,” he said. He left Johnny’s office and headed back to his apartment. He had done his best and hopefully Yuta would understand that.

When Ten left, Johnny got up and locked his office door. He needed a drink, a strong one, but working on his thesis was just as mind-numbing, so that was what he did. 

Ten entered the apartment quietly, not sure if Yuta was asleep or not. He went into the kitchen first to get a drink of water. That conversation could have gone a lot worse, but he felt like nothing was done. 

Yuta roused when he heard Ten come in. With a groan, he sat up in bed and turned the TV off. “Hey,” he said quietly when he walked into the kitchen, “you’re home late.”

Ten turned around and smiled softly when he saw Yuta. “I went to talk to Johnny,” he explained. 

“You did?” Yuta asked, “how did it go? Did he tell you what’s wrong?”

“Better than past conversations but still not great,” Ten said, “he told me what happened in college and why he did what he did. And he also said he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to be around us. I tried to tell him you need him, but I guess it’s just too hard for him.”

Yuta sighed sadly. “I wish he had felt that he could say something to me and Tae back when that happened,” he said quietly, “I would have backed off of him a little bit, let him come to me instead. I’m not really surprised that he doesn’t want to be around us though. I think it brings back bad memories for him.”

Ten hummed. “I think he was right. I think it’s better for everyone if he just stays away. I’m really sorry, Yu, but I think you have to let him go,” he said gently. 

Yuta sighed sadly. “It’s just makes me so upset, knowing that he’s suffering and he’s alone and there’s nothing we can do to help,” he said softly, feeling tears gather in his eyes.

“Come here, babe,” Ten said, wrapping Yuta in a hug, “he’s an adult, he can figure himself out. And he’s got a therapist and Taeyong if he really needs him. We gotta focus on us or we’re just gonna get hurt again.”

“But it’s Johnny!” Yuta said, “you and I both know he’s not going to talk to Taeyong  _ or  _ his therapist about any of this. He isn’t going to hurt us, he’s just going to hurt himself!”

“You just said it yourself, there’s nothing we can do,” Ten said, “and when I brought up that you were worried about him, he brushed it off. He said he knew, but that he didn’t ask you to be worried.”

“He’s right, he didn’t,” Yuta said, “and there’s nothing he could do to make me less worried and he knows that. We talked about that. I just...I wish he wasn’t so dead set on being a martyr over whatever this is.”

“I don’t know what to do for you, babe,” Ten said sadly, “but what I do know is that this is way too much stress for you right now.”

Yuta sighed heavily. “I know,” he said, “I just miss him so much. Even when he’s here, he’s not really… _ here _ .”

“He said he just wanted his friendship back with you, but if he can’t handle being around you I don’t know how that’s supposed to happen,” Ten said gently, “I really don’t think it’s good for you to dwell on this.”

“Tennie, do you think…” Yuta trailed off then shook his head. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

“Do I think what?” Ten prompted, “it’s okay, babe. You can tell me.” He was a little hesitant to see where this was going.

“No, really, it was dumb,” Yuta said evasively, “come on, let’s go to bed.”

“Yuta, we’re not hiding anything from each other anymore,” Ten said firmly. He held onto Yuta so he couldn’t retreat into the bedroom. “Please just tell me.”

“I’m not hiding anything,” Yuta said, “it was just a dumb question, it didn’t even make sense.” He pulled himself out of Ten’s grip and pulled his boyfriend down the hall with him.

Ten rolled his eyes. “Okay,” he said, completely unconvinced. He let Yuta pull him down the hallway, but he wasn’t tired enough to take a nap.

Yuta sighed and snuggled up to Ten. As much as he knew keeping things from Ten made him upset, he’d would rather Ten be upset for that than think that Yuta still wanted Johnny. Which he didn’t. At all.

Ten wrapped an arm around Yuta, while he scrolled through his phone with his free hand. “Has Jaemin been well behaved today?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah, he’s been okay,” Yuta said, “they quiet down near the end.”

Ten smiled softly. “Are you excited to meet him?” he asked carefully. He knew Yuta was more excited for everything to just be over, but he had to ask anyway.

“I...am,” Yuta said slowly, “I don’t know if it’s really excitement or relief but I’m glad he’ll be here soon.”

Ten nodded and turned his head to kiss Yuta’s forehead. “Just a few more weeks and then it’ll all be over and you’ll never have to go through anything like this again,” he said.

“If you want another one, you’re going through all of this,” Yuta mumbled. At this point, they were already going to have one kid, so he wasn’t opposed to more.

“One is way more than enough for me, but thanks for the offer,” Ten said with a chuckle, “if we want more we can just borrow Chenle and Jisung for a little while.”

“Chenle maybe, but I don’t think Tae’s letting Jisung leave his sight any time soon,” Yuta said, “although Lele’s probably a package deal with Jeno at this point.”

“The two toddlers are fine with me, they’re both angels,” Ten said, “can you believe Taeil is still trying to convince Sicheng to have another kid? He texts me every once and a while about it and he’s running out of ways to fend Taeil off.” He couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“I always thought it would be the other way around,” Yuta admitted, “Taeil never seemed like he would want kids of his own until later. I guess parenthood really changes you.”

“Sicheng was  _ so  _ against kids until he met Taeil,” Ten said, “I didn’t really know Taeil before they got together though. But yeah, parenthood really does change people. I’d like to think it turned us into pretty cool dads already.” 

“You are, maybe,” Yuta said, “I don’t think I ever will be.”

Ten pouted. “Don’t say that. We just gotta get the hang of it. Also, maybe? Just a maybe? That’s it? I’ve braved bring home fruit for you two, I think that gets me better than a maybe,” he said, pretending to be offended. 

“That doesn’t make you the cool dad, that makes you the weird dad,” Yuta teased.

“Being a weird dad and being a cool dad are not mutually exclusive!” Ten countered, “I can be both and I’ll be damned if I’m not good at it.” 

“You’re going to be great at it,” Yuta said, “I know you will. Just look at how amazing you are with Lele.”

“Babysitting and parenting are so much different,” Ten said, “also, I’m officially never saying parenting again. It’s too mainstream for this family.”

“Too mainstream?” Yuta asked with a snort, “you are not raising this child to be a hipster, Ten, I’m sorry.”

“Well I sure as hell ain’t raising him to be just like all the other kids,” Ten countered, “and as much as I want him to be a free spirit like me, I really hope he has your brain.”

“My brain is the last thing he needs,” Yuta said, “I’d like our son to have some intelligence please.”

“Did you forget you’re the one with the finance degree?” Ten asked, “at least you’ll be able to help him with his math homework when he gets older. I’ll help with I don’t know… gym class.”

“Finance is  _ easily  _ the easiest degree to get,” Yuta scoffed, “dance takes actual critical thinking. All you have to do for finance is add and subtract.”

Ten chuckled and kissed Yuta’s forehead again. “Alright, alright. We’ll put our brains together and make it work. Actually, I guess that’s what we technically already did,” he said. 

“On the contrary, there was absolutely no brain power involved in the making process,” Yuta said, “if we had even one brain cell involved, we would have used a condom.”

“Yeah…,” Ten said sheepishly, “but condoms aside. I think that was some pretty damn good birthday sex. You  _ cannot  _ look me in the eyes and say you regret it.”

Yuta hummed. “I mean, we were both incredibly intoxicated and I really honestly don’t remember much of it,” he said, teasing Ten a little bit more.

Ten pulled back so he could look at Yuta careful not to jostle his boyfriend around too much. “Don’t remember? You don’t  _ remember? _ ” he asked incredulously, “huh, guess I’m gonna have to step my game up for this year.”

“I was like blackout drunk,” Yuta said with a laugh, “remember, Yongie and Kun couldn’t go out and keep us under control so we ended up having way too much to drink?”

“Yeah, but you know Taeyong would have cut us off after like two drinks and Kun would have tried after one,” Ten said, “I really think the moral of the story is that I’m great in bed, but we already knew that and the little one doesn’t need to hear all of this.”

“The moral of the story is, I’m absolutely not getting drunk on my birthday this year,” Yuta said, “and you need a vasectomy.”

Ten’s eyes widened. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t get so hasty,” he said with a nervous laugh, “condoms work just as well.”

“Condoms suck and I don’t like how they feel,” Yuta retorted, “from either side of the deal.”

“Alright, your highness. We’ll figure something out, but we have a while ‘til your birthday,” Ten said, “for now I just want to take advantage of the quiet we still have.”

“You’re gonna be on nighttime duty for at least the first two weeks,” Yuta informed Ten, “so prepare yourself.”

Ten sighed. “Yeah, that’s fair,” he said, “I better take advantage of my sleep now then.”

Yuta smiled and kissed Ten’s cheek. “Get some sleep,” babe,” he said, “I’ll be here.”

Ten had been trying not to spend too much time away from Yuta over the next few weeks, but the studio had called him to teach classes one day and his boyfriend had assured him that he would be fine. And that was where he currently was. He had been there since first thing in the morning and it was barely after noon yet and all he wanted to do was get back home to Yuta.

Yuta had been unbearably achy all day and half a mind to call Ten and beg him to come home, but he knew he couldn’t take his boyfriend away from class. It felt just like the fake contractions, except they seemed closer together than usual. It wasn’t until a particularly powerful cramp had him leaning over the back of a chair for a solid minute that Yuta realized that the contractions were definitely not fake. He freaked out, trying to mentally calculate how long he’d been feeling them. A good couple of hours at least. Grabbing his phone off the counter, he called an ambulance then called Ten.

Ten didn’t hear his phone ringing until the song cut out. He called a break and headed over to his phone. He wasn’t surprised to see Yuta’s name across the screen; he had meant to call to check in half an hour ago and didn’t get the chance. “Hey, babe, I’m sorry I didn’t call. Is everything okay?” he asked when he answered. 

“I need you to meet me at the hospital,” Yuta said breathlessly, clenching his teeth as another contraction hit him, “he's coming.” **  
**


	11. Chapter 11

Ten’s stomach dropped. “H-He’s coming? Now?” he asked panickedly. He knew he needed to be calm for Yuta right now, but it was hard when he was completely unprepared for Jaemin to come. Yuta had been scheduled to have a c-section in a couple of days, but it looked like their baby didn’t like the date they had chosen. “I’m leaving right now. I’ll meet you at the hospital. Keep breathing, babe, everything’s gonna be okay. And don’t hang up yet.” He quickly gathered his stuff and rushed out of the room. Luckily, his boss was coming down the hallway and he quickly explained what was happening before rushing out to his car.

Yuta tried to keep calm but he was terrified. What if something was wrong with the baby? He wasn’t supposed to be there for another couple of days and Yuta was absolutely not prepared. When the paramedics arrived, he was still in a lot of pain and nowhere near ready to have this baby.

Ten leapt into his car and sped off to the hospital. His phone sat on his lap on speaker. “Yuta? Babe, can you still hear me? I’m on my way right now. I’ll be there soon, I promise,” he said, doing his best to keep his voice even. He sucked in a breath when he ran through a red light and was grateful there weren’t any cops around. 

“I’m here, I’m here,” Yuta gasped, “Tennie, it hurts, holy shit, please hurry.”

Ten’s chest tightened with guilt and worry. “I’m hurrying, I promise. I’ll be there in five minutes. Keep breathing, Yuta. You’re doing amazing and this will all be over soon. Are you still alone?” he asked nervously. 

“N-No, I’m in the ambulance,” Yuta said, gritting his teeth as another contraction hit, “you’re on sp-speaker.”

Every minute Ten wasn’t by Yuta’s side sent his nerves skyrocketing. “Okay, good. They’re gonna take good care of you until I get there. Just keep breathing and I’ll be with you in a few minutes,” he said as comfortingly as he could. He blew past countless cars, ignoring the blaring horn when he was forced to cut someone off so he didn’t end up in the wrong lane.

“Babe, we’re at the h-hospital,” Yuta gritted out, “I’m gonna hang up now, alright? I’ll text you where I end up.”

“Okay,” Ten said reluctantly, “I’m right around the corner. I’ll be there in a little bit.” He regretfully hung up the phone and had to slam on the brakes so he could make the turn into the driveway. Not even giving the valets time to reach, he leapt out of the car and raced inside. “My boyfriend just got here. H-He’s in labor. Where is he? I-I need to get to him,” he gasped out when he reached the front desk.

Yuta sat, breathing heavily, as the paramedics went through the intake forms before wheeling him to the obstetrics emergency department. He just barely caught sight of the room number and made sure to text Ten.

The nurses were still searching through the system when a text from Yuta came through. Ten was already running down the hallway before he read it, ignoring the yelling of the nurses. He needed to get to Yuta.

When Ten rushed into his room, Yuta burst into tears. He was so happy to see his boyfriend. Everything hurt so much and he wasn’t ready at all.

“Oh my God, Yuta,” Ten breathed as he sprinted over to the bed. He grabbed his boyfriends hand, completely ignoring the nurses that were bustling around hooking Yuta up to various monitors. “I’m right here, babe, and I’m not going anywhere. Breathe, please, don’t forget to breathe. What do you need?” He was an absolute wreck and had no idea what to do.

Yuta gripped Ten’s hand tightly and cried out as another contraction ripped through him. “Call Taeyong,” he gritted out, “ _ please _ .” 

Ten immediately fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed Taeyong’s number. He hoped he wasn’t too busy to answer his phone.

Yuta cried out again. “Sir, we have to take Mr. Na to the operating room right now,” a nurse told Ten urgently, already unlocking the brakes on the bed, “if you’re going to scrub in, you need to come with us now.”

Ten opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when Taeyong answered the phone. “Tae, Yuta’s in labor. We’re going into the operating room now. I’ll call you later,” he said quickly. He hung up without waiting for Taeyong to answer. He felt bad, but he was more worried about staying with Yuta. “What’s going on?” he asked, turning his attention to the nurses. 

“They’re both in distress,” the nurse said shortly, “we need to get the baby out before something happens to either of them.”

Ten’s breathing picked up, but he forced himself to stay calm for Yuta’s sake. “It’s gonna be okay, babe. You’re both gonna be fine,” he said soothingly. He couldn’t imagine how terrified Yuta must be and he didn’t know what to do to help.

The nurse directed Ten to the area where he could find scrubs and told him how to get to the operating room once he was prepared. In no time at all, Yuta was fully prepped and ready. He had been heavily sedated to calm him down and was gripping tightly to Ten’s hand.

Ten held Yuta’s hand like his life depended on it. “Everything’s gonna be okay, Yu. And I’m gonna be by your side the whole time. I’m not going anywhere,” he said. He was scared beyond belief. The nurses and doctors hadn’t updated him anymore and he had no idea if Jaemin or Yuta were actually okay. 

Yuta didn’t remember much of the procedure. He vaguely remembered hearing the baby cry and briefly seeing him before they were both taken in separate directions. Ten was waiting for him when he was brought to the obstetrics ward, but Yuta fell asleep not long after, before the baby was even back.

Ten was terrified when they brought him back to the room without Yuta or Jaemin. He was pacing back and forth and jumped when the door open and a nurse pushed Yuta’s bed into the room. His nerves shot through the roof when his boyfriend fell back asleep, but the nurses assured him that everything was okay. Taeyong and Kun were updated on what had happened and now all of Ten’s focus was on Yuta. He held his boyfriend’s hand tightly, rubbing his thumb back and forth, and watched his chest rise and fall. The sound of the door opening made Ten lookup and he gasped when he saw a nurse wheeling in a tiny pram. “Is he...is he okay?” he whispered.

“He’s perfectly healthy,” the nurse said with a smile, “sixteen inches, six pounds even. A little bit on the small side, but he’s in perfect health.” She lifted the baby out of the pram and helped Ten cradle him safely.

Ten let go of Yuta’s hand to take Jaemin into his arms. He almost burst into tears when he laid eyes on his baby’s face. He was absolutely perfect and Ten couldn’t be happier. Tearing his eyes away from Jaemin, he glanced at Yuta and back up to the nurse. “Will Yuta wake up soon?” he asked nervously.

“He should,” the nurse said, “we gave him a bit more sedative because he started getting worked up again, but he should come out of it soon. You’ve got some friends in the waiting area; do you want me to send them in? Three men your age?”

Ten exhaled shakily. “Not yet. I want to make sure Yuta’s okay before they come in,” he said. 

“Alright, just press the call button when you want us to let them in,” the nurse said before taking her leave. 

Ten immediately turned his attention back to his son. “Hi, Jaemin,” he whispered, “I’m so happy to finally meet you. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time. Papa’s gonna be awake soon too. He went through a lot to get you here so you gotta be nice to him.”

Yuta woke up about half an hour later and looked around groggily until he spotted Ten seated next to his bed with a tiny bundle in his arms. “Tennie,” he croaked out, mouth dry as cotton.

Ten looked up when he heard Yuta’s raspy voice. “Oh my God, Yuta, you’re okay,” he said, “hang on let me get you some water.” He stood up and rounded the bed. Carefully shifting Jaemin into one arm, he grabbed a cup of water from the bedside table and helped Yuta take a few sips. “Do you wanna hold Jaemin?”

“Y-Yeah,” Yuta said quietly. He hoped that holding the baby and seeing the creature he had created might spark a change of heart.

Ten carefully handed the baby to Yuta and sat down next to his boyfriend. “He’s so perfect, babe. And it’s all over. He’s here, he’s okay, and most importantly you’re okay too,” he said quietly, “I love you so much.”

Yuta carefully accepted the baby into his arms, fixing his blanket so he was fully covered. He stared down at Jaemin, waiting to feel that spark of emotion, but it never came. He bit his lip, trying to keep himself from crying.

“Oh, babe, it’s okay to cry,” Ten said softly, “I know everything must be really overwhelming right now. Take as much time as you need. Taeyong and Kun…” He paused. It just dawned on him that the nurse had said that three people were in the waiting room. Had Johnny come too? “Taeyong and Kun are in the waiting room whenever you’re ready to see them.”

“They can come in,” Yuta mumbled, reaching up with one hand to wipe his eyes. He hated this already.

Ten sighed and kissed Yuta’s temple before pressing the call button. When the nurse came in, he told them that they were ready for their visitors to come in.

Taeyong and Kun had rushed to the hospital as quickly as they could and were in the maternity ward waiting room with Johnny. They were waiting nervously for a nurse to come out and tell them Yuta’s baby had been born healthy. Despite knowing that Ten and Yuta had done everything right, it was still nerve wracking. Johnny was faring the worst out of the three of them, pacing back and forth and driving Taeyong bonkers.

Kun wished there was something he could do to help calm Johnny down, but he was at a loss. Eventually a nurse finally came into the waiting area and announced that they could come meet the baby. Kun had to restrain himself from leaping out of the chair and fell into step behind Johnny to follow the nurse to the room.

Taeyong pulled Johnny aside just before they entered the room. “You have to calm down,” he said sternly, “you being anxious will only make them anxious.”

Kun waited until Taeyong and Johnny were ready before knocking softly and pushing open the door to the room. He stepped aside so that Johnny could enter first and then made a beeline for his best friend. Ten hugged Kun tightly and buried his head in his best friend’s neck. His shoulders shook from the strain of trying to hold back tears. “I thought I was going to lose both of them,” he whispered shakily. “Oh, Tennie,” Kun murmured. He consoled the younger man and was relieved when Ten finally let go and gave him a small smile.

Johnny all but ran over to Yuta, about to start fussing before he remembered Taeyong’s warnings. “How are you feeling?” he asked instead.

"Tired...and sore," Yuta replied quietly. He subconsciously held the small baby in his arms a little closer. His eyes darted nervously between the men standing around his bed, until they landed on Johnny again.

Taeyong went over to talk to Ten, giving Johnny and Yuta their space. “Hey there, little guy,” Johnny said softly, crouching down next to the bed with his eyes on the tiny infant in Yuta’s arms.

Yuta looked down at his son. "His name's Jaemin," he whispered. His eyes flicked to Ten before dropping back down to the baby.

“Hi, Jaemin,” Johnny whispered, even though the baby was asleep. He couldn’t believe that the baby was finally here. After all the pain Yuta had endured, it was finally over.

Yuta chewed on his lip. He knew he was being irrationally hesitant, but considering everything that had happened he really couldn't help himself. His mind battled with itself as he tried to figure out what to do. Eventually he made up his mind and took a deep breath. "Do you want to hold him?" he asked so quietly you could almost miss it.

Johnny glanced up at Yuta, a little surprised that the younger man was offering already. “Not if I’m holding him before Tennie,” he said, “otherwise I’d love to.”

“Ten held him earlier,” Yuta said. It had taken him a while to fully wake up from the anesthesia and Ten hadn’t let the baby out of his sight much less his arms during that whole time.

Johnny carefully sat on the bed next to Yuta’s legs and lifted the tiny bundle out of his arms. “Hi, Jaeminnie,” he said again softly, “I’m your Uncle J.”

Yuta saw Ten’s smile falter when Johnny took the baby into his arms. He knew his boyfriend would be upset but judging by his glare it was much worse than he thought. He was pulled from his thoughts when Johnny introduced himself as “Uncle J.” Even though he had heard it a million times already, it still made him smile.

“He’s so precious, Yuta,” Johnny praised, “I’m so happy for you and Tennie.” His heart panged as he said it. If he hadn’t managed to win back Ten and Yuta’s affections in the last six months, he certainly had no chance of winning them back now. Even though he knew that was the likely outcome, it still hurt more than expected.

Yuta took a moment to make sure he heard Johnny properly before responding. “Oh, thanks Johnny,” he said slowly. He dropped his voice even more, “and, um, thank you for everything you’ve done for us, and for me. I, uh, I really appreciate it.” It wasn’t a lie. Johnny had been around for some of the lowest points in his pregnancy when Ten couldn’t be and he wasn’t quite sure what he would have done without the older man.

“Of course,” Johnny said, “anything for you guys.” He really would do anything for Yuta and Ten, even if it meant leaving them behind.

Yuta let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He settled back in bed, finally content with Johnny holding the baby. In fact, he could almost get used to it, but he didn’t want to push anything. He was absolutely wiped and definitely still wasn’t thinking entirely straight. He looked up when he felt a light hand on his shoulder to see Ten next to him. “Doing okay?” the younger man asked worriedly. Yuta nodded and mustered a small smile.

Johnny could tell by glancing up at him that Ten wasn’t happy with him holding the baby. When Taeyong and Kun stepped over, he easily passed Jaemin over to them and stood up, backing out of the way.

Yuta sighed sadly when Johnny backed away but he was glad that Kun and Taeyong would have a chance to hold him. Kun took the small baby from Johnny and cradled him in his arms carefully. He was even smaller than Jisung which didn’t seem possible until now. “Oh my God, he’s absolutely adorable,” he gushed.

Taeyong bent down and gave Yuta a one armed hugged. “He’s finally here,” he said quietly, crouching down next to his best friend.

Yuta hugged Taeyong back as best he could. "He is and I'm so relieved. Every day just got harder and harder and the last few weeks...I'm just so happy he's here and that he's okay," he said quietly. He blinked his eyes quickly trying to rid them of the tears that had gathered in the corners. Everything was just so overwhelming and it still hadn't even fully sunk it that it was all finally over.

Taeyong sat on the bed and wiped Yuta’s eyes with his thumbs. “I promise, it’s all so, so worth it. Even when it’s two in the morning and he won’t go back to sleep, you won’t want to trade it for the world.” He knew that Yuta and Ten were going to be amazing parents.

Yuta nodded in what he hoped came off as understanding. "Tae, do you want to hold him?" Kun asked slowly. He wanted to make sure his fiancé had a chance to hold the baby before they had to leave.

“Of course,” Taeyong said, opening his arms to take the baby, “come here, cutie. Oh, Yuta, he’s beautiful.”

Yuta mustered a small smile. "Thanks, Yongie," he whispered. Once the baby was in Taeyong's arms, Kun rounded the bed and went to stand by Johnny. Yuta looked absolutely exhausted and he knew the older man needed to rest soon. 

Taeyong only held the baby for a few minutes before passing him off to Ten. “Let us know if you need anything, okay?” he said as he hugged Yuta again tightly. He was so proud of his best friend.

After bidding goodbye one last time to Ten and Yuta, Kun regretfully made his leave from the room. “You know, I kinda miss when Jisung was that small,” he commented quietly.

"It's so amazing to watch him grow up though," Taeyong said, taking Kun's hand and leaning his head on his shoulder. It took a minute before he realized that Johnny hadn't left with them. He hoped everything would be okay between him and the other two.

Ten was surprised when Johnny stayed behind. “I wasn’t expecting you to come down,” he admitted. 

“I’m sorry. Tae called me,” Johnny said, “I tried to tell him I would see him when Yuta was feeling better, but he wouldn’t have it. I was just going to leave but I figured you deserved an apology. You’ve had a wild day and me being here isn’t helping.” He hazarded a glance at Yuta, who appeared to be the very definition of not okay.

Ten hummed. It made sense that Taeyong would have dragged Johnny down here. For how much help Yuta had claimed he had been, it didn’t seem like the older man’s presence was making much of a difference. “Yeah, it’s been a long day to say the least, but it’s over,” he said tiredly.

“The baby’s beautiful,” Johnny said tentatively, “you must be really proud.”

Ten glanced down at Jaemin and smiled widely. “Thanks, Johnny. I’m just so happy that everyone’s okay,” he said. He reached out a hand and ran it through Yuta’s hair.

Yuta roused from where he’d been dozing off. “Thanks for coming, Youngho,” he mumbled, “means a lot.”

“Do you want me to get you anything, babe?” Ten asked, turning his attention completely towards Yuta. He wanted to make sure his boyfriend and son were comfortable before he worried about Johnny.

Yuta shook his head. He just wanted to sleep again and hopefully like the baby more when he woke up. “I’ll head out,” Johnny said softly, “congrats again.” He took his leave. 

Ten sighed. “Get some rest, babe. I’ll be here when you wake up and I’ll make sure they bring you some food,” he said. He leaned down to kiss Yuta’s forehead.

Yuta hummed and almost immediately passed out. He was simply that exhausted. 

Ten still hadn’t fully registered everything that had happened. Even with Jaemin in his arms, he still couldn’t believe their baby was here. Today had been one of the scariest days of his life and he hoped nothing like this happened again.


	12. Chapter 12

The next few days were no easier on Yuta. Every time he looked at Jaemin, he wound up having to keep himself from crying. He simply felt nothing and it was the most horrible feeling in the world. The baby had no trouble bonding with him however, crying whenever he was taken away from Yuta, but his father simply didn’t feel the same. 

Ten had tried his best to take care of Jaemin as much as he could, but unless the baby was already asleep, he would wail if he was taken away from Yuta. He could tell that it was incredibly overwhelming for his boyfriend and he wished there was more he could do.

Yuta was relieved when he and Jaemin were finally released from the hospital. He sat in the backseat with the sleeping baby while Ten drove them home. 

Ten kept glancing at Yuta nervously during the drive home. He drove much more cautiously than he did on his way to the hospital. It took all of his self control not to keep asking Yuta if he and the baby were okay every few minutes. Luckily they were home quickly and brought Jaemin and all of their things up to their apartment. “Welcome home, Jaemin,” Ten announced when he pushed open the front door. 

Yuta shuffled in after Ten and Jaemin. He was still incredibly sore from the surgery and it made moving very difficult. He was happy to be home though. Hopefully, it would be easier to bond with Jaemin in his own environment. 

“What do you need, babe?” Ten asked. He carefully set Jaemin’s carrier down for a moment so he could unbuckle the baby and take him out. 

“A nice long nap with a hot water bottle,” Yuta said tiredly, “I’m sorry I’ve been so tired.”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Ten said, “you go lay down and I’ll bring you the water bottle. I’ll keep Jaemin out here so that if he cries he won’t bother you.”

Yuta nodded, definitely not about to argue, and shuffled off to bed. He wished Ten didn’t have to keep an eye on the baby so that he could cuddle with his boyfriend. 

Ten bustled around, carefully not to jostle Jaemin too much. He brought Yuta the hot water bottle and kissed his boyfriend gently. “I love you so much,” he said, “yell for me when you wake up.”

“I love you too,” Yuta mumbled. Once Ten had left, Yuta pulled out his phone and started to text Johnny, talking with the older man about how horrible he was feeling. 

Ten headed into the living room with Jaemin held snug in his arms. As soon as he sat down, the baby started whining. “Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothed, “I know you want Papa, but he’s really tired right now. You just have to be with me for a little while and you can go back to him.”

Yuta was disappointed but not surprised by Johnny’s advice. He knew that he needed to spend as much time with the baby as possible if he wanted to bond. He wanted to love this baby just as much as everyone else did, but it was somehow so hard. 

Ten tried laying down on the couch instead. He gently settled Jaemin on his chest and rubbed the baby’s back. Thankfully, Jaemin started to calm down and eventually drifted off to sleep.

Yuta thanked Johnny for his useless advice and dropped his phone off the side of the bed, annoyed. He didn’t understand why it was so hard for Johnny to just listen to him instead of trying to fix all his problems. Maybe he didn’t want him problems fixed! Maybe he just wanted to wallow in self pity until he felt better. 

Ten jumped when he heard a faint bang come from the bedroom. The sudden movement startled Jaemin awake and the baby began to cry loudly. “Oh, Nana, I’m so sorry to scare you,” Ten said gently, “everything’s okay. You’re okay.” He continued to whisper soothingly to the baby, hoping to calm him down.

Yuta scowled when the baby started crying. All he wanted was some damn peace and quiet! He had half a mind to call Ten in here and yell at him to keep the baby quiet, but he knew that wouldn’t do anything. He knew, and yet he was still angry. 

It took a little while, but Ten was somehow able to coax the baby back to sleep. He knew it wouldn’t be long before Jaemin woke up to eat, but even just an hour of quiet was good enough for him.

Yuta couldn’t sleep. He was comfortable, despite the soreness, and he was absolutely exhausted, but for some reason, he couldn’t fall asleep. His brain was too focused on other things, namely the son he knew he was neglecting. 

Ten kissed the top of Jaemin’s head. He was so in love with their son already and he couldn’t wait for all of the adventures to come.

The next few weeks continued much the same. Yuta’s mood was all over the place. He would switch from irritable to sad to angry, all in a matter of hours. No matter what, he felt guilty. He knew that there was supposed to be some sort of emotional spark when he looked at his son. Pride, love, something. Yet, he didn’t feel that spark. Sure, he looked at Jaemin and wanted to protect him, to make sure nothing bad ever happened to him, but the feeling was no more intense than it was with any other child that he knew. 

Ten had done his best to give Yuta a break for the first couple weeks, but his boyfriend continued to act strange. He hadn’t been the same since Jaemin was born and Ten was starting to get worried. One afternoon after Ten had changed and fed Jaemin, he laid him down for a nap and went to talk to his boyfriend. “Hey, babe. How are you feeling?” he asked. 

“I’m okay,” Yuta said softly. He leaned his head on Ten’s shoulder with a sigh, “Tae just texted me asking if we want to get together for dinner tonight.”

“Yeah, that would be nice. I feel like we’ve barely seen them lately,” Ten said, “are you feeling up to it though?”

“Yeah, it’ll be good to get out of the house,” Yuta said. He hadn’t left since he and Jaemin had first come home. 

Ten smiled widely. “Tell him we’ll be over then. Chenle’s gonna be so excited to finally meet Jaemin,” he said. 

Yuta picked up his phone and texted Taeyong back. They still had a little bit of time before Jaemin would be up and screaming once more. 

Ten wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet while they had it, but he also wanted to check on Yuta. After a minute of silence, he took a deep breath before speaking. “Is everything okay, babe?” he asked gently, “you’ve been acting odd every since we brought Jaemin home. Please don’t tell me it’s nothing. I know you, and this isn’t like you at all. I just want to be able to help with whatever’s going on.”

“I’m just really overwhelmed,” Yuta said quietly, “it’s been a lot and I wasn’t really ready for everything to happen yet.”

Ten sighed sadly. “I’m so sorry, Yuta,” he said sincerely, “talking to Taeyong today should be good for you. I’m sure he’ll know how to make everything a lot less overwhelming. We’re gonna take everything day by day.” 

“It was different for them though,” Yuta said quietly, “you know that. Taeyong never had trouble feeling connected to Jisung.”

Ten frowned. He had thought that once Jaemin was here and everything was over, Yuta would begin to feel better about having a baby, but in reality, it was the opposite that was happening. “Have you talked to Johnny at all?” he asked slowly.

“Once,” Yuta said, shrugging, “he just told me to spend time with the baby. I’m doing that and it isn’t helping.”

“It might be better for you to go talk to someone other than Johnny,” Ten said gently, “you can’t live like this. I want to help you, babe, I really do, but there’s nothing else I can do. Yeah, I can take care of Jaemin, but that doesn’t leave me any time to focus on you.”

“You don’t need to focus on me,” Yuta said, “you just worry about Jaemin. I’ll figure myself out eventually.”

“Yuta, we can’t keep doing this. I want to be able to enjoy my family. I want to be able to spend moments like this cuddled in bed watching a movie. I want to get you help, not sit back and hope things get better,” Ten said. 

“I don’t need help,” Yuta retorted coldly, sitting up and pushing himself away from Ten, “I just need to adjust.”

Ten rolled his eyes and waited a moment before speaking again so he didn’t say anything he would regret. “Alright. You take your time to adjust and you come find me when you’ve figured it out,” he said. He stood up from the couch to go check on Jaemin. 

Yuta huffed. Of course he had made Ten upset at him. He couldn’t do anything right these days. 

Ten walked into their room and over to the crib. Jaemin was still fast asleep, happily swaddled in his blanket. He didn’t want to risk waking the baby up so he simply watched him sleep until he woke up on his own. 

Yuta and Taeyong made plans for the older man and his family to come over around six and bring dinner with them, which the Japanese man forwarded to his boyfriend. He hated how distant they were now. 

Ten’s phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket to read the message that came through. He scoffed when he saw it was from Yuta. Of course his boyfriend wouldn’t even take the time to come in to tell him. He didn’t bother responding. It was childish to text from across an apartment.

Yuta laid on the couch, staring blankly across the room until the buzzer rang. With a sigh, he got up and let Taeyong and crew up. 

Ten smiled when he heard the front door open. He picked Jaemin up and brought the baby out to say hi and make him a bottle before he got too fussy.

Yuta did his best to make sure that no one could tell he was miserable. The apartment was lively as Chenle fussed over Jaemin and as they all gathered to eat. Afterwards, Taeyong and Kun sat on the couch while their boys played on the floor and Yuta and Ten each took an armchair. “There’s something we need to tell you,” Taeyong said quietly, finally. 

Ten’s eyes widened. “What’s going on?” he asked slowly. He glanced at Kun who only offered an apologetic smile in return. 

“We’re going to be moving in a few weeks,” Taeyong said slowly, “to California.”

Ten blinked at Taeyong. It took him a moment to register what the older man said. He was losing his best friend in a couple weeks? “Why...why so far?” he asked quietly. 

“We need to get married,” Taeyong said, “especially with the baby, it’s too dangerous to not be able to advocate for each other.”

Ten exhaled and nodded. He could understand that. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” he asked next. His gaze drifted from Taeyong to Kun and he looked up at his best friend with sad eyes.

“We knew how hard things were for you guys while Yuta was pregnant,” Taeyong said gently, “we didn’t want to make you even more stressed.” Yuta stood abruptly, shoving the baby into Ten’s arms and disappearing down the hallway to the bathroom.

Ten took Jaemin carefully and repositioned the whiny baby in his arms. He sighed and sniffed. “I’m really sorry, Tennie,” Kun said quietly. “No, no, don’t apologize. You guys need to do what’s best for your family,” Ten said, “if I’m being honest, Yuta really wants to move home and we’ve looked at a couple places.” 

“We know,” Taeyong said quietly, “Johnny mentioned it to us. I’m gonna go talk to Yuta.” He got up and went down the hallway, letting himself into the bathroom. “I’m sorry, Yukkuri,” he said quietly.

Of course Johnny had told Taeyong and Kun. Ten didn’t know why he was surprised. His face must have given away his frustration because Kun came to sit next to him. “You told Johnny before us.” It wasn’t a question. “I’m sorry, Ten, but we really were just trying to look out for you guys. I wished I could have told you sooner, I really do,” Kun said. 

“You’re leaving me,” Yuta said miserably, unable to look at Taeyong. “I’m sorry,” Taeyong said again. Yuta sniffled and wiped his face. “I’m gonna miss you,” he mumbled.

“I don’t know who I’m gonna miss more, you or Chenle,” Ten teased, trying to sound lighthearted. The toddler peered up at Ten when he heard his name. “Nevermind, it’s definitely Lele.” Kun just rolled his eyes. “Gee, Ten, I’m really feeling the love right now,” he said. 

“I’m gonna miss you too,” Taeyong said, pulling Yuta into a tight hug, “Tennie said you guys are thinking of moving to Japan?”

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you,” Ten said, turning serious. “We’re still gonna talk,” Kun assured, “and you have Yuta and Jaeminnie.” Ten sighed and looked down at the baby in his arms. Kun didn’t miss Ten’s face fall and knew it was more than just because of them leaving. “Is everything okay?” he asked carefully. Ten simply shook his head. 

Yuta nodded, not pulling away from Taeyong. “I need to,” he said quietly, “I’m going crazy this far from home. But I...I don’t know if Ten and Jaemin are still going to come with me.”

“What’s going on, Tennie?” Kun asked gently. “I can’t do this anymore,” he admitted quietly, “I’m trying so hard and I just don’t know what to do.” Jaemin blinked his eyes open and yawned widely. Ten smiled sadly. 

“Why not?” Taeyong asked gently. “We’ve been fighting a lot lately,” Yuta mumbled, “I don’t think he thinks I’m good for Jaemin.”

“Ten, you can’t give up on him,” Kun said gently. “He’s barely done anything for Jaemin and he wants to go home anyway. I’m not giving up on him, but he doesn’t want my help so there’s nothing else I can do,” Ten said. Kun sighed. “I know everything is really difficult, but please try not to think about this irrationally,” he said. Ten shot him a deadly look and Kun clamped his mouth closed. 

“Why would he think that?” Taeyong questioned. Yuta shifted uncomfortably. “Because I can’t bond with him,” he mumbled finally, “I didn’t...I didn’t want him and now I can’t connect with him and I want to so badly and it’s not happening and I don’t know what to do, Tae,” he gasped out. 

Ten caught Kun eyeing Jaemin out of the corner of his eye. “Do you wanna hold him?” he asked quietly. Kun nodded and took the baby from Ten’s arms. 

“Okay, Yuta, it’s okay,” Taeyong said, gently sitting his best friend down on top of the closed toilet seat. He grabbed some toilet paper and dabbed at the tears on Yuta’s face. “I’m just so angry and sad all the time,” Yuta rambled, “and I know it’s not Ten’s fault and it’s not the baby’s fault but I take it out on them anyway and all anyone tells me to do is spend more time with the baby but it’s not working, Tae, and I’m so scared. What if…what if I never love him?”

“He really is adorable,” Kun commented, changing the subject. “He gets it all from Yuta,” Ten said. “I’m always gonna be here for you,” Kun said, “if you need to talk to anyone I’ll always listen. No matter what country I’m in.” Ten mustered a small smile. “Thanks, Kunnie,” he mumbled. 

“Yuta, baby, you have to breathe,” Taeyong said, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you need to get help. I’ve read about stuff like this before, the whole not bonding with the baby thing. I know it’s really hard to admit you need help, but you can’t handle all of this on your own.” Yuta nodded miserably. He knew that.

Ten glanced down the hallway towards the bathroom. He had no doubt that Yuta was telling Taeyong everything that was wrong and the older man was offering him advice he would take. What was the point of even bothering anymore if Yuta still refused to talk to him?

“It’s so hard,” Yuta said quietly, “Ten thinks I hate Jaemin, which isn’t true at all. I just don’t think therapy or anything will help. Telling someone about what I’m feeling doesn’t change the fact that Jaemin doesn’t feel any more significant to me than Jisung.” “No,” Taeyong acquiesced, “but therapy provides access to medications and those actually can have an impact on how you feel. It’s worth a shot, Yukkuri.”

Ten shook his head and turned his attention back to Jaemin. The baby was content to stay in Kun’s arms so Ten slid onto the floor to play with Chenle and Jisung. There was no point in dwelling on Yuta when he had to take advantage of all the time he had to see his nephews. 

“I’ll think about it,” Yuta finally mumbled, wiping his face for the last time, “thanks, Tae. You’re amazing.” He couldn’t believe Taeyong was really leaving, but it just made moving home even easier.

Chenle was all too happy to play with Ten and Jisung. The baby was sitting in Ten’s lap and doing his best to swipe at the toys his brother held in front of him. 

Yuta cleaned himself up and followed Taeyong back out into the living room. “Lele, say bye to Uncle Tennie and Uncle Yu,” he said, stooping to pick Jisung up off the floor, “it’s time to go home.”

Ten mimicked Chenle’s pout and hugged the boy tightly. He stood up to say goodbye to Taeyong and Kun and take Jaemin back. 

Yuta crouched down and hugged Chenle tightly. “I love you so much, Lele,” he said, “you can call Uncle whenever, alright?”

Ten did his best not to react. Yuta treated Chenle and even Jisung better than he had ever treated Jaemin. It was disheartening to say the least and they definitely needed to have a chat about what they were going to do. 

Chenle hugged Yuta back with a pout until Taeyong gently pulled him away. “We’ll get together again before we leave,” he promised, “keep me updated, alright?” Yuta smiled gently and squeezed his best friend’s hand before showing the little family out. Once they were gone, he turned back to Ten. “I can take him and get him down,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ten said, “he still needs a bath and I can handle it.” He carried Jaemin into the bedroom to grab a clean onesie and a new diaper. 

“Please, Ten,” Yuta asked quietly, following his boyfriend, “you’ve done so much. It’s my turn for a little bit.”

“It’s fine, babe, you don’t have to push yourself” Ten said. Where was this coming from? “Bath time’s the easy part and it makes him tired so he’ll go right down after.”

“Ten,” Yuta said firmly, “I’ll take the baby. You go lay down. We can talk after, alright?”

Ten took a deep breath to compose himself. “I’ll help you,” he said. It was the closest he could get to admitting he didn’t trust Yuta to properly take care of Jaemin. He handed the baby to his boyfriend and went into the kitchen to set up the baby bath in the sink. 

Yuta carefully took the baby into his arms, smiling to himself when Jaemin yawned. He followed Ten to the kitchen, grabbing the carrier as he went. He settled Jaemin in it in order to take off his dirty clothes and dirty diaper. Once Ten had the baby bath set up, he carefully set Jaemin in the water, supporting his head as he did so.

“Don’t keep him in the water too long. It’ll dry out his skin,” Ten said. He laid out a changing blanket on the table and set up Jaemin’s clothes and diaper. Once Yuta was all set up, he ducked into the bathroom to grab a towel. 

Yuta adjusted the towel laid under Jaemin and grabbed a washcloth off the counter. He wet it with warm water and carefully laid the cloth over Jaemin’s belly. “That feel good, baby?” he murmured as Jaemin yawned again.

Ten came back into the kitchen and set the dry towel on the counter. He crossed his arms and stepped to the side, watching Jaemin closely. 

Keeping one hand under Jaemin’s head, Yuta used the other to dampen another washcloth and squeeze some baby soap onto it. He gently washed the baby’s limbs, paying special attention to between his fingers and toes.

Ten had to admit he was surprised with how much care Yuta was washing Jaemin with. Everything was so quiet and peaceful. For a fleeting moment, it felt like they were actually a family, but Ten wasn’t going to get used to it. 

Yuta finished bathing Jaemin, making sure to clean out his eyes and behind his ears before lifting the baby out of the bath and wrapping him in the dry towel. Jaemin was very nearly asleep and all Yuta had left to do was get him dressed and in his bassinet. “I’ve got it, babe,” he said, glancing up at Ten, “you can go lay down we’ll be in in a minute.”

Ten nodded. “Good night, Jaeminnie,” he said, kissing the baby’s forehead. He got washed up and changed and all but collapsed into bed. He was still a little nervous but he knew everything would be okay. 

Yuta carefully got Jaemin into a diaper and pajamas. He bounced around the kitchen with the baby in his arms until he was fast asleep then carried him into the bedroom and laid him in the bassinet. He returned to the kitchen to clean up then finally got into bed.

Ten was actually impressed. This was the most Yuta had done for the baby since he had come up. “Thanks for bathing him,” he said when Yuta laid down. 

“Of course,” Yuta said, “I’m sorry I haven’t been pulling my weight. I’m trying, Tennie, I promise.”

Ten sighed sadly. “It’s alright, babe. I really don’t mind,” he said, “I’m the one that wanted him anyway so it makes sense that I would take care of him.”

“You should mind,” Yuta said, “it shouldn’t matter if I didn’t originally want him. He’s still my son and I should be pulling my weight.”

Ten shrugged. “It’s really not a big deal. I like spending time with him and I’m the one that’s gonna be home with him most of the time when you go back to work.”

“I don’t want to be an absent parent though,” Yuta said, “I’m really sorry that I’ve been uninvolved so far. I don’t want him to grow up feeling like one of his parents hates him, regardless of how I feel about all of it.”

Ten looked at Yuta skeptically. “Why the sudden change of heart? I’m not mad at you so you don’t have to do this just to make me happy,” he said. This had to have come from whatever Taeyong told him.

“I don’t want to lose you. Or him,” Yuta said quietly, “I’ll do anything to keep from losing you.”

“You’re not gonna lose me by staying away from Jaemin. You’re gonna lose me by not talking to me. You’re gonna lose me by not agreeing to get the help you clearly need,” Ten said, “you need to take care of yourself before you can worry about taking care of Jaemin.”

“I don’t need help,” Yuta said stubbornly, “I needed some time to adjust. I’ve never really had empathy for children and I don’t know why I thought that would change with my own son. It threw me off but I’m fine now.”

“You just said you’d do anything not to lose me. I tell you what to do and you refuse. So you obviously don’t care about losing me as much as you claim. So what is it, Yuta? You feel guilty? You want a life like Taeyong and Kun’s even though that’s clearly not meant for us? I don’t know what you want, but it’s not gonna work for much longer,” Ten said, keeping his voice low so he didn’t wake up Jaemin. 

“I just don’t want to be the problem anymore,” Yuta said, “I just need to get myself together and everything will be fine.”

“And you can’t do that on your own! You tried that and it didn’t work,” Ten said, getting frustrated, “I’ll support and help you to the end of the world but I will not sit around waiting for the day you tell me everything’s fine. If you want to fix the problem, you need to get up and do something about it. And if you want to just continue to do nothing that’s fine, but I’m not gonna be around to watch.”

“There’s nothing I can about it except force my way through it and hope everything will be fine,” Yuta said, frustrated, “whatever’s wrong with me can’t be fixed, Ten! I’m just fucking broken!”

“Whatever Taeyong told you must have done something considering that was the most you’ve done for Jaemin since we brought him home,” Ten said, “and we can’t live off of hope.  _ I  _ can’t live off of hope. Go talk to Johnny for all I care, go talk to someone, whoever is gonna help you get this straightened out.”

“Taeyong told me the same shit everyone else has been telling, the same shit that hasn’t been doing anything,” Yuta said, “I just realized that I can’t let our son suffer while I wait for someone to figure out something that  _ does  _ work.”

“Our son is gonna suffer until you get this figured out,” Ten said, “maybe, maybe you need to look into moving home sooner. See if that helps and if it does, I’ll follow with Jaemin when he’s big enough. And if it doesn’t we’ll just stay here.”

“No,” Yuta said firmly, “separating will only make it worse. How am I supposed to bond with the baby if I’m not around him?”

“You’ve barely been around him for the past few weeks and we’ve all been living under the same roof,” Ten said, “I’m not gonna keep going in circles and I’m not gonna wait for you forever. I’ll give you a month. You have a month to bond with him, figure yourself out, whatever. If after a month nothing is fixed, I’m taking Jaemin and we’re leaving. I don’t want to threaten you, but I need to do what’s best for me and Jaemin.”

Yuta didn’t blame Ten at all, but it still put a cold feeling in his heart. Over the next few weeks, he tried his best to bond with Jaemin. He did everything he could to be with the baby, but rather than being soothed by Yuta’s presence, Jaemin would start crying whenever he came close and Yuta knew it was all his fault. Maybe it would be better if Ten and Jaemin left. At least then they would be happy. 

Ten tried to give Yuta the benefit of the doubt. He still wanted to be that happy family, but as the weeks went on he knew for sure that wouldn’t work. One day, he couldn’t take it anymore and he pack up a small bag for Jaemin and headed to Kun’s. He needed a break and to be somewhere he could think everything through.

Yuta panicked when he got home from the grocery store and found the apartment empty. Ten and Jaemin were both gone and he had no idea where they were or when they’d be back. He tried calling Ten, but he was sent straight to voicemail every time. The same thing happened when he tried calling Kun, knowing that if anyone knew where his boyfriend was, it would be the Chinese man. Finally, on the verge of tears, he called Johnny. 

Ten had sent Kun a text saying he was on his way so he was able to let himself into the apartment. Chenle came bounding over to him and he put on a smile and did his best to be excited about the toy the toddler was showing him. Kun took one look at Ten’s face and knew things were not good. He sent Chenle off to play with Taeyong for a few minutes and dragged Ten into their bedroom to talk. 

Johnny came over and held Yuta tightly while he cried. “I just d-don’t understand,” the younger man sobbed, “I’m tr-trying so h-hard.”

Before Kun could open his mouth Ten was already off on a tangent. “I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t. Nothing’s getting better and I don’t want to live like this anymore,” he finished. Kun let Ten stew for a minute before opening his mouth. “Do you still love him?” he asked simply. “Of course I do. I love him more than anything and I want him to get help,” Ten replied immediately. “You’re not acting like it,” Kun said. 

“I’m going to call Taeyong and see if he knows where Ten went,” Johnny said, “then we’re going to make an appointment with Jaemin’s pediatrician. A bonding problem can just as much be something wrong with the baby as it could be something wrong with you. Alright?” Yuta blindly agreed, barely having heard what Johnny said.

“How da-,” Ten began but Kun cut him off with a raised hand. “I know your relationship is none of my business, but I’m not gonna sit back and watch you two ruin your relationship, especially now that Jaemin is here. I know you love him a lot Ten, but if you keep acting like this you’re gonna lose him for good,” Kun said. Ten took a shaky breath. “Now will you listen to me?” Kun asked. Ten just nodded. 

“Taeyong said that Ten and Jaemin are over at his place talking to Kun,” Johnny said when he got off the phone a few minutes later, “and I made you and Jaemin an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. Just you two, no Ten.”

“He’s really hurting, Ten. He’s been hurting since you made the announcement and anyone can see it’s not getting better. And I know you well enough to know you’re not helping the situation. I get it. You want what’s best for Jaemin and that he’s your first priority as a parent, but you need to step up and be a better boyfriend too. You have to find balance and you have to find a way to help him that he wants, not what you think is best,” Kun said. Ten sat for a moment, letting what Kun said sink in. “I don’t want to lose him,” he mumbled. 

“How am I supposed to go to an appointment with the baby when I don’t even know that I’ll have him back by then?” Yuta mumbled sadly, “if this is what Ten thinks is best, then maybe it really is. Maybe I should just give up and let them go.”

“You gotta meet him where he is and go from there, Tennie,” Kun said gently. Ten nodded. “I’ll try talking to him tonight, but I don’t know if he’ll listen. I threatened to take Jaemin with him if he didn’t get better and I don’t know if he’ll want me back now,” he said. “Of course he will,” Kun said, “if you can prove to him that you’re going to support him and be there for him, he’ll take you back. He needs you and you need him.” Ten nodded again. 

“I’ll tell Taeyong to make sure that Ten and Jaemin come home tonight,” Johnny said, “I don’t want to watch you two fall apart like this.”

Ten wiped his eyes and looked up when the bedroom door cracked open. “Yuta wants you and Jaemin to come home tonight,” Taeyong relayed. That wasn’t exactly the message he had received, but he wasn’t about to tell Ten it came from Johnny. Ten’s eyes widened. “We’ll be home in a few hours,” he promised. 

“Did you not tell him that you were coming over here?” Taeyong asked with a frown, “because I got a very frantic series of texts asking if I had seen or heard from you at all.”

Ten dropped his eyes to his shoes. “No, I didn’t say anything. He went shopping and I just packed up a bag for Jaemin and came straight here,” he replied sheepishly. 

Taeyong took a deep breath to calm himself. “Did you just think he wouldn’t freak out when you and the baby up and disappeared?” he asked, not waiting for an answer, “you think you’re so innocent in all of this but I’m not going to sit by and watch you continue to hurt my best friend.” He picked up Ten’s coat and tossed it at him. “Go home,” he said coldly, “figure it out.”

Ten didn’t dare to argue. He slipped on his coat and slung Jaemin’s bag over his shoulder. He grabbed the carrier and exchanged a sad glance with Kun before leaving the apartment. 

Johnny took his leave once Taeyong let him know that Ten had left, and Yuta took the time in between to clean himself up. He finally put the groceries away then went to shower and change.

Ten entered the apartment quietly. “Yuta?” he called hesitantly, “I’m home.”

Yuta was just getting out of the shower when Ten arrived home, so he finished getting dressed and made his way out to the kitchen. “Hi,” he said quietly, “how was your visit with Kun?”

“It was good,” Ten said slowly, “it was helpful to talk to him.” He held onto the carrier tightly, not quite ready to put it down yet. 

“Let’s get Jaem out of there, he looks uncomfortable,” Yuta said, glancing down at the carrier. He gently took it from Ten’s hand and set it on the floor, lifting Jaemin out just moments later.

Ten watched Jaemin closely, but the baby didn’t start to fuss. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you like I should have,” he said quietly. 

“It’s okay,” Yuta said, “none of this has been normal so far. I don’t blame you.” He held Jaemin close to his chest, hoping that the baby wouldn’t start to cry again. “I’m taking Jaemin to the doctor tomorrow afternoon.”

“To the doctor? Why? He’s fine and he already had an appointment scheduled for a few weeks,” Ten said. 

“It’s more for me than for him,” Yuta said, “to try and figure out this bonding problem once and for all.”

Ten nodded. “What time is it? My boss shouldn’t need me unless it’s an emergency,” he said. 

“No, Ten, it’s just me and the baby,” Yuta said, “I think I need to handle this alone.”

Ten was about to protest, but stopped himself. “Oh, okay. Yeah, that’s fine,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I just...I don’t want you to think that the fact that I’m still feeling some of these things means I’m not trying,” Yuta said quietly, “a month is almost up and it’s not any better than it was before and I just know that there are some things I can’t bring myself to say in front of you.”

Ten sighed sadly. “I want you to do whatever’s best for you. As long as you're talking to someone who can help you, I don’t care who it is,” he said. 

“I really thought you were gone,” Yuta said, “I came back and you and the baby weren’t here and you wouldn’t answer your phone.”

“I’m sorry, babe. I just couldn’t be here. I needed a break and I wasn’t thinking. I really am sorry,” Ten apologized.

“You just...you were gone and I - I have been trying  _ so hard _ , Tennie,” Yuta said. Jaemin started to fuss, as if he could feel that the mood had shifted. “I thought you knew that and I was so scared that you had left anyway.”

Ten took a step towards Yuta. “I’m sorry, babe, but it doesn’t feel like anything changed. And part of it’s my fault. I haven’t been the support you need and deserve. I thought it would be easier to just leave and take Jaemin, but it’s not. I’m sorry I scared you,” he whispered. 

“Things not changing doesn’t mean that I’m not trying,” Yuta said, “it just means that I might not be the problem.”

Ten sighed. “We’ll figure it out. I really don’t want to lose you. I want things to get better and I’ll do everything I can to help,” he said. 

“We’ll see how things go tomorrow,” Yuta said with a sigh, “hopefully, the doctor will have some sort of answer for me.”

Ten nodded. “I hope so too,” he said, “I love you a lot. I know I don’t always act like I do, but I really care about you more than anything in the world. And I’m gonna prove it to you.”

“I love you too,” Yuta said, leaning over to kiss Ten gently, “and I’m really sorry that this has been so hard.”

“It’s okay, Yuta. We’ll figure it out together,” Ten said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! We're approaching the end of this fic (can you believe it?) so hopefully this chapter gave you some insight to how Yuta's feeling. Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, Ten ended up driving Yuta and Jaemin to the appointment and waiting for them in the reception area. The pediatrician was very kind and listened to all of Yuta’s concerns before deciding to bring his obstetrician in, since Yuta himself wasn’t technically her patient. Together, they had given him a diagnosis and a prescription to be filled and started immediately.

Ten jumped out of his seat when Yuta and Jaemin came back over to him. “How did everything go?” he fussed, looking between his boyfriend and the baby. 

“Let’s talk about it in the car,” Yuta murmured quietly, glancing at the other people in the waiting area. He readjusted Jaemin’s carrier on his arm and motioned for Ten to lead the way out.

Ten led his family out of the doctor’s office and into the car. He didn’t say anything further, waiting for Yuta to speak.

Yuta waited until they were on the road to speak. “They think I have postpartum depression,” he said quietly, “they’re putting me on anti-depressants and seeing if they help.”

Ten felt a wave of guilt surge through him. This whole time he had been so harsh on Yuta and that was probably making everything so much worse. “Babe, I… I’m sorry I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been,” he said quietly. 

“You didn’t know,” Yuta said, “and it might not even be that. I’m just going to try the medication and see if it helps.”

Ten nodded. “And if it doesn’t, we’ll try something else,” he said. He reached over and took Yuta’s hand in his own. 

Yuta squeezed Ten’s hand. “I’m going to do everything I can,” he said, “no more giving up for me.”

Ten smiled softly. “There’s the man I love,” he said, “and I’m never gonna give up on you either. Jaeminnie and I are gonna be by your side through everything.”

“Let’s go to the pharmacy and then go out for lunch,” Yuta said with a small smile.

Ten’s smile widened. “Yeah, let’s go,” he said. They stopped by the pharmacy first and were soon sitting at a small table in the corner of Yuta’s favorite Japanese restaurant. Jaemin was fast asleep in his carrier and Ten hope it stayed that way. 

Yuta was so happy he was no longer pregnant and could finally eat takoyaki again. He had missed his favorite dish so much.

“Easy, babe,” Ten said with a chuckle as Yuta eagerly ate his food, “we can get some more to take home with us.”

“How would you feel if you couldn’t eat chocolate for almost a year?” Yuta asked, “let me have this, Tennie.”

Ten raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. You definitely deserve it,” he said. 

“If Jaemin doesn’t like takoyaki, I’m honestly going to be a little sad about it,” Yuta mumbled through a mouthful of food.

“I’m sure he’ll love it just as much as you do,” Ten assured, “but we’re gonna have to wait a little while before we find out.”

“I know,” Yuta said with a sigh, “we should really start looking into moving more seriously though. Tae and Kun are going to be gone in a couple of days already.”

Ten nodded. “We’ll look at more places right when we get home. I’m sure we can find something we like in a couple of weeks,” he said. 

“I should probably talk to my parents and let them know I’m moving home,” Yuta said. He hadn’t talked to any of his family at all. It wasn’t that they were estranged; he simply had been so distracted lately. 

Ten hummed. “Do you want to call them when we get home?” he asked carefully. 

“Probably should,” Yuta said, “I’ll call my sister first; she’ll be a little more understanding.”

“I bet they’ll be really excited to hear from you,” Ten said supportively, “and they might even be able to help us look for places.”

“We can even FaceTime so they can see Jaemin too,” Yuta suggested. 

“Yeah, we can,” Ten agreed eagerly. He would take any chance he got to show off his son. “They’re gonna be excited to meet him.”

“I just hope they won’t be mad I didn’t tell them,” Yuta said, biting his lip nervously.

“I don’t think they’d be mad at you. Everything’s been really hectic and I’m sure they’d understand,” Ten said. 

“I hope so,” Yuta said, “should we pay the bill and go get ice cream?”

Ten nodded. “You take Jaeminnie to the car and and I’ll pay and meet you out there,” he said. 

Yuta took the keys from Ten and carried Jaemin out to the car. He got the baby secured in the car and climbed into the front passenger’s seat to wait for Ten.

Ten paid their bill and went to join his family in the care. “To ice cream we go!” he announced as he drove off.

Yuta smiled, reaching over and taking Ten’s hand. He felt so, so happy.

Ten held Yuta’s hand all the way to the ice cream parlor and only let go to climb out of the car. “Do I even need to ask what flavor you’re getting?” he asked. 

“It’s been so long, Tennie, you still need to ask?” Yuta teased. He lifted Jaemin in his carrier out of the car and followed Ten into the ice cream parlor.

Ten rolled his eyes and ordered two cups of green tea ice cream for them. He paid for the ice creams and grabbed two spoons and a couple of napkins for them. There was an open table that they made themselves comfortable at and Ten wasted no time digging into the cool treat. 

Yuta gently rocked the baby carrier with his foot while he ate his ice cream. It was nice to just spend time with his boyfriend and their son without worrying whether or not Ten hated him.

“I can’t believe the summer’s almost over and I haven’t had ice cream until now,” Ten said. He missed little adventures like this and he hoped that they would be able to start going on more again.

“Didn’t get to go swimming either,” Yuta commented. He actually did miss that. Ever since he’d injured his knee playing club soccer in college, swimming had been his sport of choice and he was itching to be able to get back to it.

“We still have time to get to a pool,” Ten said, “we’ll have to pick a day it’s not too hot so Jaemin will be okay outside.”

“I can’t swim for another couple of weeks still, and it’ll be too cold by then,” Yuta said sadly.

Ten pouted. “Our new house must have an indoor pool,” he declared, “that way we can swim all year and we don’t have to worry about sunburn.”

“It isn’t a big deal,” Yuta said, “I can always find a community center and swim there.”

“Yeah, but just think how nice it would be to have a swimming pool downstairs. We would be the envy of the whole town. And the parties we could throw. Come on, babe, you can’t tell me that wouldn’t be amazing,” Ten said. 

“It would be amazing,” Yuta said with a sigh, “but without my salary, I don’t know if we’ll be able to manage it.”

Ten sighed. “Yeah, the little guy’s gonna eat up our savings just fine on his own,” he said, “we’ll get you to a pool and put an indoor one on the bucket list.”

“Thanks, babe,” Yuta said. He finished off the last bite of his ice cream and stood to throw out the cup. Unfortunately, the ceasing motion woke Jaemin, who started whimpering and fussing. “Oh, baby, it’s okay,” Yuta said, lifting the infant out of his carrier and laying him over his shoulder.

Ten smiled softly at the sight of Jaemin in Yuta’s arms. For the first time since he was born, it didn’t seem forced. “He really is so cute,” he commented. Maybe this was the start of good things to come.

“He’s adorable,” Yuta replied, “he looks so much like you, Tennie.”

“You think so? I don’t really see it,” Ten admitted, “I think he looks more like you. It’s what makes him so cute.”

“Not at all,” Yuta said, “he’s got your nose and your mouth and your chin.”

“Hopefully that’s all he gets from me,” Ten muttered to himself. “He’s gonna be such a smart kid, I know it,” he added loud enough for Yuta to hear, “I just wish he would have been able to grow up with Chenle and Jisung.”

“He’ll have a couple of cousins at least,” Yuta said, “which isn’t the same but it’s still a good thing.”

Ten nodded. “As long as he has some kids to grow up with, I’m happy,” he said, “you know, I really hope he has your smile. Just think of the cute pictures we’d get.”

“Yours is cuter,” Yuta said, “and no, you may not argue with me on that.” He had always been a little self conscious of the lower half of his face, but especially his smile, and he didn’t like Ten drawing attention to it.

“Fine, fine I won’t argue,” Ten said. He paused and looked up at Yuta. “Hey, I love you a lot.”

“I love you too, Tennie,” Yuta said, expression softening. He looked down at the baby who was almost asleep in his arms. “Grab the carrier,” he said, “let’s go home.”

Ten did as he was told and soon enough they were back at their apartment. “We should do stuff like this more often when Jaeminnie gets a little bit bigger,” he said. 

“It’s almost a pity he’s a summer baby,” Yuta said, “all his crawling months will be when we’re stuck inside. If we try to go on picnics once he can walk, it’ll be a mess.” A mess he wouldn’t ever miss for the world, but a mess nonetheless.

“We have plenty of time to figure out something before he starts walking,” Ten assured, “and I’ll definitely keep him occupied inside when he’s learning to crawl.”

“We,” Yuta corrected. He lifted Jaemin out of his carrier and settled him in his bassinet instead.

“We’ll keep him occupied,” Ten amended. He couldn’t even begin to express how good it felt that Yuta was finally included. Hopefully everything stayed this way. 

Yuta left Jaemin to sleep and tugged Ten out into the living room with him. He flopped onto the couch, pulling his boyfriend with him.

“Whoa, hi there, babe,” Ten said, a little caught off guard. He twisted so he didn’t land on top of Yuta. 

“Hi,” Yuta said with a soft smile, “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Ten breathed. He wrapped his arms around Yuta and pulled the older man closer. 

Yuta sighed happily and snuggled up to his boyfriend. “Tennie,” he said quietly, “what if this doesn’t work?”

“Then we’ll try something else,” Ten said, “I think going home will help a lot though. Speaking of, if you wanna look at places now, you gotta let me go so I can grab my laptop.”

“How long do we keep trying before you deem me hopeless?” Yuta asked quietly. He shifted off of Ten so the younger man could get up. 

Ten frowned. “If this ever starts to affect Jaemin, that’s where I draw the line. Until then, I’m gonna fight with you to make this work. I don’t want to lose you, Yuta. I really don’t,” he said. 

“If we ever have another kid, will you be angry if this doesn’t happen again?” Yuta asked. These were very real anxieties that he had. 

“I don’t even want to think about having another kid,” Ten said honestly, “Jaemin is more than enough for me.”

“But if it happens,” Yuta pushed, “and I don’t feel as terribly as I did about Jaemin, will you be angry? Will you leave?” 

“No, I won’t be angry and I won’t leave you,” Ten promised. He snagged his laptop out of the kitchen and went to sit back down next to Yuta. “I wouldn’t want you to feel this way again.”

“It would be unfair,” Yuta said, “how could I be so kind to the new baby when I was so hateful of Jaemin?” His voice became quieter. “I just don’t want you to resent me.”

Ten put the laptop to the side and turned his full attention to Yuta. He took both of his boyfriend’s hands in his own. “I wouldn’t resent you. And you didn’t choose to be hateful to Jaemin. I would much rather you be happy with a new baby from the start, but we won’t have to worry about this for years, if ever,” he said, “I wouldn’t be mad about that, I promise.”

“I want a baby that I’m happy about,” Yuta confessed, “not that I’m not becoming happy with Jaemin, but I don’t want to think back to being pregnant and just being miserable.”

Ten sighed. “Okay, we can have another baby,” he agreed, “but let’s wait a couple years. Let’s focus on moving and wait until Jaemin gets a little bit bigger and then we’ll try for another baby.” 

“I love you,” Yuta said quietly, squeezing Ten’s hands gently, “let’s look at some houses, alright?” He was so grateful for Ten.

“I love you too,” Ten said. He let go with one hand and reached for his laptop. He opened it up and powered it on. 

Yuta leaned his head on Ten’s shoulder, peering at his laptop. He was glad that they would have an easier time moving than Taeyong and Kun would, since Yuta spoke Japanese. The only hold up would be a visa for Ten.

“So I have a couple options saved, but I wanted to see what you liked before I kept looking,” Ten said opening his bookmarks, “I haven’t tried to contact anyone though. I figured it would go a little bit better if you did that.”

Yuta hooked his chin over Ten shoulder as the tabs loaded. “You’ve gotten farther than I have,” he said. Even though this had been his idea to begin with, he had barely even looked.

“That just means I can pawn this off to you when we actually start talking to a realtor,” Ten said. He clicked through the couple of houses he had found, but stopped on the last one. “This one’s my favorite so far, but it’s not really in our budget.”

Yuta leaned in a little to see better. “That one’s really nice,” he said, “and not too far from where my sister lives either.”

Ten smiled. “And it has three bedrooms,” he said quietly. 

“Let’s contact the realtor,” Yuta said, “see if I can’t negotiate the price down a bit, finally put my degree to some use.”

“That’s all on you, babe,” Ten said, “although I am very much willing to play good cop, bad cop to knock them down a little if need be.”

Yuta gave Ten an incredulous look. “Say one thing in Japanese,” he said, raising his eyebrows. 

Ten sat up straighter. “Nakamoto Yuta, you know my bullshitting skills are impeccable.  _ And  _ I don’t need to really say anything to be a bad cop. I just gotta be able to rough them up a little,” he said. 

“Ten, I love you, but you’re hilariously not intimidating,” Yuta said, “and you need passable Japanese to do any negotiating.”

Ten pouted. “It’s not my fault you haven’t taught me any,” he grumbled.

“You never asked,” Yuta said, “I’ll talk to you in only Japanese from now on.”

Ten’s eyes widened slightly. “Oh, that’s going to go well,” he mumbled, “in all seriousness though, it’d probably be good to speak to Jaeminnie in Japanese so he learns.”

“I suppose there’s not much point in him learning Korean, is there?” Yuta said. He would probably still teach him anyway, so he could talk to Chenle and Jisung whenever they managed to visit. 

“No, but being bilingual doesn’t hurt,” Ten said, “he’ll be all set if he ever wants to come back.”

“That’s true,” Yuta said, “toss some English and Thai in there and we’ll have the most multilingual toddler on the planet.”

“I’m sure he’ll pick up plenty of English,” Ten said, “we’re gonna have the  _ best  _ toddler on the planet.” Between Yuta’s smarts and his own talents, Jaemin was going to be unstoppable.

“We’d better,” Yuta said, “I went through a lot to get him here.”

“He’s gonna be perfect, just like you,” Ten assured. He leaned over to kiss Yuta’s cheek.

As if on cue, Yuta heard cries coming from down the hallway. He got up and went down the hall to get Jaemin.

“Jaeminnie,” Ten singsonged when Yuta carried the baby out of the bedroom, “what’s going on, cutie? Hungry?”

“I think so,” Yuta said, “should we make you bottle, Jaeminnie?” Obviously, he didn’t get an answer, but he carried the baby into the kitchen nonetheless.

Ten put his laptop to the side and followed his family into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and smiled as he watched Yuta. 

Yuta handed Jaemin off to Ten so he could use both hands to make the bottle of formula. Once it was ready and had been tested on his wrist, he took the baby back and started to feed him.

Ten grabbed a cloth out of the drawer and held onto it for Yuta. “He’s grown so much since he was born, but he’s still so small,” he said. 

“Watch him grow taller than both of us,” Yuta joked fondly. He hoped Jaemin would stay tiny for a while still.

“Hey, hey, hey, we still have a long ways to go before we have to worry about that,” Ten said with a pout. He barely wanted to think about Jaemin sitting up or crawling, let alone being taller than them. 

“I certainly hope so,” Yuta said just as Jaemin finished his bottle. He took the towel from Ten and laid the baby over it on his shoulder to burp him.

Any other day, Ten would tease Yuta about hogging Jaemin, but today he was just happy to see his boyfriend spending so much time with their baby. Instead, he pulled out his phone and snapped a couple of pictures. 

Once Jaemin was burped and everything had been cleaned up, Yuta carried him over to the couch. He sat and laid the baby on top of his thighs.

Ten closed his laptop and went to plug it in. They could contact the realtor tomorrow. He just wanted to spend the rest of today with his family. 

Yuta smiled down at the baby as he played with his hands. “Hi, baby,” he said softly, “did you sleep good?”

Ten sat back down next to Yuta. “Are you in a good mood ‘cause you had a good nap?” he cooed at Jaemin.

Yuta’s smile widened as Jaemin grasped onto his finger and flung his little fist around.

“Look at how strong you are!” Ten praised, “be careful, babe. Next thing you know he’s gonna be challenging you to an arm wrestling match.”

“Are you gonna beat me, Jaeminnie?” Yuta asked. The baby waved his fist again.

“It may be a little too early to tell, but my money’s on Jaemin,” Ten said, “sorry, babe, but you gotta step your game up if you’re gonna stand a chance.” He had missed being able to joke around so much.

“Well, he’s already got me trapped,” Yuta said, lighting tugging his finger that was in the baby’s grasp.

Ten chuckled. “That’s my boy,” he said fondly, “he knows how to make sure you don’t go anywhere.” He leaned over and kissed Yuta’s cheek. 

Yuta smiled down at his son fondly. The baby certainly was growing on him and hopefully this new therapy would make it happen even faster. 

“You do know the rules right?” Ten asked feigning seriousness, “after Jaemin goes back down, I get a turn sitting in your lap.”

Yuta nearly choked. “Ten!” he gasped, affronted, “not in front of the baby!”

Ten laughed at that. He leaned over so he could whisper in Yuta’s ear instead. “Should I say it again or...?” he asked.

Yuta shivered and lifted his shoulders instinctively to block Ten’s breath from hitting his neck. “We still have like a week before I’ll even consider that again,” he scolded.

Ten pouted. “Fine, fine. You can sit in my lap for now,” he said nonchalantly. In all honesty he really just missed making out with his boyfriend. 

“Oh my  _ god _ , Ten,” Yuta said, “ _ no _ . Not happening.”

Ten pouted more. “Not even a little kiss?” he asked innocently. 

“When did you get so thirsty?” Yuta questioned, “save your kisses another couple of weeks and then we’ll see.”

“It’s freaking September, I’m always thirsty,” Ten said, “but I just really missed you. We’ve barely even cuddled lately.”

“I miss you too,” Yuta said, “but you’re being a brat right now.”

Ten gasped. “A brat? Don’t you think that’s a little bit harsh?” he asked, slightly offended. 

“Absolutely not,” Yuta said, “how many times do I have to say no?”

“No, no, I get it,” Ten said quietly. He backed off after that, opting to lean back against the couch and simply watch.

Yuta continued playing with Jaemin until the baby started falling asleep again. With a soft sigh, he stood up and brought the baby back to his bassinet.

Ten took that opportunity to grab the TV remote and sprawl across the couch. He flipped through the channels trying to find something worth watching.

Once Jaemin was down and asleep, Yuta wandered back into the living room. He tipped himself over the arm and landed solidly on top of Ten.

Ten yelped in surprise when Yuta suddenly landed on him. “Are you crazy?” he hissed, “you scared the shit out of me.”

Yuta laughed. “You love me though,” he said, “heavy landings and all.”

“Of course I do, but a warning next time would be great,” Ten said. He wrapped his arms around Yuta and pulled him closer. 

“I’m sorry if I was snippy before,” Yuta mumbled after a minute, “it’s just...it’s been almost a year since we’ve been that intimate. It’s going to be weird.”

“It’s okay, babe, I’m not upset,” Ten soothed, “we’re not gonna do anything you don’t want to do. We can just cuddle for the rest of our lives and that would be fine.”

“I love you,” Yuta said with a sigh, “you’re so amazing, Tennie.”

Ten smiled softly. “I love you too,” he said, “although I would not be opposed to a little smooch every now and then.”

Yuta looked up at Ten and kissed the point of his chin, which was the only part of his boyfriend that he could really reach.

Ten hummed and tightened his grip on Yuta. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t in my life,” he said. 

“I’d probably still be getting dragged around by Johnny,” Yuta said with a heavy sigh.

Ten frowned. “I’m glad I got you away from him. I know he helped you out a lot, but he wasn’t good for you back then,” he said. 

“He wasn’t good for himself back then either,” Yuta said, “I’m just glad that he got help. It sucks that some things didn’t end up changing for him.”

Ten hummed. “Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can really do about that,” he said. 

Yuta sighed. “I think he’s still in love with us,” he said quietly.

Ten stilled. “Yuta, I know he meant a lot to you and he’s been around more often lately, but that doesn’t mean he’s holding onto the same puppy love he had in college,” he paused for a moment, “you...you don’t want him back do you?”

“No, of course not,” Yuta said, “I just can’t think of any other reason why he would suddenly feel the need to avoid us.”

Ten let out the breath he was holding. “I’m not really sure what to tell you, babe. I don’t really think that’s the case, but maybe it is. It would make sense why he would want to be around you when I was gone and flake out again the minute I got back,” he said. 

“He didn’t really flake out because you got back,” Yuta defended, “he flaked out when Jaemin arrived.”

“Maybe he just couldn’t handle the fact that you moved on and he didn’t,” Ten said airily, “but no matter the reason, you can’t get hung up on him. I’m sorry he disappeared again, but it’s better for us if we just all live our own separate lives.”

“I’m not hung up on him,” Yuta huffed, “I’m worried about him because he’s my  _ friend _ .”

Ten forced himself not to roll his eyes. Johnny was not worth them getting in an argument. “Then go tell him. Talking to me about it isn’t gonna help. If you’re that dead set on helping him, you’re gonna have to put the effort in, ‘cause he won’t,” he said. 

Yuta sighed. “You don’t have to be such a jerk to him,” he mumbled, “even if it’s true, he hasn’t been anything but respectful and honest.”

“I’m not being a jerk, Yuta, but you’re telling me the man who walked all over you in college is still in love with you and you want to help him. How am I supposed to react? I’m terrified out of my mind he’s going to take you away from me and I don’t know what I’d do if that ever happened,” Ten said.

“First of all, that’s not what I said, I said he  _ might  _ still be in love with  _ us _ ,” Yuta said, a little crossly, “and second, how can you still doubt me after everything? You really think I’d leave you for him? After all I just went through for you?”

“There’s no way I’m part of this even if it is true. I just know it,” Ten said calmly, “and it’s not you I don’t trust, it’s him.”

“You don’t need to trust him,” Yuta said, “if you’re scared that you’ll lose me to him, that means you’re scared I’ll give in to him, which means you don’t trust  _ me _ . And trust me, you’re definitely part of it. He knew he was in love with you well before he realized he was in love with me.”

Ten didn’t like to think about the possibility of Johnny still being in love with him. “I trust you. I promise,” he said quietly, “I just don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Yuta said, “I promise.”

Ten tilted his head down so he could kiss Yuta properly. “I love you so much,” he said. 

“I love you too,” Yuta murmured, kissing Ten back, “you pick a movie, I’ll go make some popcorn.”

Ten helped Yuta up and reached for the remote. He clicked through the channels until he found a romcom they could easily ignore. 

Yuta tossed a bag of popcorn in the microwave and dicked around on his phone as he waited for it to finish. Once it stopped popping, he took it out and poured it all in a bowl then returned to the living room.

Ten sat up when Yuta came back into the room. He didn’t even wait for his boyfriend to sit down before he grabbed a handful of popcorn. 

“Greedy,” Yuta teased. He sat on the couch and tossed his legs over Ten’s lap. He wiggled his toes, trying to hint at Ten to rub his feet.

Ten pouted and snagged another handful of popcorn. He glanced at Yuta’s feet and then back up at his boyfriend. “What’s the magic word?” he asked. 

“I just birthed your child and everything still hurts,” Yuta joked. 

“Alright, alright,” Ten surrendered. He ate one last handful of popcorn before beginning to massage one of Yuta’s feet. “You’re really lucky I love you,” he added as he wrinkled his nose. 

“Thanks, baby,” Yuta said with a sigh, “you’re the best.”

Ten hummed. “I’m not sure about that. Jaeminnie might have me beat now,” he said. 

“He might when he’s old enough to do this,” Yuta said with a smile.

“Are you really already planning to use our child for slave labor?” Ten asked with a raised eyebrow, “shame on you, our poor son.”

“It’s not slave labor,” Yuta scoffed, “I’ll give him an allowance.”

Ten rolled his eyes. “Oh there ya go. It can go towards his college fund,” he joked. 

“I don’t even want to think about that yet,” Yuta said, “he’s barely a month old, Tennie.”

“I know, but it’s honestly not a bad idea to start thinking about that now,” Ten said, “not right this moment, but soon.”

“Maybe when he starts preschool,” Yuta said. Anything else would be way too early. Plus, it wasn’t like he was going to force Jaemin to go to college if he didn’t want to.

Ten nodded in agreement. He laid Yuta’s foot back in his lap and reached for the other one. 

Yuta sighed happily as Ten worked his foot. “Thanks, babe,” he said, “that feels really good.”

Ten smiled softly. “I’m glad I can help,” he said, “do you love me enough to feed me some popcorn? My hands are a little...busy.” 

Yuta grabbed a handful of popcorn and fed them to Ten one piece at a time. He realized that he hadn’t paid attention to the movie at all.

Ten hummed. “Thanks, baby,” he said, “is the movie any good? I haven’t been watching it.”

“Neither have I,” Yuta said with a small laugh, “we should probably just turn it off.”

Ten reached over and clicked the TV off. He sat back and let a comfortable silence envelop them. The baby monitor sat on the coffee table, quiet for now as Jaemin continued to sleep. 

Yuta set the empty bowl on the coffee table and cuddled up to Ten’s shoulder. He was sleepy now and could definitely stand to take a nap with his boyfriend.

“Hi, sleepyhead,” Ten said fondly. He wrapped his arms around Yuta and repositioned them both so they were lying together on the couch. 

Yuta let Ten rearrange them and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s middle. “Hi,” he mumbled.

“Get some rest, baby,” Ten murmured, “I’ll check on Jaeminnie when he wakes up.”

“You should sleep too,” Yuta said quietly, “naptime for everyone.”

Ten hummed. A nap sounded really nice, especially with Yuta wrapped in his arms. “I love you so much. I know I say it all the time, but it’s true. I promise I’ll find a better way to prove it soon,” he said. 

“I love you too,” Yuta said through a yawn, “so, so much.”


	14. Chapter 14

Over the next couple of days, Ten thought about how to fulfill his promise. He had something he had been planning for a long time, but he kept going back and forth if the timing was right. Finally, he forced himself to stop stalling. He waited for Yuta to put Jaemin down for his nap before snagging the little box out of his nightstand and going to find his boyfriend. 

Once Jaemin was down, Yuta was sitting in bed, laptop on his lap, as he sat on the phone with the realtor. He had been going back and forth over the last few days, trying to negotiate the price on the house down to something that they could afford.

This was the first time in a while that Ten was genuinely nervous to talk to Yuta. This conversation could go horribly and he honestly didn’t know what he would do if it did. “Hey, babe, I know you’re really busy right now, but I have to ask you something,” he said nervously.

Yuta held up a finger and quickly finished up his phone conversation and hung up. “What’s up, Tennie?” he asked.

Ten twisted his fingers together nervously. Here went nothing. “I’ve been thinking a lot the past couple days about how much I love you and how much I don’t want to lose you. I promised you that I would find a way to prove it to you than just saying ‘I love you’ over and over. And I realized that the only way I can prove it is by showing you how serious I am about how much I love you,” he pulled the box out of his pocket and slowly opened it to reveal a simple gold band, “Nakamoto Yuta, you are the love of my life and nothing would make me happier than spending the rest of my life with you as more than just boyfriends.” His heart was beating out of his chest and he just watched Yuta’s face to try and gauge his reaction.

Yuta was struck speechless. Ten...wanted to marry him? Ten wanted to spend the rest of his life with him? He didn’t know what to say.

Ten began to panic when Yuta didn’t say anything. “I know it’s a big commitment, but we’re going to be moving together, we have Jaemin now, and this could be the last piece that makes everything perfect,” he explained quickly. “It’s...it’s okay if the answer’s ‘no,’” he added in a small voice. 

“Yes,” Yuta finally managed to gasp out, “yes, Tennie, oh my god!”

Ten felt all of the tension rush out of him and he smiled widely. He would have let out a happy whoop had Jaemin not been fast asleep in his crib. He took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Yuta’s finger with shaking hands.

Yuta barely gave Ten any time to actually put the ring on him before he flung his arms around the younger man’s neck and hugged him tightly.

Ten hugged Yuta back immediately. Now Yuta was officially all his for the rest of his life, but more importantly… “You know this means you’re stuck with me, right? No returns and no refunds,” he said, only half joking. 

“I wouldn’t want to anyway,” Yuta said, “I love you so much, Ten, what the fuck?” He was half laughing and half crying at this point.

“Oh my God, please don’t cry,” Ten said, “I love you so much too. I’m sorry the ring isn’t anything special. I really wasn’t sure which one to get so I just kept it simple.”

“No, no, it’s perfect,” Yuta sobbed, “I love it so much, Tennie.”

Ten’s smile widened. “I’m so glad you like it,” he said, “I love you so so so much and I can’t wait for the day I get to officially call you my husband.” He let out a small giggle. Husband. The word made him giddy.

“Maybe we will get our Tae and Kun style love story after all,” Yuta said, sniffling as he finally calmed down.

“We’re gonna get our own love story and it’s gonna be absolutely perfect,” Ten said. He rubbed Yuta’s back soothingly. Today was one of the best days they’ve had in a long time and it wasn’t even over yet.

“Oh my god, I have to tell Taeyong,” Yuta said, pulling away from Ten and grabbing his phone. He clicked on the clock app to make sure that Taeyong would be awake still before FaceTiming his best friend.

Ten chuckled fondly. He sat next to Yuta and tried to keep the wide grin off his face so he didn’t give anything away.

Taeyong seemed exhausted as he answered the phone. He was probably still dealing with jetlag, and the activity of moving must have been taking a lot out of him as well. “Yukkuri, what’s up?” he asked.

Ten nudged Yuta. “Show him, babe,” he encouraged gently. It took all of his self control not to just blurt out the news.

Yuta bit his lip and slowly raised his left hand into the frame of the camera. It took Taeyong a second then he gasped. “Oh my god!” he cried, “congratulations!”

Ten smiled widely and leaned over to kiss Yuta’s cheek. “Thanks, Taeyong. Is Kun around by any chance?” he asked. 

“Yeah, let me go grab him,” Taeyong said, getting up from wherever he was sitting, “I’m sure Lele will want to say hi too.”

Ten smiled when he heard footsteps that were obviously Chenle’s. Suddenly a mop of brown hair popped onto the screen. “Uncle Tennie!” Chenle said excitedly. Ten chuckled. “Hi, Lele. Did you see who else is here?” he asked. “Hi, Uncle Yu,” Chenle said when he realized Yuta was also there. Kun chuckled and grabbed the phone from Taeyong to hold it for Chenle. 

“Hi, Lele,” Yuta said, “are you having fun in Los Angeles?”

“Yes, yes!” Chenle said, “but miss you.” “We miss you too, kiddo. We’ll see you soon though, I promise,” Ten said. They definitely wouldn’t be able to come yet with Jaemin, but the baby would be old enough by the time Kun and Taeyong’s wedding came around. “I miss you both too, but I also know you too well to know you didn’t call for no reason,” Kun said.

Yuta grinned widely and lifted his hand into frame again, wiggling his fingers to show off the ring.

Kun’s mouth dropped open. “I’ve been waiting for this phone call forever,” he said, “congrats, guys! That’s so awesome. I’m really happy for you.” “Thanks, Kunnie,” Ten said softly. He snuck a look at Yuta.

“Thanks, Kun,” Yuta said, “I’m really happy. And we’re in the process of purchasing a house in Osaka.”

“That’s great! Tennie, have you been practicing your Japanese?” Kun asked. “Uh, yeah a little bit,” Ten said sheepishly. Kun gave him a look. “Okay, no, not really, but you know I’ll pick it up fast enough when we get there,” Ten defended.

“How about you guys?” Yuta asked, “how’s your English coming along?” Taeyong gasped, affronted by his best friend’s dig.

“Oh, babe, that was mean,” Ten said with a chuckle. Chenle was confused and tapped Taeyong on the side to get his attention. “Baba, what’s going on?” he whispered into his father’s ear.

“Uncle Tennie and Uncle Yu are gonna get married,” Taeyong explained to Chenle, “and they’re moving from Korea to Japan.”

Chenle gasped dramatically and clapped his hands together. “Thanks, Lele,” Ten said with a chuckle. He really wished he could reach through the phone and ruffle the boy’s hair. 

“Alright, kiddo, it’s bedtime for you,” Taeyong said. Chenle waved goodbye and Kun took him to bed. “How’s Jaemin?” Taeyong asked once he had the phone back.

Ten glanced at the bassinet. “He’s good. Sleeping right now, but he’ll probably wake up in a little bit. I would get him now, but he gets cranky if you bother him when he’s sleeping,” he said. 

“How’s Jisung?” Yuta asked. “He’s good!” Taeyong answered, “the realtor that’s been helping us has two kids around Lele’s age and one of them has really taken to Jisung.”

“Aw that’s so cute,” Ten mused, “that’s good that they’ll have some friends to grow up with.” He hoped there would be some kids around Jaemin’s age nearby when they moved so that he could have some friends to romp around the neighborhood with.

“Yeah, it’s really helped the transition a lot,” Taeyong said with a sigh. It had been a crazy week and he was glad to be able to talk to his best friend.

Ten smiled softly. He missed their friends a lot. Even though it had only been a week, it was still weird not living within driving distance from Taeyong and Kun. He took one of Yuta’s hands in his own and leaned his head on his fiance’s shoulder.

“We’ll let you guys go so you can get to bed,” Yuta said, “we’ll call again soon, alright?”

“We miss you guys a lot,” Ten added. They bid their goodbyes and hung up the call. The moment Yuta’s phone was on his nightstand, Ten tackled him in another hug.

Yuta grunted when Ten landed on top of him. “You’re heavy,” he whined.

“It’s all the love I have for you,” Ten said. He rolled to the side so he wasn’t crushing Yuta. 

“Gross,” Yuta groaned, “that’s so greasy.” He didn’t actually hate it, but he liked teasing Ten.

“It’s just your effect on me. I turn into a huge sap whenever I’m around you. I can’t help it,” Ten said with a pout, “I’d like to think it’s rather cute of me.”

“I think it’s somewhat embarrassing of you, but you’re cute enough to make it work,” Yuta said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about ‘cause I’m not embarrassed in the slightest,” Ten said, “oh man, the pressure’s really on now for our vows, huh? I gotta start thinking about them now.”

“I’m sure you have plenty of time,” Yuta said, “we’re buying a house and raising a baby, remember? It’ll be a bit before we have the wedding.”

Ten sighed. “Yeah, we have time. We gotta make sure everything’s perfect though,” he said, “maybe we can wait long enough that Jaemin can be part of it.”

“I like that idea,” Yuta said, “and that way we won’t have to worry about getting someone to keep an eye on him during the ceremony.”

“Exactly. Oh, he’d look so cute in a little suit,” Ten said fondly. He made a mental note to look for a suit onesie next time he went shopping for Jaemin. There was no harm in getting the baby some nice clothes now.

Yuta sighed happily and wrapped his arms around Ten. “I love you,” he said sincerely. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and opened his camera. He got Ten to actually hold the camera and take the picture while Yuta laid with his left hand on his fiance’s shoulder while kissing his cheek. Once the picture was posted to Instagram, he set the phone aside and snuggled up close.

Ten smiled widely as he pulled Yuta completely against him. “I love you more,” he replied easily. They laid together for a while before Jaemin woke up with a quiet whine. Ten kissed Yuta softly and slipped out of bed to take care of their son.

Johnny had just submitted his presentation for the conference when he got a notification that Yuta had posted a photo on Instagram. When he opened it, he could feel his heart shatter. Yuta and Ten were engaged. With a heavy sigh, he commented a quick “congratulations!” and locked his phone.

Yuta’s phone kept buzzing with notifications of likes and comments on the picture. “You sure are popular, babe,” he commented. He paced back and forth across the bedroom, gently bouncing Jaemin as he walked. 

Johnny took a deep breath and pulled himself together. He had known that this would be coming someday and that it wouldn’t involve him. All he could do now was support them.

Now that Jaemin was rested, fed, and changed, he was content to peer around the bedroom a little bit. Ten walked around for another couple of minutes and then went to lay back in bed. He laid Jaemin on his chest and made sure the baby was facing Yuta.

“Hi, kiddo,” Yuta said, reaching out a finger for Jaemin to latch onto. It had been a few days since he’d started taking the antidepressants and he wasn’t sure if they were working yet, but he had certainly been more kind to himself about his relationship with the baby.

Jaemin grabbed onto Yuta’s finger with no intent on letting go. His eyes followed his father’s voice. “Lean a little closer so he can see you, babe,” Ten said. 

Yuta scooted closer, smiling at the baby when he noticed Jaemin focus on him.

“There’s Papa!” Ten said. He rubbed Jaemin’s back and watched fondly as Jaemin seemed to be taking in every detail of Yuta’s face.

“Hi, Jaeminnie,” Yuta said softly, “how’d you sleep, baby? You sleep good?”

Jaemin didn’t answer, of course, so Ten filled in the gaps. He rattled off an elaborate story of a dream Jaemin most definitely did not have. 

Yuta chuckled at his fiance’s antics. Finally extracting his finger from the baby’s grip, he picked him up from Ten’s hands and laid him on his own chest.

Ten pouted when Yuta took Jaemin from him. “Baby thief,” he mumbled under his breath.

“Hey, I’m the one that put the work in,” Yuta said with a pout, “I have full theft rights.”

“You know that excuse isn’t gonna last forever, right?” Ten said, “I deserve baby rights like ten percent of the time.” He smirked.

“Yeah, and you just used your ten percent,” Yuta retorted.

Ten pouted. “Come on, babe, I wanna cuddle with him too,” he whined. He knew he was being childish but he wanted his baby time too. 

“I have a lot of weeks to make up for,” Yuta said, but he moved Jaemin off his chest to lay on his belly on the bed between them.

Ten couldn’t argue with that. “We’re just gonna have to learn how to share, huh, baby?” he asked rhetorically. 

“I’m sure he’ll have a favorite soon enough,” Yuta said, already knowing it was going to be Ten. HIs fiance was just so good with the baby.

“There’s no way. And if he does, I hope he never tells us,” Ten said. He was more than happy to

share Jaemin if it meant everyone was happy.

“I think it’s inevitable,” Yuta said, “and you know how opinionated and straightforward toddlers are.”

“I do but I also know that Chenle doesn’t have a favorite. And you know that kid says everything on that’s on his mind,” Ten said. 

“That I do,” Yuta said, “and I also know that Kun’s his favorite even if he doesn’t realize it.”

“He just got used to Kun faster because he speaks Chinese,” Ten said, “Chenle loves them both equally and Jaemin loves us both equally.”

“Jaemin’s a month old,” Yuta said, “he just likes us because we feed him.”

Ten laughed and rolled his eyes. “And we keep him clean, and we sing to him, and we cuddle with him. He loves us for a lot more than just food,” he said. 

“Food’s definitely the main thing though, right, Jaeminnie?” Yuta asked, patting the baby’s butt.

“Probably,” Ten agreed, “but I’m sure the cuddling will grow on him.”

“I certainly hope so,” Yuta said. He kissed the top of the baby’s head before laying down so they were eye to eye.

“I wish he stayed this small forever. Although I would be happy to never have to change a dirty diaper ever again,” Ten said. 

“Well, buckle up for a couple more years of that,” Yuta said, “right, baby?”

“I guess I can deal with ten percent of diaper changes,” Ten teased, “that was the deal right?”

“That ten percent is gonna become fifty percent real quick,” Yuta said, “especially since you’ll be home much more than I will.”

“It’s all or nothing. I’m not doing fifty percent of the diaper changes for only ten percent of the cuddles,” Ten said. 

“I suppose I can agree to those terms,” Yuta said, “but I demand sixty-forty for the time being.”

“Deal,” Ten said. He wasn’t about to give up his cuddling time that easy. 

Yuta smiled and kissed Jaemin’s cheek again before getting up. “I’m gonna shower,” he said.

“We’ll miss you,” Ten said. He picked up Jaemin and laid the baby across his chest again. 

Yuta smiled fondly, quickly snapping a picture of the two before he went to shower. Things were looking up.


	15. Chapter 15

Ten, against his better judgement, was on his way to Johnny’s office with Jaemin. Yuta had arranged a time for him to see the baby, but of course the universe decided to have fun and make it so Ten had to go alone. 

Johnny was a little nervous for Ten to come over with the baby. Of course, he was excited to be able to spend some time with Jaemin, but being around Ten had always made him anxious.

“Alright, baby, let’s get this over with,” Ten mumbled when they reached the office. He knocked on the door and waited a moment before letting themselves in. 

“Hey, come on in,” Johnny said, standing up. He pulled over an additional chair so Ten could set the baby carrier down.

Ten set the diaper bag on the floor out of the way and set the carrier on the floor. “I know you wanna get out of here,” he said as he unbuckled Jaemin. The baby was awake and trying to peer around at his new surroundings. 

“He’s gotten so big since the last time I saw him,” Johnny commented, slowly sitting back down behind his desk.

“He’s growing like a weed,” Ten said fondly. “All free!” he announced as he unbuckled the last strap. He lifted Jaemin out of the carrier and held him so he could look around better. 

“He’s, what, five weeks now?” Johnny asked.

“Yup. You’re getting so old, huh, Jaeminnie?” Ten teased. He rubbed his nose against his son’s and smiled softly. “I’m sorry Yuta couldn’t come with me. He’s been stuck on the phone with the realtor all day.”

“It’s alright, he sent me a text that it would just be you coming,” Johnny said, “it’s good that he’s finally getting somewhere with the house though.”

Ten nodded. “We found something we really like so now we’re just trying to see if we can negotiate the price a little lower,” he said. He watched Jaemin for a moment. The whole point of the visit was for Johnny to see Jaemin and Ten knew that Yuta would have his head if he didn’t at least offer for Johnny to hold the baby. “Did you, uh, wanna hold him for a little bit?” he asked slowly.

“Oh, sure!” Johnny said, sitting up in his chair, “if that’s alright.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ten said. He rounded the desk and paused for a moment before handing Jaemin over to Johnny. “He slept all the way here so he should be up for a while.”

Johnny carefully took Jaemin and settled him in the crook of his arm. “Hi, kiddo,” he said softly, letting the baby latch onto his finger. 

Ten took a small step back. For as much as Jaemin had grown over the last month, he still looked absolutely tiny in Johnny’s arms. 

“You know, I’m really gonna miss you a lot once you guys move,” Johnny said softly. 

Ten paused. It was a little odd that Johnny would miss Jaemin, considering he barely knew the baby, but it wasn’t too weird. The older man was used to having kids around to play with all the time and soon they would all be moved away.

“I’m happy for you guys though,” he continued, “it’ll be really good for Yuta to be back home. And I’m sure you’re excited to be a little closer to home too.”

Ten froze. Had Johnny been talking to him the whole time? No, that was ridiculous. “Oh, uh, yeah. Yuta’s been doing a lot better recently, but he’s really excited to be moving back,” he said.

“Yeah, he told me a lot about how much he’s been missing his sister,” Johnny said, “he didn’t get to go home when his nephew was first born, so I know he’s really excited to see her.”

Ten hummed. “Yeah, he really misses his family. I almost wish we had this conversation sooner so we could have moved earlier, but everything’s gonna work out,” he said. 

“Better late than never,” Johnny said. His attention turned back to Jaemin as the baby yawned widely. “You awake now, kiddo?” he asked rhetorically.

Ten smiled softly. “He’s really so adorable,” he said fondly. He couldn’t help himself. He was just so in love with his son. 

“He looks a lot like you,” Johnny commented with a soft smile, “especially the nose.”

“Yuta said the same thing, but I don’t see it,” Ten said with a pout. He really didn’t think Jaemin looked like him. He’d have to ask Kun to settle this next time he called his friend. 

“It’s really cute,” Johnny murmured, “I’m sure it’ll be easier to see when he’s a little bigger.”

Ten chewed on his lip. “I hope he looks more like Yuta when he’s older,” he admitted.

“Really?” Johnny asked, “I mean, I’m sure he’ll look a lot like the both of you.”

“Of course. Yuta’s fucking adorable and I want our son to look like him. But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens,” Ten said. 

“You’re adorable too, Tennie,” Johnny said without thinking, “don’t discredit yourself.”

Ten nearly choked. He just stared at Johnny for a moment trying to register what the older man just said. He cleared his throat and tried to collect himself. “M-Me? Oh, no no,” he said awkwardly. 

“You always have been,” Johnny continued, “but I guess part of it’s probably because of how small you are.”

Ten was reeling. Johnny hadn’t called him cute, or any variant for that matter, since college. And he certainly hadn’t commented about his height either. “You know, size isn’t everything,” he said, crossing his arms. 

“Oh, I’m aware,” Johnny said offhandedly before catching himself, “I just mean, uh, that your height has nothing to do with your...abilities? Of any kind!”

Ten raised his eyebrows. “Yeah,” he said slowly, “are you okay? You’ve been acting weird ever since I got here.”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” Johnny said, “just distracted by this cute-ass baby. Right, Jaeminnie?”

Ten rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure, that’s it,” he muttered under his breath. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, hoping for a message from Yuta saying he needed to come home, but there was nothing. 

Jaemin’s eyes were intently focused over Johnny’s shoulder and it took him a second to realize what was distracting the baby: the prism that hung in his window. “You like the pretty lights, baby?” he asked.

Ten relaxed when Johnny’s attention turned back to Jaemin. That was the most awkward conversation they’d had in a long time, and almost every other time they’d talked, they’d argued. 

“Have you managed to find somewhere to work in Osaka?” Johnny asked, turning his attention back to Ten.

Ten sighed sadly. “No, my boss wasn’t willing to talk to any studios for me, so I’m on my own. And I can’t talk to any studios until my Japanese is passable so it’s up in the air ‘til I get my shit together,” he said. 

“Hey, that’s probably good though,” Johnny said, “that’ll give you some time to get settled and spend time with Yuta and Jaemin.”

Ten hummed. “It’s not the most ideal situation, but I’m sure it’ll all work out,” he said. It dawned on him that it was probably a good thing that Yuta didn’t come today. He wouldn’t have been able to investigate his fiancé’s beliefs otherwise. “Are you gonna finally back off trying to get Yuta back when we leave?”

“I’m...not doing that,” Johnny answered awkwardly, “I don’t know where you got the idea that I am, but that’s never what I was trying to do.”

“Oh, really? Because Yuta has this wild idea that you’re still in love with him. And you have to have done  _ something  _ while you two were alone to make him think that,” Ten said. 

Johnny froze. He had really been that transparent. “I wasn’t trying to do anything,” he said slowly, “I guess I’m just not that good at hiding my emotions.”

Ten’s eyes widened. “So it’s true?” he asked shakily. This changed everything. “And you want me to believe you tried  _ nothing _ . No way, Johnny. How the hell did you hold onto this for so many years?”

“I’ve never been in love with anyone else,” Johnny said, honest and sincere, “but I promise, I never tried anything with Yuta. I wouldn’t do that you two.”

Ten stared at Johnny, trying to find a fault in what he said, but even he wasn’t stupid enough to ignore the sincerity in the older man’s voice. “And spending so much time with him was really just to help?” he asked quietly. 

“Yes,” Johnny said firmly, “I even made it clear to him. I wasn’t ever talking to him as his friend Johnny, but as a professor of psychology. I promise, Ten. Besides, if I  _ had _ been trying to do something, it would have been with both of you.”

Ten froze and stared up at Johnny for a minute. “B-Both of us? What the fuck do you mean?” he asked shakily. There was no way Johnny would want the both of them. It just didn’t add up.

“I’m...still in love with both of you,” Johnny said slowly, “I thought that was what we were talking about.”

The only thing keeping Ten from backing up was the fact that Johnny was still holding Jaemin. “No, no, no. This is about you and Yuta.  _ I _ have nothing to do with this. You’re not...you’re not in love with both of us. It’s just Yuta,” he said more to convince himself than anything. 

“No, Ten, it’s not,” Johnny said, “I knew I was in love with you well before I realized I was in love with Yuta. It’s always been about both of you.”

Ten shook his head. “You’re lying. We slept together a couple of times. What we had was nothing compared to what you had with Yuta. There’s...there’s no way,” he said, not even entirely believing himself. 

“Why would I lie to you about this?” Johnny asked, “what the hell would I gain from that?”

“I-I don’t know,” Ten said quietly, “I just thought this was all about Yuta. There’s no reason for you to still love me too.”

“There’s no reason for anyone to love anyone,” Johnny said, “I don’t know what you want me to say, Ten.”

“When I was talking with Yuta, he was insistent you might still love both of us, but I didn’t believe him. I-I thought it was just him, but…” Ten trailed off. His mind was still trying to register what was happening.

“It’s always been both of you,” Johnny said heavily, “but it doesn’t matter anyway. You guys are together and I respect that.”

“This isn’t good for you,” Ten said, “Holding onto something from eight years isn’t a good way to live. I know it’s not that easy, but Johnny, there’s gotta be something else.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Johnny asked rhetorically, “you think Taeyong hasn’t told me that over and over? It’s been eight years, Ten. If I haven’t gotten over you by now, I’m not going to.”

“I don’t know what to do for you,” Ten admitted in a small voice. His eyes darted between Jaemin and Johnny.

“I’m not asking you to do anything,” Johnny said, “I never planned on either of you finding out and you’re moving anyway, so it’s not like it matters.”

Ten exhaled and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know what to say,” he admitted quietly.

“Just forget about it,” Johnny said, “it doesn’t matter.”

“How am I supposed to just forget about this? The man I thought was only with me in college for a good fuck just admitted he’s been in love with me for the last eight years. I can’t just let this go,” Ten said quietly.

“Do you really have a choice?” Johnny asked, “you guys are engaged now. My time has long since passed.”

Ten sighed. “Yeah, I...I guess you’re right,” he mumbled. He needed to get home to Yuta soon.

“Just...please don’t tell Yuta about this,” Johnny said with a heavy sigh, “he  _ just _ started talking to me again and I don’t want him to think that I have any ulterior motives.”

“I won’t say anything, but he already has an idea,” Ten said, “and he knows you don’t have any ulterior motives. He’s defended you before.”

“Thinking you know something and actually knowing it are two very different things,” Johnny said, “knowing it’s true might change what he thinks and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want him to doubt our interactions.”

“I won’t say anything,” Ten promised. He glanced at Jaemin, who was blissfully unaware of what was going on and had even snuggled into Johnny’s chest.

Following Ten’s gaze, Johnny looked down at the baby. Jaemin was half asleep, cuddled happily in his arms, and Johnny had to take a moment to control himself before he could look up at Ten again. He had always wanted children of his own and seeing Ten and Yuta’s son so comfortable with him was...a lot, almost too much, to handle.

“He’s never had so much...arm to sleep in before so I think he’s trying to make the most of it,” Ten said quietly. It was weird seeing the baby so content to sleep in someone’s arms other than his or Yuta’s.

“Well, I’m always available to babysit if you need me to,” Johnny offered, “Uncle J to the rescue.”

“Thanks, Johnny. We’ll definitely need a night off at some point so I’m sure we’ll take you up on that,” Ten said. If Jaemin had taken this much of a liking to Johnny, there really wasn’t a good reason not to have the older man babysit.

“Of course,” Johnny said with a soft smile, “anything for the little guy.”

Ten sighed and leaned against the wall behind him. Maybe it wasn’t better to have Johnny stay away from them. 

Johnny continued holding Jaemin until it was clear the baby was fast asleep. “Hey, thanks for coming,” he said as he handed him back to Ten, “it really means a lot.”

Ten smiled softly. “Yeah, no problem. I can imagine it’s weird not having Chenle or Jisung around so we figured he might help fill in the gap,” he said. 

“I mean, it’s not like he’s replacing them,” Johnny said hurriedly, “it just means a lot that you even trust me to be around him.”

“You’re gonna have to thank Yuta for that. He really wants you to be a part of Jaemin’s life and I, uh, I understand why now,” Ten said. 

“My superior uncling skills,” Johnny said with a nod, “I get it.”

“You’re just a natural with kids,” Ten said, “it’s actually pretty amazing.”

“One of my sisters is significantly older than me and got pregnant pretty young, so I’ve been babysitting since I was like ten,” Johnny explained, “I’ve got a whole resume’s worth of experience.”

“You could make another career out of this,” Ten said, “although I’m sure teaching is widely similar to babysitting.”

“College kids are only mildly more independent in that they don’t usually shit themselves,” Johnny joked with a smile, “although I am considering taking a licensing test so I can actually treat people and focus on kids.”

Ten snorted. “Mildly more independent,” he repeated, “but hey, that’s great. I think you should go for it. You’d be the perfect person to work with kids.”

“I’ll be all alone here pretty soon, so I might as well find something to keep me occupied, right?” Johnny joked.

Ten cleared his throat and looked down at Jaemin. “Yeah, that’s one way to look at it,” he said awkwardly.

“Hey, don’t, like, feel bad for me or anything,” Johnny said sincerely, “it’s a good thing for you guys and that’s all that matters.”

“It’s a good thing for Yuta,” Ten said simply, “I guess I should probably get the little guy home before he wakes up cranky and looking for food.”

“Just let me pack up my bag and I’ll walk out with you,” Johnny said, already shutting his laptop and unplugging it.

Ten carefully buckled Jaemin back into his carrier. He grabbed the bag and slung it over his shoulder while he waited for Johnny to pack up. 

Johnny finished packing up all of his stuff and grabbed his wallet off the desk. He locked the door from inside then waited for Ten to step into the hall before flicking off the lights and closing the door.

“I’m sure you’ll be hearing from Yuta soon,” Ten said. He held onto the carrier tightly, trying to stop it from jostling Jaemin around too much. 

“I’ll look forward to it,” Johnny said with a smile. He led Ten with Jaemin out to the visitor’s parking lot. “Let me know when you two are set to move; I’ll come help you pack.”

“Oh, thanks, that would be great actually,” Ten said. He carefully put the carrier in the back of the car and triple checked it before closing the door. “It was good to see you, Johnny.” 

“It was good to see you too,” Johnny said warmly, “I hope we’re okay from here on out.”

Ten sighed softly. “Yeah, we’re okay,” he said quietly.

“That’s good to hear,” Johnny said with a smile, “keep in touch, alright?” With that, he set off toward the bus stop.

Ten drove home, replaying the conversation he had with Johnny over, and over, and over. There was no way he couldn’t tell Yuta. There was just no way. 

Yuta had spent most of the day going back and forth with the realtor, trying to figure out the best way to make the house work in their budget. He was also working submitting his resume to a number of firms in Japan, all while making sure his current boss didn’t figure out that he was moving yet.

“Hi, babe!” Ten called when he pushed open the door, “we’re home.”

“How was your visit with Johnny?” Yuta asked. He stood up from the kitchen table, stretching to crack his back, and kissed Ten sweetly before bending to kiss Jaemin’s forehead.

“It was fine,” Ten said slowly. He knew he promised not to tell Yuta, but there was no way he was going to be able to keep this to himself. 

“That’s great!” Yuta said, “I think Mr. Terada and I finally figured out the budgeting, come look.”

Ten took Jaemin out of the carrier and followed Yuta back over to his computer. “So it’s gonna work?” he asked. 

“Hopefully,” Yuta said, “we may even be able to do it without a loan.”

Ten heaved a sigh of relief. “That would definitely be ideal, but is it smart?” he asked.

“He thinks we’ll be okay,” Yuta said, “especially since all of my budgeting has been based on my paid leave rate, not what I’ll actually be making.”

Ten nodded. “That’s really great, babe,” he said. He didn’t have the heart to be excited, especially when his visit with Johnny was still weighing on his mind. “So I, uh, promised Johnny I wouldn’t tell you what we talked about, but I think you deserve to know.”

Yuta knew Ten wasn’t one to break his promises on purpose like this, so he turned off his computer and led his fiancé to the couch. “What happened?” he asked. 

“You were right,” Ten said in a small voice, “I brought up him backing off when we move away and he admitted he’s been in love with both of us since college. I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

“I’m sorry, Tennie,” Yuta said softly, knowing how shocked his fiancé must have been.

“I always just thought it was you,” Ten admitted, “and he didn’t want me to tell you because he didn’t want you to think he was just talking to you again to try and get back with you. He was really sincere about everything. I’m sorry, I couldn’t not tell you.”

“It’s okay, Ten,” Yuta said, “I knew, right? I can’t tell him not to feel like that. We just need to give him time.”

Ten nodded. “Yeah, yeah,” he agreed quietly, “I’m really excited about the house, I promise. Today was just a lot. On top of all that, Jaemin was so content with Johnny and even fell asleep right in his arms.”

“Well, we know Johnny’s a natural with kids,” Yuta said with a fond smile, “he used to be the only one his niece would fall asleep for.”

Ten sighed quietly. “He offered to babysit. I told him we’d probably take him up on that offer ‘cause we could definitely use a date night. Oh, that and helping us pack everything,” he said. 

“That would be great if he could help,” Yuta said, “I’m sure I can wrangle Yukhei and Jungwoo into helping too.”

“They would definitely love to help. Although I’m sure Jungwoo would be much happier just keeping an eye on Jaeminnie for us,” Ten said. 

“Someone’s got to,” Yuta said with a shrug, “and I’d much rather help pack. I haven’t been able to do that much physical labor in months.”

Ten hummed. “As long as you don’t push yourself too much, packing will definitely be good for you,” he said. 

“I mean, after this week, I’m allowed back to exercise, so it shouldn’t be too bad,” Yuta said. 

“Just don’t go running off to the gym everyday, please,” Ten begged, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I won’t, Tennie,” Yuta said, “I know my limits.”

“I know, but I still worry,” Ten said, “and Jaeminnie does too. He needs his Papa in full working order and so do I.”

“I’m not gonna hurt myself, Ten, I promise,” Yuta said, “I’m not even gonna go to the gym, I just need to get back to swimming.”

“We’ll get you to a pool,” Ten promised. He looked down at Jaemin. “Are you gonna be a water lover too? Probably, considering how much you already love baths, huh, cutie?” 

“Once he’s old enough, we should take him to a hot springs,” Yuta said, “I bet he would love it.”

“I’m sure he would. We’re gonna have to wait a while, but that’s okay, it’ll be worth it,” Ten said, “he should be awake soon. Maybe we could ask him.”

“Actually, I might send you two to go grocery shopping,” Yuta said, “I’m supposed to get a call from a potential employer in like fifteen minutes.”

“He can’t stay here? I don’t really want to bring him around a store just yet. He’s still really little,” Ten said nervously. 

“I don’t want him to wake up in the middle of the phone call,” Yuta explained, “I’m sure he’ll be fine at the store. You can cover him if you need to.”

Ten chewed on his lip. “Okay,” he agreed reluctantly. Jaemin still hadn’t woken up yet, but he knew the baby needed a diaper change before they went anywhere, so he stood up and headed into the bedroom. 

“Thanks, babe,” Yuta said, “I owe you one.”

“You’re on Jaemin duty when I get home,” Ten called down the hallway. He laid the baby on the changing table and wasn’t surprised when Jaemin blinked his eyes open and yawned widely. 

“That’s fine!” Yuta called back. As if on cue, his phone rang and he seamlessly switched into Japanese.

Ten got Jisung changed and picked up the baby. “What do you say to a little snack and then we’ll go on a shopping trip for Papa?” he asked. 

Yuta closed himself in the bedroom so he wouldn’t get in Ten’s way. The interview went pretty well in Yuta’s opinion, so he was hopeful he’d get the position.

Ten fed and burped Jaemin before packing up a couple of emergency supplies. He snagged the list from the fridge and headed out. Grocery shopping went about as well as it could have with a newborn. Ten only had to abandon his cart once to calm down Jaemin in the bathroom. Soon enough, he was back on his way home and ready to take a nice power nap.

Yuta was still on the phone when Ten and Jaemin got home. Fortunately, the call didn’t take much longer and he was able to go help Ten put away the groceries. “How did it go?” he asked. 

“One meltdown, a couple glares, but one woman commented on how cute he was so, all in all, not the worst,” Ten replied, “and we found everything, so that’s a win.”

“Hey, not too bad!” Yuta said with a smile, “I think I’m gonna get an offer from the guy I was talking to.”

Ten perked up. “Really? Oh, that’s awesome, babe!” he said happily. He walked over and kissed Yuta. 

“Yeah,” Yuta with a smile, “everything’s finally coming together.”

“All that’s left is us getting the house, my visa getting approved, and Jaeminnie being old enough to fly,” Ten said, “I just can’t wait.”

“What is it, four months?” Yuta asked, “I say we stay for Christmas and move for the New Year.”

“That would be perfect. I can already see the Instagram caption now: ‘new year, new house,” Ten said, waving his arm through the air for emphasis.

Yuta shook his head fondly. “Sure, Tennie,” he said, “whatever you want.”

“You’re the Instagram guru. I’m simply a model to be used at your disposal,” Ten said. 

Yuta rolled his eyes. Whatever Ten wanted, he would get. “And how about you?” he cooed, moving his attention to the baby sitting happily in his carrier on the table top, “did you enjoy your big trip to the store?”

“No, Papa, I did not,” Ten said, answering for Jaemin, “it was bright and loud and there were too many people. I wish I could have stayed here with you instead.”

Yuta frowned. “Well,” he said, lifting the boy out of his carrier, “unfortunately, life is like that.”

Ten pouted. “Geez, babe, have a little sympathy. Poor kid’s barely a month old. Cut him a little slack,” he said. 

“Did you not put the blanket over the carrier like I told you to?” Yuta asked. Taeyong and Kun had been taking Jisung out at three days old; he was pretty sure a month should be okay.

“I did after he got upset. I just don’t like leaving him covered like that. I get nervous,” Ten said quietly.

“Having the hood of the carrier pulled all the way up might help too,” Yuta suggested, “the bright lights are probably what’s most stressful for him.”

“We’ll try that next time,” Ten said, “but I don’t think we need another shopping trip for a while.”

“You guys got a lot,” Yuta agreed, “I’m surprised he held on long enough.”

“I spent a majority of the time we were out trying to calm him down, but I sure as hell was making this trip worth it. And I wasn’t exactly sure how long your call would take so I wanted to make sure we didn’t come home too early,” he said. 

“It was perfect timing,” Yuta said, “now come on. Let’s go cuddle with our baby.”

Ten put the last box of cereal in the cabinet and follow Yuta into the bedroom. He all but collapsed into bed and sighed happily. 

Yuta carefully sat on the bed and laid Jaemin on his tummy on Ten’s chest. “You know those cheesy newborn photo shoots?” He asked suddenly. 

Ten rested a hand on Jaemin’s back. “Yeah,” he replied, looking up at Yuta, “do you want to do one?”

“He’s not exactly a newborn anymore, but I think it could be nice,” Yuta said softly, “especially since none of our friends will be able to see him grow up.”

“Do you want them done professionally or do you want to try and do them ourselves?” Ten asked, being careful not to jostle Jaemin too much, “I can ask Kun who the photographer they used for their announcement pictures is and we can do baby pictures and engagement pictures at the same time.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Yuta said, “if nothing else, we can see if Johnny would be willing. He’s an amazing photographer.”

“That’s kinda an awkward position to put him in, don’t you think?” Ten asked, “I know he’d agree regardless, but still.”

Yuta sighed. “You’re right,” he mumbled. It was easy to forget what Johnny felt when he thought of him as a friend. 

“Sorry, babe, but that’s just not a favor we can ask him,” Ten said, “we can have him just babysit instead or even something else.”

“How is asking him to babysit any different?” Yuta asked, “it’s still gonna put him in a painful position, even if he offered.”

“We don’t have to have him babysit then. You forget that I have no problem with him staying away from us,” Ten said, “but there is a difference between asking him to shoot engagement photos and hanging out here for a few hours while Jaemin naps.”

Yuta sighed. “I think we should talk to him,” he said, “and I mean, where do we even stand regarding him?”

“What do you mean we should talk to him?” Ten asked, “as far as I’m concerned, he’s your friend and that’s about it.”

“We clearly need to set some sort of boundary,” Yuta said, “I don’t want him coming to hang out with us or with Jaemin if it’s just going to hurt him. And you know how I feel about him, Tennie.”

“I’ll have to talk to him. He can’t know I told you what we talked about. And honestly, I don’t know if he’ll admit out loud when he’s hurting. I think no matter what we do, it’s gonna hurt him,” Ten said, “and I know he’s been a lot of help to you and I don’t want you to lose that.”

“We can’t keep going in circles like this,” Yuta said, “that’s where jealousy and hatred comes from. I’d rather him get mad at you for a second for telling me and us be able to clear the air than to just let it fester over our relationship. And you and I both know I’ll never lose Johnny. He’s like a weed; he just keeps growing back.”

Ten scoffed. “No kidding he’s a weed,” he said, “alright, we’ll talk to him, but we have to lay out ground rules now. I know he wouldn’t overstep any boundaries and it’s not like we’ll even be here for that much longer.”

“How do you feel about Johnny?” Yuta asked softly, “like honestly, Ten. I know you don’t hate him as much as you claim to.”

“I did hate him for what he did to you, but after hearing what actually happened and learning that he actually gives a fuck about us, about me...it’s just a lot and I really don’t know. I don’t think I can be friends with him like you are, but it’s not fair to completely cut him out,” Ten said. 

“Did you love him before?” Yuta asked tentatively, “in college?”

Ten shook his head. “I was infatuated with him sure, but I wouldn’t call it love. He was hot, good in bed, and was the first person who actually gave me the time of day romantically since I moved here. It was nice to say the least, but looking back, it doesn’t even come close to what we have now.”

“What differed between us?” Yuta asked, “aside from him being a royal dick. Was there anything or was it just his attitude?”

“He was so quick to turn his back on both of us. And he lied to me like I didn’t even matter to him,” Ten said, “I know you actually give a shit about me and I don’t doubt it when you say you love me.”

“But you don’t doubt him anymore,” Yuta said, “you said you knew he was being sincere, full stop. What changed?”

“I think seeing how much he’s helped you these past few months. I don’t want to ruin this for you when it’s obvious how happy he makes you. And maybe it’s just me latching onto the fact that he’s not actually an asshole like I’ve always believed,” Ten said.

Yuta sighed heavily. It was weighing on him now that he was actively hurting one of his best friends, no matter what he did. If he could just have Johnny and Ten together, that would fix everything.

“I’m sorry, babe, I know everything is a lot right now. But we’ll meet with him. We’ll talk about what we wanna do moving forward and we’ll go from there,” Ten said, “and Jaemin and I are gonna be here for you no matter what happens.”

“I’m worried for him,” Yuta admitted, “his parents moved back to Chicago after he graduated high school and he has no reason to see Taeil and Sicheng without Chenle; he was never really friends with either of them. He’s gonna be all by himself once we move and Johnny doesn’t do well alone.”

“He’s got a whole school full of people. And he’s gonna look into doing counseling more. I know that’s not the same thing, but it’s better than nothing,” Ten said, “and there’s really nothing else we can do about. We can’t stay here just for him and he won’t go out with anyone else. The distance might even help him start looking for someone else.”

“There’s no one else he has an emotional connection to,” Yuta said sadly, “and he said that he’s had a really hard time opening up to new people since the incident. It’s not for lack of trying, Tennie.”

“What do you want to do for him then? He could move to the States to be closer to Kun and Taeyong. It would be closer to home for him and he’d have the boys,” Ten said.

“I don’t know, Ten, I just hate not being able to help,” Yuta said, a little agitated, “he’s done so much for me and there’s nothing I can do for him.”

“I’m really sorry, babe, but I don’t know what to tell you,” Ten said quietly. He glanced down at Jaemin who was still fast asleep. 

“I guess we’ll just have to wait until we talk to him,” Yuta said with a heavy sigh and a deep set frown. 

Ten sighed. “It’ll all work out, I promise,” he said. He hated seeing Yuta so upset about this, but there wasn’t anything else he could do. 

Yuta nodded with a sigh. He knew that, he did. “I love you,” he said softly. 

“I love you too,” Ten said, “I would come give you a kiss but I’m a little weighed down.”

Yuta smiled gently and scooted over to place a soft kiss on Ten’s cheek. “Better?” he asked. 

“Much,” Ten said happily, “you’re just lucky Jaeminnie’s asleep or he’d be widely jealous and probably throw a fit that he’s not getting his fair share of kisses too.”

“I’ll give him his fair share when he’s awake,” Yuta promised.

Ten smile softly. “Now I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted and would be very happy to take a nice nap right now,” he barely got through his sentence before yawning. 

Yuta smiled fondly. “Get some sleep, babe,” he said, “I’ll be here.”

Ten didn’t need to be told twice. He closed his eyes and kept his hand on Jaemin’s back so the baby wouldn’t accidentally slide off of his chest. It didn’t take long until he was fast asleep.  **  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao y'all are Not gonna like this one

To say Johnny was nervous was a bit of an understatement. When Yuta and Ten had asked him to meet them for dinner, his initial reaction was to panic. Ten had obviously told Yuta how Johnny felt, which was fine, really, but he would hate himself if this meant the end of their friendship. 

Ten wasn’t quite sure what he was more hesitant about: leaving Jaemin with Jungwoo and Yukhei for the night or going to meet Johnny to talk. Of course he trusted Jungwoo, and mostly trusted Yukhei, with the baby, but it was still hard to leave him home. 

Johnny was waiting outside the restaurant when Yuta and Ten arrived. He had already requested that they be seated in the most private area of the restaurant and was just waiting for them to arrive.

Ten had Yuta’s hand clasped tightly in his as they approached the restaurant. He was grateful that Johnny had requested a private table and waited until they were seated to speak. “I know this isn’t the most ideal place to meet, but we just wanted to clear the air and figure out what we’re going to do moving forward,” he said. 

“I figured as much,” Johnny said, not looking at the two and instead fidgeting by putting his napkin on his lap and moving his silverware around.

Ten sighed and glanced at Yuta. “We’re not mad. We’re not even upset. We just want to figure out what’s the best for everyone. I know we won’t be here for much longer, but I don’t see why it’s a problem for us to live these next few months as friends rather than awkwardly dancing around each other,” he said. 

“Just lay it on me,” Johnny said with a heavy sigh, “I can take it.”

“I don’t think you understand,” Ten said, “we were hoping that you would act more as a friend rather than a therapist. Jaemin obviously took a liking to you and there’s really no need for you not to be able to see him while we’re still around.”

“But I’m a threat to you and your relationship,” Johnny said listlessly, “it’s fine, Ten, I can handle it.”

“You said for yourself every time I approached you that you weren’t trying to get Yuta back. And if that’s true, then we shouldn’t have anything to worry about,” Ten said, “but I also know it might be better for  _ you _ for everything to stay as it is.”

“I mean, it doesn’t really matter,” Johnny said, “it’s gonna suck no matter what.”

Ten had to force himself not to roll his eyes. “Look, I’m trying my best to move past everything and let go of these last eight years of a somewhat unnecessary grudge. If you wanna continue to live life how it is right now, I have no problem with that. And you may say it doesn’t matter, but it might if it’s up to me making the decision,” Ten said. 

“No offense, Ten, but it literally doesn’t matter to me what you decide is best,” Johnny said tiredly, “I’ll feel like shit either way.”

Ten sat back. “So then there’s really no need to change what we’re doing now. You and Yuta can still talk and I’m sure we can run the baby over every now and again and then we’ll be out of here,” he said slowly, “unless you have a better idea of what might work.” He turned his attention to Yuta. 

Yuta bit his lip. Just as he was about to speak, their waiter came over to take their orders. Once he left, Yuta had lost the nerve he had built up.

Ten tilted his head. “I know going back to how things were isn’t what you want,” he said gently, “and I’m sure you have an idea that works better for all of us.”

Yuta shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t think it would work,” he mumbled. 

“Well, we won’t know for sure if it’ll work or not unless we know what it is,” Ten said. He snuck a look at Johnny. 

“We could just...all date,” Yuta suggested tentatively, waiting for Ten to get mad at him.

Ten froze. That wasn’t at all what he was expecting Yuta to say. He opened his mouth to shoot the idea down, but he knew he couldn’t be so rash with Johnny sitting right there. Now the wheels in his head were turning. If Yuta wanted them all to date, that meant he did want Johnny back, despite what he had claimed. 

“Forget I said anything,” Yuta said hurriedly, “it was dumb.” Johnny looked between the two of them. “I’m gonna go to the restroom,” he said slowly, getting up and leaving the table.

Ten waited a moment until Johnny was out of earshot. “So you do want him back,” he said quietly, “that’s fine, but I think this is something we need to talk about between the two of us before we go running into anything.”

“I don’t, I just...I don’t know, Ten, you know how I feel about him,” Yuta said, floundering a bit.

“Don’t lie anymore, please,” Ten begged, “where is this even coming from? Last time we suggested this, you were completely against it. What changed?”

“Last time we suggested this was eight years ago and I was incredibly jealous of you,” Yuta said, “I just...I feel like it would fix everything.”

“And what about when we move? Wouldn’t dating him for a couple of months and then leaving forever hurt even more?” Ten asked. 

“Moving doesn’t have to mean that we break up,” Yuta said, “look, it’s obvious that he adores you and he adores Jaemin and that you adore him, Ten. I think this could be good for us.”

“ _ I  _ adore him?” Ten asked, keeping his voice down, “where the fuck did that come from? I forgave him and I’m fine with him being friends with you and seeing Jaemin. I don’t understand how that translates to me adoring him.”

“You care a lot about him, even if you try to act like you don’t,” Yuta said, “you’ve been so worried about him this entire time.”

“I’m worried about you. And if he’s not in full working order, you won’t be either,” Ten defended. He knew Johnny would be back any minute and that they had to make a decision. “So if we all date, you’d be a lot happier, right? Everything would be a lot better for you, right?”

“I would be happy, but I’m already happy,” Yuta said, “this isn’t just up to me.”

“What about us being engaged?” Ten asked, “I still want to get married, but I don’t know how we would do that with Johnny in the mix.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s really just a formality, isn’t it?” Yuta said hesitantly, “we can’t actually get married, Ten, here or in Japan.”

Ten frowned. He had been planning on looking into some way to make this more official than a simple ring, but it looked like it didn’t matter anymore. “I guess you’re right,” he said quietly, “why don’t we see what Johnny wants and we’ll go from there?”

“Right, yeah,” Yuta said, “I just want him to be happy.”

“We’ll just have to see if he’s honest about how he feels about this idea. If he really does love us, then I guess this idea would make him the happiest,” Ten said. 

“Or the guiltiest,” Yuta said softly. He sat up straight as Johnny finally returned. 

Ten sighed and turned to address Johnny. “So I know if I ask, you’re gonna say we should do whatever is best for us, but that won’t work in this case. I just need you to be completely honest with me. Do you want to try this?” he asked. 

Johnny sighed as he sat back down. “I don’t know,” he said honestly, “in an ideal world, I would love to date you both, but you’re engaged  _ and _ leaving.”

Ten decided to save the “I told you so” look for later. “That was one of my worries too. Yuta suggested if this works, we could stay together after we move, but a long distance relationship is hard to maintain,” he said. 

“It wouldn’t be for me,” Johnny said automatically, “I mean, I managed to hold onto this through eight years of you two refusing to talk to me. A flight to Osaka is nothing.”

Ten paused. “So...you’re willing to try this?” he asked in a small voice. 

“I would be,” Johnny said, “if you’re both sure that this is what you want too and recognize what exactly being in a relationship like this involves.”

Ten looked between the two older men. He was outnumbered, but he knew it would make Yuta happy and that’s all that mattered. “Yeah, this is what we want,” he said, “and I’m sure we’ll work out the details soon enough.” Well, this certainly wasn’t how he expected tonight to go. 

Johnny felt himself relax. He could tell that Ten wasn’t entirely onboard with the idea, but he would latch on to any glimmer of hope that he could. 

Ten was glad for the distraction when their food arrived. He had nothing else to say and instead focused on eating and counting down the minutes until he was back home with Jaemin. 

The food was great and Johnny felt a lot less nervous by the time they were leaving the restaurant. The nervousness returned, however, when they had to part ways to go home. Before he could doubt himself, he swooped in and kissed both Yuta’s and Ten’s cheeks. He bid them good night and disappeared down the stairs to the subway.

Ten felt his cheeks heat up and he stared after Johnny until he disappeared. “Come on, let’s get home to Jaeminnie,” he said quietly, leading the way to their car. 

Yuta had to stop himself from holding his hand over his cheek like a lunatic. His skin felt like it was tingling where Johnny had touched it. Maybe this would work out after all.

Ten didn’t miss the look on Yuta’s face, but he didn’t say anything. He was happy to drive home in silence and all but rushed upstairs when they got home. He missed his baby so much. “We’re home,” he announced when he unlocked the apartment door and pushed it open. 

Jungwoo yawned and pushed himself off the couch with a grunt. Yukhei was asleep next to him with Jaemin on his chest, out cold. “How did it go?” he asked. 

“Oh, it went fine,” Ten said simply, “how was Jaemin? Was he good for you?” He glanced around Jungwoo and smiled softly at how tiny the baby looked curled up on Yukhei’s chest. 

“Oh, he was great,” Jungwoo said breezily, “a little grumpy when he realized you were gone, but he was a saint once we fed him.”

“That sounds like Jaemin,” Ten said with a small laugh, “thank you so much for watching him for us. We really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Jungwoo said, “we have to take advantage of the time we have left, right?”

Ten smiled sadly. “Yeah, definitely,” he said, “we’ll have you over again soon when we’re home. And you’re more than welcome anytime you want to come see him.”

“Thanks, Ten,” Jungwoo said with a smile. As if on cue, there was a soft cry from the living room and sound of Yukhei murmuring.

“Hey, it’s okay, little guy,” Yukhei said drowsily. He sat up carefully and repositioned Jaemin in his arms just as Ten walked into the room. “Look who’s home!” “Hi, boys,” Ten greeted. He walked over to the couch and lifted Jaemin out of Yukhei’s arms. 

“How much do we owe you for babysitting?” Yuta asked Jungwoo, reaching for his wallet. 

“Oh, hi, hyung,” Yukhei greeted blearily. He yawned and rubbed his eyes before pushing himself to stand up. “Hi, Yukhei. Thanks for watching Jaemin for us. I take it he was good?” he asked unnecessarily. Yukhei nodded immediately. 

“Oh my god, you don’t owe us anything,” Jungwoo said, “except maybe a bit of gossip.”

“He was great. And he’s absolutely adorable,” Yukhei gushed. Ten smiled softly. “That’s good to hear. Thank you,” he said. He bounced gently and hummed a song that had been on the radio on their way home to try and calm Jaemin down. 

Yuta rolled his eyes but agreed. Once Jungwoo and Yukhei has left, he flopped on the couch next to Ten with a groan. 

Ten wasted no time moving Jaemin into Yuta’s arms. “He missed you,” he said. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of the ring on Yuta’s finger. Things were really going to get a lot more complicated. 

Yuta easily accepted Jaemin into his arms. “Hi, kiddo,” he said, “did you have a good time with Yukhei and Jungwoo?”

Ten simply hummed. He tilted his head back to rest against the couch and closed his eyes. 

“Your daddy and I had a good night too,” Yuta continued conversationally, adjusting his grip on the baby so Jaemin could see Ten too.

Ten was glad his eyes were closed so he wouldn’t get caught rolling them. He wasn’t sure he would call it a good night, but he couldn’t tell Yuta that.

“We should have Johnny over on Saturday night for dinner,” Yuta said, “I want to officially sort out the rules of all this.”

Ten sighed. “Yeah that’s a good idea. I might end up at the studio in the morning for a few hours, but I’ll be home for dinner,” he said. 

“That’s fine,” Yuta said, “right, Jaeminnie? Tell daddy, say that’s fine!”

Ten crackled a small smile and opened his eyes. “You’re in a really good mood,” he commented quietly. He hadn’t seen Yuta interact with Jaemin like this ever. 

“I think I just have a lot of energy,” Yuta said, “that tiramisu definitely had real coffee in it.”

Ten chuckled. “Remind me to never let you have coffee late at night again,” he said, “right, Jaeminnie? No more coffee at night for Papa.”

Yuta rolled his eyes fondly. “It’s barely even all that late,” he said.

“No, but it is way past bedtime for a certain someone,” Ten said. He gave Jaemin a look but the baby was barely even paying attention to him.

“Is it bedtime, baby?” Yuta asked the infant, “actually, I think it’s time for daddy to give you a bath.”

“Oh, I’m on bath duty tonight? And when were you gonna tell me?” Ten asked, turning to Yuta. 

“I don’t know, now seems like a good time,” Yuta said with a cheeky smile.

“You know it’s gonna cost you right?” Ten asked. He lifted Jaemin from Yuta’s arms and was met with a whine of displeasure. 

“You’ll be paid in full after the job is done,” Yuta promised.

Ten smiled, satisfied with that. Even with the promise of payment, he took his time washing Jaemin, making sure the baby was all squeaky clean before taking him out of the bath. He laughed to himself at how Jaemin was half asleep and couldn’t care less about Ten putting lotion on him or getting him dressed. Ten brought Jaemin into the living room to get one more kiss from Yuta before putting him in the bassinet to sleep until he got hungry.

Yuta happily kissed Jaemin’s cheek and waited on the couch for Ten to return. He laid down lengthwise and turned on the television in the meantime.

“If I’m not mistaken, you owe me for dumping bath time on me tonight,” Ten said when he walked back into the living room. He stood in front of Yuta with his arms crossed, blocking the TV. 

“Well, I can’t pay you if you’re all the way over there,” Yuta said, “you gotta come lay down with me.”

Ten smirked and did as he was told. He laid down next to Yuta and wrapped himself around his fiancé. “Hi, babe,” he whispered. 

Yuta smiled and kissed Ten softly. “Hi,” he said, “are you happy?”

“Laying here with you, yes. With that as my payment, no,” Ten said, dodging the actual question. 

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about,” Yuta said quietly.

Ten sighed. “Yeah, I am. I haven’t seen you act that bubbly with Jaemin since he was born and you’re obviously feeling a lot better. And that’s really all I can ask for,” he said. It wasn’t entirely a lie. As long as Yuta was happy, he was happy. 

“Are you happy for yourself though?” Yuta asked softly.

“I don’t know,” Ten admittedly quietly, “I can’t really be selfish here, can I? Not when I can make everyone miserable simply because I can’t let go of a grudge.”

“But if you’re not happy, that’s not fair,” Yuta said softly.

“But you are. You’ve been so unhappy for months. I’m not just going to ruin that because I don’t want to share you. I can handle a few months and then when we move, everything’s gonna go basically back how it was,” Ten said. 

“I haven’t been unhappy because we haven’t been with Johnny, though,” Yuta said, “and I don’t want being with him to make you unhappy.”

“I know, I know, and I’m not mad. But this obviously is really good for the both of you and I don’t want to take that away. Maybe I won’t be as active in this as you two, but that’s okay. As long as I’m with you and I have Jaemin, I’m good,” Ten said. 

Yuta sighed. It still didn’t seem fair. Why couldn’t there just be an easy solution to all of this?

“Babe, please don’t beat yourself up about this. I think I’m so hesitant because we haven’t laid out any ground rules. After dinner on Saturday, I’m sure I’ll feel a lot better about everything,” Ten said. 

“I don’t want to sleep with him,” Yuta said firmly, “I don’t want sex to be a part of this yet, or maybe ever.”

That made Ten feel a lot better. “I don’t either,” he admitted quietly, “but you have to promise me you’ll tell me if he tries anything.”

“I will,” Yuta promised, “but I think you and I both know that he won’t. Johnny’s not like that.”

“No, he’s not,” Ten said quietly, “and I know it’s none of my business what you two do together when you’re alone, but maybe just keep me somewhat in the loop? I’ll never control what you do, but…I don’t know. I just feel weird about you being alone with him now.”

“Of course,” Yuta said immediately, “I would never hide something like that from you. I really, truly, don’t want to return to that place with him yet.”

Ten smiled and leaned forward to kiss Yuta softly. “I trust you, I promise I do. It’s just gonna take a while for me to get used to everything,” he said. 

“Thankfully, we have time,” Yuta said, “and I think it would be good for you two to try and do some things on your own too.”

Ten chewed on his lip. “I don’t know, Yu,” he said, “we’ll see how Saturday goes and we’ll take it from there.”

“Why don’t we lay out ground rules between the two of us?” Yuta suggested, “so we don’t catch each other off guard.”

Ten nodded. “I want to keep things simple for right now. Maybe just stuff with the three of us for now. Just to hang out and get the awkwardness out of the way before we move into anything serious?” he asked carefully. 

“That makes sense,” Yuta said with a nod, “how are you feeling about PDA?” He and Ten both knew that Johnny was very affectionate.

Ten sighed. “For me, nothing yet. The kiss on the cheek earlier was fine, but I’m not gonna drop into his lap on Saturday night. But I know you feel differently about this than I do and that’s fine if you two are more affectionate with each other,” he said. 

“I don’t know,” Yuta admitted, “I think it needs to happen naturally, otherwise we’re just forcing it.”

Ten nodded. “This shouldn’t be awkward, especially if this is supposed to be a long term option,” he said. 

“It’s going to be at first, just by default, but I think we’ll settle into it soon enough,” Yuta said, “I just hope it’s a bit more evenly dispersed than last time.”

“Me too,” Ten said, even though he knew it wouldn’t be. “Hey, Yu, you’re not...you’re gonna keep your ring on, right?” he asked in a small voice.

“Yes,” Yuta said, “always. I have, however, been thinking about moving it to a necklace for a couple weeks now because my hands are still pretty swollen and it’s too tight. When my hands finally shrink a bit, I’ll put it back on, but it’s just so tight, Tennie.”

Ten sagged in relief. “Oh no, I wish you told me sooner. I would have gotten you a chain for it too. I’ll go first thing in the morning tomorrow. You can take it off for tonight if you want. I don’t want to see you hurt,” he said quickly. 

“I mean, it’s not unbearable,” Yuta said, “it’s just uncomfortable.”

Ten pouted. “I’m so sorry, babe,” he said, “I promise I’ll get a nice chain for it tomorrow and we’ll make you a necklace.”

“Thanks, baby,” Yuta said, kissing Ten’s cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ten said, “and don’t think I forgot about my payment. I’ll wait all week if I have to.”

Yuta rolled his eyes fondly but kissed Ten deeply. He would never be able to kiss his fiancé enough. 

Ten hummed into the kiss. He didn’t take the lead per say, but he definitely wasn’t letting Yuta run the show. He all but melted into the kiss and reveled in every second of it. 

Yuta kissed Ten more insistently. He still wasn’t allowed to do anything, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to get Ten on top of him.

Ten moaned quietly. It wasn’t very comfortable with both of them on their sides and he knew Yuta had some form of an ulterior motive. In one swift movement, he had pushed Yuta onto his back and positioned himself above his fiancé. 

Well, that was easy. Yuta looped his arms around Ten’s neck, pulling his fiancé down closer.

“Hi there, babe,” Ten murmured in between kisses. Yuta hadn’t been willing to do anything like this in a long time and Ten was going to take full advantage of it.

“Hi,” Yuta whispered back, “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you so much too,” Ten breathed. He peppered kisses all over Yuta’s face and down his jaw.

Yuta sighed happily. He had missed doing this with his fiancé. His and Ten’s sex life used to be so active, but they hadn’t done anything since they’d found out he was pregnant.

Ten’s soft kisses soon turned into little nips. He worked his way across Yuta’s jaw and down his neck. 

“Don’t leave any marks,” Yuta said, “I have a Skype interview with that guy again tomorrow.”

Ten pouted. “Fine, I won’t. Not today anyway,” he said. He nipped up Yuta’s throat so he could kiss his fiancé properly again.

“I love you,” Yuta breathed out between kisses, “I love you so much, Tennie.”

Ten smiled into the kiss. He responded by kissing Yuta more forcefully. Everything felt so perfect and the fact that Johnny was now part of the mix completely slipped his mind. 

“Ten, Tennie,” Yuta gasped, “we gotta stop.” As if on cue, the baby started crying in the other room.”

Ten pulled away with a pout. “Sounds like it’s your turn,” he teased. 

Yuta got up after one last kiss and padded down the hall to rescue Jaemin. Just from walking into the room, he could tell that the baby majorly needed a diaper change, and probably another bath.

Ten followed Yuta into the bedroom so he could get changed. He wrinkled his nose when he walked in. “Oh yeah, it’s definitely your turn,” he said. 

“Come on, stinky boy, let’s get you fixed up,” Yuta said as he lifted the sobbing baby out of the bassinet and carried him toward the nursery. “Tennie, can you grab the baby tub and meet me in the bathroom?” he called, “and maybe change his sheets? I can see it on the back of his pajamas.”

Ten shivered, but did as he was told. He took the dirty sheets off and put them in the hamper. They definitely needed to wash these tonight. The clean sheets could wait so Ten snagged the baby bath and headed into the bathroom.

Yuta only stopped at the nursery to grab clean clothes, a clean diaper, and the baby soap before meeting Ten in the bathroom. He didn’t know how Jaemin had managed to get himself so messy, but he was not enjoying it.

“Oh, Jaeminnie, we’ll get you all cleaned up soon I promise,” Ten cooed. He took the baby’s dirty onesie from Yuta and held it at arm’s length as he left the bathroom. After grabbing the hamper, he ran downstairs to start a load of laundry. 

Yuta bathed the baby carefully, but it didn’t stop Jaemin from screaming his head off. Pretty soon, Yuta had him clean and newly diapered and dressed. The baby’s cries abated a bit, but not much. “You hungry, bubba?” Yuta asked as he carried Jaemin out of the bathroom and down the hall.

Ten frowned when he opened the door and Jaemin was still crying loudly. “What’s going on, baby? Do you still not feel better?” he asked quietly when he walked into the kitchen. 

“I don’t know,” Yuta said, “I don’t want to waste the formula if he isn’t hungry but I really can’t tell if he is or not.”

“He hasn’t eaten in a while, I wouldn’t doubt it. Come here, Jaemin,” he said, lifting the baby from Yuta’s arms, “are you hungry or are you still upset you had to have a second bath?”

Yuta let Ten take the baby, angry at himself that he couldn’t figure out how to calm his own son down. Jaemin’s crying seemed to cease the second that Ten held him.

“What’s going on, cutie?” Ten asked, bouncing Jaemin gently, “you want Papa to make you a bottle? Or do you just want to snuggle?”

Jaemin whimpered and snuggled closer to Ten’s chest. Yuta frowned at the teary-eyed baby, trying not to feel jealous.

“I think he’s just a little overwhelmed,” Ten said, “he woke up and was obviously not comfortable at all and needed a bath when he wasn’t fully awake. It’s okay, Jaemin, it’s all over and we’re gonna go back to bed.”

Great. More things to make Yuta seem like bad cop. Just what he needed. “Let’s go to bed then,” he mumbled.

“Poor kiddo,” Ten murmured, “do you think you can take him until he falls back asleep? I need to put new sheets in the crib and switch the laundry.”

Yuta lifted the baby out of Ten’s arms and cradled him gently. “Let’s go back to bed, hm, Jaeminnie?” he said softly. He carried the baby back to the bedroom. Instead of putting him back in the bassinet, he laid him on the bed while he pulled off his tee shirt, then laid down with the baby curled on his bare chest.

Ten smiled softly. When the bassinet was made with new sheets, Ten ran downstairs to switch the laundry. He got changed and collapsed next to Yuta. Jaemin was well on his way to falling asleep again and he looked content to stay where he was. 

Yuta was glad that Jaemin hadn’t started wailing again, although he was still a little whimpery. He rested a hand lightly on the baby’s back, rubbing in small circles in hopes of lulling him back to sleep.

“All calm,” Ten whispered, “he’ll definitely want a bottle next time he wakes up, but I don’t know when that will be.”

“Hopefully not for a couple of hours,” Yuta said through a yawn, “we need as much as we can get after tonight.”

“Go to sleep, babe. I gotta stay up to get the laundry and I’ll put him to bed when he falls asleep,” Ten said. 

“No, it’s fine, I can stay up with him,” Yuta said. He needed to prove to himself that he could be a good dad.

“Babe, I know you’re exhausted. You gave him a bath and got him all cleaned up and now it’s my turn to take care of him,” Ten said gently. 

“It’s been your turn for the last six weeks,” Yuta said, “I’ve got him, Ten, we’re fine.”

“Alright,” Ten agreed. He was too tired to argue anymore. He stayed awake until the laundry was done and went downstairs one last time to get it. Not bothering to fold the laundry tonight, Ten climbed back into bed to cuddle with Yuta and Jaemin. 

Yuta held Jaemin until he was fully asleep, then got up and gently laid him back in the bassinet. “He really is perfect, isn’t he?”

Ten smiled softly. “Yeah, he is. Explosive diapers and all,” he said fondly. In all seriousness, Ten wouldn’t give any of this up for the world. 

Yuta climbed back into bed and laid with his head on Ten’s shoulder. “Love you,” he mumbled. 

Ten wrapped an arm around Yuta. “I love you so much you have no idea. And not a single thing on this planet is ever gonna change that,” he said. 

“Thank you for not letting me give up on him,” Yuta mumbled softly, not looking at Ten. 

Ten tilted his head so he could kiss the top of Yuta’s head. “My job is to protect my family. And I didn’t do a good job of that in the beginning, but I’m gonna get better. I’m gonna make sure we’re all happy and healthy no matter what it takes,” he said.

“You’re already doing that,” Yuta said softly, “thank you so much, Tennie.”

Ten kissed Yuta again before settling down to get a few hours of sleep. The rest of the week drifted away and soon Ten was rolling out of bed on Saturday morning. He kissed both of his boys goodbye before heading off to the studio to teach a couple of classes. 

Yuta spent the day with Jaemin and Jungwoo. They gossiped a bit about their boyfriends and Yuta revealed to the younger man what they were doing with Johnny, expressly forbidding him from telling anyone. Jungwoo left in the late afternoon and Yuta set the baby up in a rocker before he started cooking. 

Ten got home much later than he anticipated, but he still wasn’t late. He greeted Yuta and Jaemin each with a kiss on the cheek before running into the bathroom to take a quick shower. 

Yuta was nearly finished cooking when Ten arrived. Johnny wasn’t far behind, arriving just as Ten got out of the shower. 

Ten had hoped he was gonna get a little alone time with Yuta before Johnny showed up, but it looked like that wasn’t the case. That didn’t stop him from wrapping around his fiancé’s back after greeting Johnny. 

Yuta sighed as Ten wrapped around him. “I can’t set the table with you hanging off me like this,” he said gently.

“Good thing we have an extra pair of hands now,” Ten mumbled. He made no effort to move or let go of Yuta.

Yuta rolled his eyes and shrugged Ten off of him, picking up a hot dish with both hands and turning around while he waited for his fiancé to move.

Ten pouted and hung his head in defeat. He moved out of the way and distracted himself by filling up a glass of water. 

Yuta finished moving all of the dishes to the table before finally being able to greet Johnny properly. They all sat down to eat together before they even attempted to broach the topic of rules.

Ten could feel the tension in the air and he hated it. He would rather be doing literally anything else, including dealing with a dirty diaper. 

“How’s your research going?” Yuta asked Johnny conversationally. The older man launched into an explanation of what he was working on now that his actual dissertation was submitted and presented.

Ten was completely lost. He made a valiant effort to keep up, but it didn’t help so he turned his attention to Jaemin instead. The baby was just waking up from his nap. 

Yuta didn’t understand much of what Johnny was talking about, but it made him happy to see the older man so passionate and engaged. He had never seen him like that about anything in college.

Eventually, Ten stood up to pick up Jaemin. He was done eating so he didn’t mind holding the baby while Johnny talked about his work. 

“But enough about that boring stuff,” Johnny said finally, “how are things going at the studio, Ten?”

“Oh, it’s good,” Ten said, a little caught off guard, “my boss is already passing some of my classes onto new people, but there’s still a couple I won’t let go.”

Johnny nodded. “That’s good,” he said, “something to get you out of the house so you don’t go stir crazy.”

“Yeah,” Ten said wistfully, “the little guy keeps me busy when I’m here but it’s not the same. Huh, Jaeminnie. You keep us busy, don’t ya?” 

“Have you found a place in Japan yet?” Johnny asked. 

Ten shook his head. “No, not yet. I’ve been focusing on studying first but I’m not really getting anywhere,” he said. 

“I’m sure Yuta and I could both help you study,” Johnny said, “maybe you’ll learn a bit faster with two people helping.”

Ten was about to refuse when he realized he shouldn’t. “That would be great. Thanks,” he said instead, “sometimes it’s actually a little bit easier to learn from English anyway.”

“English or Korean, whichever’s easier,” Johnny said, “I learned from English, but it’s also my first language.”

“Yeah and I’m still better at English than you,” Ten teased, “but thank you. I’m gonna need all the help I can get.”

“Wait, I’m confused,” Yuta interjected, “since when do you know Japanese?” “I did my master’s thesis on work culture in Japanese men,” Johnny explained.

Ten tilted his head slightly. “And how long did it take you to learn?” he asked. 

“Six months, give or take,” Johnny said, “I was basically talking it and hearing it constantly until it became natural.”

Ten chuckled wryly. “I don’t exactly have six months,” he said.

“No, but three is enough time to make a good head start, and it’ll only get easier when you’re actually there,” Johnny said.

“I just need to be able to get myself a job,” Ten said, “we’ll worry about being fluent later.” 

“We’ll work on it,” Yuta said, laying a hand over Ten’s. He got up and started clearing away the dishes.

“We gotta start teaching you too, huh, kiddo?” Ten said. He glanced down at Jaemin and smiled. 

“I’m honestly kind of interested to see what language he ends up picking up first,” Yuta said, “hopefully it’s something coherent.”

“It’ll probably be Japanese with a little Korean sprinkled in there,” Ten said, “you’re gonna be multilingual just like Papa and Daddy arent you, Jaeminnie?”

“I’m sure we can get him to be even more multilingual than we are,” Yuta said, “we’ve got four languages to start with.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna teach him any Thai,” Ten said with a shake of his head, “there’s really no point.”

“Well, I’m sure Tern and her family will come and visit at some point,” Yuta said, “and I know they speak English, but it would be good for him to have that connection to you.”

“We’ll see what happens when he gets a little older,” Ten said. It definitely would be nice, but he wasn’t going to force another language on the poor kid already. 

Yuta finished clearing the table and sat back down. “Alright,” he said, “time for the serious talk.”

Ten sighed. Here went nothing. “The only thing I really want is not to take things too fast. It’d be best to let everything happen naturally and just see how it goes,” he said. 

“I agree,” Johnny said, “you both know that I’m naturally an affectionate person, but just let me know if I’m being too much and I’ll tone it down.”

Ten nodded. “I can’t speak for Yuta, but I’m not ready for...anything really at this point. I think I still need some time to get used to the idea,” he said quietly. 

“And that’s fine,” Johnny said, “everything happens on your terms between the two of us.” “Sex is completely off the table for now,” Yuta said firmly, “between any two parties.”

Ten relaxed a little before what Yuta said registered. Even they couldn’t have sex because Johnny was in the picture now? That wasn’t fair at all, but he’d have to talk to Yuta later. 

“Sex has been off the table for Ten and I anyway since I got pregnant,” Yuta said, “but I want things to be fair between all of us and I’m not exactly ready to jump back into it yet anyway.”

Ten relaxed again. He would never force Yuta to do anything he didn’t want to. It still rubbed him the wrong was that he wanted everything to be fair across the board, especially considering their relationship was so much stronger. 

“To be clear though, Ten and I aren’t ending or suspending our engagement,” Yuta said, taking his fiancé’s hand, “I’m not taking my ring off except when it’s physically too tight. That...level is still going to exist between us and it’s not negotiable.”

Ten smiled softly and squeezed Yuta’s hand. He snuck a glance at Johnny, not sure how the older man would react to that. 

“I don’t expect you to, nor do I want you to,” Johnny said, “it just gives me something to work toward.”

Ten dropped his eyes back to Jaemin. Something to work toward? He didn’t like the sound of that at all, but they only had a few more months here anyway. “Did you have any other conditions you wanted to lay out?” he asked. 

“Dates,” Johnny said, “I want us to make an effort to go on dates as a group and as all three pairs.”

Ten sighed quietly. “Yeah, we can do that,” he agreed, “it might not be perfectly even with our schedules, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

“I also just want to make sure that we keep an open line of communication,” Johnny said, “I get that I’m intruding at an inconvenient point and I don’t mind if there are things that you exclude me from. I just want to know what’s going on.”

“I think there are some things that can be kept between each…pair but we’ll definitely be open and share what’s going on,” Ten said, “speaking of sharing, do you want to hold Jaemin?”

Johnny nodded and carefully lifted the baby out of Ten’s grip. “Speaking of Jaemin,” he said, cradling the infant, “obviously I’m not going to claim any sort of parental involvement, that would be wildly out of line, but I don’t mind watching him for you guys if you go on a date or you just need a break, here or at my apartment.”

Ten nodded. “We’ll definitely need a break. Thank you. It’s easier to keep him here ‘cause his stuff is here and I don’t like bringing him out a lot yet. And he’s obviously taken a liking to you so that makes everything easier. If anything you’ll have to convince Jungwoo and Yukhei to give up babysitting time,” he said. 

“One last request,” Johnny said, a little nervous about this one. “My graduation ceremony for my doctorate is in December. I’d really like it if you both would come.”

This was by far the easiest request Johnny had made thus far. “Oh, we can definitely all make it,” Ten said, “we’ll be here until after Christmas anyway.”

“With Tae and Kun being in Los Angeles and my parents in Chicago, I just don’t have anyone else,” Johnny rambled. 

“Johnny, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything,” Ten said, “we’ll all be there. I promise.” He did feel bad that Johnny didn’t have anyone else other than them here. 

Johnny finally seemed to realize that Ten was agreeing with him and beamed widely. “Thanks,” he said, “it means a lot.”

Johnny’s smile was contagious and Ten couldn’t help himself from smiling too. He didn’t think something so simple would make the older man so happy.

“Thank you,” Johnny said softer, focusing on Ten, “I know all this probably isn’t exactly what you were thinking would happen and I’m really happy that you’re even trying.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Ten said, rubbing the back of his neck, “going to your graduation is the least we could do. We probably would have come anyway.” He didn’t want to brush it off, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal to go support Johnny.

Johnny smiled sadly. He knew that Ten and Yuta likely wouldn’t have even known he was graduating if he hadn’t told them.

Ten didn’t like the way Johnny’s face seemed to fall slightly. He quickly switched his focus to the first thing he could think of: Jaemin. “He really does adore you, ya know,” he said. 

“Well, that’s good, ‘cause I adore him too,” Johnny said with a smile, looking down at the baby. 

Ten rubbed his thumb along the back of Yuta’s hand. “He may even like you more than me at this point,” he joked.

“No, no,” Johnny said hurriedly, “you’re his dad, of course he likes you more.”

Ten chuckled. “Too bad we can’t ask him yet,” he said. He could almost forget about the whole arrangement when he was talking about his son.

“You like Daddy more than Uncle J, right, Jaeminnie?” Johnny asked rhetorically. Yuta frowned. He didn’t like Johnny calling himself that. 

Ten caught Yuta’s frown out of the corner of his eye. He squeezed his fiancé’s hand gently. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do when he starts talking. I’m not even ready for him to start crawling yet,” he said. 

“They grow up fast,” Johnny said with a sigh, “just look at Jisung.”

“I know. He got so big so fast. I don’t know where the time went. He’s gonna be tearing around the house with Chenle in no time,” Ten said. 

“I’m sure he’s already doing his best,” Johnny said with a chuckle, “he’s always been a mover.”

“I really wish the boys were able to grow up together,” Ten admitted. He missed Kun and his family a lot. At least they had facetime so the boys could still get to know each other. 

“Apparently, they’re already fast friends with the realtor’s kids,” Johnny said, “I feel bad for Jeno, honestly. He’s so shy and now he has to start the friend game all over.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Ten said with a sad smile, “I know. Hopefully he makes some friends in school. I wish we could help, but Jaemin is way too small.”

“I think Taeil and Sicheng were planning on sending him to an international school, so hopefully that will help,” Johnny said. 

Ten smiled softly. “That’s a good idea. He’ll make a ton of new friends,” he said, “although I may be a little bit biased.” He had gone to an international school as a child.

“Maybe we should try to do that with Jaemin,” Yuta said, “I know they have at least one in Osaka.”

“You know I’ll never say no,” Ten said, “whatever’s best for him is perfect for me.”

Johnny was starting to feel like he had overstayed his welcome. “Is there anything else we need to talk about?” he asked. 

“I don’t think so,” Ten said, “as long as we’re all on the same page and we don’t rush into anything, I think everything will be fine.”

“Great,” Johnny said, “I’m gonna head home then. Thank you for dinner, Yukkuri, everything was great.”

“Oh, okay,” Ten said, “we’ll talk to you soon then.” He stood up to take Jaemin back from Johnny.

Johnny carefully handed the baby off to Ten and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair. 

Jaemin woke up when he was jostled around. He whimpered quietly in protest. “I know, baby, but you can go right back down after you eat,” he said. He turned his full attention to Jaemin, trying to avoid a meltdown. Yuta could walk Johnny out.

Johnny sighed as he watched Ten’s focus immediately shift away from him. This was going to take a lot of effort, and he had some doubts. “Ten, are you going to say goodbye?” Yuta prompted. 

Ten turned back around. But he had already said goodbye? “Oh, um, good night, Johnny. Maybe we can plan something with all three of us next week?” he offered tentatively. Hopefully that made everyone happy.

“Yeah, we can try for something,” Johnny agreed with a smile. He took his leave then, trying to focus on the positives. 

Ten waited for Johnny to leave before going back to making a Jaemin a bottle. The baby was getting more and more whiny as he woke up.

“I think that went pretty well,” Yuta said conversationally, joining Ten in the kitchen. He took Jaemin so Ten could use both hands to make the bottle. 

“I think so too,” Ten agreed with a nod, “he seemed fine with everything we laid out so I doubt he’d cross any lines.” 

“He’s probably gonna be more cautious about this than we are,” Yuta said, “he’s changed a lot. He’s a lot more openly anxious about things than he used to be.”

“He has more to lose than we do so I’m not surprised that he’s more careful,” Ten said, “I’m honestly a little surprised he’s as open with both of us.”

“I keep telling you that he wants you just as much as he wants me,” Yuta said, “and I’m sure he’s thinking that between the two of you, he’s the one that will have to put in the effort.”

“I know, I know, but I’m not on the same page as him. He doesn’t have to put in an extra effort for me to fix that either. We’re not gonna be able to go on an even amount of dates as each pair too, which is completely fine. There’s gonna be a lot to work out, but we’ll figure out a rhythm that works for everyone,” Ten said. 

“Just don’t let it fall by the wayside, alright?” Yuta said gently. In his arms, Jaemin let out a tiny, hungry cry and Yuta kissed the top of his head. “It’s almost ready, baby, don’t worry.”

“I won’t,” Ten promised. The bottle was done in a few minutes and he took it out of the warmer and handed it to Yuta. 

Jaemin sucked down the formula greedily and was done in no time. Grabbing a dish towel, Yuta tossed it over his shoulder so he could burp the baby without getting himself dirty. 

“Geez, kid, you act like we don’t feed you,” Ten teased. His hand came up to comb through the baby’s wispy hair. 

“He’s a growing boy,” Yuta said, “he needs all the food he can get, huh, lil man?”

“He’s gonna eat us out of house and home,” Ten joked. He turned back to the counter to clean everything up. 

Jaemin finally burped and Yuta grimaced when he felt the warmth of the spit up through the cloth. He handed the baby off to Ten and hurried to rinse the towel and toss it in the laundry before it soaked through to his shirt. 

“Jaemin one, Yuta zero,” Ten announced. He held the baby carefully, not wanting to jostle him around too much.

“Jaemin one, towel zero, Yuta left unharmed,” the older man countered as he came back into the kitchen. 

Ten chuckled. “Don’t jinx yourself, babe, there’s still a lot of hours left in the day,” he said. 

“Mhm, and you’re on the next feeding duty, darling,” Yuta said, swooping in and kissing Ten’s cheek sloppily. 

Ten faked a disgusted look and wiped his cheek with the back of his hand dramatically. “Can’t believe I have both of you drooling on me now,” he said. 

“Oh, I’ve always drooled over you,” Yuta joked, “you should be used to it by now.”

“I should be and yet somehow I’m not,” Ten said, “and I’m also gonna ignore the fact that that’s probably the weirdest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Yuta rolled his eyes. “You’re no fun anymore,” he complained, taking the baby from his fiancé. “Right, Jaeminnie? Daddy got old and doesn’t know how to have fun anymore.”

Ten’s mouth dropped open. “ _ I’m  _ not fun anymore?” he asked incredulously, “also  _ I’m  _ old? Wow, babe, I’m really feeling the love tonight.”

“I love you,” Yuta singsonged as he waltzed away into the living room with the baby.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've finally reached the end, folks! This chapter is longer than the rest, as a conclusion deserves to be. Thank you so much for hanging on with us for this wild ride and please keep an eye out for the epilogue on Monday.

The next few months were...interesting, to say the least. Johnny and Yuta were getting along much better and Ten wasn’t that upset in the least. Johnny was around a lot more and even though their relationship became a lot less awkward, they eventually hit a wall. Ten put in just enough effort that was needed and focused the rest of his energy on Jaemin. Before they knew it, they were on their way to Johnny’s graduation and their moving date was just around the corner. 

Three months ago, Johnny had been so excited that Ten and Yuta were going to be at his graduation, but now it felt just like another obligation they were carrying out. The first few weeks of this arrangement had been amazing, but he’d since let his insecurities and anxieties get the best of him. Now, it felt like a lot of work on his part for very little reward from his boyfriends, if he could even really call them that. With a sigh, he fixed his cap and followed the line of doctoral students out into the arena.

Luckily, Jaemin was well behaved for the entirety of the ceremony. When Johnny’s name was called, Ten let out a small whoop that he hoped the older man heard. Sure, it wasn’t the most professional thing he could have done, but he was going to make the most of coming to the event. 

Johnny felt a little sad that he was done with official academia for the time being. After the ceremony had concluded, he waited in the lobby for Ten and Yuta to find him. 

Ten was carrying Jaemin and smiled when they finally found Johnny. “Congrats, grad,” he said, “I’m glad it’s finally my turn to say it.”

“Thanks,” Johnny said with a soft smile. The smile widened when Yuta hugged him tightly. “I’m really glad you guys were able to come.”

“We’re happy to be here,” Ten said honestly, “there’s no way you could celebrate alone. And speaking of celebrating, there may or may not be a bottle of champagne at our apartment waiting for you.”

“Well then, I say we head back in that direction,” Johnny said. He honestly kind of wanted to go home and just go to bed, but he had invited Ten and Yuta so he had to be a good host and follow through. 

“Perfect,” Ten said. They all made their ways to their cars and soon enough were all sitting around the living room with Jaemin asleep in his swing. 

Johnny sipped slowly at his champagne, trying to consume it slowly enough that he was still sober enough to drive without waiting. “So how’s it feel to be done?” Yuta asked. “Honestly? Not as great as I thought it would,” Johnny replied.

Ten furrowed his eyebrows. “Really? Why? What happened?” he asked nosily, “you were so stressed with all the work you had to do, I thought you’d be relieved to be done.”

“Well, yeah, but what am I supposed to do with my life now?” Johnny asked, “I can’t treat with this degree, I’m not likely to ever get adequate funding for research ever again, and teaching is fun but it’s not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life.”

“You said you wanted to treat so can’t you work on getting that degree?” Ten asked hesitantly. He wasn’t really keen on making Johnny upset today so he had to be careful.

“Yeah, but I’m going to miss it in the meantime,” Johnny said with a shrug.

Ten just hummed. This obviously wasn’t going anywhere so he dropped it. He finished the champagne in his glass and set it down on the coffee table. 

“Thank you guys for coming though,” Johnny said, “it really does mean a lot.”

Ten smiled softly. “We’re happy to have been able to come,” he said honestly, “we’ll have to take you out to a nice dinner to celebrate. Or at least something a little fancier than this.”

“No, this is honestly more than enough,” Johnny said with a small smile, “really, I don’t need anything else.”

Ten glanced at Yuta. “This isn’t nearly enough to celebrate getting your doctorate though,” he said, “we don’t have to if you don’t want to, but you deserve a little more than a night in our living room.”

“A night in your living room is all that I want though,” Johnny said, “you guys are all I need.”

Ten pulled a face. “You’re such a sap,” he teased, “you’re almost worse than I am. Actually, you might have me beat at this point.”

“Right, because I’m a sap toward you both,” Johnny muttered, “look, I don’t feel all that great, I think I’m gonna just head home, alright?” He got up and took his leave before anyone could really protest.

Ten sighed. He stood up to clean up the glasses and bottle and lock the door behind Johnny. “I don’t think he’s happy with this anymore,” he said, “you might need to talk to him and see what he wants to do.”

“No, Ten, I think he’s plenty happy with this,” Yuta said, annoyed, “I think it’s you that’s bothering him.”

“Well then he should come talk to me and tell me what’s wrong. I’m not playing the guessing game. I’ll work out whatever conditions he wants if things need to change, but I’ve been upholding my end of the bargain,” Ten said.

Yuta had to laugh. “You know Johnny’s too nice to ask you to do something he thinks you don’t want to do,” he said, “it doesn’t matter if you’re physically doing what you said you would when he can tell that you’d rather be doing anything else.”

“Outstanding observation skills on his part,” Ten said with a roll of his eyes, “we’re only gonna be here for what? Another month at the most? I think we can handle it and then everything will finally be back to normal.”

“This isn’t ending when we move,” Yuta said, “at least, that wasn’t what we agreed upon. And even if it was, Johnny is my best friend and I’d rather you didn’t hurt him like this.”

“I know it’s not ending, but it’s going to be so much better. Honestly, I think long distance is gonna be good for everyone. And I’m not  _ trying _ to hurt him. I’m just not going to lie and lead him on just to make him happy,” Ten said. 

“I  _ cannot  _ believe you,” Yuta said, standing and lifting Jaemin out of his swing, “you can sleep on the couch until you grow some emotions. Prick.” He disappeared into the bedroom, very narrowly keeping himself from slamming the door.

“Are you serious right now?” Ten asked, following Yuta down the hallway, “what do you want? Me to pretend everything’s fine and dandy when it’s not? I don’t love him like you do, Yuta, and I never will. I’m doing the best I can right now and I don’t know what to tell you.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to fuck with his emotions and lead him on like this,” Yuta said, “he’s not a fucking toy and I don’t want you around me until you can get your shit together and actually make an effort.”

“And if I don’t want to make an effort?” Ten asked. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to hear the answer to his question.

“I love you and I love Johnny and I don’t want to lose either of you because of the other,” Yuta said, “right now, you’re the one in the wrong, so you can use your time sleeping on the couch to come up with a solution. Good night, Chittaphon.” He got into bed and shut the light off.

Ten backed away from the door, anger bubbling in his chest. He had made sure Yuta knew to never used his real name in any situation no matter how angry he got. And the older man had broken that years old promise because of Johnny. “You may lose me all on your own,” he all but shouted through the door. He was absolutely seething and he knew he couldn’t be here or he’d explode worse. Making sure to slam the door on his way out so that Yuta knew he was gone, he headed down to his car, grateful his bag was still on the backseat.

The baby woke up wailing when the door slammed and Yuta hurried to hold him close and quiet him, tears brimming in his own eyes. Ten was being so irrational and stubborn. Why couldn’t he see that?

Ten didn’t know where he was going, but he didn’t care. He was still seeing red and was barely even focusing on the road in front of him. Usually he would drive to Kun’s apartment, but considering that wasn’t an option anymore, he just drove circles around the city.

Yuta went to bed angry and woke up angry and spent the next three days angry. How dare Ten act so blasé toward his best friend? Granted, he did feel bad about using his birth name against him, something he had promised never to do, but Ten just made him so mad. He went on one date with Johnny in the meantime and he must have done a horrible job of hiding what had happened because the older man announced in their group chat two days later that he would be leaving to spend the holidays in Los Angeles and that he hoped they would reconcile soon.

Ten was actually glad that Johnny wouldn’t be around for Christmas. Not that he was expecting to do much with Yuta anyway. He barely spent any time at home, coming home after Yuta had gone to bed, and leaving before he woke up. Jaemin was waking up less at night so it was easy enough to avoid Yuta and if the older man noticed him on the couch, he never bothered to say anything.

Yuta knew he needed to apologize. He had been way out of line during their argument. The night after Johnny left, he stayed up on the couch long after Jaemin had been put to bed, waiting for Ten. The younger man came home so late that Yuta had curled up on his side and nearly fallen asleep. 

Ten was surprised and confused to find Yuta asleep on the couch. He wasn’t looking forward to this conversation, but he wouldn’t be able to sleep with the older man in the way. With a soft sigh, he walked over to the couch and gently shook Yuta awake. “You’re not gonna be comfortable out here,” he said.

“Neither are you,” Yuta mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he sat up, “come to bed, Tennie, let’s talk.”

“Yuta, it’s almost midnight. I have no energy to have a conversation right now. Let’s just go to bed and we’ll talk in the morning,” Ten said.

“Please, Ten,” Yuta said softly, “I need to apologize.”

Ten sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Fine, you can apologize and we’ll finish this conversation tomorrow,” he said. 

“Tennie, I’m so,  _ so  _ sorry,” Yuta said, sitting up and taking his fiancé’s hands, “I should have never called you that name, and I never should have prioritized Johnny over you. You deserve to be happy with all of this too and I’m really sorry that you’re not.”

Ten couldn’t bring himself to look at Yuta. “I’m sorry too,” he said quietly, “I should have put in more effort, especially since I agreed to this too. I’ll get better, I promise. But I want to make it very clear that I will never be okay with you using my name, especially because of Johnny.”

“It’s been months,” Yuta said sadly, “if you don’t feel anything by now, then I don’t know that it’s worth it to keep going.” 

Ten took a shaky breath. “You don’t have to lose him. It’s not fair for me to ask you to choose anyway when I know you care about both of us,” he said. 

“I love you both, but you’re my priority, Tennie,” Yuta said, “I’m always going to do everything I can to keep you happy, and I’ve been really bad at doing that lately.”

“You’ve been splitting your attention evenly. It’s fine, Yuta, I’m not upset about that,” Ten said with a shrug, “I really don’t know what’s going to be best at this point, but I’m going to make the most of the normalcy as long as we have it.”

“Even if you’re okay with it, I don’t want Jaemin growing up with this sort of tension in his life either,” Yuta said, “I love Johnny, but I think we should end things when he gets back.”

Ten nodded. “You know he’s probably gonna disappear completely. As long as you’re okay with losing him for good, I’m fine with ending things,” he said.

“I just don’t think any of this will ever be fair to anyone,” Yuta said with a sigh, “and I’ll miss him to no end, but I don’t want to hurt you or him anymore.”

“I don’t think it will either. We can ask what he wants to do too and see if he has any other ideas too,” Ten said, “but for now, let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

Yuta was all too happy to settle back into his fiancé’s arms again. He had missed being held by Ten at night.

It was nice to be back in his own bed, but something still felt off. Ten didn’t have the time to worry about it before he was fast asleep with Yuta wrapped in his arms. 

Yuta was just happy to have Ten back on his side. It made him sad that things hadn’t worked out with Johnny, but his family was more important.

The first few days were amazing. Ten caught up on all the time he missed with Jaemin and didn’t spend his whole day cooped up at the studio anymore. After that though, things seemed to hit a lull. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but he was determined to fix it.

Yuta and Ten were busy packing up everything in their apartment. It was a long process, especially since it seemed like every time they packed something, they suddenly found a use for it. The day of Johnny’s return was quickly approaching and neither of them were particularly excited for the conversation that would follow.

One afternoon, Ten was feeling particularly lethargic so he grabbed Yuta and all but forced his fiancé to cuddle with him. “I’m sick of packing,” he whined, “I’m tired, I don’t feel good, and something’s off and I don’t know what and I demand you take a nap with me to fix it all.”

“Let me go move Jaemin’s swing in here,” Yuta said, gently prying Ten’s arms off of him. He brought Jaemin into the bedroom then happily curled up next to his fiancé. 

Ten wrapped himself around Yuta, all but trapping his fiancé to the bed. “I’ve felt off for days and I don’t know what’s going on,” he whined, “I think I’m dreading leaving but I know it’s gonna be good for us.”

“It’s a big transition,” Yuta said, “I’m not surprised you’re nervous. Plus, Johnny will be back tomorrow.”

Ten hummed. He tightened his grip on Yuta and snuggled a little bit closer. “Do you think we’re making the right decision? Ending it all?” he asked quietly.

“Are you having doubts?” Yuta asked, “I just want to do what makes you happy.”

Ten buried his face in Yuta’s neck. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, “everything’s felt so weird since he’s been gone. I know you haven’t been as happy and to be honest…neither have I.” He didn’t really know where this was coming from, considering a few weeks ago he was fine with ending the whole thing.

“Where’s the change of heart coming from?” Yuta asked. He brushed Ten’s hair back carefully.

Ten took a deep breath. “I think...I think I miss him,” he admitted in a small voice, “I didn’t realize how nice it was having him around until he left.”

“There’s a difference between liking having him around and actually liking him,” Yuta said, “it isn’t weird to think of him as a friend after everything he’s done for us.”

Ten nodded. “I feel bad for being such a dick,” he mumbled, “he’s been so good to us and I’ve done nothing in return.”

“It’s alright,” Yuta said, “you won’t even have to worry about it soon.”

Ten shifted and hid his face more. “I don’t think we should break up with him,” he mumbled.

Yuta stilled. “You don’t?” This was a first. Even when Ten liked Johnny, he still hadn’t wanted to date him. 

Ten shook his head. “He’s so good for you and Jaemin, and even me. He was so helpful when I hurt my ankle a few weeks ago and doesn’t bat an eyelash whenever we ask him for stuff. And I know we make him really happy too. I think everyone would just be miserable if we break up,” he said quietly.

“So you want to try this?” Yuta said hesitantly, “for real?”

Ten picked his head up so he could see Yuta. “I want to try this for real,” he said sincerely, “I’m gonna apologize to Johnny first thing when he gets back and I’m gonna take him out on a real date that he deserves.”

Yuta relaxed at that. He could tell Ten was serious. “We should surprise him at the airport tomorrow,” he said, “I’ll get his flight info from Tae.”

Ten perked up at that. “Yeah, that’s a great idea. What if we made him a sign? Do you think he’d get embarrassed?” he asked. 

“Oh, completely,” Yuta said, “he’d go bright red.”

Ten smiled. “We have to do it then! He’d be so surprised,” he paused, “do you think it would be too suspicious?”

“Suspicious of what?” Yuta asked, “us showing our love?”

“Yeah. I just don’t know if he would trust I’m serious when I’ve been so cold,” Ten said quietly.

“Well, as long as you take him out and make it clear that you’re in it now, I don’t think he’ll have any issues,” Yuta said, “I know Johnny and he forgives way too easily.”

Ten laid his head back down. “I’m too lucky,” he said, “we’ll just see how everything goes and take it in stride.”

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to see us,” Yuta said, already grabbing his phone to text Taeyong.

“I hope so,” Ten mumbled. He wasn’t really all that tired anymore, but his nerves were through the roof. He clung onto Yuta tighter, wishing he could spend the rest of the day like this.

The next morning found Ten and Yuta standing in the exit terminal, waiting for Johnny. Ten had made a sign for “Professor John John” and was holding it proudly while Yuta held Jaemin, who was awake and peering around happily.

“You yell when you see him okay, Jaeminnie?” Ten asked rhetorically. It wasn’t all that hard to find Johnny when he finally walked through the doors. Ten held up the poster and waved it so that it was the first thing the older man saw. 

Johnny was tired when he got off the plane and didn’t even notice the poster at first, but it was hard to ignore the bright red words being waved at him. “What are you guys doing here?” he asked when he stepped up to his boyfriends.

“We wanted to surprise you,” Ten said. He tried not to sound too excited. He wasn’t sure how Johnny felt about him and he didn’t want to push anything.

Johnny smiled softly. “Thanks,” he said, “I missed you guys. Tae and Kun say hi.”

“We missed you too,” Ten said sincerely, “oh, how are they doing? Have they adjusted well?”

“They’re doing great,” Johnny said, “and Jisungie’s getting so big.”

Ten smiled softly. “Aw, I bet,” he said, “we’ll have to FaceTime them soon.”

“He’s cruising already,” Johnny said, “I’m sure he’ll be walking on his own in no time.”

“They’re gonna be chasing him all over the house soon,” Ten said fondly, “come on, let’s get going and you can tell us more in the car. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

Johnny led the way over to the baggage claim so he could get his suitcase, then let Ten and Yuta guide him out to the car. To his surprise, they started heading in the direction of their apartment instead of his.

Ten grabbed Johnny’s suitcase and carried it upstairs, just in case. “You can take a shower here if you want and we’ll have food ready when you get out,” he said. 

“I...yeah, okay,” Johnny said. He was a little uncertain about what was happening, but he wasn’t going to pass up on a hot shower and some homemade food.

Ten felt bad. Johnny probably thought something horrible was coming and it was actually the opposite. Despite that, Ten still waited until Johnny was done eating to breach the subject. “I, um, I owe you an apology. I haven’t been as invested in this relationship as I should be and I’m sorry it took you going away to realize that. I missed you a lot and I really like having you in my life. And I promise I’m gonna prove it to you,” he said. 

Johnny had to swallow his water slowly so he didn’t choke. “Thanks, Ten,” he said quietly, “that means a lot.”

Ten nodded. “I really appreciate everything you do, not just for me, but for all of us. And thank you for being such an amazing boyfriend even though I haven’t been,” he said. Taking a deep breath, he rounded the table and kissed Johnny’s cheek. 

Johnny’s face flushed deeply when Ten kissed him. He really still had no idea what was going on here, but he didn’t mind it at all. Unfortunately, it was right then that he decided to yawn.

“I think it’s bedtime,” Ten said, taking a step back, “did you, uh, wanna stay here tonight?”

“I can go home,” Johnny said uncertainly, “or take the couch. It’s fine.”

Ten glanced at Yuta. “You wouldn’t fit on the couch,” he said, “you can sleep in the bed.”

Johnny looked between the two of them. That had...not been okay before. “Okay, what’s happening right now?” he asked.

Ten took a few steps back and stood next to Yuta. “It's just really late and I know you’re tired so it’s okay if you stay here,” be said. 

“Right,” Johnny said slowly, “but...that’s your bed. That’s off limits.”

“I know, but you won’t fit on our couch. I barely fit on the couch. It’d just be more comfortable for you,” Ten said. 

Johnny knew he was tired, but there was something not adding up here. He was supposed to sleep...in Ten and Yuta’s bed...with them?

Yuta hadn’t protested yet so he must have been okay with the idea. “I’ll move Jaemin out here for the night and I’ll stay with him so he doesn’t bother you,” Ten said, “but it’s okay if you don’t want to. I can take you home.”

“No, I’m just...this is weird,” Johnny said, “not bad weird, but I’m still just trying to wrap my head around it. What happened to all your walls and boundaries while I was gone?”

Ten wrapped his arms around himself. “I think keeping the boundaries too strict were part of the problem,” he admitted, “I know this is moving really fast, but it’s just one night for right now.”

“So you don’t mind me taking a nap in your bed, potentially with your fiance if he decides he’s tired?” Johnny said, still bewildered.

Ten chewed on his lip. “It makes the most sense. You two are a lot closer and I need to let go of some things if this relationship is going to work,” he said. 

“You can join us too,” Yuta said softly. “The baby won’t bother me,” Johnny mumbled offhandedly, still trying to puzzle all this out.

Ten turned his attention to Yuta. “Are you sure?” he asked quietly, “I’m really okay on the couch.”

“Yes, Tennie, I’m sure,” Yuta said, “Johnny’s clearly exhausted, and we’ve both been up since like three with the baby. It’s naptime.” He all but manhandled Johnny out of his chair and down the hall to the bedroom.

Ten followed behind them with Jaemin. He changed the baby’s diaper and paced back and forth with him until he was nearly asleep. Once the baby was in his crib, he turned around to face the bed. 

Despite having just showered, Yuta all but forced Johnny to change into pajamas and lay down in the middle of the bed. With all his limb, the two smaller men on either side of him would be the easiest way to do this.

Ten had planned on staying next to Yuta but it looked like that wasn’t an option anymore. He hesitated for a moment before climbing into bed next to Johnny.

Johnny was already passed out, asleep on his stomach with his face shoved in a pillow. Yuta laid on one side of him, absentmindedly playing with his hair.

Ten gave Johnny plenty of room, opting to lay near the edge in case he had to get up for Jaemin. He simply watched Johnny and Yuta. His fiancé looked so content and he knew he could never take this away from him. 

“Babe, you’re about to fall off the bed,” Yuta said, raising his eyebrows, “you suggested this. Take advantage, get closer to him.”

“I suggested you two staying together,” Ten said, “and I don’t want to bother him if Jaemin needs something.” Despite his protests, he still slid closer to Johnny.

“Johnny can sleep through pretty much anything unless he’s on baby duty,” Yuta said, “Jaemin won’t bother him at all right now, and neither will you.”

“Alright, alright,” Ten said. He scooted a little closer until he was laying right next to Johnny.

Johnny roused just barely. He turned slightly so his back was towards Yuta and dragged Ten into his arms, trapping him there.

Ten sucked in a breath. Oh, this wasn’t what he wanted. This was supposed to have been Yuta’s spot, but here he was. And now how was he supposed to get up for Jaemin? 

Yuta smiled at the way Johnny had unintentionally trapped Ten. “Guess I’m on baby duty,” he said.

Ten whined quietly. “What do I do?” he whispered. There was no way they could stay like this. He wasn’t even sure if Johnny meant for this to happen.

“Just stay there,” Yuta said, “Johnny’s comfy to sleep on, I promise.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to fall asleep,” Ten admitted. He tried to force himself to relax, but it was proving to be difficult. 

“You’ll get there,” Yuta said, “you don’t really have a choice now.”

Ten whined again. He glanced up at Johnny and marveled at how peaceful the older man looked. With a soft sigh, Ten laid his head down and tried to get some sleep, although it was never more than a doze. 

Johnny woke with a start a few hours later. Glancing down, he saw Ten nestled peacefully in his arms, although he flushed when he realized that probably wasn’t intentional.

Ten’s eyes flew open when he felt Johnny move. He braved glancing up and froze when he made eye contact with the older man. “How was your nap?” he asked hesitantly.

“Good,” Johnny said softly. He slowly moved his arms, not wanting to wake Yuta behind him, to set Ten free. 

Ten scooted back from Johnny a little bit. He glanced down at the sheets and played with the edge. “I get why Jaemin likes napping in your arms now,” he said quietly.

That just made Johnny flush darker. “Thank you?” he squeaked out nervously.

Ten chuckled quietly when he heard how flustered Johnny sounded. “Speaking of Jaemin, I’m gonna check on him. I’m sure Yuta wouldn’t be opposed to his fair share of cuddling.”

Johnny smiled softly and did his best to roll over without jostling his other boyfriend. He wrapped Yuta in his arms and sighed happily. 

Ten climbed out of bed carefully and walked over to the crib. Jaemin was wide awake and peered up at Ten. “Hi, baby. You’re awfully quiet. What are you plotting?” Ten whispered. He lifted the baby out of the crib and carried him into the living room.

Johnny still wasn’t entirely convinced that he wasn’t dreaming. Was this just pity, because Ten and Yuta were moving in a week? He didn’t know but he was going to take advantage of it.

Ten sat on the couch and helped Jaemin sit up on his thighs. He kept one hand on the baby’s back to make sure he didn’t fall backwards. It was nice to have some alone time with his son and he didn’t even feel weird about Yuta sleeping with Johnny.

Yuta woke up a little while later and groaned tiredly. “Sleep well?” Johnny asked. 

Ten was in his own little world playing with Jaemin. He weaved little stories in all the languages he knew, but Jaemin only seemed interested in the toy he was chewing on. Only when he started getting fussy did Ten bring him into the kitchen to make him a bottle.

Yuta hummed and snuggled a little closer. “It’s been a long time since I’ve woken up like this,” he mumbled.

When Jaemin was fed and burped, Ten brought the baby back into the living room. This time he laid him on a blanket in the middle of the floor and let him explore the toys laid around him. 

“We should go find Tennie,” Johnny said through a yawn, “I think he took Jaemin out in the living room.”

Ten lay on his stomach in front of Jaemin with his head resting on his folded arms. Every so often, he would move a toy a little farther away from Jaemin so that the baby would have to reach for it. He wasn’t sure if his son was enjoying the game as much as he was, but at least the baby wasn’t getting upset.

Jaemin wiggled his butt as he tried to reach for the toy. When he finally succeeded in grabbing it, he giggled wildly, slapping the toy in the blanket.

Ten beamed when Jaemin laughed. “Are you having fun too?” he cooed. He grabbed a different toy and moved it for Jaemin to reach for. 

Jaemin wiggled his way forward until he could reach the second toy, slapping them both on the ground with loud, happy screeches. 

“You’re gonna wake up Papa and Uncle J if you keep this up,” Ten said with a laugh. He grabbed onto one of the toys and pulled gently.

“Papa and Uncle J are already awake,” Yuta said as he padded into the living room with Johnny not far behind. “Is that the first time he’s laughed?”

“See what you did?” Ten teased. He turned around to look up at Yuta. “It’s the first time I’ve heard him.”

“I feel like he grew so much in the few weeks I was gone,” Johnny said, sitting on the couch.

“You’re getting so big, Jaeminnie,” Ten said turning back around, “and now you have no excuses not to laugh at Daddy’s jokes.” He leaned forward and kissed the baby’s forehead. 

Yuta stooped over to pick up the baby, kissing his cheek before settling him on his hip. “Did he eat yet?”

Ten pouted when Yuta took Jaemin. “Yeah, a little while ago,” he replied. He rolled over onto his back with a groan and looked up at his fiancé and son. 

“That’s good,” Yuta said, “you nice and full now, Jaeminnie?”

Ten chuckled. “That he is,” he murmured. He let his eyes fall closed with a sigh. 

“Good, we like full, happy babies,” Yuta said, patting Jaemin’s belly with a smile. 

Ten smiled. “You’re on diaper duty then,” he said. He knew laying on the floor was horrible for his back, but he couldn’t bring himself to move yet.

“That’s fine by me,” Yuta said. He sat down next to Johnny, smiling when the eldest reached out and let Jaemin grab onto his finger. 

Ten hummed. With a groan he pulled himself to sit up and put his arms behind himself to hold himself up. “Are you gonna give Johnny back his finger or are you keeping it for yourself?” he asked. 

“He can keep it,” Johnny said, “I don’t need it.”

Ten laughed. “If you’re not careful, it’s gonna end up in his mouth and you really won’t want it back,” he said. 

“I think we can stop it before it gets that far,” Johnny said. He crooked his finger, playing tug of war with the baby. 

Ten watched Johnny play with Jaemin. The baby had a wide smile on his face and was greatly enjoying the game. “Hey, Johnny, would you, uh, wanna go on a date this week? Like an actual date,” he asked hesitantly.

Johnny looked up, surprised. “Like, all three of us?” he asked. 

Ten chewed on his lip. He pushed himself to sit up more. “No, I was thinking just the two of us,” he said carefully.

“Oh,” Johnny said, “yeah, that sounds like fun.”

Ten smiled. “It’ll be worth it, I promise,” he said earnestly.

“Yeah, just let me know when and where and I’ll be there,” Johnny said with a smile.

Ten nodded. “You gotta recover from your adventure first and then we’ll go do something,” he said. 

“Don’t wait too long or you’ll be gone instead,” Johnny said. 

Ten deflated slightly. “I won’t. We’ll go in a couple days,” he said. He had to think of something perfect.

“It doesn’t have to be anything huge or special,” Johnny said with a fond smile.

“It’s gonna be perfect,” Ten promised. And it was. Or at least his plan was. He had refused to tell Johnny where they were going until they got there.

Johnny was surprised at how easily Ten had taken his hand when they’d met up outside the subway station. The younger man all but dragged him down the street to wherever their date destination was.

“Surprise!” Ten announced when they reached the board game cafe. He turned to look at Johnny to see his reaction. Hopefully the older man liked it.

“Oh, Tennie, this is so cute!” Johnny exclaimed. He used to love going to these when he was in college, but he hadn’t been to one in years.

Ten beamed happily. He guided Johnny inside and let him take everything in for a moment. “Do you wanna pick a game and grab a table and I’ll get us something to eat?” he asked. 

Johnny easily agreed and wandered off to browse the shelves of games. He eventually settled on one that he knew and enjoyed and carried it over to where Ten was sitting. 

“Good choice, b- Johnny,” Ten said, catching himself. He wasn’t sure how Johnny felt about pet names at this point. Trying to distract himself, he pulled the top off of the box and began setting up the pieces.

Johnny sat across from Ten, rubbing his hands together with a smirk as he waited for the pieces to be set up. “Ready for me to crush you?” he said. 

Ten sat up a little straighter. “Oh, that’s what you think,” he said, “just don’t be disappointed when you lose.” They quickly got so wrapped up in the game that Ten nearly jumped out of his seat when they called his name to get their food.

Johnny chuckled when Ten flinched. He relaxed slightly as Ten got up to get the food. This was going a lot better than he had thought it would.

“Don’t laugh at me or I won’t share,” Ten threatened when he walked back over to the table. It was hard to keep the wide smile off of his face even though he was trying to act serious. 

“I’m just laughing at how cute you are,” Johnny said smoothly, eyes lighting up when Ten set the plate in front of him. “Tennie, is this what I think it is?”

“It’s exactly what you think it is,” Ten said happily, “I picked this place specifically so we could have deep dish for dinner. I don’t know why we’ve never done this before.”

Johnny hadn’t had Chicago-style pizza since he’d moved to Korea. He didn’t even know that they had it anywhere in Seoul. He was really touched that Ten would go to such specific lengths for him. 

“I, uh, hope it’s okay,” Ten said quietly. He really hoped the pizza would live up to Johnny’s expectations.

“It looks great,” Johnny said, “and even their best attempt is better than nothing.” He took a bite and immediately moaned happily. It was  _ so  _ good.

Ten’s smile found its way back onto his face. “I take that as it’s good,” he said with a laugh.

“It’s amazing, Tennie, you have to try it,” Johnny said, cheeks bulging with food. 

Ten reached across the table and grabbed his own piece of pizza. He hummed happily when he took a bite. “It is really good,” he agreed, “I’m so glad you like it.”

“This is my new favorite place,” Johnny said as he reached for a second slice, “I live here now.”

Ten laughed. “They’re gonna run out of pizza if you live here,” he said. 

“Thank you for bringing me here,” Johnny said quietly, “it really does mean a lot.” In no time at all, they had finished the pizza and their game and were now simply walking through a nearby park. 

Ten slipped his hand into Johnny’s and threaded their fingers together. “I’m really glad you enjoyed tonight,” he said. 

Johnny squeezed Ten’s hand gently. “Really, you just made the next date even harder for yourself,” he joked. 

“Yeah, I really don’t know how I’m gonna one up myself,” Ten said. He glanced up and marveled at the multitude of stars strewn across the sky.

“It’ll be a while,” Johnny said softly, “I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with something.”

Ten turned his head away so Johnny wouldn’t see him frown. “I’ll come up with something even better than this,” he promised. 

“It’ll be hard to beat this,” Johnny said, “this was really, really perfect, Ten.”

A small smile pulled at the corner of Ten’s lips. “It was the least I could do after everything you’ve done for me,” he said quietly, “I don’t know if we’ll ever be even.”

“It’s not about being even,” Johnny said, “I don’t care about the past. I care about now.”

Ten still couldn’t look up at Johnny. “I don’t deserve you,” he said, “and don’t deny it. You’ve been so good to me in spite of everything. And thank you for never treating Yuta or Jaemin any differently despite how I acted.”

“It’s really nothing,” Johnny said, “you were perfectly within your rights to be suspicious of me after how I acted when we were in college. I’m just glad we can finally move on.”

Ten nodded. “Me too,” he said quietly, “and as much as I’m enjoying this walk, we should probably head home soon before my nose freezes off.”

Johnny hummed. “I’ll walk you back to your train,” he said.

“Are you not gonna stop over to see Yuta?” Ten asked. Although he was getting chilly, he wasn’t quite ready to end the night.

Johnny hesitated but eventually shook his head. “I have to be up early tomorrow for a symposium,” he said, “besides, tonight’s just about you and me.”

Ten’s cheeks warmed. He intentionally slowed his pace so it would take longer to get to the train. He was going to make the most of tonight if it killed him. 

Johnny swung his and Ten’s hands back and forth as they walked slowly toward the train station. He didn’t want this night to end. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” Ten admitted, “I know we’ll still talk, but I’m gonna miss stuff like this.”

“I’m gonna miss you guys too,” Johnny breathed out, “but we’ll talk, and I’ll try to visit if I can.” This was it, the goodbye he had feared. 

Ten tightened his grip on Johnny’s hand. “We’d love it if you came to visit. If everything goes well, hopefully you’d be able to come live with us one day,” he said. 

That surprised Johnny. He was so sure that Ten and Yuta would end things once they were in Japan, that this was some sort of final pity date so Johnny didn’t feel so lonely. “We’ll see,” he said finally. 

Ten nodded, satisfied with that. He didn’t want to plan too far into the future when he had the rest of tonight to focus on.

Johnny and Ten fell silent for the rest of the walk to the subway. “I guess this is it,” Johnny said when they reached the familiar staircase, “I really had a great time tonight.”

“That makes me really happy,” Ten said. He let go of Johnny’s hand so he could wrap the older man in a hug. 

Johnny hugged Ten long and tight, not knowing when he would be able to see him again. He was going to miss his boyfriends a lot. 

Ten buried his face in Johnny’s shoulder. He was taking advantage of the embrace to try and warm up a little. 

Johnny presses a small kiss to the top of Ten’s head. He slowly pulled away so Ten could leave and catch a train.

Ten still wasn’t ready to leave. He held onto Johnny’s hand, trying to figure out how else he could stall. 

“Tennie, you’re gonna miss your train,” Johnny said softly. 

Ten glanced up at Johnny, eyes darting around his face until they landed on his lips. “It would be worth it,” he said quietly. Channeling all of the courage he had, he stood up on his tiptoes and tilted his head up to kiss Johnny.

Johnny stood in shock when Ten kissed him before giving in and kissing him back. This would be the only chance he ever had. 

Ten relaxed when Johnny kissed him back. He pulled the older man closer, trying to make the most of it. 

Johnny forced himself to pull away. “You should go, Ten,” he said softly. 

Ten backed away, scared that he had upset Johnny. “Yuta and Jaemin are gonna want to say goodbye before we leave,” he said slowly, “and I’m really glad you enjoyed your night.” With one last glance at Johnny, he turned around and headed down the stairs to catch his train.

Johnny’s eyes followed Ten sadly. That was it then. It was over. 

Ten didn’t know what to think. He traveled home in a haze and didn’t even register the trip was over until he pushed the front door open.

Johnny crossed the street to reach his side of the platform, glad that he and Ten were traveling in opposite directions. He almost made it home without crying. Almost. 

Ten wordlessly made his way through the apartment to find Yuta. Without so much as a smile in greeting, he wrapped himself around his fiancé and buried his head in his neck.

“How did it go?” Yuta asked, tipping his head back onto Ten’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know,” Ten said shakily. The night had gone so well until he had to go and ruin it. He had simply been too ambitious trying to prove to Johnny that he cared.

“What happened?” Yuta asked. He turned to properly look at his fiancé.

Ten stared at Yuta for a moment. How the hell was he supposed to explain this to fiancé? He was going to ruin everything for good just when he realized he wanted to fix things. “I...I...please don’t be mad at me. I love you more than anything and please, promise me that you know that,” he begged.

“Ten, what did you do?” Yuta asked incredulously, “unless you murdered Johnny or told him to fuck off, I don’t think I’ll be mad.”

Ten dropped his head. “I didn’t do either of those,” he mumbled, “I...I kissed him.” He took a step back and waited for Yuta to kick him out.

“Why would I be mad at you for that?” Yuta asked, “how did he react?”

“Because I should have waited until we agreed it was okay,” Ten said sadly. He kept his eyes glued to the floor. “He didn’t seem angry, but he definitely wasn’t happy about. I think…I think I fucked up.”

“I’m not mad, Tennie. Maybe a little envious that you kissed him first, but definitely not mad,” Yuta said, “he’s probably just sad because we’re moving in a few days. We can call him tomorrow night and see if he wants to come over.”

Ten nodded. “Yeah, we can do that,” he said quietly, “how was Jaemin?”

“He was amazing,” Yuta said, “why don’t you text Johnny and make sure he made it home okay?”

Ten pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I don’t know if he’s gonna want to hear from me,” he said sadly. He typed out a message anyway and hit send. 

Johnny couldn’t do it. He couldn’t act like everything was okay right now. The two most important people in his life were leaving and he wasn’t ever going to see them again. When Ten’s message came through, he sent back an affirmative then immediately hit block. Cutting them off was less painful than watching them leave. 

“He made it home okay,” Ten relayed, “I’m gonna take a shower and then I think I’m gonna lay down.” He sent one last message and left his phone on his nightstand while he went to grab clean clothes.

Johnny blocked Yuta as well then went to shower. At least there, he could pretend he wasn’t collapsing inside. 

Ten was sad but not surprised to not find a response from Johnny when he got out. He put his phone back down and wrapped himself around a pillow.

The shower really didn’t help. Johnny cancelled his lectures for the following day, then got into bed and simply let himself cry. Even when they had initially left him, it hadn’t hurt this bad, because he deserved it then. He had done everything right this time, but he was still losing them.

Ten barely slept that night. He just had a sinking feeling that he ruined everything. The next morning, he focused on taking care of Jaemin before typing out a new message to Johnny.

Johnny knew he should be happy that Yuta was finally going home and that he would finally be happy and healthy, but he simply didn’t have it in him anymore. There was literally nothing to be done this time, and it hurt immensely.

Ten was confused. None of his messages to Johnny were going through. “Hey, Yu, can you text Johnny? Something’s going on with my phone,” he said. 

Yuta grabbed his phone off the table and tried sending a message to Johnny. “Nothing's going through,” he said, “that’s weird. I have service.”

“What’s going on? Both of our phones can’t be broken,” Ten said. This didn’t make sense. Or did it? Ten froze when it finally dawned on him what had happened. “Did he...did he block us?” he asked in a small voice.

“That fucker,” Yuta growled. He grabbed his keys. “Get the baby; we’re going over there.” 

Ten didn’t move. “I can’t go. This is my fault and I’m just gonna make everything worse,” he said, still not entirely registering what was happening.

“No, this is Johnny being a fuckin’ sadboy about us leaving,” Yuta said, “get the baby, Ten, c’mon!”

Ten flinched and took a few steps away from Yuta. “I  _ can’t _ ,” he said desperately, “if I had just put in the effort from the beginning instead of trying to make up for the last few months in one night, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“We would be moving either way, Ten,” Yuta said, “I doubt this has anything to do with last night except that kissing you might have made him sadder. Now, come on. I’m not going over there alone.”

Ten sighed sadly. He didn’t want any part of this, but he knew Yuta wouldn’t budge. Silently, he packed Jaemin’s bag and buckled the baby into his carrier. He didn’t say anything on the drive over either.

Johnny woke up to someone pounding on his door. Wrapping himself in a blanket, he wondered who in god's name would be coming to visit him. He trudged over to the door and looked through the peephole, blanching when he realized it was Yuta and Ten, and they looked pissed. Well, Yuta did at least. “Seo Youngho, I will knock down this door, don’t you test me!” Yuta shouted, “open the fuck up!” With a heavy sigh, Johnny unlocked the door and went to hide in his room.

Ten didn’t follow Yuta. He didn’t want to be around his fiancé when he was this angry, he didn’t want Jaemin around the argument, and he especially couldn’t bring himself to be around Johnny.

Yuta opened the door when he heard the lock click, dragging Ten and Jaemin with him. With a huff, he dropped Ten’s hand and went to look for Johnny. When he found the older man, Johnny looked...not great.

Ten situated himself in the living room. He took Jaemin out of his carrier so he didn’t start getting fussy.

“Johnny, what’s going on?” Yuta asked softly. He approached the bed with caution, not wanting to upset his boyfriend any further. Johnny looked at him miserably.

Jaemin picked up on Ten’s mood quickly and looked up at his father with big eyes. “Everything’s gonna be okay, cutie,” he said, more to convince himself than anything.

In all their years of friendship, Yuta had never once seen Johnny cry and especially not like this. “You guys are leaving,” he finally choked out. The  _ leaving me  _ was left unspoken.

No matter what Ten did, Jaemin was simply not having it. As long as he wasn’t crying, it was a win in Ten’s book.

“We’ll be in Japan, yeah, but that doesn’t mean that we’re over,” Yuta said as he gingerly sat down. Johnny shook his head. “You don’t get it,” he mumbled. 

Ten reached into the bag and grabbed the first toy he found. Hopefully, that would keep Jaemin occupied until Yuta and Johnny were done talking. 

“Then explain it to me,” Yuta said patiently. “Don’t use my tactics on me,” Johnny said crossly, “I just want to be alone, Yuta.”

Ten kept an ear toward the bedroom, but he couldn’t make out anything the older men were saying. That was probably for the best though.

“Well, I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what’s wrong, so I guess that sucks for you,” Yuta said. Johnny was silent for a few minutes before he spoke. “Everyone’s leaving,” he said quietly, “Tae already left, you and Ten are leaving. I don’t have anyone else, and all of you guys are going to realize how much you don’t need me. I don’t like being alone.”

Ten bounced his legs gently, but not even that could get a smile out of the baby. “What’s going on, Jaeminnie? You’re too little to be upset by all of this,” Ten said softly. He laid the baby against his shoulder and hoped the proximity would make him happier.

Yuta didn’t know what he could say that would make Johnny feel better. Everything he thought of just sounded like empty promises, even to him. “Tennie, can you bring the baby in here?” he called. 

Oh no. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Ten knew he couldn’t say no, so he slowly stood up from the couch and headed into the bedroom.

Yuta took the baby from Ten and passed him to Johnny, who seemed hesitant to hold him for once. Yuta latched onto Ten’s wrist, preventing him from leaving. With a sigh, he said, “please tell Ten you’re not mad at him for last night so he’ll stop hiding.” Johnny glanced up at the youngest man and nodded almost imperceptibly. “I’m just sad,” he said. 

“I’m sorry,” Ten mumbled simply. He pulled his arm out of Yuta’s grip and took a few steps away. It would be worse if he left so he just wrapped his arms around himself and waited. 

“Johnny seems to think that the fact that we’re moving means that we are no longer going to want to be with him,” Yuta explained, “I can’t even articulate how wrong he is.”

Ten’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I thought we agreed that nothing would change when we moved?” he asked quietly, “that we we’re just going to do this long distance and everything would stay the same. We still want you, Johnny, even if we won’t be right down the street.”

“Those are just words,” Johnny said miserably, “you’re going to see how easily and painlessly you can live without me and you won’t want me anymore.”

“We’re willing to try this. We want to make it work and I don’t know how to prove it to you until we actually move,” Ten said, “I’m finally fighting for this to work and now you don’t want this anymore? I just want to make you happy.”

“Which is why I didn’t want to fucking talk about this,” Johnny said, glowering at Yuta, “I know that I’m being dumb and insecure, but what am I supposed to think when you take me out on a fucking pity date?”

Ten took another step back and stared at Johnny sadly. “It wasn’t a pity date. It was me trying to make up for the months I was an ass to you. You deserved a real date and I wanted to do that before we left,” he said.

“I’m supposed to just believe that you suddenly don’t hate me?” Johnny asked incredulously. 

“No, you’re not,” Ten said quietly, “but I want to prove to you that I’m trying to fix things. And I’m gonna continue to work at this, even when we’re gone.”

“What’s the point?” Johnny said miserably, “clearly, none of this was ever meant to be.” “Shut up,” Yuta said sharply.

“What’s going to make you happy? Other than us staying here,” Ten asked carefully. Jaemin was busy exploring Johnny’s face with one hand. 

“I don’t know,” Johnny said, “I thought cutting you guys off would hurt less than having to watch you leave but it doesn’t.”

“Then please don’t cut us off. We can figure out how to make this long distance thing worth it for everyone,” Ten said. 

“I’m scared,” Johnny confessed, “if I stay here, then I have no one and nothing but my career. If I go to the States, I’ll be even further from you guys. And if I follow you to Japan and we end up breaking up, then I’ve uprooted my entire life for something that was never going to work. I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t think it would be a good idea to move so soon. But if we can make it work long distance, then you can look to moving to Japan on your own. That way if something happens you won’t lose everything,” Ten said. 

“If I lose you two, I lose everything,” Johnny confessed quietly.

“You aren’t gonna lose us,” Ten said slowly. In the back of his mind, he was starting to panic. It definitely wasn’t healthy for Johnny to be this dependent on them, but they had to work something out.

“I know it’s dumb,” Johnny said, “and I know better than to be this dependent, but it’s hard to handle losing this. Losing you.”

Ten nodded. “We’re not gonna lose this,” he assured, “we’re all gonna work together to make sure this doesn’t fall apart. And that means not hiding from each other.”

“You guys were happy without me before, and happy when I was gone, and you’ll be happy an ocean away from me,” Johnny said quietly, hand coming up to stop Jaemin from toppling himself backwards, “and I hate that that terrifies me.”

“ _ I  _ was happy,” Ten clarified, “but I can’t speak for Yuta and I definitely can’t speak for Jaeminnie.”

Johnny shrunk in on himself. He knew Ten was and always would be happy without him; he didn’t need a reminder. The baby in his lap whimpered and Johnny lifted him up to lay over his shoulder. 

Ten paused and took another step towards the door. “And I’m still happy now. I just want what’s best for everyone,” he said. He snuck a glance at Yuta.

As he was actively trying to leave the room? Sure. Johnny believed that. “I’ll be fine in a few days,” he said with a heavy sigh, handing Jaemin back to Yuta, “I just need some time alone to sort myself out.”

Ten dropped his eyes to his feet. All he could do now was wait for Yuta to say they could leave.

Yuta sighed. Clearly, they weren’t going to get through to Johnny today. “We’ll give you some space,” he said finally, “but please don’t leave us hanging, alright?” Johnny nodded.

“You know where to find us when you’re ready,” Ten said quietly. After that he led the way out of the bedroom and packed up Jaemin’s bag.

Yuta and Ten finally took their leave, but Johnny didn’t relax. He had to come to terms with this somehow.

Ten didn’t say anything on the drive home or on the way up to their apartment. Only when the door locked behind them did he speak. “Please don’t ever make me do something again when I tell you I can’t,” he said, leaving no room for argument. Not giving Yuta a chance to respond, he walked down the hallway and into their bedroom.

Yuta sighed. Johnny was upset, Ten was mad at him, and the baby was fussy. Everything was just going great. He hated the idea of leaving things on bad terms with Johnny, but he didn’t know how to fix it. 

Ten was grateful when Yuta didn’t follow him. He curled into a ball in bed and absently scrolled through his phone. All of this was his fault and he didn’t particularly want to be thinking about that right now.

The next few days passed tensely. Johnny eventually unblocked his boyfriends and texted them long apologies. He was embarrassed about his little meltdown.

Ten wasn’t really sure how to handle Johnny’s message. Yuta was better at responding to things like this anyway so he left it up to his fiancé to take care of. In the meantime, he busied himself playing with Jaemin and making the most of their last few days in the apartment.

Yuta invited Johnny to come over for one final dinner, but the older man declined. It was still all too much for him.

Ten wasn’t entirely surprised that Johnny didn’t want to come over. He wondered if the older man was still going to come to the airport to drop them off. He doubted it.

Johnny showed up at the apartment bright and early on the morning of Ten and Yuta’s departure. He had promised he would drop them off, and he didn’t plan on breaking that promise. Granted, it was probably pretty obvious that he wasn’t doing so great himself, but a promise was a promise. 

Ten was shocked when Johnny showed up at their apartment. The older man looked worse for wear and Ten thought that it might have been better for him not to push himself. “Thanks for coming,” he said quietly, “we really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Johnny said, “are you guys all ready to go?”

“We just have to put away the last of Jaeminnie’s things and I think that’s the last of it,” Ten replied. He did one last check of the whole apartment to make sure they hadn’t missed anything.

Johnny grabbed the few bags that were left near the door and carried them down to the car. Hopefully, this all went smoothly. 

“Ready to go?” Ten asked Yuta. Everything was already in the car and all of the things they were taking with them had been shipped already. It was odd to see the apartment so bare, but this would definitely be good for them.

“Yeah,” Yuta said with a sigh, “let’s go to Japan.” He picked up the baby carrier and shut off the last light. 

Ten smiled softly. “We’re going home,” he whispered supportively. He took Yuta’s free hand im his own and guided his family downstairs.

Johnny’s heart sunk a little when he saw Ten and Yuta whispering and holding hands as they approached the car. The ring on Yuta’s finger had never seemed brighter. 

Ten let Yuta have the front seat. He was content to sit in the back with Jaemin. The baby was in a good mood and he hoped it stayed that way.

Johnny left the radio on while he drove, hoping that he wouldn’t have to talk at all. Once they reached the airport, he helped them get everything out of the car then stood there awkwardly. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye. 

“Come here, Jaeminnie. We gotta say bye bye,” Ten said, lifting the baby from the carrier. He handed Jaemin to Johnny to hold for a few more minutes.

Johnny held the baby tightly. He was going to miss watching him grow up. With a heavy sigh, he kissed Jaemin’s cheek before handing him back.

Ten put Jaemin back in his carrier. He wasn’t really sure what to do, so he hugged Johnny tightly. He didn’t know if it would help or hurt, but he had to do something.

Johnny stayed quiet, knowing he would break down if he tried to say anything. He hugged Ten tightly, tugging Yuta in as well. He was going to miss them so much.

“We’re gonna miss you a lot,” Ten whispered. He untucked his head so he could kiss Johnny’s cheek. 

“I’m gonna miss you guys too,” Johnny mumbled before finally pulling away, “please text me when you land, okay?”

Ten looked up at Johnny with teary eyes. “You’ll be the first person we text,” he promised. He bent over to pick up the carrier.

“Your sister’s picking you guys up, right?” Johnny asked Yuta, who nodded. “Alright, let me know once you’ve found her. I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Ten said without missing a beat, “say bye-bye, Jaeminnie. We’ll see Uncle J soon, okay?”

Johnny watched as his favorite people in the world walked away from him toward the security line. He took a deep breath and got back in the car.

“Do you think he’s gonna be okay?” Ten asked nervously. He had never been this worried about Johnny, especially because the older man had no one to keep an eye on him.

“He will be,” Yuta said, “maybe not right away, but he’s strong. And we’re gonna talk to him as often as we can.”

Ten nodded. “What if this doesn’t work?” he asked quietly. He really, truly wanted it to, but he still couldn’t help but feel like he ruined those chances.

Yuta took a deep breath. “Let’s not think about that,” he said, “I don’t want to even consider it.”

“Okay,” Ten said quietly, “let’s go to Japan.” **  
**


	18. Epilogue

Yuta was beyond happy to finally be home, but he would be the first to admit that he missed Seoul and he missed Johnny. The three of them texted back and forth constantly and called or FaceTimed whenever they could, but it was still hard to not be able to talk to, support, and comfort Johnny in person. He and Ten had even been talking about taking a week’s vacation to fly back and surprise their boyfriend. One evening, a few months after moving, Yuta was just getting out of the shower after work when the doorbell went off. “Tennie, can you get the door?” he called. 

“Sure thing,” Ten called back. He kept an eye on Jaemin while he went to open the door. Yuta’s family dropped by a lot so he was surprised when he opened the door and found Johnny there. His mouth dropped open and he could barely contain himself before he threw himself into his boyfriend’s arms.

Johnny waited nervously outside his boyfriends’ house, rocking on the balls of his feet. When Ten opened the door, he smiled shyly but couldn’t even say anything before he had an armful of boyfriend. He just barely managed to move the flowers he had brought out of the way.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Ten said happily, “come on, Yuta’s gonna be so happy to see you too.” He pulled away and grabbed Johnny’s hand, pulling his boyfriend into the house.

Johnny smiled widely as he followed Ten into the house. He closed the door and toed his shoes off. He was surprised when Jaemin rounded the corner on his knees. “Hi, kiddo!” he said, stopping to pick the baby up.

“He’s just starting to get the hang of it, but it’s slow going,” Ten said, “Yuta, come say hi!” He tried to keep his voice even so as not to give Johnny away. 

“Who is it?” Yuta called back. He walked down the hallway, toweling his hair. When he saw Johnny, he froze. 

“Surprise!” Ten said excitedly. He still couldn’t believe Johnny had come all this way to surprise them.

Yuta dropped the towel and hurried to hug Johnny tightly. He couldn’t believe that their boyfriend was actually standing in their entryway, holding their son.

Ten smiled widely. He still couldn’t believe this was real and he felt like Johnny was going to disappear any minute.

“Hi,” Johnny said finally, “I brought flowers.” He held out both bouquets toward Ten with the arm not holding Jaemin.

“These are gorgeous, Johnny. Thanks,” Ten said. He took the flowers and brought them into the kitchen to find a vase.

Johnny kisses Yuta’s forehead with a smile. “I can’t believe Jaeminnie’s gotten so big,” he said.

Ten filled a vase with water and put the flowers in them. He carried the vase back into the living and set it in the middle of the coffee table. 

“I know, he’s turning into the cutest little man,” Yuta said, “I can’t believe you’re here. We’ve missed you so much.”

“You’re gonna be staying with us, right?” Ten asked hopefully. They had plenty of room for all of them now, not that they wouldn’t share a bed anyway.

“Well, I do have a temporary lease on an apartment a couple blocks away,” Johnny said, “but it’s temporary for a reason.”

Ten’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, no way! How long is it for?” he asked excitedly.

“Currently for a month, but I’ll be here quite a bit longer than that,” Johnny said, smile playing at his lips.

Ten beamed happily. “That’s amazing. We have to come see it one day,” he said. 

“What are you doing in Japan that long?” Yuta asked. “I took a job at Osaka University as the head of the psychology department,” Johnny announced proudly.

“Seo Youngho, you brilliant bastard,” Ten said with a tone of admiration, “they don’t even know how lucky they are to have you.”

“You’re here for good?” Yuta asked and Johnny nodded. “They contacted me,” he clarified, “but it was really perfect.”

“This is so perfect,” Ten said happily. He wanted to hug Johnny again but he would have to wait until he put Jaemin back down.

Yuta finally pulled away from Johnny with a wide smile. “I was just about to start dinner but I think this calls for a celebration,” he said, “let’s order out!”

“I’ll order us something while you show Johnny around the house,” Ten said. He disappeared into the kitchen again, this time to find a take out menu. 

Yuta grabbed Johnny’s free hand and tugged him around the house. The older man was still holding Jaemin, who giggled as he was carted around the house.

Once dinner was ordered, Ten went into the living room and clicked on the TV. As excited as he was to see Johnny, he wanted to give the older men a little alone time.

“It’s really nice,” Johnny praised, smiling at Yuta. The younger man beamed proudly. He was happy of his little home. 

Occasionally a giggle of Jaemin’s would float through the house and make Ten smile. He still couldn’t believe that Johnny was finally home with them.

Johnny wasn’t surprised when Yuta leaned up and kissed him softly. The last few months had been rough for all of them and it felt so nice to finally be with his family again.

Ten grabbed a pillow and stretched out on the couch. He was still too excited to even try to focus on the TV so he laid there and listened for Jaemin. 

Johnny and Yuta returned to where Ten was laying on the couch. “I’ve really missed you guys a lot,” he said.

Ten quickly sat up so the older men could sit with him. “We missed you so much too. These last few months have been pretty tough,” he admitted. 

Johnny leaned down and kissed Ten briefly, plopping the baby on his stomach. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom,” he said before disappearing down the hall.

Ten felt his cheeks heat up but he didn’t have time to worry, considering Jaemin was now sitting square in his lap. “Hi, baby. Did you give Uncle J a nice big hug?” he asked. 

“I can’t believe Johnny’s actually here,” Yuta said, sitting down on the ottoman, “and for good too!”

“I know,” Ten said happily, “it still feels too good to be true. But I’m really happy for him and I’m so glad he’s here.”

“I’m still not convinced that it’s real,” Yuta said, “and the contract? I already want to offer for him to just live here.”

“We can when he comes back,” Ten said, “he’ll probably finish out his lease but I don’t see why he can’t move in after.”

Yuta sighed happily. Everything was finally, finally working out for him.

Ten leaned over and kissed Yuta’s cheek. He hadn’t seen his fiancé look this happy since they moved here.

Johnny padded back into the living room, smiling at his boyfriends. The sight of them all together just made him so happy. 

Ten scooted over so Johnny had enough room to sit down. When Johnny came back into his field of vision, Jaemin whined and reached out for his uncle.

Johnny smiled and picked up Jaemin, setting the boy on his own lap as he sat. The baby seemed more than content with that and snuggled into his stomach.

“He’s quite the lovebug,” Ten said fondly. He reached over and ruffled Jaemin’s short hair. 

“Is he cruising yet?” Johnny asked. Between Taeyong and Yuta both having young kids, he’d done a lot of research on early childhood development. 

“No, not yet,” Ten said, “he’s still trying to get the hang of crawling.” It was cute how much Johnny knew about babies.

“Awh, I’m sure you’ll get there, Jaeminnie,” Johnny said, patting his back gently. The doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of their food, and Yuta got up to answer it. 

“He’s a little slow to the game, but we’re not too worried. Everybody’s got their own pace,” Ten said. 

Yuta carried the food into the living room, spreading it all out on the coffee table. “Dig in,” he announced. 

Ten moved down onto the floor. It was their first family dinner with all of them together in a long time.

Johnny moved to the floor with Jaemin still comfy in his lap. He sat cross legged and held his food with one hand.

“Jaemin, you’re lucky you’re tiny or you’d be in the way,” Ten said quietly. The baby didn’t seem to care in the slightest and was snug as a bug in Johnny’s lap.

They all ate in near silence, just happy to be around each other. Once everything was eaten and all the trash was cleaned up, Johnny helped Ten get Jaemin ready for bed. 

Jaemin was too excited to sit still for his bath and he ended up splashing a little bit by accident. Eventually the baby was washed and dressed and after a plentiful amount of good night kisses from everyone, he went down in his crib.

Yuta pulled out a bottle of wine and three glasses once the baby was down. As exciting as Johnny being there was, they definitely all needed to talk.

Ten grabbed a glass and sat himself back down on the couch. Judging by Yuta’s face he knew what was coming, but he didn’t want to be the one to start the conversation.

“How have you been the last few months?” Yuta asked as he sat down next to Ten. They talked frequently, but it would be harder for Johnny to lie to them face to face. “I’ve been okay,” Johnny said truthfully. 

Ten let his hand rest comfortably on Yuta’s thigh. “It's been weird not having you around,” he admitted, “we’re really glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here too,” Johnny said, “I really missed you guys a lot.”

Ten smiled softly. “We missed you too,” he said. He glanced over at Yuta, wondering if he still wanted to offer for Johnny to come stay with them.

“We know it might seem kinda soon, since you just got here and all, but we would really love it if you came to live with us,” Yuta said softly. 

Ten turned back to look at Johnny. “We’d understand if you want to finish out your lease, but we really do want you to come stay,” he said. 

Johnny chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “My lease isn’t really a lease,” he confessed, “it’s more of a...night by night negotiation.”

Ten’s eyes widened. “Seo Youngho, you stress me out,” he said, rubbing his forehead dramatically, “so I guess that means we’ll be moving your stuff here?”

“All of my stuff is currently in a storage unit,” Johnny explained, “I didn’t really do any planning before I came here; I just wanted to be here as quickly as possible. I was going to look for an apartment, I swear!”

Ten shook his head with a fond smile. “I think it would be better for everyone’s sanity if we just brought all of your stuff here. But we can do that tomorrow ‘cause none of us are driving tonight,” he said as he took his first sip of wine.

“Are you sure?” Johnny asked, “I’d understand if you don’t want to move that quickly. Four hours ago, you still thought I was in Korea.”

“You’re going to spend all of your free time here. There’s no reason for you to be paying for an apartment just to never be there,” Ten said. 

Johnny relaxed. Internally, he had hoped Ten and Yuta would make such an offer, but he was relieved nonetheless. “Thank you, guys,” he said. 

“Of course. We’re not just gonna let our boyfriend be stranded in Osaka. Especially considering we have three months of time together to make up for,” Ten said. 

Johnny smiled. That was certainly nice to hear. He finally took a sip of his wine, appreciating that Yuta still knew his favorites. 

“On top of all that, Jaemin would be very sad to hear his favorite uncle wouldn’t be staying with us,” Ten said, “so if that doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will.”

“I suppose I  _ have  _ to stay for Jaeminnie,” Johnny said dramatically. He couldn’t stop smiling. Being back with his boyfriends just made him so happy. 

Ten smiled happily. He couldn’t believe how much his attitude towards their relationship with Johnny had changed in the past few months, but he was so grateful. Everyone was so much happier.

They sat around for a while, talking quietly while slowly sipping their way through the bottle of wine. When bedtime finally rolled around, Johnny got up with a sigh and grabbed his coat.

“What the hell are you doing? Our bedroom isn’t that cold,” Ten said pointedly. He snagged the jacket out of Johnny’s hands and hung it up on the coat rack by the front door.

It took Johnny a second to process what Ten had said. “I figured I’d go back to the hotel,” he said slowly, “I don’t have any clothes or anything.”

Ten chewed on his lip. “I don’t think I have anything big enough for you,” he said glancing at Yuta, “but we can go back to get your stuff if you want.”

“Johnny doesn’t usually sleep with anything but underwear on anyway,” Yuta said dismissively, “c’mon, I’m not ready to send you packing just yet.”

Ten’s eyes widened a little. “Oh, well I guess that settles that,” he said, “and we have an extra toothbrush you can use.”

Johnny smiled shyly. This was new. He was happy that they were finally opening up to him physically. He had missed holding them the most. “Lead the way then,” he said. 

Ten showed Johnny to the bathroom and grabbed him everything he would need. They all rotated through the bathroom and after checking on Jaemin one more time, Ten was ready for bed.

Johnny wasn’t sure what the arrangement would be, so he went through the bathroom last and waited until the other two were in bed to try and fit himself in around them.

“I want to be on the edge in case Jaemin wakes up,” Ten said, “I don’t care who gets the middle so you might have to do rock, paper, scissors for it.”

“You got Johnny last time, it’s my turn,” Yuta said. He scooted toward the middle of the bed, leaving the other side for Johnny. 

Ten chuckled quietly. Once Yuta was settled he wasted no time wrapping around his fiancé. He peered over at Johnny, hoping the older man would join.

Johnny settled on the outside of the bed, facing his boyfriends. He left Yuta plenty of space to get comfortable and laid his head down. 

Ten pouted. “Seriously? You came all the way to surprise us and you’re gonna lay way over there? I don’t think so,” he said matter of factly.

“I don’t exactly fit very well in this bed to begin with,” Johnny said. Yuta pursed his lips. “I changed my mind,” he said, “Johnny in the middle.”

Ten released his hold on Yuta and waited for his boyfriends to switch places. He scooted a little bit closer to Johnny, unsure who he would prefer to cuddle with.

Johnny shifted into the middle, tensing unintentionally when Yuta crawled over him to switch places. Why was this so awkward all of a sudden?

Johnny’s face said it all so Ten backed off a little. Maybe they were pushing the older man a little too soon.

Eventually, Johnny relaxed. Yuta had settled easily into one of his sides and he left the other arm loose for Ten to wedge himself under if he so chose.

Ten debated for a moment before scooting closer again. He moved slowly enough that Johnny could stop him if he wanted, but the older man said nothing. Eventually, he pressed himself against Johnny’s side and hummed contently when his boyfriend didn’t pull away.

Johnny wrapped his other arm around Ten securely. He was giddy at the thought of having both his boyfriends easily within reach. It still seemed surreal, that he was actually here. 

“Just a fair warning, you are going to have to share Yuta. Or else,” Ten said. He tried to sound threatening but it came out more like a tired mumble. 

“Trust me, I know how Yuta sleeps,” Johnny replied softly, “I’m sure he’ll do plenty sharing of himself.”

“He better,” Ten mumbled. He laid his head on Johnny’s chest and let out a long sigh. Everything was finally falling into place and he couldn’t be happier.

Yuta was already fast asleep, which gave Johnny the perfect opportunity to really be able to talk to Ten. “You know I love you, right?” he asked softly. 

Ten paused. “I don’t think I deserve your love yet. I’ve been a pretty shitty boyfriend until recently and I still have a lot to fix,” he said. 

“I’ve told you before, I don’t care about fixing what happened, as long as it doesn’t continue to happen,” Johnny said, “and I can understand where you were coming from too. I just want you to know that you don’t need to compete with me.”

Ten nodded. “It won’t happen anymore I promise. I care about you both so much and I don’t want to compete with either of you,” he said. 

“I love you so much, Tennie,” Johnny said, “and I want all of this to be as equal as it can be. Minimal fighting, minimal jealousy.”

“I don’t want to be fighting all the time either,” Ten agreed, “as long as we talk to each other everything’s gonna be okay.” He pushed himself up so he could kiss Johnny’s cheek.

“We’ve been so good the last few months,” Johnny said, “I don’t want things to change just because we’re physically together.”

“They won’t,” Ten promised, “we’ll make sure they don’t. Everything’s gonna work out. And now that we’re all putting in an even amount of effort I think it’ll be better.”

Johnny smiled softly and leaned down to kiss Ten properly. They hadn’t had such a personal talk in a long time.

Ten kissed Johnny back gently. It was weird to be kissing the older man again, but he would definitely get used to this soon.

“I love you,” Johnny whispered, “so, so much, Tennie.”

Ten couldn’t really see Johnny’s face in the dark room, but he knew the older man wore a sincere expression. “I-I love you too.” He was glad he finally had the chance to say this in person. “You make us so happy. I haven’t seen Yuta smile as wide as he had today since we moved here.”

“And you?” Johnny asked, “have I made you happy too?”

“You have,” Ten said sincerely, “you’ve treated me better than I could have asked for. And as long as my family is happy, I’m happy. And that includes you.”

Johnny’s chest felt warm. “I’m sorry it took me so long to fix things,” he said.

Ten laid his head back down on Johnny’s chest. “I’m sorry I was such a dick when you were trying so hard to fix everything. And thank you for not giving up on us because of me.”

“I could never,” Johnny said, “I’m just glad we’re where we are now.”

Ten nodded. “Me too. I swear even Jaemin’s happier when you’re around,” he said, “but you have really made us so happy. You have no idea. Actually, you’ll probably have a good idea tomorrow when Yuta doesn’t let you out of his sight.”

Johnny smiled. “Well, I don’t plan on going anywhere for a long time,” he said, “I’m yours for good.”

Ten snuggled up to Johnny more. “Good. We’re not letting you go anyway,” he mumbled.

Johnny kissed Ten’s temple then finally settled in to sleep. He was finally, finally happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, everyone, this is it! We are so, so grateful for all of you that have stuck it out all summer with us to the end of this. This universe, starting from History in the Making, was our first RP universe and carries a special spot in our hearts, so it means a lot to us that so many of you are as invested in it as we are. 
> 
> We do intend on writing a third part of the main series, focusing on Taeyong and Kun's relationship with their kids as they grow up and become teenagers, but it will likely be a while before we get to that. Both of us are incredibly multi-fandom, so we're trying to do as many groups justice as we can before circling back to NCT/WayV.
> 
> If any of you are interested in reading our other RP works, you can find them all in the Roleplay Fics series. Aside from NCT/WayV, we've posted stories for Astro, VIXX, and Oneus so far, and we have Pentagon, SF9, A.C.E, and Stray Kids sitting in our editing bay. 
> 
> If you want to read any of our individual works, please feel free! We both have individual works for Pentagon, A.C.E, Monsta X, and Day6. We'll also be participating in Inktober 2019! We'll be doing a series, with a story for each day and a chapter written by each of us. Same prompt, same group/pairing, but our own individual takes on it, and with a variety of groups! Spoiler alert: day one is WayV!
> 
> Again, thank you so, so much for reading along with us and sharing so much of your emotions for these characters. If you want to get in touch with either of us, you can find Michelle on Tumblr @thetinyjunghoseokstan, and Ashlee on Tumblr @sunnyuto and on Twitter @sunnyuto_ (yes, with the underscore). We love talking with readers and followers so please feel free to reach out and share your thoughts!
> 
> With much appreciation,  
> Ashlee (writersstudy) and Michelle (Inkandquills)


End file.
